being a trophy wife for 4 months

[jasmine ruan 10]

Hey guys! I'm a silent member of this forum for like a year, reading everyone's articles and stories helps us a lot, thanks! Now I've been in Miami for 4 months, being with my beloved husband is the best thing ever happened to me. Truly appreciate every day here! As most of K visa holders, I'm bored with the waiting lol. But we gotta deal with it, the price we have to pay for our love! Here i wanna share with you guys my ways to kill time, hope they can save you out of boredom.

 

1、Register a gym. This is something that we can all afford and it's amazing! I became a member of LA Fitness the second month I arrived and couldn't stop since then. They got nearly 6-8 group fitness everyday from 8am-9pm, I basically spent 2 hours there 4 days every week. It helps me socialize a lot! I love Zumba and yoga, especially yoga class, it really calms me down during the hard waiting.

2、Doing embroidery. I love traditional Chinese embroidery, which is fun and a real "waste of time", i can basically sit for 8 hours just for finishing a leaf. I saw some simpler set in Walmart and Target, if you like handcraft, you have to try it. Here are my work lol. Spent roughly 2 months for each, working on another one now, hope i could finish it before my interview.

 

3、Volunteer in animal shelter. It's super easy to apply, all you need to do is go to their website, fill in a form and wait. Then they will arrange you for an orientation, after a background check, and you are gonna work really quick.I mainly walk dogs and pat cats. But I don't really feel myself really achieved something in volunteering, especially after I read online that this shelter will kill most of the animals everyday cause they can't take after that a lot amount. So I feel it's a waste of time, like I just meet a puppy today bath him walk him play with him, and second day, he's gone. That fact just made me sad. And plus, there is no guarantee that you won't get hurt. I was shocked the first time I got scratched by a dog, the working people there just told me to clean the wound with water. So guys, if you love animal, and want to devote your time in those charity organization, be very careful and think twice. 

 

4、Watch The Office. My husband recommended me this amazing show and I totally loved it! I spent 3 months to finish 9 seasons and now I'm rewatching it again. This show is not only funny but also really helpful for people like me, whose first language is not English (I'm from China), when i first came here, I could hardly understand people's oral english here. It was super discouraging. I was scared that i couldn't fit in and even suffered a little depression. After the 9 seasons, I feel so much better now, I got a notebook to write down all the expressions now. That just gave me a sense of fulfillment. And it's fun. BTW, any new recommendations?

 

5、Go to library events. This is something that just not my thing, to be honest. I went to an ESOL class and a knitting class, which are toooo easy and extremely boring. I wanted to make some friends there, but it turns out that you can never make true friends if you are at the wrong place. I didn't go to every library event, so if you are interested, go to the local public library system, it's a nice thing to do to get around with people anyway, and it's FREE!

 

 

That's pretty much everything, my husband will take me out for dinner, movies or games(let's go Heat!) too. Feel appreciated that he's so thoughtful and sweet. However, I sometimes still feel upset that I'm in a totally different country, what the future gonna have in store for me? I read some of people's stories that they are depressed, you guys don't know how jealous of me seeing you are from Britain , Australia... you guys at least have no problems communicating. Sometime i got frustrated that people can't understand me. I remember one time a waiter stopped talking to me cause I didn't know the name of certain food(I mean dude I never saw this food before in my life!!) But I keep cheering myself up, trying hard to improve myself. So guys, for those of you who feel lonely, isolated, anxious, I just wanna say, you are not alone! Get up and do something, get involved in this country, you will find your place! Feel free to share your life with me! I got tons of time to make new friends here!

 

 

Edited March 5, 2020 by jasmine ruan
delete picture

[user555 196]

It's a good post, but why did you title this "trophy wife"? It's a young, attractive wife regarded as a status symbol for an older man. It's usually not used in a nice way. One of the two parties is being looked down on. 

[Lemonslice 4,859]

 I am sure the Embroidery subreddit would love to see pictures of your work, it's beautiful!

https://www.reddit.com/r/embroidery

 

Parks and Recreation is another good TV show.  I really enjoyed it.  

 

Continue the good work, nothing like being active and improving yourself to help with the wait.

