Need some advice

[phong+mai 0]

I've posted this in the "Moving here" section as it's not really immigration-related, but I was hoping to get some replies from people more familiar with our culture. Please have a look and let me know your thoughts:

CLICK: Wife wants to move to Seattle

Please reply to the other thread and not this one. Thanks!

Edited June 15, 2007 by phong+mai

[phong+mai 0]

Sorry, correct link: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=73229

[CK&Tydi 0]

Sorry, correct link: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=73229

Phong,

I just hope you can find more persuade way to explain to her about the the life in this country. From what you had posted, Your wife got bore and want to move closer to her sister only. About the job, it is a B.S excused she got (don't get mad on this) It is truth. Plus, if you want your relationship to last dont let her get into the Hair / Nail career. I had seen a lot of bad thing happened for a lot of people here in Southern California. Especially, in the Bolsa area.. Orange County. Plus get something for her to do or send her back to school. If you are ready then have a baby.. This will cure all her boredom.

For my case, my wife wants to be close to her sister in Portland. But I say no to her. I got my job and my house here. I dont want to move to any place else beside Calif. Plus, if i move, will there be a job available for me and good retirement package for me later on in life? Not too sure right? So the case is closed, no further discussion. I even told her if she doesn't like it. She can leave..... IF the person love you, they will understand and compromise each other. At some point you have to be strong, you dont have to please them all the time. Woman they just think for them self only not for other. Be strong bro, Good luck..

[ridejewel 0]

ah, we're all in the same boat, man. Most of these girls have other family members in other parts of the states who really want them with them...well, TS. She married you, you live in CT, unless you're okay with the move, don't. My wife has an aunt in NJ who keeps offering her her own nail shop, a house, car...yada yada...my wife wants to go, I don't. My wife submitted to my request of staying in Seattle (yeah, I live where your wife wants to go,) I did, however, tell my wife that I would move to LA where her other aunt lives. Anna's good friends with her aunt in LA and my work allows me to travel, so why not. Anyways, stick to your guns, man, do what you feel's best.

[GOSSIPSAIGON 0]

Sorry, correct link: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=73229

Phong,

I just hope you can find more persuade way to explain to her about the the life in this country. From what you had posted, Your wife got bore and want to move closer to her sister only. About the job, it is a B.S excused she got (don't get mad on this) It is truth. Plus, if you want your relationship to last dont let her get into the Hair / Nail career. I had seen a lot of bad thing happened for a lot of people here in Southern California. Especially, in the Bolsa area.. Orange County. Plus get something for her to do or send her back to school. If you are ready then have a baby.. This will cure all her boredom.

For my case, my wife wants to be close to her sister in Portland. But I say no to her. I got my job and my house here. I dont want to move to any place else beside Calif. Plus, if i move, will there be a job available for me and good retirement package for me later on in life? Not too sure right? So the case is closed, no further discussion. I even told her if she doesn't like it. She can leave..... IF the person love you, they will understand and compromise each other. At some point you have to be strong, you dont have to please them all the time. Woman they just think for them self only not for other. Be strong bro, Good luck..

I agree. Stay away from the Bolsa area at all cost. Bolsa đi dễ khó về, trai đi có vợ gái về có con......

[dalegg 143]

Sorry, correct link: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=73229

Phong,

I just hope you can find more persuade way to explain to her about the the life in this country. From what you had posted, Your wife got bore and want to move closer to her sister only. About the job, it is a B.S excused she got (don't get mad on this) It is truth. Plus, if you want your relationship to last dont let her get into the Hair / Nail career. I had seen a lot of bad thing happened for a lot of people here in Southern California. Especially, in the Bolsa area.. Orange County. Plus get something for her to do or send her back to school. If you are ready then have a baby.. This will cure all her boredom.

Hey! We live in O.C. and my wife happens to work as a Hair Dresser at Fantastic Sams! This hasn't hurt our marriage at all. In fact having the extra cash gives us extra spending money so we go out more and have fun together. It's not in Little Saigon though. She has said she would never do that- but being so close to Little Saigon has been good for her. The food she likes is right down there, along with a lot of stores that sell things they don't sell at Wal Mart that she thinks she needs.

It's going to depend on your wife and your marriage.

[^KK^ 3]

Sorry, correct link: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=73229

Phong,

I just hope you can find more persuade way to explain to her about the the life in this country. From what you had posted, Your wife got bore and want to move closer to her sister only. About the job, it is a B.S excused she got (don't get mad on this) It is truth. Plus, if you want your relationship to last dont let her get into the Hair / Nail career. I had seen a lot of bad thing happened for a lot of people here in Southern California. Especially, in the Bolsa area.. Orange County. Plus get something for her to do or send her back to school. If you are ready then have a baby.. This will cure all her boredom.

For my case, my wife wants to be close to her sister in Portland. But I say no to her. I got my job and my house here. I dont want to move to any place else beside Calif. Plus, if i move, will there be a job available for me and good retirement package for me later on in life? Not too sure right? So the case is closed, no further discussion. I even told her if she doesn't like it. She can leave..... IF the person love you, they will understand and compromise each other. At some point you have to be strong, you dont have to please them all the time. Woman they just think for them self only not for other. Be strong bro, Good luck..

Way to lay down the law....

[Lance27 19]

Moving to a new place should be mutual. Both parties should sit down and talk about where they want to move. Put down the + points and the - points down on paper and see if that is really where you want to move. If you do not want to move but will do it only because your wife wants you to... it might come around one day to bite you in the ***** when things are not going so well. Think, talk things through and then decide.

Good luck.

PS I did read your post on the original thread but I never got around to replying to you. I also saw people post saying that she left her whole life to be with you and this is the least you could do. Hey Its your life... your family, If you do not feel comfortable moving dont.

Edited June 17, 2007 by Lance27

[ladywhite 0]

Phong:

You are in such a difficult situation.

I agree with many folks here. Your wife doesn't understand how hard it is to relocate to another State. She is new to the US, feeling homesick and useless, because she doesn't have a job and probably stays home most of the time.

I would sit her down and ask her to give herself more time to get familiar with new things and lifestyle. at the same time, i would help her by getting her involved in something to gain her self-esteem. Do you have a vietnamese commuity close to home where she can be involved in doing some volunteer work? convincing her to take English classes might be a good idea (if her English is not good). Being able to communicate should help her get through this transition a little more easily.

it's true that she left her family behind to be with you in the US. but it's CT where your life is, so she should want to be with you, not with her sister. when she wants to move to Seattle, it doesn't sound like she puts you as her first piority.

Pardon me for asking this: did she move here for you or for a new life she might want to have with her sister?

Good luck with your decision.

[phong+mai 0]

Thanks for your comments everyone. Please see my response in the main thread, I don't feel like typing it again