Is it hopeless to retry for another K1 visa after denial?

[Orangesapples 1,954]

1 hour ago, SmallTownPA said:

 

I have every intent to marry my fiance.   But 60 days in and she's homesick or hit hard with depression you're going to deny her the possibility to return home and call everything off?

 

There is no way you can say with certainty that everyone will adjust.  So yes, the K1 gives you that buffer to allow them to acclimate to EVERYTHING being new.  My wife's life in Vietnam is so different than anything I can think of in the US.  What part of me going to 'nam will change the culture shock that she will face?

 

If you think you can power through a bad relationship where your new husband/wife is depressed, alone and scared then you really need to consider if you have the ability to show any compassion.

 

Using the 90 days to allow the relationship to either thrive or wither is not a bad thing.  And its certainly not illegal.

 

And for the record.  I have completed an I-130F (first wife).  Withdrew an I-129F (fiance got cold feet) and now am on the 3rd go around.

 

Should I feel bad that my 'first choice' was not perfect?  Of that my 'second choice' couldn't give up her family?  No.  Absolutely not.   I didn't do anything wrong... some matches are just not perfect, or compatible.  Time (which dating a foreign person does not really allow a lot of) will tell.

You certainly sound like a catch... 

 

Most people don't wait for the 90 days before they get married because they want the immigrant to be able to get a green card ASAP. The 90 days are purely to arrange the marriage. 

 

I see you're good at committing if you're ready to leave your SO as soon as they're going through a tough time and they're depressed. 

 

I'm always suspicious of men who have a pattern of seeking foreign brides... It's OK if you just happen to fall in love but it smells fishy if you just keep on getting a new foreign bride every couple of years. 

[JeanneAdil 6,509]

17 hours ago, Dataunavailable said:

I am going through the same process as you OP. We are currently in the process of a second K1. It's at USCIS now, awaiting NOA2, hoping in the next month or two. 

 

I want to sympathize with what you are dealing with, it's tough. And even though there are many members here who are extremely knowledgeable and helpful, they have no idea what you are going through on a personal level, all they can go off of is what you say. The immigration process is stressful for both parties. And a denial can be a huge blow, we picked ourselves up from ours, we never fought or argued about it. We went through our paperwork, went through everything really to try and discern what the issue was. I feel it was a culmination of a few things, but keep in mind, nothing to prevent us from refiling. We got a 221G, basically the same like you, it took me going to the embassy in person on another trip to Cambodia to get some sort of answer after a lot of back and forth emails and talks with embassy employees that boiled down to the consular not believing my fiance displayed adequate intent to marry. How that is achieved is beyond me, but, it's the past, we built off of the denial and it strengthened our relationship even more, as we both knew we wanted to be together no matter what happens. 

 

CR1 is the route some people go, it can be refuted unlike a K1 if a denial is received,  but that doesn't necessarily mean that once the CR1 is back to it's specific embassy that an approval is guaranteed. I've spoke with a few lawyers on consultations, never hired one on, as people here are helpful and knowledgeable enough to point you in the right direction,  even with me as I've sometimes not agreed with answers here or felt like there was some disrespect,  I do respect their time spent answering. 

 

But the lawyer I've spoke with explained about a couple who did a spousal Visa, denied and sent back from USCIS to the embassy, denied still, they tried one more time and it was denied again. So just because someone gets married, it doesn't automatically make a Visa 100% guaranteed. It takes away an argument that a couple won't marry within 90 days of arrival, but it's not a golden ticket. 

 

People have different reasons for preferring a K1, I've talked to my fiance and she knows what to expect when she gets here and how it can take time to get things done. A K1 works better for us because to marry in Cambodia, a Male needs to make at least $2500 per month, it also almost seems required to hire what is called a fixer, to speed the process up, which can take anywhere from 20 to 60 days. We also both want my mom and family to be a part of our wedding, my father passed away and my step father is suffering with Lewy body dementia,  he is pretty much house bound with my mother looking after him. My mother has also sent me a letter of her certificate of ministry that she offered to marry us that I sent in with this petition. And my fiance wants that too, she wants my mom to be a part of our wedding, her and my mother have a really great relationship, even though they've never met in person yet. 

 

That is why we choose a K1, now if this is denied, I will do what I can to find a way to marry her in Cambodia, or most likely, some other country that isn't as difficult for a foreigner to marry a citizen. I'm not rich and I'm not poor, I'm just a 37 year old guy with a FT job, I don't have the luxury of being retired and able to travel anytime I want or the luxury of being able to just pick up from work and stay there for months, it just isn't realistic, but that doesn't mean our love for each other is less than a retired man going to the Philippines to see his fiance, or that I don't try as hard. And that's the frustration with this site at times, where it feels that you aren't trying hard enough, or someone else had an easier situation,  so why is yours so difficult. It can be heart breaking and stress inducing, but your love for each other has overcome borders, and it will overcome a denial. 

