A bit angry

[maya62 7]

We have 3 perfectly good bicycles that we got at the exchange shed at the landfill for nothing. There is probably some such source in your area... if not, try yard sales.

How about artwork? What I wouldn't give for a few months off to do nothing but paint, garden, read, surf the net, take a class... There are lots of classes available online now that you can take from the comfort of your home.

Here are a few links I was able to find in about 2 minutes of searching on google:

http://www.latvia-usa.org/latviansinus.html

http://www.fljrk.org/

http://www.latviansonline.com/

http://www.latvia-usa.org/bestlinks.html

As they say, "life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it"

And for the record, my impression from 2.5 years on VJ is that most people here are just trying to spend their lives with the one they love, and not after the almighty greencard for any other reason. Some of us are even a bit ashamed of the US (or at least the govt and some of our fellow voters) in recent years. I for one would rather live in my husband's country. Please don't paint everyone in the immigration community with one brush.

And buck up... get out there and find something constructive to do, and recognize your blessings instead of getting angry about a temporary change of pace!

Best wishes,

Maya

[Marilyn. 340]

I can kind of understand how you are feeling.... It was hard for the first few months (actually it still is kind of hard) I didn't really know anybody down here and I had no way of getting around... So I was basically stuck at home all the time and hubby was working night shift so most of our time together was spent at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning and that was not ideal time to go out and do stuff....

Hubby is working day shift right now so that part is better.... we can go out and do stuff now after he comes home from work but I still really don't know anybody.... his family is nice but they all have their own lives etc... I really have no way of getting around.... I did for awhile but then or other car broke down and it wasn't worth it to fix it....

It gets kind of frustrating when people tell you that you should be grateful that you are with your loved one and life should be perfect... but your whole world gets turned upside down.. you have to leave behind your family and everything you know and yes, I knew all this beforehand but it is still very hard to deal with once it finally happens...

it was really hard when my baby died last year.... I didn't really have anyone to talk to about it.... or anybody to help me through it besides my hubby....., he did the best he could... and a lot of people on VJ did help me a lot but it is not the same as having a real person their to lean on and to give you a hug or do your dishes etc when you really don't feel like doing anything....

none of my family could make it to the funeral.... I felt very alone.... and it didn't help having hubby's sister constantly tell me that she wished she could have held him etc..... she acted like he was her baby and not mine I think she was a little upset that hubby and I said we just wanted to be alone with him after they took him off life support... and then she kept bugging me about going to see him at the funeral home which is something I knew I wouldn't be able to handle... but she was more concerned with herself... sorry, I am going off on a tangent here....

Edited June 14, 2007 by MarilynP

[Sinergy 3]

I felt bad for you at the start, but ppl have given you reall super good advice and you have just shrugged them off as if they were talking to the moon and past you. Everyone goes thru this, and most the ppl on here who have given you advice have gone thru it or are going thru it now. Im sure you had to know when you got here you were not going to be given a magic wand at the POE so that you can make your life the way you dreamt it would be when you landed in america. You have to do it, you make your life the way it is. If you want good in your life, then make it good. If you want to sulk and blame america for all your problems and depression then by all means, go for it.

My husband was a bit displaced and depressed for prolly 2 months when he first got here. it was his first time away from his country and he didnt know what to expect. But he then realised he came here for me and his son. I havent heard him complain one time since then except about how crappy our commercials are. and hes been here a year next month.

And what rights do you need right now anyway? You dont need rights to go to the library, you dont need rights to go for a walk, you dont need rights for much of anything other than leaving the country, and seeing you got here not long ago, im hoping your not ready to fly away right yet.

When you stop blaming the USA on all your problems right now, you will see how much you can do and you will realise you can be happy without having a GC.

Edited June 14, 2007 by Ionescu

[Mrs.J06 4]

From your timeline I take it your I-129 took about three months and your AOS is not even two months old.

Have a little patience with yourself and your new home!

[TracyLuis 0]

I am glad they know me one legal fullish, same as these 11 millions illegal immigrants. Yeah.

I have no idea what this means, but it made me laugh a little

One day at a time....seriously.

[ivona 0]

I don't feel one bit bad for you....

And just to say it first, I actually don't like it here- not as much as I like Europe and Croatia, and IF we could we would move back in a jiffy....but right now that is not a possibility, so guess what you adjust- instead of whining and thinking how bad you have it, you focus on the positive...I know WHY I moved here, for my husband and for my stepson and for our family.

I honestly don't understand what you mean by lack of rights; you say you have less rights here than in countries where you went as a tourist. That is you not possessing basic logical reasoning.

When you visit a country as a tourist the whole point is that you will not stay in that country therefore the only thing the government of the country is interested in documenting your entrance and eventual departure (and I was blessed to be able to travel a lot so I'm talking from experience).

