Is it hopeless to retry for another K1 visa after denial?

[Dataunavailable 82]

2 hours ago, Boiler said:

I seem to recollect her recently immigrated family was the main issue, the complications with her mother?

In a nutshell, yes. I don't want to detract from OPs post much.

 

Her sister has been in the U.S for 11 some years, her mother has been here for about 4, she had a hiccup on a question the consular asked with the translator. Which was if her sister introduced us, as we met on Facebook through her aunt. Basically she thought the translated question was if she spoke to her sister about us after we met, but it was if her sister introduced,  so the consular says, first you say aunt, now you say sister. 

 

She speaks English very well, she said it was hard to hear and understand what they said, I can't fault her or be upset for saying yes to the question and than realizing what they asked and trying to explain why she said yes, or saying please repeat. That's why they brought in the translator in the first place, because she had a hard time hearing the consular and he had to repeat questions.

 

Humans make mistakes and we learn from them, if no one ever made a mistake, the entire visa process would probably not even be a thing. Some mistakes, like this, cause excess time waiting to be together,  but in the end, it will be worth it. And if I have to uproot my life here in the U.S to be with her, so be it, I'd rather be there with her, than to live here without her. 

[Dataunavailable 82]

4 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Does she know her stay in the US will be a test run to see if your mom approves? 

 

I came on a K1 and there was never a question of whether we will get married, only how to do it as soon as possible. I would never have gotten on the plane otherwise and no one should. 

 

Also, your SO is supposed to look out for you and your best interest, not claim it's your responsibility and your risk. If you can't give your fiance security, what's the point of the relationship. 

 

Reading this makes me feel so grateful for my own spouse who would never have pulled anything like this. 

I'm not the OP, I'm only asking as someone viewing the OP thread. I have personally explained to my fiance what she should expect when she finally arrives here,  but we also have plans to marry already when she arrives in the first month, ours isn't a see if it's a right fit situation. 

 

And I fully understand the giving security for them, as I can't imagine how scary it would be to move to another country,  I've been nervous just moving states. But the beneficiary should also have a say in regards to OP situation, if he is doing a test run to see if that is something they want to do, if it isn't, why would they come here on the K1, knowing that the OP is wanting to have her get a feel first? 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

42 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Does she know her stay in the US will be a test run to see if your mom approves? 

 

I came on a K1 and there was never a question of whether we will get married, only how to do it as soon as possible. I would never have gotten on the plane otherwise and no one should. 

 

Also, your SO is supposed to look out for you and your best interest, not claim it's your responsibility and your risk. If you can't give your fiance security, what's the point of the relationship. 

 

Reading this makes me feel so grateful for my own spouse who would never have pulled anything like this. 

Your situation may or may not be the same as the OPs..

 

we have no idea what has been discussed between them, this is what they as a couple may have discussed as what’s best for them so it’s not really a case of trying to pull anything, particularly if they have both agreed.. 

 

yes the op has a responsibility to the beneficiary.. but he also has responsibilities to the child as a parent, if they feel that introduction needs to happen prior to marriage to reaffirm everything is ok then again that’s their choice.. making the k1 the best choice for them..  it in no way removes any relationship legitimacy or intention of marriage prior to her arrival 

Edited January 18, 2020 by Duke & Marie

[Reconnecting Reco 24]

1 hour ago, Dataunavailable said:

It's not unheard of, as long as you can overcome the reason for the denial, you have a chance. The embassy was running me back and forth, I spoke with them right after the denial through emails, I went there in person in May 2019 at 8am on a Tues, was told to come back later as the person that does petitioner meetings isn't there until later. We went to see Avengera Endgame and came back at noon, a new guy at the window, I'm now told to email a request for appointment. Email them, no response until a day before I leave that I can come anytime Mon and Tues from 1-2pm for petitioner questions.  I explained how I was there, no one told me to come back at that specific time, I finally got an email with them saying "not displaying adequate intent to marry". 

 

So, even finding the reason for denial itself is a struggle. I went to my congressmans office and they did an official inquiry, which was the same generic 221G, didn't beleive the relationship was legitimate that I first received after her denial. 

 

Did you go with to the first interview? I ask because I did not know that it was something that should be done, I didn't know of this website until after the denial, I just followed what USCIS had as a guide, with her next interview,  I have my vacation for the year since it just reset in January and plan on using that for the interview, be there a week before and a week after, it's depressing,  but all I can get is about 3 weeks a year and the last 2 years have been spent going there with it, I really wish I had more vacation so I can spend more time there, but we do what we can right.  

My lawyer says flying out to be there for her during the interview shows strong signs of support. It by no way means it's a guarantee but much more difficult to say fraud if I'm there in their faces. I'm trying to do anything that can help.