[geowrian 22,337]

46 minutes ago, user555 said:

It's a good post, but why did you title this "trophy wife"? It's a young, attractive wife regarded as a status symbol for an older man. It's usually not used in a nice way. One of the two parties is being looked down on. 

I have to agree...it's generally not a flattering phrase.

It is also used jokingly among friends just to say they're pretty, but not usually towards strangers/acquaintances in a flattering way.

Edited March 5, 2020 by geowrian

[TBoneTX 45,328]

Congratulations on seizing ways to occupy yourself productively!  Your example may inspire others to feel less discouraged and be proactive.

[Wuozopo 4,293]

Great post. It’s nice to see positive attitudes instead of sadness and impatience. 
 

I’m British and people don’t always understand me either. 😂

[jasmine ruan 10]

On 3/5/2020 at 12:39 AM, user555 said:

It's a good post, but why did you title this "trophy wife"? It's a young, attractive wife regarded as a status symbol for an older man. It's usually not used in a nice way. One of the two parties is being looked down on. 

😂thank you for telling me that, this is a word i use to joke with my husband, I wasn't aware of the negative meaning in it.

And I'm not allowed to edit this post, kinda awkward now.

On 3/5/2020 at 1:35 AM, TBoneTX said:

Congratulations on seizing ways to occupy yourself productively!  Your example may inspire others to feel less discouraged and be proactive.

Thanks! 

[jasmine ruan 10]

On 3/5/2020 at 1:26 AM, geowrian said:

I have to agree...it's generally not a flattering phrase.

It is also used jokingly among friends just to say they're pretty, but not usually towards strangers/acquaintances in a flattering way.

Thank you too! Too bad I can't change my post now 😂 Feel kinda awkward

[jasmine ruan 10]

On 3/5/2020 at 12:47 AM, Lemonslice said:

 I am sure the Embroidery subreddit would love to see pictures of your work, it's beautiful!

https://www.reddit.com/r/embroidery

 

Parks and Recreation is another good TV show.  I really enjoyed it.  

 

Continue the good work, nothing like being active and improving yourself to help with the wait.

Park and Recreation is on my list now 👌

[jasmine ruan 10]

On 3/5/2020 at 12:21 AM, jasmine ruan said:

Hey guys! I'm a silent member of this forum for like a year, reading everyone's articles and stories helps us a lot, thanks! Now I've been in Miami for 4 months, being with my beloved husband is the best thing ever happened to me. Truly appreciate every day here! As most of K visa holders, I'm bored with the waiting lol. But we gotta deal with it, the price we have to pay for our love! Here i wanna share with you guys my ways to kill time, hope they can save you out of boredom.

 

1、Register a gym. This is something that we can all afford and it's amazing! I became a member of LA Fitness the second month I arrived and couldn't stop since then. They got nearly 6-8 group fitness everyday from 8am-9pm, I basically spent 2 hours there 4 days every week. It helps me socialize a lot! I love Zumba and yoga, especially yoga class, it really calms me down during the hard waiting.

2、Doing embroidery. I love traditional Chinese embroidery, which is fun and a real "waste of time", i can basically sit for 8 hours just for finishing a leaf. I saw some simpler set in Walmart and Target, if you like handcraft, you have to try it. Here are my work lol. Spent roughly 2 months for each, working on another one now, hope i could finish it before my interview.

 

3、Volunteer in animal shelter. It's super easy to apply, all you need to do is go to their website, fill in a form and wait. Then they will arrange you for an orientation, after a background check, and you are gonna work really quick.I mainly walk dogs and pat cats. But I don't really feel myself really achieved something in volunteering, especially after I read online that this shelter will kill most of the animals everyday cause they can't take after that a lot amount. So I feel it's a waste of time, like I just meet a puppy today bath him walk him play with him, and second day, he's gone. That fact just made me sad. And plus, there is no guarantee that you won't get hurt. I was shocked the first time I got scratched by a dog, the working people there just told me to clean the wound with water. So guys, if you love animal, and want to devote your time in those charity organization, be very careful and think twice. 

