Anyone Wait Right Up to 90 Day Mark to File?

[Ermehgerdd 172]

21 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Hi OP,

 

We actually were in a similar boat to you - our big wedding, with friends and family flying over for, was on day 87 of my 90 days (there were various circumstances that led to this)...however, we chose to 'do our paperwork' a week after I arrived.

 

By this, I mean that we were technically married a week after I arrived...basically, we had lunch with our officiant and signed the paperwork then. We didn't make any vows, say anything, swap rings - it felt no more significant than signing the bill for lunch - however, as we and officiant had signed, we were married.

 

We were then able to file for my AOS straight away after receiving our wedding certificate - and then when we had our big wedding on day 87, it very much felt like our real marriage (no one but our officiant and us knew otherwise), we cried saying our vows, etc. 

 

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that this is totally an option that in no way detracts from the significance of your planned wedding and helps you get the AOS ball rolling quicker 🙃.

I am coming around to this idea, thank you for sharing!  Did you have witnesses at your lunch? Were they able to keep your marriage quiet?

[Ermehgerdd 172]

On 2/25/2020 at 8:31 AM, Luckycuds said:

Hi- no not the period prior to marriage.

It would be cheaper to be added to your husbands after marriage. When you file for AOS there is a new form that asks if you have health insurance as well as the details.

Yes, I'm confident he can be added to my insurance straightaway after marriage and before filing AOS. Advantages of working in HR next to the benefits folks ❤️

[Wuozopo 4,293]

1 hour ago, Ermehgerdd said:

I am coming around to this idea, thank you for sharing!  Did you have witnesses at your lunch? Were they able to keep your marriage quiet?

Grab two waiters to witness?? Give them a nice tip. 🙂

Some states don’t require witnesses. List https://www.usmarriagelaws.com/marriage-license/marriage-witnesses-requirements/

[Ermehgerdd 172]

Just now, Wuozopo said:

Grab two waiters to witness?? Give them a nice tip. 🙂

Some states don’t require witnesses. List https://www.usmarriagelaws.com/marriage-license/marriage-witnesses-requirements/

I know mine does, but I like your idea about the servers! Not sure if they have to present ID yet though...

[Wuozopo 4,293]

4 minutes ago, Ermehgerdd said:

I know mine does, but I like your idea about the servers! Not sure if they have to present ID yet though...

They have to be 18 yrs old, so maybe officiant would want to confirm. 
 

You could also marry out of state somewhere with no witness requirement, but that’s getting complicated. Would insure nobody you knew would be having lunch at the same place. 😂 

Edited February 26, 2020 by Wuozopo

[Zoeeeeeee 797]

1 hour ago, Ermehgerdd said:

I am coming around to this idea, thank you for sharing!  Did you have witnesses at your lunch? Were they able to keep your marriage quiet?

Nope!

 

In California, you can actually opt for a 'confidential' marriage license, where no witnesses are needed...and if I went smarter, I totally would've got one of those! 🤣

 

As it was, our waiter Fernando was our witness...we tipped him VERY well 🙃.

 

Apart from my husband and our officiant, only one other person knows - and that's my husband's close friend, who acted as our pretend witness at the wedding 🙃. And so far, he's not told a soul (we believe).

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

I was asked to be a random witness for a wedding once. It was actually really exciting to me. I would not be a good person to ask if you wanted to keep it as low-key as possibly though. I’d be visibly gleeful aha.

[Boiler 45,529]

3 minutes ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Nope!

 

In California, you can actually opt for a 'confidential' marriage license, where no witnesses are needed...and if I went smarter, I totally would've got one of those! 🤣

 

As it was, our waiter Fernando was our witness...we tipped him VERY well 🙃.

 

Apart from my husband and our officiant, only one other person knows - and that's my husband's close friend, who acted as our pretend witness at the wedding 🙃. And so far, he's not told a soul (we believe).

We know.

[Zoeeeeeee 797]

23 minutes ago, Boiler said:

We know.

Yeah, I'm not so good at this secret wedding malarkey 🤷🏻‍♀️

[jaysaldi 213]

I guess when advising people in the future on the pros and cons of waiting until close to the 90th day to get married, we should contemplate "What will you do if some national emergency occurs and all courthouses, airlines, wedding venues, country recorder offices, etc. shut down before you get married?" 

