Loose and Lose

[Nessa 23]

i have heard that English is one of the more difficult languages to learn because we have so many silent letters etc....

I've heard quite the opposite, it's one of the easiest because you have one word that means several things. German language, portuguese language for example everything has a different word.

[Marilyn. 340]

i have heard that English is one of the more difficult languages to learn because we have so many silent letters etc....

I've heard quite the opposite, it's one of the easiest because you have one word that means several things. German language, portuguese language for example everything has a different word.

I mean spelling wise...

[Marilyn. 340]

REASONS WHY The English language is so hard to learn.

1) The alphabet was created for languages with five vowels, while English has sixteen.

2) The history of English is complicated, is because it incorporates spelling patterns from several different languages. Look to Irish American Vernacular English and also see examples from First Nation languages.

As a result you can appreciate the confusion below.

This is passed on by a linguist, original author unknown.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible? And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? English is a silly language --- it doesn't know if it is coming or going.

http://www.edu-cyberpg.com/Literacy/reading.asp

Edited June 14, 2007 by MarilynP

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Corruption or bastardization is a way of referring to certain changes in a language. The most common way that a word can be said to be corrupted is the change of its spelling through errors and gradual changes in comprehension, transcription, and hearing. This is especially common with words borrowed from another language.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_(linguistics)

bastardization does not been it has been abused it just means it has changed..... and Yes America has basderdized the english language and it has become American English..... there is a diffrence..

Kez

Ironically, you used the American spelling of bastardization. Being English I'll stick to bastardisation.

j/k

Put it down to me being Scottish and american english rubbing off on me......

Kez

[payxibka 10,045]

If Pro is the opposite of Con then Progress is the opposite of Congress

[Marilyn. 340]

Why English Is Hard To Learn (anonymous)

We'll begin with box; the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose is never called meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;

But the plural of house is houses, not hice.

The plural of man is always men,

But the plural of pan is never pen.

If I speak of a foot, and you show me two feet,

And I give you a book, would a pair be a beek?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't two booths be called beeth?

If the singular's this and the plural is these,

Should the plural of kiss be ever called keese?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him;

But imagine the feminine... she, shis, and shim!

http://www.rajeun.net/index3.html

*******************************************

An Ode Two the Spelling Chequer

Prays the Lord for the spelling chequer

That came with our pea sea!

Mecca mistake and it puts you rite

Its so easy to ewes, you sea.

I never used to no, was it e before eye?

(Four sometimes its eye before e.)

But now I've discovered the quay to success

It's as simple as won, too, free!

Sew watt if you lose a letter or too,

The whirled won't come two an end!

Can't you sea? It's as plane as the knows on yore face

S. Chequer's my very best friend

I've always had trubble with letters that double

"Is it one or to S's?" I'd wine

But now, as I've tolled you this chequer is grate

And its hi thyme you got won, like mine.

—Janet E. Byford

http://www.rajeun.net/spellchecquer.html

*******************************************

A Candidate for a Pullet Surprise

by Jerrold H. Zar

I have a spelling checker,

It came with my PC.

It plane lee marks four my revue

Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,

Your sure reel glad two no.

Its vary polished in it's weigh.

My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

It helps me right awl stiles two reed,

And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

The checker pours o'er every word

To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checker's

Hour spelling mite decline,

And if we're lacks oar have a laps,

We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling

Is checked with such grate flare,

Their are know fault's with in my cite,

Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,

It does knot bring a tier.

My pay purrs awl due glad den

With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet

Of witch won should bee proud,

And wee mussed dew the best wee can,

Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays

Such soft wear four pea seas,

And why eye brake in two averse

Buy righting want too pleas.

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/ode-spel.htm

Edited June 14, 2007 by MarilynP

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Ask folks in Quebec if all dialects of French are the same. By the way, check out the spelling of dialog from the great white north.

Because the French-language version of the movie now on Quebec screens was dubbed in France, Quebecers have trouble following the dialogue. It is one example among many that led politicians in Quebec City last week to call for a law obliging the major Hollywood studios to dub their movies in Quebec, using Quebec actors. In an interesting twist on Quebec's age-old language debate, the fight is not against English but against the often incomprehensible dialect spoken in mother France.

If Pro is the opposite of Con then Progress is the opposite of Congress

Amen!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

REASONS WHY The English language is so hard to learn.

1) The alphabet was created for languages with five vowels, while English has sixteen.

2) The history of English is complicated, is because it incorporates spelling patterns from several different languages. Look to Irish American Vernacular English and also see examples from First Nation languages.

As a result you can appreciate the confusion below.

This is passed on by a linguist, original author unknown.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible? And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? English is a silly language --- it doesn't know if it is coming or going.

http://www.edu-cyberpg.com/Literacy/reading.asp

That's awesome, Marilyn!

[Marilyn. 340]

A plan for the improvement of spelling in the English language

By Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Generally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeiniing voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x"— bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez —tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivili.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev alojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

http://www.plainlanguage.gov/examples/humor/marktwain.cfm

Edited June 14, 2007 by MarilynP

[Ladylethal 12]

I always heard English is good as the universal language 'cus it's the easiest language to learn. I read that polish is the toughest one to learn, as well as any latin based language, and also dutch.

