USC being threatned with VAWA.

[kimme79 42]

here is the situation.  My wife and i fought on June 2019. there is no police report.  She is claming physcal abuse.  She has whatsapp conversation where i am telling her that i am going to buy her a plane ticket to go back home to colombia.  We got back together in July 2019.  My wife left me again in septmber right after she got her green card.  My wife got her green card on september 12th of 2019.  Two days later she left me again.  We lived in an appartment and she removed herself from the lease.  I have proof she is no longer on the lease then after. 

 

We got back together in December of 2019.  During january of 2020, we had an argument and she is clamming emotional distress, physical abuse and psychological estress.  She is currently living in my appartment, last night she called the cops on me because she felt threatened and wanted to sleep.  There was no police report on the domestic disturbance.  We are now sleeping in seprate rooms.  She is calling immigration tomorrow and is telling me she will be filing a VAWA case against me.  I am the USC.  I need to know what i am up against.  I want to evict her from my apartment but she has nowhere to go.  I do not want ICE or immigration after me or be tried as an abuser (mental physical or pyschological).  She is going to the doctor for therapy and psychological help.  She says i stress her and i cause her to go into panic mode.  I do not know what to do here.  

 

- She has her temporary green card since september 2019.  

- I will not grant her permanent status.

-She will not leave the house, her name is not on the lease.

- she is asking for $3000 for her to leave.

-She is claming emotional physical mental and economical abuse.

 

 

I want her gone so i can divorce her.

 

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by kimme79
date change

[kimme79 42]

Tomorrow morning i am seeking immigration attorney help.  I need this person out of my life.  I know she is going to go to the cops and or immigration.

[geowrian 22,337]

35 minutes ago, kimme79 said:

She is calling immigration tomorrow and is telling me she will be filing a VAWA case against me.  I am the USC.  I need to know what i am up against. 

VAWA for what exactly? She has a green card already. VAWA doesn't apply. I don't think she thought this through.

 

She can do ROC with an abuse waiver if desired, but it would not be to her benefit as the divorce waiver is much easier. Showing a divorce + bona fide marriage is easier than showing abuse + bona fide marriage...a divorce just needs a decree whereby abuse needs a decent amount of documentation.

 

Either way, for either the ROC abuse waiver or VAWA (if it had applied - it doesn't here), it has no impact on you. It would be up to her to show abuse . They do not contact you, get your side of the story, etc. It does not prevent you from petitioning somebody else in the future.

 

Edit:

35 minutes ago, kimme79 said:

- She has her temporary green card since september 2019.  

- I will not grant her permanent status.

-She will not leave the house, her name is not on the lease.

- she is asking for $3000 for her to leave.

-She is claming emotional physical mental and economical abuse.

 

 

I want her gone so i can divorce her.

You do not have any say on her permanent status. That's something she can do entirely on her own, as noted above.

If you want her gone, you have to evict her.

She can ask for whatever she wants to leave on her own free will. Your decision if $3000 is worth not dealing with it...it very well might be.

 

You can divorce her whether she leaves on her own or not. Those are separate issues.

Edited February 7, 2020 by geowrian

[kimme79 42]

4 minutes ago, geowrian said:

VAWA for what exactly? She has a green card already. VAWA doesn't apply. I don't think she thought this through.

She has her 2 year temporary green card.  Not her permanent resident card.  I will be filing for divorce at the 1 year mark of our marriage.  I cannot do it any sooner because, she still live here in my apartment and North Carolina requires 1 year separation.

 

 

i think this has been her plan all along.  i consider this marriage fraud with the number of times she has left me.  I want her evicted from the home.

Edited February 7, 2020 by kimme79

[portorusa 431]

OP, do you have a place to stay at temporarily? Like, relatives or friends...while you are divorcing her, it’s better to be separated.

[kimme79 42]

2 minutes ago, portorusa said:

OP, do you have a place to stay at temporarily? Like, relatives or friends...while you are divorcing her, it’s better to be separated.

i left the home sunday.  I have visitation with my children this comming weekend.  That is the reason i have left the home.  I need to evict her.  But i do not know if that is the right move for me right now.  As it is, she already called the cops on me yesterday Feb 6th.  I dont want another repeat of this.  I can leave again on Sunday when my children are gone.  But in the mean time i have to deal with this issue.  

[kimme79 42]

If i had the money i would pay for her to leave.  I do not at this time.   

[usmsbow 801]

4 minutes ago, kimme79 said:

She has her 2 year temporary green card.  Not her permanent resident card.  I will be filing for divorce at the 1 year mark of our marriage.  I cannot do it any sooner because, she still live here in my apartment and North Carolina requires 1 year separation.

 

 

i think this has been her plan all along.  i consider this marriage fraud with the number of times she has left me.  I want her evicted from the home.

 

You didn't read the next paragraph geowrian wrote (bold is mine):

 

9 minutes ago, geowrian said:

 

 

She can do ROC with an abuse waiver if desired, but it would not be to her benefit as the divorce waiver is much easier. Showing a divorce + bona fide marriage is easier than showing abuse + bona fide marriage...a divorce just needs a decree whereby abuse needs a decent amount of documentation.

 

 

 

If she wants to stay in the USA, the easiest path for her is to just divorce you and file for ROC with a divorce waiver. People do it all the time with no problem. So your wife is not being very strategic if her #1 goal is just to stay and live in the USA. 

