A bit angry

[tom&tata 2]

You just piss me off..

You are so weak.. do you know how lucky you are to even get here legally.. that is very ungrateful!!! I feel sorry for your spouse..

You should of thought about all this before coming here, and you know you had plenty time! stop being so weak and get your s#t together..!!

Loye ya

Jackie

Ok that was a bit too mean, i dont think we need to be name calling and degrading the OP. This was way out of line.

I third that. Different people reacts differently to change in life.

I feel sorry for the OP to feel "restricted" in trying to adjust to the new place. Good luck to the OP. As other posts says, talk to your spouse. Granted, they could not understand the what you are going through right away, but make them understand your feeling.

[JoeMama 0]

I feel sorry for the OP to feel "restricted" in trying to adjust to the new place. Good luck to the OP. As other posts says, talk to your spouse. Granted, they could not understand the what you are going through right away, but make them understand your feeling.

I agree. The first step is that she should talk with her husband about all of it. He may not be aware or anticipated what the change was going to be like for her. I've heard of this happening quite often. Nothing can be done to make it better until something is said.

[Nancy2015 2]

in the meantime, make the most of it. get a netflix account, watch some movies and such. sharpen your english skills.

That's a wonderful advice.

[ivona 0]

Are you guys kidding me?

The OP is saying that her not getting a DL is a violation of human rights.... there are many violations of human rights in the US- asking for due process to be followed when applying for documents is not one of them....

[isleta521 5]

A DL is a privledge and can be taken away if abused

[homesick_american 1]

Are you guys kidding me?

The OP is saying that her not getting a DL is a violation of human rights.... there are many violations of human rights in the US- asking for due process to be followed when applying for documents is not one of them....

A DL isn't a right anyway, it's a privilege. She needs to GTFU.

[rob&ana 0]

Ieva:

I am from the Pittsburgh area, and even though I am not for Latvia or Russia or Ukranian, I can understand what you’re going through. It gets very frustrating, and you’re right, it’s a shock when you move to the US, for a while I thought I had become invisible, I thought I was no-one, and that got me angry, specially if your situation before coming to the US was good. Like in a very good job, your own car, your own bank accounts, your own home, your own friends. I knew the language before coming here, but frankly, having to listen to people talking in English the whole day, gave me headaches. On Sundays when we went to have dinner at my mother’s in law, I came back exhausted because I had to speak and listen to everyone speaking English.

But going back to your problem, Pittsburgh is a city of immigrants, certainly not recent ones, but it was built by the immigrants that worked on the Steel Mills, there are areas of the city (South Side for example), that used to be immigrant communities, from the former Soviet Union. There used to be churches specific for each group, where mass would be said in their specific languages. There are still some ‘clubs’ for specific groups. I don’t know if there are any specific groups for Latvia, but as other have mentioned, try to reach to whatever is closer to Latvia, being it the Ukranians or Russians (I have absolutely no idea which would be closer to your language, if at all – but it cant hurt to try).

Which area of Pittsburgh do you live? I would recommend a Community College, for non-credit courses, they shouldn’t require much documentation from you. And you can always tell them your situation, and I am pretty sure they would help (CCAC has campus all over the place – if you’re in Allegheny County).

And lastly, take it from an immigrant, things get better, you get used to the chit-chat in English, and it doesn’t mush your brain anymore, you’ll get your driver’s license (and then you’ll have to deal with this weird city where if you miss your exit you better start praying to find your way back to where you were supposed to be), and then when you start driving, you’ll be SO thrilled to make it from point A to point B (thanks yahoo maps!!), you’ll find a job and you’ll meet people. Will this people be your ‘friends’? I don’t know about that, I’ve met really nice people, I’d say I have incipient friendships, I don’t feel so open or close to them, because I left all my ‘real’ friends back home, but then again, I was there for 30 some years, and I’ve only been here for almost 2. Things do get better, eventually… In a year I was able to buy a brand new car (with credit on my own name), I was able to purchase my very first home (with credit on my own name – hubby’s isn’t too great – and it’s and FHA mortgage), and I feel more confident driving around town…

So, be patient, I know it’s friggin’ hard, but eventually, there’s light at the end of the tunnel…

Ana

PS: If it is of any help, maybe some day we can get together to go have coffee, ice cream… or do something… let me know if you’re interested.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Geez! I'm surprised by all the negative, even mean-spirited responses to someone who is clearly in an existential funk. Give her a break! The U.S. is a great place in many ways, but far from perfect. For some people, even suggesting that the U.S. has gotten a few things wrong can get people slinging mud and shouting, "Disloyal American!" [or immigrant] I thought that "love it or leave it" went out of style during Vietnam.

