Age Gap

[Orangesapples 1,954]

9 hours ago, Pinkrlion said:

Age gap is only questioned in any country when it is the woman who is older than the man.  Then they cry fraud.  Sexism at its finest.  

I don't think it's the COs being sexist (they might be) and more that they recognize the sexism is society and especially in many developing countries. The truth is that most men are not interested in a serious relationship with a woman who is their mother's age and that's even more true in more conservative (and therefore more sexist) cultures. Those men would never consider a woman like that from their own country, that's why it's hard to believe the relationship is genuine. 

[Sea Leslie 430]

12 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

I don't think it's unfair, most people don't fall in love and marry someone who's their parents' age and from a different generation. It makes sense to question whether the relationship is legitimate or for immigration purposes only. I'm sure there are quite a few calculating young people (men and women) preying on older and desperate Americans. COs are right to scrutinize those relationships. 

Yes, I suppose it's actually for the individual's protection.

[Sea Leslie 430]

4 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

I don't think it's the COs being sexist (they might be) and more that they recognize the sexism is society and especially in many developing countries. The truth is that most men are not interested in a serious relationship with a woman who is their mother's age and that's even more true in more conservative (and therefore more sexist) cultures. Those men would never consider a woman like that from their own country, that's why it's hard to believe the relationship is genuine. 

WOW!! when you said... "with a woman who is their mother's age" makes is sound weird, but it is something that people would judge.

[carmel34 3,620]

If you have lots of solid evidence, we found that family and friends question our relationship more than US immigration did.

[Sea Leslie 430]

Just now, carmel34 said:

If you have lots of solid evidence, we found that family and friends question our relationship more than US immigration did.

Not sure if I have a lot of evidence... Just wedding pictures, western union receipts, and other photos where he took me out to different places. I was only able to visit with him once since the wedding due to work issues on his end.  

[Unlockable 7,314]

Hey...

 

 

 

...aren't we all kids on the inside? 😋

[Boiler 45,443]

Probably the most common saying on VJ is Age is just a number.

[ineedadisplayname 496]

I would not consider 11 years a large age gap. 

What matters mostly is for how long the two of you know each other and then the number of visits and the total time spent together.

I don't know the details but sending money might be a red flag if the relationship is new.

[Sea Leslie 430]

2 minutes ago, ineedadisplayname said:

I would not consider 11 years a large age gap. 

What matters mostly is for how long the two of you know each other and then the number of visits and the total time spent together.

I don't know the details but sending money might be a red flag if the relationship is new.

Thanks... I am not sure how they look at the age gap in terms of number of years. But I see on VJ that showing western union receipts is a positive thing, I have no idea what to think anymore.

[Boiler 45,443]

I can not imagine why it would, and is not Western Union a very expensive way to transfer money?

[Sea Leslie 430]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

I can not imagine why it would, and is not Western Union a very expensive way to transfer money?

You mean positive or negative?

I usually got points so the transfer fee was not to pricey. 

[geowrian 22,337]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I can not imagine why it would, and is not Western Union a very expensive way to transfer money?

Agreed.

Depends....I've had a few times where it was the best value. At the same time, I swore off them after some bad customer service experiences + considerable delays in processing.

I gravitate towards TransferWise right now, sometimes Xoom or Remitly. YMMV

Edited January 31, 2020 by geowrian

[Sea Leslie 430]

1 minute ago, geowrian said:

Agreed.

Depends....I've had a few times where it was the best value. At the same time, I swore off them after some bad customer service experiences + considerable delays in processing.

I gravitate towards TransferWise right now, sometimes Xoom or Remitly. YMMV

Good to know... I will look into that. 

[Boiler 45,443]

I tend to do it online through my Bank Account, not saying you can not get a better deal through specialists. Of late the difference has not been worth the hassle.

[Lemonslice 4,831]

15 hours ago, Sea Leslie said:

Hey guys...

 

So, I was just reading a post from a fellow VJ member and I was thinking about the age gap situation. I am a US citizen and my last husband who is a US citizen was much older then me and we had a significant age gap. No one even questioned it, and of course, I am totally aware that this would be an issue for some individuals in other countries because of marriage fraud. 

 

My thoughts are... how can the interviewer really determine if the marriage is a fraud because of the age difference? I, of course, do not have a concern with age because love is all that really matters, but I am worried (I overthink at times) that this issue (age gap) prevents other people from being together. Seems so unfair, but what are your thoughts? 

Love doesn't matter, it is not a requirement to immigrate.