[Marilyn. 340]

sorry I can't help myself

Thought this might be interesting....

Words that could be confusing and embarrassing in the UK & US

The complete list is HERE

1) Buns. You know what these are. You're probably sitting on them now. Over here buns are either bread or cake rolls. Asking for a couple of sticky buns in a bakery here will mean Mr. Crusty the baker will give you two cake buns with icing (frosting) on the top. If I went into a deli in Manhattan and asked for a couple of sticky buns I'd probably get arrested...

4) Pants. You call pants what we call trousers; pants are the things that go underneath.

5) Rubber. In this country a pencil eraser. Don't be shocked if the mild mannered new Englishman in your office asks for a pencil with a rubber on the end. Especially when he says that he enjoys chewing it when he is thinking.

6) Sh*t. To us, bodily waste. To you, practically everything as far as I could figure, good or bad (and you certainly don't want us to touch yours...)

7) Fanny. To us the front bottom; to you the back one. In Britain, the fanny pack is known as a bum bag for obvious reasons...

10) Pissed. To you it's quite legal to be pissed in a car in a traffic jam. In fact, in large cities sometimes you cannot help it. For us, it means that you have been over doing it 'down the boozer' (pub) and a kindly policeman will shortly flag you down and arrest you.

12) Fancy. To be sexually attracted to or to desire. Also a tea cake.

18) Some food differences

English American

------------------------

courgette zucchini

mars bar milky way

milky way three musketeers

opal fruits starburst

chips french fries

crisps chips

19) 'Knock you up'. In our country, to wake someone up in the morning so they won't be late. Slightly different meaning for our American cousins...

20) Pastie. A pastie is a meat and potato pastry that originates from Cornwall, UK. In the guidebook I had for Michigan, it

mentioned that some cornish tin miners had come over and brought over the recipe with them when they settled the Upper Peninsula. Even so, I had to taken aside and carefully told what an American pastie was so I wouldn't embarrass parents in front of children at the summer camp I was working at when I was talking about my liking for Cornish Pasties...

21) Knackered. I'm not sure if you have this word in the US. When I said I was knackered I got puzzled looks. It means you are tired. It comes from the fact that horses are often tired when they have testes removed (their knackers) when they are castrated. (Sorry! I guess you didn't want to know that...)

25) Woody. In the UK, an acceptable description of a wine that has taken on the flavour of the barrels it has matured in. In the US *never* go a wine tasting and claim that this wonderful Californian Chardonnay has an excellent 'woody' flavour, unless you are the female co-star of the aforementioned male actor and you are in the process of filming an 'arty' movie.

26) Hood. To our American cousins, the bit of a car that the engine sits under or place where you might live if you are a rapper. To us Brits, the part of a coat that is designed to cover your head when it rains. What you call the 'hood' we call the 'bonnet' on a car.

34) Cookies. You eat these with milk and with great self control you only eat two at a time (you don't? naughty!). We call them biscuits. You call biscuits those dry crackery things that might go in soup (or at least in the part of the US I went to).

37) Aluminium. Over here we say 'al-u-min-i-um'. You say 'aloom-i-num'. Neither nation can spell the word....

(Aluminiumiumium?)

39) English Swear Words. Our chums across the Atlantic should be warned about the following. If some English bloke comes up to you and uses one or more of them when addressing you, please be careful. He may not be friendly...

i) Wanker. A charming little word that implies that the addresser is accusing the addressee of onanism. Usually accompanied by the coital f-word and the oedipal compound-noun. The addresser may also raise his right hand and portray a chillingly accurate portrayal of the act in question...

ii) Bollocks. The round male dangly bits. Also, saying 'the dog's bollocks' is akin to stating 'this is the sh*t' in the US. Not to be confused in agricultural circles with 'bullocks' which are bull shaped and go 'moo!'.

iii) Nancy boy. A male who may express either a sexual preference for his own gender or acts in a less than masculine way.

iv) Spanner. Not only a component of every good mechanic's toolbox (see below) but also someone not overly blessed with intelligence or savoir faire. A geek, nerd, dork or a dweeb in other words.

v) #######. See 'wanker' and then use your imagination... Also tosspot.

vi) Slag. A woman of uncertain worth and reliability. Also used in English 1970s police shows (e.g. The Sweeney) when describing a notorious criminal. (e.g. Dosser Jenkins? That slaaaaag!). Originally used to describe a by-product of the (now sadly nearly defunct) coal mining industry.

vii) Wanger. Many a Saturday night I have heard this word being shouted by rival groups of young men at each other. The dulcit cries of 'Oi Wanger!!' have disturbed the peace of many a town centre. It is a word used to either describe a ####### or an attempt by the alcoholically challenged to say 'wanker'.

viii) Plonker. Another willy euphenism. Immortalised in the TV program 'Only Fools and Horses', starring David Jason & Nicholas Lyndhurst -- 'You plonker Rodney!'.

ix) Naff off. Go away. As used by the Princess Royal, Princess Anne. For a while she was known as the 'Naff Off Princess' in the tabloid press.

x) Wazzock -- a fool or idiot.

