Age Gap

[Sea Leslie 430]

34 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

They would prefer to marry an American in order to immigrate to the states.

Thanks for the clarification 

[Sea Leslie 430]

45 minutes ago, Cathi said:

I'm 21 years older than my husband and we didn't have any issues.

This is wonderful to hear... I think I a worried for nothing. Our marriage is honest so I am no longer worried.

[Sea Leslie 430]

36 minutes ago, Aili & Dani said:

My personal experince, i was a lil afraid of age gap as a red flag, but the officer in embassy told me that his wife is older than him and thats just fine. 

That's nice that that he shared that with you.

[Ontarkie 14,215]

5 hours ago, Sea Leslie said:

Not sure if I have a lot of evidence... Just wedding pictures, western union receipts, and other photos where he took me out to different places. I was only able to visit with him once since the wedding due to work issues on his end.  

How many visits all together? You said one visit since the wedding. Face time is the best evidence. 

 

Some of the members talking about high fraud countries and large age gaps sometimes have a few things in common. One maybe two visits, often times marriage on the first visit. No other visits just the one or 2. The women being past child baring age, the guy in his early 20 where the men  would not normally marry a women that age and who can't have kids. Add that plus all the others that did make it through and ditch their wife/fiance the minute they can.

 

I know many on here try to say many guys can bring in women 20-40 yrs younger and they have no problems. The thing with this is it's normal for that to happen in those countries. Many women there look for older men as they want a husband who is stable and mature done playing game. They would marry an older guy in the home country. You can't compare the two as it is not the same. 

 

PS I am older (not much) than my husband, he had no kids I had 4 kids and my tubes tied. now I went and had surgery to untie my tubes and this very much came up at my interview in Montreal. They always look at the big picture you just may not hear about it. 

[angelbrown 195]

How big is your age gap? Someone said 11 years but I didn’t see the response from you.  I’m 15 years older than my husband and age wasn’t even brought up at the interview. I think it depends on the norms for the country and the evidence. Jamaica...it’s really not out of the norm so it’s not a big deal. 
 

I think the money transfers are iffy. It might give the wrong perspective. And I think it makes a difference if the person is a husband vs a fiancé. A husband, they would expect you to start co-mingling and building a life together. 
 

From a personal perspective, I agree that it’s more scrutinized with an older woman/younger male. Someone mentioned how men wouldn’t consider a woman much older in their own country. I agree. Even in Jamaica. And we wouldn’t look at a younger man in the states, at least I wouldn’t. Even when I met my husband, I was like whatever you think is going down is NOT happening😂. That’s was bc of our societal norms but also partly bc of the stories you hear about Jamaicans and “Stella” gave Jamaicans a bad rap. But the more we talked and the more I visited, I was like this dude is genuine and cool and he thought the same of me. I was like cool we can hang out when I go to JA🤣 But we became friends and then we really became inseparable. And we are still that way today☺️

 

I don’t think you will have any issues, at least not with the age. If you have any issues or they think it’s not real it will be most likely be because of something else. 

Edited January 31, 2020 by angelbrown

[geowrian 22,337]

3 hours ago, Aili & Dani said:

Im just saying, age gap is not the only issue. Many will misunderstand why they being denied. Its not only age gap.

Age gap has never been the only issue. That's been the case for years and years and years.

I think the confusion is with the words in bold: "Age gap is normal nowadays so they dont consider it as red flag anymore". This implies something changed, which I don't think there is evidence of that happening - except if local culture/acceptance of those relationships have changed.

Edited February 1, 2020 by geowrian

[Sea Leslie 430]

On 1/31/2020 at 5:33 PM, Ontarkie said:

How many visits all together? You said one visit since the wedding. Face time is the best evidence. 

 

Some of the members talking about high fraud countries and large age gaps sometimes have a few things in common. One maybe two visits, often times marriage on the first visit. No other visits just the one or 2. The women being past child baring age, the guy in his early 20 where the men  would not normally marry a women that age and who can't have kids. Add that plus all the others that did make it through and ditch their wife/fiance the minute they can.

 

I know many on here try to say many guys can bring in women 20-40 yrs younger and they have no problems. The thing with this is it's normal for that to happen in those countries. Many women there look for older men as they want a husband who is stable and mature done playing game. They would marry an older guy in the home country. You can't compare the two as it is not the same. 

 

PS I am older (not much) than my husband, he had no kids I had 4 kids and my tubes tied. now I went and had surgery to untie my tubes and this very much came up at my interview in Montreal. They always look at the big picture you just may not hear about it. 

We met 2017 and met three time since then, and one includes the wedding. I have one son (18) and I can still have children but I am currently on birth control. We don't plan on having children right away. I think I am ok and I think that we have enough supporting evidence... pictures from the wedding, pictures out on dates, and a few (3) money transfers. 