 

We also made sure this time,  since Cambodia is considered high fraud, to front load a lot more. I included multiple letters of co workers who have known me for a long time, some of them have spoken with my fiance through messages. Letters from my parents, my father before he passed away, correspondence with my congressman etc. Photos, letters of intent and how we met, Facebook posts, skype logs. 

 

We didn't just refile the same thing as last year, I also had another visit before refiling. I will hope everything works our for you, in the end, only you know how important your relationship is to both of you, 

Many of us here do know what you are going thru

i applied K1 in 2009  Denied even though i had know him over 2 years and spent the month of June with him and his family

Married 2010 and spent 2 more trips there 2 to marry in march and april and month of November to honeymoon

2011 another trip of 3 months and his new interview /  he was denied again 

appeal and won it 

did the CR1 again as per Immigration court letter

interview in 2015 and got the visa

 

many of us from high fraud countries go thru this process over and over and wait extensive times alone

all i can say is "we do whatever immigration says to do to wade thru the process to be together"

 

We don't take any situation here lightly

i answer as i went thru it

and i said to marry there as marriage is the best proof of a commitment on top of the fact that the embassy (part of immigration) said to do it

 

As for the above the man making $2500 a month is only $30,000 a year / I know that to do CR1 or AOS a couple needs to prove only a little over $21,000 but that is hardly enough in most states and especially with the AOS to go to over $2000 this year.   Not only does the separation put a strain on any relationship but the extra trips and the cost of the process do the same

 

the only thing i do know is keep the romance when you talk

don't let the immigration process be your only conversation as it can make you "mad as a hornet" and disrupt a time when getting to know each other should be a beautiful time of talking about the future and love

Good luck

 

[Lil bear 4,217]

10 hours ago, SmallTownPA said:

 

I have every intent to marry my fiance.   But 60 days in and she's homesick or hit hard with depression you're going to deny her the possibility to return home and call everything off?

 

There is no way you can say with certainty that everyone will adjust.  So yes, the K1 gives you that buffer to allow them to acclimate to EVERYTHING being new. 

If you are expecting that the 90 days will be a buffet to acclimate to everything new , then I encourage you to reconsider your expectations. I can tell you 100%..  in 60 days she will experience sadness at leaving Vietnam .. at 90 days .. at 180 days, at 365 days , at 2 years ... at 5 years .. at 10 years .. it’s normal ... the question I would be asking myself is “ do we each separately and together have the strength of commitment to stick

with and support each other when things get hard . .. be it from “ homesickness “ to finances, to differing opinions , health issues , extended family issues .... are you prepared to be compassionate supportive and there for her when she blurts out “I wish I’d never come here “. That cry from the heart is rarely a statement that say “I’m going back .. I’m leaving you... this is all wrong  “... it’s just a statement that she’s finding  life hard .. and right now it’s really hard.  Just my 2 cents worth 

[Oliversmom 250]

I would guess that many that come here are at first feeling a bit depressed, alone and scared.  My husband was not happy when he first came here.  That is where you come in - you help them adjust.  You take them around to see the area.  You help them look for a job if that is what they are wanting.  You help them learn to drive.  You make sure they are regularly talking to their family.  You find restaurants that serve their food from home. You do things as a couple.  You listen, really listen to what they have to say.  You don't say "oh if you are unhappy just go home".  Because it takes time to adjust.  My husband is very happy here now.  He has a job.  He is taking classes.  He has friends.  He has hobbies he enjoys.  We have a good life.  But that takes time.  You can't just give up if at first she doesn't like it here.  Well, you can but that is really not fair to her.  

 

 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

3 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

 

 

As for the above the man making $2500 a month is only $30,000 a year / I know that to do CR1 or AOS a couple needs to prove only a little over $21,000 but that is hardly enough in most states and especially with the AOS to go to over $2000 this year.   Not only does the separation put a strain on any relationship but the extra trips and the cost of the process do the same

 

 

Yep, $2500 (gross or even net) a month is really not enough for two people to live comfortably in the states and if they're planning on having children... Oh my. I think it's a fair requirement. 

[SmallTownPA 72]

6 hours ago, Lil bear said:

If you are expecting that the 90 days will be a buffet to acclimate to everything new , then I encourage you to reconsider your expectations. I can tell you 100%..  in 60 days she will experience sadness at leaving Vietnam .. at 90 days .. at 180 days, at 365 days , at 2 years ... at 5 years .. at 10 years .. it’s normal ... the question I would be asking myself is “ do we each separately and together have the strength of commitment to stick

with and support each other when things get hard . .. be it from “ homesickness “ to finances, to differing opinions , health issues , extended family issues .... are you prepared to be compassionate supportive and there for her when she blurts out “I wish I’d never come here “. That cry from the heart is rarely a statement that say “I’m going back .. I’m leaving you... this is all wrong  “... it’s just a statement that she’s finding  life hard .. and right now it’s really hard.  Just my 2 cents worth 

 

And there is no way me going to HER home country will fix that, or marrying within 90 days will cure it.  This is my point. 