Some less judgmental posters have given some good advice, but when you're in a period of major adjustment, accompanied by what sounds like depression, and dealing with a highly complicated immigration process, things seem impossible. Fortunately, I've never been clinically depressed, but I'm close to people who have, and it can be debilitating. It's also tough for people around them, who can't understand why they can't get it together, count their blessings, and get on with it. For many people, it's not that easy. Even with a supportive spouse, adjusting to a new environment, much less a new country, is a real challenge.

For people who have been here for a while, it's easy to forget how much confidence, ambition, motivation--and, I'll say it, balls--it takes to go out and meet people, especially if you're not terribly confident with your language skills. I am American but have lived abroad, and it can be daunting. In fact, even when I moved within the U.S. to a new state, the first few months were rough. It takes a while to establish a "life," and the period before that really starts happening can be terribly lonely and difficult. When things don't seem to be working out, it doesn't take long before despair can set in.

Ieva, hang in there. Things will improve. Try to think of this part of your life as one big adventure. The vast majority of people never leave their home continents, and you've moved to a whole new country. Sometimes people get so bogged down in the minutiae of the process that they don't appreciate the wild turns that their lives have taken. This is a bit of a tangent, but my husband (who is from England) and I went up to Oregon for a wedding the weekend before last. It was great fun, and at the reception, he had a good beer buzz on. I caught sight of him sitting there with a goofy grin on his face. When I asked him why he was smiling, he said something like, "I was just thinking about the crazy series of events that led me here--sitting in someone's back yard in the northwestern U.S., listening to an Oregonian hippie drum circle, drinking Portland beer. If you'd told me four years ago that this would be my life, I would have said you were nuts." I think that the "how did I end up here?" moments (good ones, that is) are what life's all about.

I'd meet Ana for ice cream. She sounds like a cool chick.

And your English sounds pretty good to me!

Julie

[Jenn! 918]

For some people, even suggesting that the U.S. has gotten a few things wrong can get people slinging mud and shouting, "Disloyal American!" [or immigrant] I thought that "love it or leave it" went out of style during Vietnam.

Apparently it's back in. Dig?

[Leney 0]

It does not fill me with joy that you are also in Pennsylvania.

[Nancy2015 2]

whatever is closer to Latvia, being it the Ukranians or Russians

Latvia is as different from Ukraine or Russia as Venezuela is different from Hungary. Nothing in common. Nothing whatsoever. Different ethnicity, different language, different culture.

[Oath 0]

There are plenty of things you can do while waiting on a work permit, SS or whatever, go find it and stop whining.

[Twomoles 8]

Have you ever get so down and so angry, that you just want to release your steam, or someone to listen? Its what i did. There is certain things lately what wasn't going so well, so I cant see light in the end in tunnel.

Yes, America is nice place (But my country is and will be always nicer for me) , but any place you are not free, you will start to hate, anything what is pushed gives reaction back. There is good and bad everywhere, but mother country is only one.

Yes it is hard to make friends, and when you get something you hang to it like its your last hope. It was with our English class, my teacher quite job, and we have summer break. After our good buy dinner all I could do I could cry like crazy, i never new this meant so much to me being here. . Am I only one? I know girlhas already ritual to pack bags every week, I know people who don't talk for days, sometimes all I want to do is just swear in my language. No I am not and never was before some emotionally weak and crazy person. Hopefully school things will be ok so I can go there in fall, its my biggest wish now, what keeps me going. Maybe.