[Sea Leslie 430]

22 hours ago, angelbrown said:

How big is your age gap? Someone said 11 years but I didn’t see the response from you.  I’m 15 years older than my husband and age wasn’t even brought up at the interview. I think it depends on the norms for the country and the evidence. Jamaica...it’s really not out of the norm so it’s not a big deal. 
 

I think the money transfers are iffy. It might give the wrong perspective. And I think it makes a difference if the person is a husband vs a fiancé. A husband, they would expect you to start co-mingling and building a life together. 
 

From a personal perspective, I agree that it’s more scrutinized with an older woman/younger male. Someone mentioned how men wouldn’t consider a woman much older in their own country. I agree. Even in Jamaica. And we wouldn’t look at a younger man in the states, at least I wouldn’t. Even when I met my husband, I was like whatever you think is going down is NOT happening😂. That’s was bc of our societal norms but also partly bc of the stories you hear about Jamaicans and “Stella” gave Jamaicans a bad rap. But the more we talked and the more I visited, I was like this dude is genuine and cool and he thought the same of me. I was like cool we can hang out when I go to JA🤣 But we became friends and then we really became inseparable. And we are still that way today☺️

 

I don’t think you will have any issues, at least not with the age. If you have any issues or they think it’s not real it will be most likely be because of something else. 

Our age gap is 11... and we have photos from the wedding, dating, and pictures with family members. We only considered using the money transfers because it was suggested on the JA Embassy website. We only have three because he was in between jobs at the time, but he currently has a full-time job. I agree, I probably wouldn't have married a younger man in the states but like you said after years of speaking.... things seems to click and we fell in love. 

[Kimchi 190]

@Sea LeslieThere was a few couples on the 90 day fiance show on TLC  with the male partner coming from Jamaica and they all had age gaps. Younger guys. None of them had issues as far as I know and it was k-1 visas that are more easily denied.

One couple they had 12 year difference. I think he was 19 and she was 31.  Didn't work out when he came to the US ultimately but they had no issue getting approved.

[Sea Leslie 430]

21 hours ago, geowrian said:

Age gap has never been the only issue. That's been the case for years and years and years.

I think the confusion is with the words in bold: "Age gap is normal nowadays so they don't consider it as red flag anymore". This implies something changed, which I don't think there is evidence of that happening - except if local culture/acceptance of those relationships have changed.

Thanks for the clarification.... I agree that the idea/concept of acceptance by society that two people no matter age, size, color, or religion can be in a loving and committed relationship has grown. Makes me wonder about other things that we consider as changes are not really changes at all - just more acceptance of what was already happening. I love stimulating conversations like this 

[Sea Leslie 430]

1 minute ago, MWhite said:

@Sea LeslieThere was a few couples on the 90 day fiance show on TLC  with the male partner coming from Jamaica and they all had age gaps. Younger guys. None of them had issues as far as I know and it was k-1 visas that are more easily denied.

One couple they had 12 year difference. I think he was 19 and she was 31.  Didn't work out when he came to the US ultimately but they had no issue getting approved.

Thanks for the insight... My coworkers have told me about that show and I refuse to watch it because of some of the sad stories. Sad story lines always makes me sad anyway, but I find some comfort that age should not be my main focus at this time. We both should be more focused on showing supporting evidence of the marriage. 

[Kimchi 190]

Just now, Sea Leslie said:

Thanks for the insight... My coworkers have told me about that show and I refuse to watch it because of some of the sad stories. Sad story lines always makes me sad anyway, but I find some comfort that age should not be my main focus at this time. We both should be more focused on showing supporting evidence of the marriage. 

I watch it as I find it entertaining but I keep in mind they are on TV for a reason. There has to be some drama involved otherwise people wouldn't watch it. But obviously it is real life situations and something can be learned from the show about the immigration process. 

I do find this forum sometimes depressing and sad with the sad stories. 😥

[angelbrown 195]

1 hour ago, Sea Leslie said:

We met 2017 and met three time since then, and one includes the wedding. I have one son (18) and I can still have children but I am currently on birth control. We don't plan on having children right away. I think I am ok and I think that we have enough supporting evidence... pictures from the wedding, pictures out on dates, and a few (3) money transfers. 

Though I don’t think you will have any problems, did you submit any primary evidence?

[Sea Leslie 430]

13 hours ago, angelbrown said:

Though I don’t think you will have any problems, did you submit any primary evidence?

With the USCIS?

[Sea Leslie 430]

14 hours ago, MWhite said:

I watch it as I find it entertaining but I keep in mind they are on TV for a reason. There has to be some drama involved otherwise people wouldn't watch it. But obviously it is real life situations and something can be learned from the show about the immigration process. 

I do find this forum sometimes depressing and sad with the sad stories. 😥

True, but I will stick to my psychological thrillers, and mysteries for excitement and drama 😊