 

Is anyone out there now in danger of missing the 90 day deadline because it's hard to find a place to get married?

Edited March 18, 2020 by jaysaldi

[Ermehgerdd 172]

2 minutes ago, jaysaldi said:

I guess when advising people in the future on the pros and cons of waiting until close to the 90th day to get married, we should contemplate "What will you do if some national emergency occurs and all courthouses, airlines, wedding venues, country recorder offices, etc. shut down before you get married?" 

 

Is anyone out there now in danger of missing the 90 day deadline because it's hard to find a place to get married?

Apparently! We failed to factor in "pandemic" in our timeline 🤣 who would have thought.

 

As devastating as it is to now be in this uncertain purgatory, we are "lucky" in that we have not had the interview (It was scheduled for Mar 30), so we are not facing any tight deadlines. Just the anxiety of not being able to see each other as planned this month and not know when it will happen next.

[Tyty040418 11]

On 2/25/2020 at 1:27 PM, Zoeeeeeee said:

Hi OP,

 

We actually were in a similar boat to you - our big wedding, with friends and family flying over for, was on day 87 of my 90 days (there were various circumstances that led to this)...however, we chose to 'do our paperwork' a week after I arrived.

 

By this, I mean that we were technically married a week after I arrived...basically, we had lunch with our officiant and signed the paperwork then. We didn't make any vows, say anything, swap rings - it felt no more significant than signing the bill for lunch - however, as we and officiant had signed, we were married.

 

We were then able to file for my AOS straight away after receiving our wedding certificate - and then when we had our big wedding on day 87, it very much felt like our real marriage (no one but our officiant and us knew otherwise), we cried saying our vows, etc. 

 

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that this is totally an option that in no way detracts from the significance of your planned wedding and helps you get the AOS ball rolling quicker 🙃.

I love this. Ideally I would love for us to officially be married at the wedding, but given the circumstances, it’s very hard to do. I like how nonchalant your signing of the paperwork was, to ensure that the ceremony was still very special. 

[Zoeeeeeee 797]

3 hours ago, Tyty040418 said:

I love this. Ideally I would love for us to officially be married at the wedding, but given the circumstances, it’s very hard to do. I like how nonchalant your signing of the paperwork was, to ensure that the ceremony was still very special. 

It was so nonchalant, we had to double check it definitely meant we were married - and neither us can remember the date without checking the calendar or the wedding certificate, because it was just such a non-affair 🤣.

 

But the big wedding - that was the day we became husband and wife and that's the day that's really special to us...and it also makes us laugh how our big day was at a beautiful, fancy venue - but our paperwork meeting was at a local PF Changs 🤣. Having said that, my husband and I both love Chinese food, so it's entirely apt 🤣.

[Tyty040418 11]

10 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

It was so nonchalant, we had to double check it definitely meant we were married - and neither us can remember the date without checking the calendar or the wedding certificate, because it was just such a non-affair 🤣.

 

But the big wedding - that was the day we became husband and wife and that's the day that's really special to us...and it also makes us laugh how our big day was at a beautiful, fancy venue - but our paperwork meeting was at a local PF Changs 🤣. Having said that, my husband and I both love Chinese food, so it's entirely apt 🤣.

Awww I love it!! So there were no words you had to say to each other at all? It was really just signing papers, and that’s it?

[Just Paul 4,595]

1 hour ago, Tyty040418 said:

Awww I love it!! So there were no words you had to say to each other at all? It was really just signing papers, and that’s it?

Not a K1 but we had a judicial wedding in a Hong Kong registry.  It was pretty easy.  We reserved it ahead of time and knew we needed two witnesses.  I flew my mom and dad out from the states.  We all showed up, made sure the paperwork was correct at a booth and went into a conference room.  The bride and groom sat on one side and the witnesses the other. The officiant came in asked everyone who they were, asked us if we wished to marry and that neither of us was under duress.  The officiant signed the certificate, gave it to us to sign and wished us well.  The registry is located in a park and we took lots of pictures and walked to a fancy lunch I had reserved.   The next ones after us came in fully formal with about 30 to 40 people.  We ended up have 3 big parties later on.  One with her family in the Philippines, one in Mexico and one in the US.   Here are some photos . . . that show the facility

 

http://www.starthongkongmarriage.com/hongkongmarriageregistry/cottontreedrivemarriageregistry