K1 spouse kinda desperate - may need advise/help

[Timona 4,207]

You said you already have a job in IT. Then you can live alone. If you don't have the money right now, save up during February and while at it, visit apartment.com and look for a place to move into starting March or April. Then you can start building your American life as you claim you want to. Or are you scared to live alone?

 

Why are your sleeping on the floor yet you can afford to buy your own bed/ be your own boss in your own apartment? Think wisely. Maybe when you move out, she'll come to her senses and change for the better because her phone games will not be paying bills.

 

And remember, as you've said "funds are running low," the more you stay, the more they'll run low. So I'd rather not see it go that deep. 

 

Others have covered your other questions succinctly. 

[bobbybob 0]

Okay thanks to everyone...

Curious what's gonna happen

1 minute ago, Timona said:

You said you already have a job in IT. Then you can live alone. If you don't have the money right now, save up during February and while at it, visit apartment.com and look for a place to move into starting March or April. Then you can start building your American life as you claim you want to. Or are you scared to live alone?

 

Why are your sleeping on the floor yet you can afford to buy your own bed/ be your own boss in your own apartment? Think wisely. Maybe when you move out, she'll come to her senses and change for the better because her phone games will not be paying bills.

 

And remember, as you've said "funds are running low," the more you stay, the more they'll run low. So I'd rather not see it go that deep. 

 

Others have covered your other questions succinctly. 

I do not have a job right now.. sorry when I said it wrong bc of language.

[Timona 4,207]

Just now, shizo83 said:

Okay thanks to everyone...

Curious what's gonna happen

 

Nothing is going to happen to you. You think too much. Or is there really some "goooooooood" reason why you're still there? You know what I mean. Mmm??🤨🤨

 

 

[Georgia16 2,858]

Have you guys thought of marriage counseling??

[Timona 4,207]

2 minutes ago, shizo83 said:

Okay thanks to everyone...

Curious what's gonna happen

I do not have a job right now.. sorry when I said it wrong bc of language.

 

Get a job a hourly job. This together with the little funds, will keep you afloat. Remember, these little fund are going to be depleted quickly if you're using it to support 2 people. As a result, you'll be hitting "struggling phase" pretty quickly.  However, should you channel it to yourself while job hunting, it will keep you afloat for a while. 

 

To encourage you. I'll tell you what you can do as I have been through the "No job phase recently."

 

1. Get the hourly job. This is your support as you go through the below steps.

2. Put your resume together. Post it on Glassdoor, indeed and Monster. 

3. Start applying to jobs on Glassdoor and indeed, daily. I trust Glassdoor. 

4. Get in touch with recruiters. I came to find out that they are a big help because some HR don't look at applications.

5. Start a LinkedIn. Though this won't be effective to you as much as you don't have a network here. Nonetheless, LinkedIn posts jobs sometimes. So you can apply to those jobs. 

 

On a brighter note, if you do the above, you should pretty much start getting calls. This is because companies are massively hiring at the start of the year. I have recieved more calls and interviews this January than last year. Though I already have a job, I pick them up and see what they have to offer. Should you need any help, feel free to PM.

 

[Timona 4,207]

23 minutes ago, Timona said:

 

Nothing is going to happen to you. You think too much. Or is there really some "goooooooood" reason why you're still there? You know what I mean. Mmm??🤨🤨

 

 

 

As a guy, I was just messing around with the OP. Nothing much. Heheheh hopefully I made his day. 

[bobbybob 0]

1 hour ago, Timona said:

Naaa, if i'd have a job.. I could help myself ways better

I do not have a job right now.. sorry when I said it wrong bc of language.

[Highmystic 234]

3 hours ago, shizo83 said:

like I said.. I more need options/ideas when ***** hits the fan..

I want to work this out.. I am sure not always an angel.