I have very good husband, but I don't want to burden him with the same old stuff, why should I upset him so much. And by the way, we Europe north people are not big in talking and sharing emotions. People here sometimes understand things different. We have a neighbor we go sometimes, and once he said to my spouse, she never said she miss her family, something is not ok with her. Does it makes me more missing or better person if i go around moaning and saying stories, its how they judge. They believe what they hear, not that there is underlines. But when steam comes out, they see this only as confirmation about what they thought before.

Latvia has nothing to do nor in language, nor in anything with countries here named before. We don't even use the same alphabet. Its like I woulds say someone from Chine to get in UK topic.

You cant really compare better life, worse life. Yes, in some money ways I was counting more, anyone knows gas prices there is tremendous. . But things is different. Opera tickets and education is much more available. And why someone is happy and someone is not? Because I need more "soul food", then shopping for new clothes and make up and never ending eating. Not even talking about having job and position, living in architecture romantic Riga with my family and friends, what I miss so very much.

I am sorry if things were misunderstood.

I am grateful for all good and supporting words here from all the nice people, it really put smile in my face and cheered up.

For the mean ones - whatever, hope in reality you don't treat people around like this.

[rob&ana 0]

I am sorry to get back to this thread after so many days, but I was browsing through my old threads and saw it again. I just want to say that I understand that Latvia, Ukraine and Russia are different countries. As different as Colombia is from Venezuela, and Brazil from Peru, but they have in common that they are in the same continent. There have to be things in common, either if it’s music or food.

I just talked to a girl from the Ukraine, and she was saying that even though Russians and Ukrainians speak a different language, it was easy for her to communicate with a Russian. My point is that if you wanted to find something in common you would, if you make an effort you probably could understand each other. When I go to Italy, even though they don’t speak Spanish and I don’t speak Italian, some words are similar and I make an effort to understand.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is going to substitute your home country and the love you feel for it, but we’ve made a choice when we decided to move across the world, and with that choice there are consequences. We are going through a process that is often slow, and often infuriating, but like every process it does have an end. You just have to sit tight and weather the storm, and make the best of it, enjoy this time you can’t work (it’s fun sometimes – and you’ll look back to it when you’re working). And there are several things you can do where you don’t have to talk to people, like going to the Zoo, going to the museums (Pittsburgh has many of them).

You’ll be amazed in the future of how things have turned out for you, how difficult it was in the beginning and how you’re handling things now. No one said it was easy, and no one is saying you cant vent, but I will tell you this (because I say it to my self every time I am feeling down)… No one told you that you HAD to come, it was your choice and life is what we make of it, you want to be sad and depressed?, then go a it, you want to have fun?? Then go at it too… see the positive side of things, it always, always help.

[Mrs.J06 4]

I am sorry to get back to this thread after so many days, but I was browsing through my old threads and saw it again. I just want to say that I understand that Latvia, Ukraine and Russia are different countries. As different as Colombia is from Venezuela, and Brazil from Peru, but they have in common that they are in the same continent. There have to be things in common, either if it’s music or food.

I just talked to a girl from the Ukraine, and she was saying that even though Russians and Ukrainians speak a different language, it was easy for her to communicate with a Russian. My point is that if you wanted to find something in common you would, if you make an effort you probably could understand each other. When I go to Italy, even though they don’t speak Spanish and I don’t speak Italian, some words are similar and I make an effort to understand.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is going to substitute your home country and the love you feel for it, but we’ve made a choice when we decided to move across the world, and with that choice there are consequences. We are going through a process that is often slow, and often infuriating, but like every process it does have an end. You just have to sit tight and weather the storm, and make the best of it, enjoy this time you can’t work (it’s fun sometimes – and you’ll look back to it when you’re working). And there are several things you can do where you don’t have to talk to people, like going to the Zoo, going to the museums (Pittsburgh has many of them).

You’ll be amazed in the future of how things have turned out for you, how difficult it was in the beginning and how you’re handling things now. No one said it was easy, and no one is saying you cant vent, but I will tell you this (because I say it to my self every time I am feeling down)… No one told you that you HAD to come, it was your choice and life is what we make of it, you want to be sad and depressed?, then go a it, you want to have fun?? Then go at it too… see the positive side of things, it always, always help.

As always - great post Ana!