Strange fact: British males often use wanker, #######, #######, plonker, etc, as terms of endearment.

46) Knickers. A similar problem to 'pants' (cv). In the US they are knee-length trousers like what the Brits call 'breeches'. In the UK, they are the things that go underneath. Typically British men wear pants under their trousers and women wear knickers, unless of course, you are a Tory (Conservative) MP and then anything goes... Also NORWICH was an acronym used by service personel during WWII for '(k)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home'. To be on the safe side when visiting the doctors it's best to keep your pants/knickers on...

52) Snogging. You know that thing you do when you are with your loved one when you tickle each others tonsils? In the UK that's called snogging. Much beloved of kids at school discos inbetween swigging illicit bottles of vodka and Special Brew beer and 'getting on down' to Take That (screaaaaammmmm!) (popular beat combo in the UK much admired by girlies).

58) Waste disposal. In the UK our household waste is called 'rubbish' and is taken away by the dustmen or bin men in their dustcart. In the US you have two types of household waste -- garbage and trash. Also, you see that piece of street furniture which you are supposed to put the packaging from your lunch? We call them bins; you call then trash cans. I was sooo confused about this.

61) Please and sorry. In the UK, no sentence is complete with either or even both of these words. In the US, the former is said begrudgedly and 'What's the name of your lawyer?' is said instead of the latter.

63) Women's things. Pads = US. Towels = UK. Tampons = everywhere. Do you have the ones with wings too? Do you have a patronising Clare Rayner-type who does the advert?

67) Pardon. As I said before, being sorry is all part of being English. We apologise for things that aren't our fault again and again and again. I am convinced that the first word that an English baby learns to say after 'Mama' and 'Dada' is 'sorry'. Anyway, 'pardon me' is a polite way of excusing your way through a crowd or excusing yourself or if your bodily functions betray you in public. The US equivalent, 'excuse me' only seems to be used in a sarcastic way, i.e. 'Well excuuuuuse me!' while exchanging lawyers' telephone numbers.

69) Irony. Along with sarcasm, the basis of English humour. Totally lost on most of our American chums. Saying '...NOT!' is not sarcasm.

84) Banger. Three meanings in the UK: a sausage, an old car well past it's prime and a small firework that makes a loud noise. If you were repulsed by the idea of eating a faggot (cv), the British banger would really make your stomach turn since it makes even a Taco Bell meal look like it contains high quality meat. The Tabloid press seem to think that the European Economic Community (the UK is a rather reluctant member) wants to ban the British Banger. WRONG!

They just want to reduce the breadcrumb, eyes and goolies (male genitals) content and put meat in instead...

97) Z. The twenty sixth letter of the alphabet. You call it 'Zee'; we call it 'Zed'. A whole generation in England has had to relearn the alphabet after hearing the 'Alphabet song' on Sesame Street. Sadder still, the song doesn't rhyme with the English 'Zed'. At least the 'Numbers song' works (1-2-3-4-5, 6-7-8-9-10, 11-12, do do-do do-do do-do do etc etc...)

Edited June 14, 2007 by MarilynP

[SteveLaura 0]

My pet peeves:

Should of - instead of - should have

A couple beers - instead of - a couple of beers

I maybe late - instead of - I may be late

And surely someone has already mentioned the infamous VJ spelling of 'rediculous'??

PS. Opal Fruits changed their name to Starburst a few years ago, alas. They went the way of the Marathon.

[featherB 1]

My pet peeves:

Should of - instead of - should have

A couple beers - instead of - a couple of beers

I maybe late - instead of - I may be late

And surely someone has already mentioned the infamous VJ spelling of 'rediculous'??

PS. Opal Fruits changed their name to Starburst a few years ago, alas. They went the way of the Marathon.

Look what I found the other day, though (in a shop in Cincinnati)... I had to buy it, just for the name! (Oh... and are US Milky Ways really the same as UK Mars Bars? I didn't know that!)

[PlatyPius 5]

You say there is no excuse for native english speakers to have bad grammer.... does that include people who are dislexic..... and there are many words that are spelt diffrently here in America than they are in England so who is right??? the British, where the language came from or the Americans who have bastardized it???

Kez

Given the attitude that British English is correct and American English is wrong, I chuckled at the irony....

"You say there is no excuse for native english speakers to have bad grammer.... does that include people who are dislexic..... and there are many words that are spelt diffrently here in America than they are in England(,) so who is right??? the British, where the language came from or the Americans who have bastardized it???"

[homesick_american 1]

Corruption or bastardization is a way of referring to certain changes in a language. The most common way that a word can be said to be corrupted is the change of its spelling through errors and gradual changes in comprehension, transcription, and hearing. This is especially common with words borrowed from another language.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_(linguistics)

bastardization does not been it has been abused it just means it has changed..... and Yes America has basderdized the english language and it has become American English..... there is a diffrence..

Kez

Ironically, you used the American spelling of bastardization. Being English I'll stick to bastardisation.

j/k

Didn't want to point that out, I thought Kez had embarrassed herself enough already...but BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!