And it's not all bad... but fights are getting more and more really nasty

 

You stated that you are paying her money on a monthly basis, and she has a job, you mentioned office.  Perhaps, to protect yourself, open another checking account in your own name, and put your savings or whatever in to it, and get a bit of a nest egg saved, so if and when you and her split,  you have some back up money for support yourself for awhile.  I assume this is not a "rich" situation, so if the two of you split,  it would mostly be on "irreconcilable " basis, some call it "no fault", and she will not be hiring expensive lawyers to do an asset investigation to see if you have secret bank accounts with a few hundred bucks in it. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

*** Friendly reminder that inappropriate language is not allowed in the forum.

 

VJ Moderation 

[igoyougoduke 1,656]

1 hour ago, shizo83 said:

I do not have a job right now.. sorry when I said it wrong bc of language.

You have no job but you are paying your wife money.  May be  you can ask that money source to  pay you. just thinking of ideas here 

Edited February 7, 2020 by Donald120383

[Amadia 711]

I've read all of the responses and kudos to the members who have the patience 🙌

 

From the short story, it does not sound like she will be helping you adjust status after the conditional green card expires. Others said it best - divorce and move on....no reason to stay in this and be stressed out since you can apply for ROC with a divorce waiver.

 

Your situation sounds like you both getting together was not well thought out. She sound like the type of person who enjoyed your money from afar. It's times like this when you sit back and assess your life and where you wanna be because it ain't gonna be with her for too much longer from the look of things.

Nonetheless, being in IT is a great career (I know, I'm in IT). There are many free IT certifications that you can complete online and you get tested on the subject matter which you have the option to purchase your certificate if you pass and get certified in that subject. That looks like a great place to start because you would begin developing yourself for greater things than just being a frustrated husband to an uncaring woman.

 

[JFH 12,190]

*~*~*moved from “Moving to the US” to “effects of major changes” where similar topics are discussed*~*~*

[African Zealot 1,455]

If you claim any benefits when/if she kicks you out, she (or your financial sponsor) may have to pay it back.

 

That said, if she kicks you out your immediate options are the same as everyone else, crash with a generous friend, rent an apartment, get a hotel room, go to a shelter, return to Switzerland, or sleep under a bridge.

 

Although she’s financially responsible for you, it’s indirectly meaning you cannot collect money for living expenses from her per se. You will claim benefits and then government will surcharge her. Or you can go to court, however those options won’t address your immediate needs ie housing, food, etc. They take time to process

[Boiler 45,537]

Begs the question what benefits a single male who can work could claim?

[Beth & Achraf 328]

14 hours ago, shizo83 said:

Greetings to everybody

 

Long story short... I came from Switzerland for a women.. Visa got approved and I moved from switzerland to the USA in May 19.. I love her... I still do... but I don't feel like she loves me the same anymore.. Before you bomb me with greencard (removed).. like I said.. I am from Switzerland.. made over 85k CHF (more or less same as in the U.S) per year.. supported her since July 18 with 1'500/month (and still support her since May 19 with now 2k from my retirement swiss money) so she did not lose the house for her/us/ and her kids she has.

I literally screw up my life in Switzerland for her, made debts to support her...

 

So my question is.. if I can't take it anymore.. or she can't take me anymore.. what are my options?

I know she signed a paper that says that she is responsible for me for 10 years in the U.S...

 

But what are my options when (removed) hits the fan?

I feel slowly like I have to protect myself and to inform me.. won't give up asap.... but I want to be prepared.

I want to build up my life in the U.S again.. with her or without... sure rather with her... 

Please don't get a wrong picture of me..  just as example: I sent her flowers like monthly from Switzerland  to her home or to her office for anniversary's .. still do it between even when money is short.. but she rather plays the game on her phone were we met,than be happy to spend time together without the phone.

 

Thanks and regards

Silly question, but here it goes.  Have you ever sat her down and ask her what is going on with her, with her and you, with you , her and the marriage-future?

 

Once she answers, you will have all the answers you need to do what will come.   Life is to short to jumping through hoops to make a person happy for one who don't appreciate it.