 

I grew up in a military family.  I never lived in one spot more than 3 years until I finished my Navy service in 1995 at 25.  Yes, I lived overseas in (anyone remember) West Germany and in China.   Once I finally settled down I dated girls that NEVER LEFT THE COUNTY, not to mention the STATE.

 

Now take a foreign woman who has a romanticized version of the US.  Admit it, how many fiance's had a REALISTIC idea of what the US is like?  No, its not like NYC or LA.  No, there are not guns everywhere etc etc etc.  

 

If you are NAIVE enough to think that anything you say or do will prepare a foreigner for life in the US when they never left their country you are NAIVE.  Some will handle it better than others, but the 90 days give you a buffer to see if it will pass or if the problems will amplify.  

 

I'm really boggled why people think that the 90 days is NOT part of the 'get to know you' period.  Most ppl will never be abroad more than 1 or 2 weeks.  If you tell me that's enough to form that life long bond then you're kidding yourself.  Because as soon as they hit the USA literally EVERYTHING changes.

 

I guess there are some people who just over romanticize the process.  I'd rather walk away before marriage than after.  And living together under the K1 visa for 60 days before marriage is just a good idea.  

 

I am 100% committed to marry my fiance.  I just sent her money to plan the engagement party and photos.  Her Ao Dia is done and I am really not looking forward to it (I am not a photogenic man lol) and being in a room full of people I cannot talk to is just not fun.  I'll do it with a smile on my face and show my wifes family that I will take good care of her... but if the 60 or so days we live together before marriage are unbearable (for any number of reasons) I'll pull the eject handle and end it as peacefully as I can.  That's how life works.  It took me 2 years of marriage to discover my ex-wife were just not on the same page.

 

 

Edited January 18, 2020 by SmallTownPA

[Boiler 45,520]

I would imagine many K1's visit before they move, I did, and many have traveled extensively.

[Lil bear 4,217]

18 minutes ago, SmallTownPA said:

 

And there is no way me going to HER home country will fix that, or marrying within 90 days will cure it.  This is my point. 

 

I grew up in a military family.  I never lived in one spot more than 3 years until I finished my Navy service in 1995 at 25.  Yes, I lived overseas in (anyone remember) West Germany and in China.   Once I finally settled down I dated girls that NEVER LEFT THE COUNTY, not to mention the STATE.

 

Now take a foreign woman who has a romanticized version of the US.  Admit it, how many fiance's had a REALISTIC idea of what the US is like?  No, its not like NYC or LA.  No, there are not guns everywhere etc etc etc.  

 

If you are NAIVE enough to think that anything you say or do will prepare a foreigner for life in the US when they never left their country you are NAIVE.  Some will handle it better than others, but the 90 days give you a buffer to see if it will pass or if the problems will amplify.  

 

I'm really boggled why people think that the 90 days is NOT part of the 'get to know you' period.  Most ppl will never be abroad more than 1 or 2 weeks.  If you tell me that's enough to form that life long bond then you're kidding yourself.  Because as soon as they hit the USA literally EVERYTHING changes.

 

I guess there are some people who just over romanticize the process.  I'd rather walk away before marriage than after.  And living together under the K1 visa for 60 days before marriage is just a good idea.  

 

I am 100% committed to marry my fiance.  I just sent her money to plan the engagement party and photos.  Her Ao Dia is done and I am really not looking forward to it (I am not a photogenic man lol) and being in a room full of people I cannot talk to is just not fun.  I'll do it with a smile on my face and show my wifes family that I will take good care of her... but if the 60 or so days we live together before marriage are unbearable (for any number of reasons) I'll pull the eject handle and end it as peacefully as I can.  That's how life works.  It took me 2 years of marriage to discover my ex-wife were just not on the same page.

 

 

Not really sure why you quoted me in  your reply... 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

53 minutes ago, SmallTownPA said:

 Admit it, how many fiance's had a REALISTIC idea of what the US is like?  No, its not like NYC or LA.  No, there are not guns everywhere etc etc etc.  

 

I'm pretty sure NYC and LA are in the US, so yes, the US is definitely "like" NYC and LA, 12 million people live in those two cities combined, so pretty substantial. 

