Engagement party in two weeks

[SmallTownPA 72]

I'm heading back to Phan Theit  in two weeks to see my fiance and step son and my fiance is busy with work, Tet, birthday, and party planning so I'm not trying to bother her to much.

 

That said, what hell am I in for?  I already know the engagement photos are going to happen so I'm prepared to fake smile my way through that.

 

I know 3 Vietnamese words (which I cannot pronounce properly) and I'm going to be stuck with her family for a whole day.

 

My Chinese engagement party was just food and booze and I knew enough Mandarin to fake a conversation and most of them knew enough English to get along. 

 

I am a bit concerned about putting on a good impression for her family. 

 

Anyone got any tips for a brother?  What are some things I NEED to do?  I've watched some videos but they are all young kids.. I'm 50. 

 

One of my fiance's friends will be there, but I don't want to rely on her to much to translate. 

 

Any help appreciated.

 

 

 

[USS_Voyager 1,972]

15 hours ago, SmallTownPA said:

I'm going to be stuck with her family for a whole day.

One day? You'll be fine. Vietnamese people adore foreigners, especially Americans. What is it that you're doing? Is it an engagement party or it is just Tet gathering?

[WandY 430]

Whatever you do, don't make this look like a wedding. How can the child be your stepson if you are not married yet? Is the child from a previous marriage? You have to be extremely careful with words and how things look. She will be interviewing under the K-1, not the CR-1 spousal visa. If the interviewer thinks you got married - no K-1 visa approval. With that said, I've spent weeks with my VN family and they don't speak English and I don't speak VN. What are you worried about?

 

The Vietnamese are fun people, even when you can't understand their language. Eat, drink, laugh, walk around the neighborhood. I enjoy walking around and taking photos and meeting people. Be friendly. Smile and wave. Say "hello" to people. Kids love to say "hello" to Americans. Many young people know some English, but are reluctant to speak it.

 

If you can get online or use your phone, show them photos of your hometown and America. They love to see where she will be moving to. Use a translating app and have some fun trying to speak VN. Vietnamese don't laugh at you - they laugh WITH you. They are loving people who enjoy being around Americans. But you have to roll with it. Stay loose. Engage. Don't withdraw. Smile. Smile. Smile. And it helps to drink a lot, if you're into it.

 

Have fun!  Wish I was there. Good luck with your journey home.

[SmallTownPA 72]

13 hours ago, USS_Voyager said:

One day? You'll be fine. Vietnamese people adore foreigners, especially Americans. What is it that you're doing? Is it an engagement party or it is just Tet gathering?

Photos at the beach / resort in Phan Theit in the AM and PM is a dinner.

 

I'm not sure if this is typical, but from my fiance's house you can throw a rock and hit 20 relatives.  Its like they never wanted to move from their parents house.

[SmallTownPA 72]

8 hours ago, WandY said:

Whatever you do, don't make this look like a wedding. How can the child be your stepson if you are not married yet? Is the child from a previous marriage? You have to be extremely careful with words and how things look. She will be interviewing under the K-1, not the CR-1 spousal visa. If the interviewer thinks you got married - no K-1 visa approval. With that said, I've spent weeks with my VN family and they don't speak English and I don't speak VN. What are you worried about?

 

The Vietnamese are fun people, even when you can't understand their language. Eat, drink, laugh, walk around the neighborhood. I enjoy walking around and taking photos and meeting people. Be friendly. Smile and wave. Say "hello" to people. Kids love to say "hello" to Americans. Many young people know some English, but are reluctant to speak it.

 

If you can get online or use your phone, show them photos of your hometown and America. They love to see where she will be moving to. Use a translating app and have some fun trying to speak VN. Vietnamese don't laugh at you - they laugh WITH you. They are loving people who enjoy being around Americans. But you have to roll with it. Stay loose. Engage. Don't withdraw. Smile. Smile. Smile. And it helps to drink a lot, if you're into it.

 

Have fun!  Wish I was there. Good luck with your journey home.

What else do you call your fiance's kid?

 

I know that it can't 'look like' a wedding, but from searching VJ, it seems 80/20 that having a family engagement party is a good thing.

 

I don't drink much, and I really can't stomach the low quality of meat abroad, and fish is 100% off my menu when traveling, so I mainly stick to vegetables.

 

I know I have to entertain and not look like a grumpy old man.. but like I said with my Chinese wife it was like 3 hours of eating, two or three photos and DONE.  This is looking like a 5am to 10pm ordeal.

[craig5977 58]

My guess is it will be an all day ordeal. You know ganbei in Chinese so expect a lot of the same with her relatives. I also only speak 5 words of Vietnamese and have gotten through many parties. Usually they hold the bottom of the glass meaning drink all.

I dont drink much and I dont smoke, so my wife just tells them I cant drink much, just a few sips. I get by okay

If your worried about the seafood and meat, have your fiancee explain you are vegetarian, will solve many things. as people here love seafood and pork meat as well.

You will be surprised, many younger kids speak some English as well.

It sounds like a great time for you

Good luck

[SmallTownPA 72]

On 1/23/2020 at 12:25 AM, craig5977 said:

My guess is it will be an all day ordeal. You know ganbei in Chinese so expect a lot of the same with her relatives. I also only speak 5 words of Vietnamese and have gotten through many parties. Usually they hold the bottom of the glass meaning drink all.

I dont drink much and I dont smoke, so my wife just tells them I cant drink much, just a few sips. I get by okay

If your worried about the seafood and meat, have your fiancee explain you are vegetarian, will solve many things. as people here love seafood and pork meat as well.

You will be surprised, many younger kids speak some English as well.

It sounds like a great time for you

Good luck

 

So same old same old.