If you move somewhere, going through the legalities before you can get all your documents in order is something you HAVE to go through whereEVER you move, not just US. Who's not allowing you to drive? Go and take a test, if you pass you will be able to drive. In Croatia it will take you 4 motnhs minimum to get it because you have to through two courses and minimum number of driving hours to get it....in Florida, I was in and out in an hour and I had my DL. So who's excactly not allowing you to do this?

Geting work authorization might take a bit longer but you can still participate in a society- volunteer...in a school, in NGOs, in pet shelters. Again, no one is stoping you from this but yourself. Get active in a church, Gods know this is a country with most religious fanatics I have ever been to.

People who whine get no sympathy from me because YOU are the one choosing to whine over how bad you have it, instead of doing something about it. And guess what, you don't have it nearly as bad as you could.

Edited June 14, 2007 by ivona

[Ta Ta 1]

It is ok to vent a little but do not dwell on the negative.

I find that while being in a particular difficult circumstance, it helps to look around you and realize how very blessed you really are.

There is always someone worse off than you. Help out with the poor, a woman's

shelter etc.

Be thankful that you have your man next to you.

My fiance would love to be in your position right now ....we have not seen each

other in over a year and we have been stuck in AP for 6 month.

Being together is all that counts right now and this temporary situation will not last long.

So please try to be thankful for what you do have !

Being educated is great and I applaud your drive and achievement but do not forget to do the simple things in life such as helping or volunteering instead of

complaining and simmering in anger about a situation that will take a little time.

Patience !

[wong_watkins 1]

I think I can understand you....I felt the same thing when I first moved here...I have probably actually packed my suitcases about 20 times. I cried for so many nights, and I cried so much that I was getting a little afraid that I was getting depression.

I definitely don't think you're a "whining baby" or anything like that. I've been in your shoes, and I feel that you probably just want to have somebody to listen to you without judging you, right? Yeah there were so many times when I thought that there's nothing good here in America...but things are just getting better for me now. I really couldn't tell you why things are better now...somehow I just got through it. Having a job really helped though. Seriously I really don't know what good advice to tell you...but staying positive is very important. Somehow you just have to think that you have to put all the negative things aside and be aggressive and try to make your life better. It's like you're trapped in a shell and you just have to do all you can to break the shell and be free.

Hang in there my friend. I'm really glad that I have gotten through all those shadows and I hope you can too.

[TracyTN 237]

I actually do appreciate threads like these, because it makes me think of things that my fiance might experience in a different way. (Granted he is from the UK so there won't be AS many differences.)

I did want to ask the OP, though - have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? If so, has he been helpful, or is there something else you'd like him to do that he hasn't?

I truly would like to learn ways to make my fiance's transition easier.

[Jackie&Yosdani 0]

You just piss me off..

You are so weak.. do you know how lucky you are to even get here legally.. that is very ungrateful!!! I feel sorry for your spouse..

You should of thought about all this before coming here, and you know you had plenty time! stop being so weak and get your s#t together..!!

Loye ya

Jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

in the meantime, make the most of it. get a netflix account, watch some movies and such. sharpen your english skills.

[Sinergy 3]

You just piss me off..

You are so weak.. do you know how lucky you are to even get here legally.. that is very ungrateful!!! I feel sorry for your spouse..

You should of thought about all this before coming here, and you know you had plenty time! stop being so weak and get your s#t together..!!

Loye ya

Jackie

Ok that was a bit too mean, i dont think we need to be name calling and degrading the OP. This was way out of line.

[JoeMama 0]

You just piss me off..

You are so weak.. do you know how lucky you are to even get here legally.. that is very ungrateful!!! I feel sorry for your spouse..

You should of thought about all this before coming here, and you know you had plenty time! stop being so weak and get your s#t together..!!

Loye ya

Jackie

Ok that was a bit too mean, i dont think we need to be name calling and degrading the OP. This was way out of line.

She did end the letter with "Loye ya". Strange thing to say. Maybe all she needs is LOYE!

[Sinergy 3]

You just piss me off..

You are so weak.. do you know how lucky you are to even get here legally.. that is very ungrateful!!! I feel sorry for your spouse..

You should of thought about all this before coming here, and you know you had plenty time! stop being so weak and get your s#t together..!!

Loye ya

Jackie

Ok that was a bit too mean, i dont think we need to be name calling and degrading the OP. This was way out of line.

She did end the letter with "Loye ya". Strange thing to say. Maybe all she needs is LOYE!

HAHAHAH your crazy

[Marilyn. 340]

You just piss me off..

You are so weak.. do you know how lucky you are to even get here legally.. that is very ungrateful!!! I feel sorry for your spouse..

You should of thought about all this before coming here, and you know you had plenty time! stop being so weak and get your s#t together..!!

Loye ya

Jackie

Ok that was a bit too mean, i dont think we need to be name calling and degrading the OP. This was way out of line.

for me I did know it was going to be hard to leave my family and everything else that I was familiar with, granted I came from Canada so the differences weren't that big but when I finally moved here, it was a big shock to me over how much I actually missed my family... and I missed just being able to jump in my car and go where I wanted to...