Marriage is going well but living separately -- how does that affect my status?

[Summer2014 0]

Hi fellow VJ members!

 

I entered the U.S with a K1 visa 2 years ago and recently filed the I-751 to remove condition on residence. I'm currently living with my spouse, and our marriage is going well. However, I will be moving to another state for college next year. I'm worried about how that might affect my green card renewal? and consequently my naturalization down the road? Hopefully someone can shed some lights on this. Thank you!

 

 

[Ontarkie 14,234]

~~Moved to ROC, from AOS Family K1/K3 - the OP is asking about ROC~~

[Hawksquill 151]

Why can't your spouse move with you?  And if they can't move for some compelling reason, why not find a university closer to home so you can live together?  It's going to make it much more difficult to prove the relationship is legitimate - most people would not willingly choose to live apart from their spouse, especially after they went through so much in the US immigration system to be together.  In most cases where couples have to live apart, it's because one of them is in the military and has been deployed, or one of them has a job that requires a lot of travel (like working on an oil rig or something similarly dangerous where the other spouse can't easily move to be with them).  Choosing to move out of state to go to college isn't going to look like a very good reason, and it might actually look like you've separated. 

 

What kind of other evidence do you have - joint bank accounts, shared insurance, car loans in both your names? 

Edited February 22, 2020 by Hawksquill

[Summer2014 0]

I am a he; my spouse as well. Our relationship is not the most common typically seen in this forum. I am in my twenties, whereas my spouse is 2 decades older than me. We are currently living in a small town in New Jersey, where the local economy is dire. While he is blessed with a fulfilling and established career (so he's not going anywhere), I am just about to venture into building something for myself. In short, we are in extremely different phases in life -- he is way ahead. I am in a local community college now, but next year I'll be transferring to a four-year university, which is still in New Jersey (1.5 hrs driving). However, Camden (where the school is located) is a real shitty town, so I will be living in Philadelphia instead (which is right next to Camden). I will still be going home to him every weekend, but the fact is we no longer will be residing together, hence the dilemma. 

 

I feel like I'm in quite a unique situation. Has somebody faced this before? Any input?

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

41 minutes ago, Summer2014 said:

next year I'll be transferring to a four-year university, which is still in New Jersey (1.5hr driving away) However, Camden (where the school is located) is a really shitty town, so I will be living in Philadelphia instead (which is right next to Camden). I will still be going home to him every weekend, but the fact is we no longer will be residing together, hence the dilemma. 

 

I feel like I'm in quite a unique situation. Has somebody faced this before? Any input?

Personally, I currently drive 1.5hrs to work and back daily, so can’t see why you need to move it’s not far at all. 

 

yeah it might be a shitty town as you say, but it’s the town where your spouse lives and lived before you moved there, is moving and living seperatly just 1.5hrs away really worth the dilemma? 

[Hawksquill 151]

59 minutes ago, Summer2014 said:

I am a he; my spouse as well. Our relationship is not the most common typically seen in this forum. I am in my twenties, whereas my spouse is 2 decades older than me. We are currently living in a small town in New Jersey, where the local economy is dire. While he is blessed with a fulfilling and established career (so he's not going anywhere), I am just about to venture into building something for myself. In short, we are in extremely different phases in life -- he is way ahead. I am in a local community college now, but next year I'll be transferring to a four-year university, which is still in New Jersey (1.5 hrs driving). However, Camden (where the school is located) is a real shitty town, so I will be living in Philadelphia instead (which is right next to Camden). I will still be going home to him every weekend, but the fact is we no longer will be residing together, hence the dilemma. 

 

I feel like I'm in quite a unique situation. Has somebody faced this before? Any input?

1.5 hours is easily within commuting distance.  It might not be ideal, but is it really worth the hassle of moving to a different state, living apart from your spouse, and looking suspicious at your ROC interview?  If you were an IO reviewing this case, how would this look objectively?  They don't necessarily care about age difference, or how stable your spouse's job is, or how you don't like Camden and don't want to live there.  If they're just looking at the facts, they see that you're choosing to live apart, out of state, and that you don't have a particularly good reason to do so, especially because 1.5 hours is a pretty commutable distance for most people.  

[Moe428 129]

It's not as big a deal as some might suggest.  There are few things to consider here.

 

1. Reason for the move
2. How long is the move for
3. The evidence you have otherwise to support you have a bonafide relationship

 

For 1) Moving because of school is fine, but there should be a reason why your spouse can't move.  A good reason could be because of their job.  Lot of spouses live separately because of school, so I don't see the problem here.

2)  As long as the move is temporary (which in your case it is), I think it is fine.

3)  Probably the most important piece.  You should really strong evidence otherwise that you have a bonafide relationship.  Both your names should be on both your leases in the two places you live.  On top of that, the usual bank account, insurance, beneficiary, utility bills etc.  If you own a house under both your names, that should work very well.

 

You will most likely get an interview, however this isn't a big deal IMO that it will be a major problem in the interview.