 

4、Watch The Office. My husband recommended me this amazing show and I totally loved it! I spent 3 months to finish 9 seasons and now I'm rewatching it again. This show is not only funny but also really helpful for people like me, whose first language is not English (I'm from China), when i first came here, I could hardly understand people's oral english here. It was super discouraging. I was scared that i couldn't fit in and even suffered a little depression. After the 9 seasons, I feel so much better now, I got a notebook to write down all the expressions now. That just gave me a sense of fulfillment. And it's fun. BTW, any new recommendations?

 

5、Go to library events. This is something that just not my thing, to be honest. I went to an ESOL class and a knitting class, which are toooo easy and extremely boring. I wanted to make some friends there, but it turns out that you can never make true friends if you are at the wrong place. I didn't go to every library event, so if you are interested, go to the local public library system, it's a nice thing to do to get around with people anyway, and it's FREE!

 

 

That's pretty much everything, my husband will take me out for dinner, movies or games(let's go Heat!) too. Feel appreciated that he's so thoughtful and sweet. However, I sometimes still feel upset that I'm in a totally different country, what the future gonna have in store for me? I read some of people's stories that they are depressed, you guys don't know how jealous of me seeing you are from Britain , Australia... you guys at least have no problems communicating. Sometime i got frustrated that people can't understand me. I remember one time a waiter stopped talking to me cause I didn't know the name of certain food(I mean dude I never saw this food before in my life!!) But I keep cheering myself up, trying hard to improve myself. So guys, for those of you who feel lonely, isolated, anxious, I just wanna say, you are not alone! Get up and do something, get involved in this country, you will find your place! Feel free to share your life with me! I got tons of time to make new friends here!

 

 

An update for my story:

 

Good news: I just got my EAD card on Thursday, March 05. So I got something new to do.

First is of course looking for jobs. My situation is kinda different. I'm a Master Degree holder... sounds fancy but my major is ENGLISH which is competent in China but not here. That means I don't have no skills except speak English (not at proficient level), therefore I can already expect a long and hard job hunting journey coming up. 

 

While applying for jobs, my husband suggests me to register Uber, which is sooooo helpful, cause I can have some income (it's actually very nice money), and at same time, go to interviews whenever I want. And I got to meet some interesting people by doing Uber. Here is the earning for my 5-hour drive on weekends:

 

 

[jasmine ruan 10]

21 hours ago, Wuozopo said:

Great post. It’s nice to see positive attitudes instead of sadness and impatience. 
 

I’m British and people don’t always understand me either. 😂

There were moments I was anxious and depressed at home 😫 I

Haha that's interesting, I actually picked up some British Uber riders these two days, they are complaining the same thing. 🤣

[geowrian 22,337]

52 minutes ago, jasmine ruan said:

Thank you too! Too bad I can't change my post now 😂 Feel kinda awkward

It's fine. We all got what was meant by it. I'm glad to see how well it's going!

[Lemonslice 4,859]

53 minutes ago, jasmine ruan said:

An update for my story:

 

Good news: I just got my EAD card on Thursday, March 05. So I got something new to do.

First is of course looking for jobs. My situation is kinda different. I'm a Master Degree holder... sounds fancy but my major is ENGLISH which is competent in China but not here. That means I don't have no skills except speak English (not at proficient level), therefore I can already expect a long and hard job hunting journey coming up. 

 

While applying for jobs, my husband suggests me to register Uber, which is sooooo helpful, cause I can have some income (it's actually very nice money), and at same time, go to interviews whenever I want. And I got to meet some interesting people by doing Uber. Here is the earning for my 5-hour drive on weekends:

 

 

You do have skills. You're a good communicator. You finished your Master, so you're most likely organized and persistent.  Have you thought about the kind of work you'd like to do (Netflix comedy writer, maybe 😂)?  Aim high!  

Local job/career center can be useful to network and find employers actively looking for candidates.

 

Are you able to visit a local group to practice your English? Here, they're meeting at the library and at the community college.  

 

Best of luck!

[Wuozopo 4,293]

How about translator jobs? Start googling.

[TBoneTX 45,328]

The British simply need to learn to speak English as we Colonists do.