Please help, Husband is abusing me

[MiriamK 24]

We got married 2 and a half years ago and I arrived in the US last month on IR1 visa.

As soon as I arrived my husbands behavior changed from loving and caring to abuse and mostly mental abuse, he kept making fun of me, my accent, my clothes, calling me foreigner that without him I'd be nothing.

I found a job and he started making fun of my job as well.

We went to the store and he embarrassed my in front of everyone when I didn't understand what the person at the store said, he had an accent and I have hard time understanding heavy accents.

Then when I asked him why he embarrassed me like that he started yelling at me and calling me names like (removed) and slime ball and said I was his property.

2 days ago I've had enough and I rented an airbnb and left in the middle of the night.

Now he keeps texting me that he is going to contact immigration and report me and tell them to send me back to my country.

I still don't have my GC and he said when it comes in the mail he won't give it to me.

I don't know what to do. 

 

Edited February 26, 2020 by Unlockable
Edited for language

[Boiler 45,294]

File an AR 11 so that your GC is delivered to your new address.

[Crazy Cat 41,594]

Your husband has no power to have you deported.  You are a legal resident of the US.....I would IMMEDIATELY find a competent divorce attorney and file.  You must protect yourself physically and legally.....and inform your attorney of his threats.

 

You are NOT his property......and neither is YOUR Green Card his property.  Your green card is only evidence of your status.....it does not convey status......your stamped passport is also evidence of your status.....good luck.

 

@Boiler is correct.  Do that right now....

Edited February 25, 2020 by missileman

[portorusa 431]

Sorry to hear what's happening to you. Do you have a plan? What do you want to do, divorce him and go back to your country? Or do you want to stay in the US? Do you have a place to stay?

He cannot keep your green card, it's illegal.

[MiriamK 24]

33 minutes ago, Boiler said:

File an AR 11 so that your GC is delivered to your new address.

I don't have a permanent address, I am staying at an airbnb for one month and have no idea where I'm going to go after 

[NikLR 13,227]

~~moved to effects of major changes from IR1CR1 process and procedures~~

[MiriamK 24]

I read that in NY I have to wait six months before filing a divorce 

33 minutes ago, portorusa said:

Sorry to hear what's happening to you. Do you have a plan? What do you want to do, divorce him and go back to your country? Or do you want to stay in the US? Do you have a place to stay?

He cannot keep your green card, it's illegal.

No, I have a job but don't know what I will do next 

[Boiler 45,294]

A month rental makes you a tenant, anyway rent a PO Box and have it delivered there.

[MiriamK 24]

20 minutes ago, Boiler said:

A month rental makes you a tenant, anyway rent a PO Box and have it delivered there.

Do they send to PO boxes? 

How about those virtual address services? can I use one of those? 

[Boiler 45,294]

They sent to my PO Box. Well any rented address should work.

[stech786 236]

3 hours ago, MiriamK said:

I don't have a permanent address, I am staying at an airbnb for one month and have no idea where I'm going to go after 

rent someone basement or find a good friend, who can allow you to use their home address, then you can move around airbnb. 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

Given we’ve only got one side of the story and that it’s odd that his attitude has changed so drastically so soon after your arrival I’d recommend family and/or marriage guidance. 

 

If you dont understand what’s being said, how do you know they were making fun of you? Of course your accent is different, many of us have that same issue, it may well become a point of fun... ive been asked to read a phone book just so people can hear it, is it making fun? Are you a foreigner? Yes you are, it’s a factual point..j is it mean or embarrassing no, they’re just having fun or teasing..  I think a lot of miss communication going on.. 

Edited February 26, 2020 by Duke & Marie

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

12 minutes ago, Duke & Marie said:

Given we’ve only got one side of the story and that it’s odd that his attitude has changed so drastically so soon after your arrival I’d recommend family and/or marriage guidance. 

 

If you dont understand what’s being said, how do you know they were making fun of you? Of course your accent is different, many of us have that same issue, it may well become a point of fun... ive been asked to read a phone book just so people can hear it, is it making fun? Are you a foreigner? Yes you are, it’s a factual point..j is it mean or embarrassing no, they’re just having fun or teasing..  I think a lot of miss communication going on.. 

He referred to her as his property. If that’s what he believes then his behavior is not surprising at all. Hard to miscommunicate that, it’s pretty clear.

 

Marriage counseling has it’s time and place, but I hate when people use it to try and guilt scared, abused partners to work out issues that are irreparable. Fighting is one thing, but when it gets to the point of abuse, there is a line being crossed. A basic respect of your partner as a human being, and knowing not to abuse them, isn’t something that should need to be counseled.

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

8 minutes ago, MorganandMichael said:

He referred to her as his property. If that’s what he believes then his behavior is not surprising at all. Hard to miscommunicate that, it’s pretty clear.

 

Marriage counseling has it’s time and place, but I hate when people use it to try and guilt scared, abused partners to work out issues that are irreparable. Fighting is one thing, but when it gets to the point of abuse, there is a line being crossed. A basic respect of your partner as a human being, and knowing not to abuse them, isn’t something that should need to be counseled.

I’m not trying to guilt anyone into doing anything. And my husband tells me I’m his all the time, but dosent make me his property.

 

But like I said, there are always two sides to a story and there are clear communications issues, it’s also extremely odd that throughout the whole process he was kind and loving and then suddenly 1 month after her arrival he’s abusive for no apparent reason?

 

Like seriously, You can’t or shouldn’t be telling people to go file for a divorce based on one side of a stories over what appears to be one maybe two mentioned arguments or comments.. this is clearly a family issue not immigration and for all we know, the guy could be totally innocent of all accusations, hence saying go get family guidance assistance.

Edited February 26, 2020 by Duke & Marie

[Cathi 5,740]

39 minutes ago, Duke & Marie said:

I’m not trying to guilt anyone into doing anything. And my husband tells me I’m his all the time, but dosent make me his property.

 

But like I said, there are always two sides to a story and there are clear communications issues, it’s also extremely odd that throughout the whole process he was kind and loving and then suddenly 1 month after her arrival he’s abusive for no apparent reason?

 

Like seriously, You can’t or shouldn’t be telling people to go file for a divorce based on one side of a stories over what appears to be one maybe two mentioned arguments or comments.. this is clearly a family issue not immigration and for all we know, the guy could be totally innocent of all accusations, hence saying go get family guidance assistance.

It's an immigration issue if he is threatening to deport her!