 

 

 

 

[kimme79 42]

1 minute ago, usmsbow said:

 

You didn't read the next paragraph geowrian wrote (bold is mine):

 

 

If she wants to stay in the USA, the easiest path for her is to just divorce you and file for ROC with a divorce waiver. People do it all the time with no problem. So your wife is not being very strategic if her #1 goal is just to stay and live in the USA. 

 

 

 

 

She told me tonight that she is not going back to Colombia even though i offered her a ride back home.  Let me deal with the divorce and she can leave.  She refuses to leave the apartment because she says she has nowhere to go.

 

Her plan is now to remain in the USA.  Which is fine by me.  I want nothing to do with her.

[geowrian 22,337]

9 minutes ago, kimme79 said:

She has her 2 year temporary green card.  Not her permanent resident card.  I will be filing for divorce at the 1 year mark of our marriage.  I cannot do it any sooner because, she still live here in my apartment and North Carolina requires 1 year separation.

Both are permanent resident cards. Neither is "temporary". One is conditional and one is unconditional.

VAWA does not apply to removing conditions. Abuse does, but again, it very likely is not to her benefit to attempt that route when divorce is much simpler.

I think she's thinking she can show abuse to get out of ROC, but that's not how it works. She needs to show both abuse + all the normal things anybody else doing ROC does.

 

9 minutes ago, kimme79 said:

i think this has been her plan all along.  i consider this marriage fraud with the number of times she has left me.  I want her evicted from the home.

She will have to prove her case that she entered the marriage in good faith when ROC comes. That's something she can do on her own - you would have no involvement in the process if she goes either the divorce or abuse waiver route.

Best thing you can do is stay safe, protect yourself, start the divorce process, and move on. Her immigration status or process is no longer your concern.

Arguably it's better for her to just ROC then naturalize, as that gets you off the hook for the I-864. Trying to derail her process would likely just put you on the hook longer.

 

If you want her gone against her will, you have to evict her. The sooner you start the process, the sooner it will proceed.

Seek a good divorce attorney to protect yourself.

[kimme79 42]

Ok Got it.  I will push for the eviction.  I will file for the Divorce after the date of Marriage which was 30 March of 2019.   I do not know what will come from the rest, but i think i have a good enough incling of what is going to happen.  I just want her gone.

[Timona 4,207]

She wants $3000 before she moves? Document this just in case. But this sounds like blackmail.  Rest assured, she'll take the money and ask for more tomorrow. 

NC requires 1 year separation before divorce? Why then wait for your 1 year anniversary? Does it add better stats to your plate? The answer is NO. The sooner you file for divorce,  the earlier this process gets finished. I'll file for it in the morning and just chill quietly. Another option is to move to another state eg Texas. Be a resident for 6 months then file. Divorce here is 60 days. That saves you 3/4 months compared to NC. I know you've mentioned you have kids. They can stay with their mom for the 8 months that you're out. You can still visit them anyway. 

Why care about her at this point like where she stays? She clearly doesn't care about you as she's already called the cops. And with her throwing VAWA around, seems she was well coached in this sector. 

Summary:

1. File for divorce in the morning so that the one year separation period starts. Then move to another apartment. 

2. Move to another state eg Texas as reasoned above. Some VJ member did it a while back. 

3. Regardless of 1 and 2 above, I would move out of that house ASAP now that she's started mentioning VAWA. Seems like she doesn't have your best interests at heart. You risk loosing more staying with her. What happens if tomorrow she cuts herself and claims it's you? 

4. I wouldn't dare evict her. Some state laws may play against you. Rather, I'd just pack my stuff while she's out and peace out - easier option. On my way out, I'll cancel the lease by agreeing to pay in advance to break it. As soon as I'm way far, I'd just send her notice saying she has upto a certain date to vacate the apartment or if she doesn't want to, she can go to the leasing office and make an arrangement with them to continue staying there, albeit on her own. 

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by Timona

[Timona 4,207]

Judging from your post history, you've been going through this since July of 2019 and immediately upon her landing here. Clearly, you're seeing nothing has changed for the better. Infact, the opposite had happened. She's now calling the cops.

Right from day one, she seemed to have been a step ahead of you. Maybe if you do a little investigation, which is pointless at this point anyway, you'd find her cards hidden somewhere. Why you didn't pull the I-864 as was advised is beyond us and was your decision. Nonetheless, it's time to call it a day. Don't invite unnecessary headaches to yourself. Your kids need you. 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

2 hours ago, kimme79 said:

  She refuses to leave the apartment because she says she has nowhere to go.

 

Her plan is now to remain in the USA.  Which is fine by me.  I want nothing to do with her.

Ensure legally seperated is filed with the courts or whoever it’s done with

 

shes not on the lease, give notice to your land lord (don’t need her ok if not on the lease) and move out, you don’t need her permission to do that.. from there she’s on her own, she has a green card and can find her own apartment 

 

the request for $3k is blackmail and not legal in its own right.. from here, I recommend you document everything, keep a diary of anything and everything she demands or says/does out of the ordinary 

Edited February 7, 2020 by Duke & Marie

[NikLR 13,227]

You really need to learn to listen to advice this time. 

We understand you don't want her in your life. People are making recommendations to help you.  I highly suggest that you listen this time.  I dont even know why you're waiting to file the divorce.  The sooner you get your seperation recorded the better.  Find a new apartment. Give notice and move asap.  Stop trying to get her evicted and just leave.