Edited February 22, 2020 by Moe428

[Moe428 129]

11 minutes ago, Hawksquill said:

1.5 hours is easily within commuting distance.  It might not be ideal, but is it really worth the hassle of moving to a different state, living apart from your spouse, and looking suspicious at your ROC interview?  If you were an IO reviewing this case, how would this look objectively?  They don't necessarily care about age difference, or how stable your spouse's job is, or how you don't like Camden and don't want to live there.  If they're just looking at the facts, they see that you're choosing to live apart, out of state, and that you don't have a particularly good reason to do so, especially because 1.5 hours is a pretty commutable distance for most people.  

 

28 minutes ago, Duke & Marie said:

Personally, I currently drive 1.5hrs to work and back daily, so can’t see why you need to move it’s not far at all. 

 

yeah it might be a shitty town as you say, but it’s the town where your spouse lives and lived before you moved there, is moving and living seperatly just 1.5hrs away really worth the dilemma? 

This is a matter of perspective. 1.5 hours is OK with some people and not others.  I would certainly hate driving even one hour one way every day.  Based on what I have heard, people living separately because of school is very common.

Edited February 22, 2020 by Moe428

[Moe428 129]

I forgot to mention this in my previous post, and can't edit that post.

 

How often are you planning on visiting/seeing each other?  Ideally it should be at least 1 week of the month, if not more. And you should collect evidence of the visits, such as pictures, receipts etc.

[K1visaHopeful 2,820]

The only comment I will make is:

Ugh, Camden (I feel for you, lol).

[JFH 12,190]

15 hours ago, Moe428 said:

 

This is a matter of perspective. 1.5 hours is OK with some people and not others.  I would certainly hate driving even one hour one way every day.  Based on what I have heard, people living separately because of school is very common.

If 1.5 hours was all I needed to drive each way to live with my husband then I would do it. I wouldn’t drive 1.5 hours to buy a loaf of bread or get my car washed but this is something more important. Bear in mind that before we got our spousal visas many of us travelled thousands of miles to be able to see our spouses and during those times if long-distance I would have laughed at anyone that wouldn’t even consider driving 1.5 hours each way to be together. I used to drive further than that each day to work and back.

 

Living apart for school is not uncommon but that’s usually where there are a couple of states between home and school. Not 1.5 hours on the freeway. If school was in California then of course they would live separately. 

[carmel34 3,635]

When my husband got his visa and moved from Brazil to California, we bought a house in the country, away from the big cities and far from my office, because that's what he wanted, he's a small town guy and did not feel comfortable with traffic, crime, and other problems.  We both wanted the solitude and tranquility of living on the side of a mountain.  So now I commute to work, one hour, sometimes 1.5 hours or even 2 hours each way, depending on traffic.  I could not imagine not being with him, sleeping with him every night.  Recently I had to travel for work, and even being away from him for 2 nights was difficult, because we love each other so much and suffered through a long-distance relationship for two years, and we never want to go back to that sort of arrangement.  My advice would be to commute and keep living together, to avoid any questions about the validity of your relationship at the ROC stage.  Have you checked out online programs?  These days, you can study and get just about any degree online and never have to leave your house.  Good luck!

[Charming12 59]

16 hours ago, Moe428 said:

It's not as big a deal as some might suggest.  There are few things to consider here.

 

1. Reason for the move
2. How long is the move for
3. The evidence you have otherwise to support you have a bonafide relationship

 

For 1) Moving because of school is fine, but there should be a reason why your spouse can't move.  A good reason could be because of their job.  Lot of spouses live separately because of school, so I don't see the problem here.

2)  As long as the move is temporary (which in your case it is), I think it is fine.

3)  Probably the most important piece.  You should really strong evidence otherwise that you have a bonafide relationship.  Both your names should be on both your leases in the two places you live.  On top of that, the usual bank account, insurance, beneficiary, utility bills etc.  If you own a house under both your names, that should work very well.

 

You will most likely get an interview, however this isn't a big deal IMO that it will be a major problem in the interview.

I'm in kind of similar situation. My wife (US Citizen)and son move to another state just recently because of her job and family live in that state and  and we are expecting second child soon so my in laws could baby sit both of our kids. My I751 case is in process and I recently filled for N400 and I will move there permanently as soon as I'm done with immigration process (probably takes 6 to 9 months). I did not want to move now two reason. mainly because of my job assignment and secondly, I moving to another state while my paperwork in pending would further delay immigration process. Do you think that would be problematic?

[African Zealot 1,455]

Ultimately both sides have a case in this debate. Moving a distance away for school/work other reasons happens in many marriages. Some may see a 1.5 hours (actually 3 hours) commute as easy peasy and not a good excuse to stay apart, and many like me who hate driving will view 3 hours that as totally untenable justifying living apart.

 

When your case it evaluates in its totality however it doesn’t look too good. Large age difference, married not too long, etc compounds what was a borderline unusual situation in a hostile immigration climate.

 

Either defer moving until you remove conditions, or be ready with an abundance of evidence to prove that your marriage is legit. 

 

Good luck!

[Cathi 5,757]

Your age gap has nothing to do with living apart, neither does the distance to school. I am 21 years older than my husband and when he moved to the US 8 years ago, he traveled 2 hours each way to work when he got his first job. Neither our age difference or the distance to his job prevented us from living together for a single day.