53 minutes ago, SmallTownPA said:

 

 

I'm really boggled why people think that the 90 days is NOT part of the 'get to know you' period.  Most ppl will never be abroad more than 1 or 2 weeks.  If you tell me that's enough to form that life long bond then you're kidding yourself.  

You're naive if you think 60 days is enough time for anything. My first 60 days in the US were nothing like my current life, not to mention how much of a difference having a job makes. 

 

 

Edited January 18, 2020 by Orangesapples

[Orangesapples 1,954]

53 minutes ago, SmallTownPA said:

 

I guess there are some people who just over romanticize the process.  

Nope, we're being more practical by having the immigrant be able to get a job and start a life in the US sooner rather than later. Also, no offense but someone with a few failed relationships/visa applications doesn't sound like the best person to take marital advice from. 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

47 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I would imagine many K1's visit before they move, I did, and many have traveled extensively.

I doubt many from high risk countries would simply due to tourist visa denials.. 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

16 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

I'm pretty sure NYC and LA are in the US, so yes, the US is definitely "like" NYC and LA, 12 million people live in those two cities combined, so pretty substantial. 

Haha New Orleans is nothing like LA or NYC.. 

 

you have to remember all we see on TV is either housewife’s of LA type stuff where everyone is rich, NCIS type stuff or movies... nothing like physically being there... non of the TV shows accessible to us on free to air show the poverty, homelessness and tent cities.. true crime issues, regular suburban living areas and their problems etc.. not to mention entire areas covered in trailers... damn your trailer parks are nothing like ours which are 5* by comparison..

 

my first time to NOLA I envisioned Mardi Gras, French quarter and huckleberry Finn on a raft type stuff.. NOTHING like true New Orleans.... oh yeah, hurricanes but that didn’t worry me coming from a hurricane area.. but at least we clean up after it’s gone through... nola still hasn’t! 

 

so no, you can’t say being in America is like what you see on tv just like Australia and Crocodile Dundee and deadly animals everywhere.. nothing of the sort

Edited January 18, 2020 by Duke & Marie

[Orangesapples 1,954]

10 minutes ago, Duke & Marie said:

Haha New Orleans is nothing like LA or NYC.. 

 

you have to remember all we see on TV is either housewife’s of LA type stuff where everyone is rich, NCIS type stuff or movies... nothing like physically being there... non of the TV shows accessible to us on free to air show the poverty, homelessness and tent cities.. true crime issues, regular suburban living areas and their problems etc.. not to mention entire areas covered in trailers... damn your trailer parks are nothing like ours which are 5* by comparison..

 

my first time to NOLA I envisioned Mardi Gras, French quarter and huckleberry Finn on a raft type stuff.. NOTHING like true New Orleans.... oh yeah, hurricanes but that didn’t worry me coming from a hurricane area.. but at least we clean up after it’s gone through... nola still hasn’t! 

 

so no, you can’t say being in America is like what you see on tv just like Australia and Crocodile Dundee and deadly animals everywhere.. nothing of the sort

I didn't say being in America is like the stuff you see on TV, of course it's not, I said that NYC and LA are very much parts of the US and a lot of people live there. 

 

My biggest culture shock was the suburbs. They're the worst and they're even worse if you can't drive. It was extremely hard for me to adjust to living in an unwalkable area. The solution? We moved to a better place, I learned how to drive and I got a job. I like where we live now. None of that could have been accomplished in 60 days and definitely not without at least an EAD. 

[Boiler 45,520]

Yep, more like being on an extended holiday.

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

22 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

 

 

My biggest culture shock was the suburbs. They're the worst and they're even worse if you can't drive. It was extremely hard for me to adjust to living in an unwalkable area. The solution? We moved to a better place, I learned how to drive and I got a job. I like where we live now. None of that could have been accomplished in 60 days and definitely not without at least an EAD. 

Not everyone can move to a better area... example.. my husband works on the river..it’s his livelihood, he has to be near the boat on which he works 12 hour shifts.. anything further than 30min from the boat he’s falling asleep at the wheel driving home in the dark at 4am believe me.. for over 12 months I called him every day just to ensure he stayed awake while driving because he told me he drifted off one time and woke right before a red light intersection that would have seen him land in the swamp... I literally forced him move apartments to be closer to the boat for this reason. 

 

Alternatively, I could go live in his house.. but don’t see the point in my moving to the us if I’m then going to be stuck in a different state than him where he comes home once a month for 4 days off..

secondly, their really aren’t any better areas in NOLA suburbia thanks to the storms.. it’s very much hit and miss.. one street is nice, next is shockingly bad.. so having the time to visit on vacation did help me in choosing weather or not I was prepared to go live somewhere where I’m personally scared to go out alone after dark.. the K1 gives the beneficiary this opportunity too, if she hasn’t been there before. 

Edited January 18, 2020 by Duke & Marie