[Boiler 45,486]

Do they allow spouses at her Consulate?

 

So she is onboard with the possibility that she may be returning within the 90 days if things do not work out.

[Reconnecting Reco 24]

49 minutes ago, Dataunavailable said:

I'm not the OP, I'm only asking as someone viewing the OP thread. I have personally explained to my fiance what she should expect when she finally arrives here,  but we also have plans to marry already when she arrives in the first month, ours isn't a see if it's a right fit situation. 

 

And I fully understand the giving security for them, as I can't imagine how scary it would be to move to another country,  I've been nervous just moving states. But the beneficiary should also have a say in regards to OP situation, if he is doing a test run to see if that is something they want to do, if it isn't, why would they come here on the K1, knowing that the OP is wanting to have her get a feel first? 

What I'm trying to understand if the K1 isn't for what I want to use it for then why have it at all. Why don't all people just skip it and go on to use the spousal visa instead? I want to marry her and she wants to marry me. She says she would move to the middle of Afghanistan for me and I believe her. Regardless I still think it's fair for her to get a glimpse of what her new life will be before committing on a leap of blind faith.

 

Now let's say for some one in a million chance it doesn't work out. As long as she goes back after 90 days there's no harm no foul. That's exactly what this visa was made for or this rule wouldn't have been enacted. 

[Boiler 45,486]

There are certain cases where a K1 is most logical, and historically it did not have the many disadvantages it does now, we can only comment on the current position.

[Reconnecting Reco 24]

Just now, Boiler said:

Do they allow spouses at her Consulate?

 

So she is onboard with the possibility that she may be returning within the 90 days if things do not work out.

Not for the interview but I've been there and as long as I schedule an appoint there on the same day and time as her interview I can enter the consulate. I'll give her my passport and she can relay to the interviewer that I am there with her for moral support.

 

There is no possibility of her returning unless for some reason she wants to. Don't mistake me as no being sure about her or us. I just want to handle this situation in my own way but I'd marry her tomorrow if that's what it takes. Even if my kid hated her, and my family shunned her I'd still marry her. 

[Dataunavailable 82]

12 minutes ago, Reconnecting Reco said:

My lawyer says flying out to be there for her during the interview shows strong signs of support. It by no way means it's a guarantee but much more difficult to say fraud if I'm there in their faces. I'm trying to do anything that can help.

Right,  the consulars will still have no problem saying no, even with us there. But as a side note, when my fiance had her interview there was a girl there in line with her fiance. They were nervous because she spoke only a handful of English,  and her fiance spoke no Khmer, she was scared because her fiance said if she fails that he will leave her. They also only brought one piece of paper along, want to guess if they passed or failed the interview? 

Spoiler, they passed. 

 

Now I have no other basis to go on besides what my fiance said she talked with this girl about outside the embassy while waiting, but it seems to show that they at least prefer the petitioner there with the beneficiary, Cambodia does allow the petitioner inside with them for the interview. 

[geowrian 22,337]

6 minutes ago, Reconnecting Reco said:

What I'm trying to understand if the K1 isn't for what I want to use it for then why have it at all. Why don't all people just skip it and go on to use the spousal visa instead?

There are circumstances where a K-1 is a suitable option. There are many cases where it is not.

It is not a good option for somebody who has items to close out beforehand.

There are limited circumstances where a K-1 is actually necessary - such as if there is an 18-20 year old stepchild involved.

 

In my case, we only got to see each other once or twice a year since we both needed time off - her country didn't even have tourist visas available, and she was unable to obtain a US tourist visa. We didn't want to wait ~8-10 months to see each other, marry, and then start the process.

Speed is the main advantage of a K-1, and even that is fairly minor right now (it was only ~4-6 months for the entire process shortly before my now-wife's process).

 

17 minutes ago, Reconnecting Reco said:

but I'd marry her tomorrow if that's what it takes.

That is the suggestion.

[Lemonslice 4,838]

The K1 is not bad, doing it twice, with no guarantee, and being ready to move there, or file for a spousal visa (as instructed by the consulate) shows some dedication. Or stubbornness.

Best of luck. 

Edited January 18, 2020 by Lemonslice

[SmallTownPA 72]

10 hours ago, Boiler said:

You are missing the point, a K1 requires you to be ready to marry, it is not a try out and see situation, you submit a document saying your are ready to go.

Absolutely not. 

 

Even the USCIS language doesn't say you must be 'ready', only that you intend to.  Intent is little more than a plan.  I plan to marry my fiance, but I will not commit until we can determine that she can handle life in a new country.  If she cannot handle the stress (and face it, most of the world is MUCH MORE FAMILY CENTERED THAN THE AVERAGE AMERICAN FAMILY) we will not marry as I don't want a depressed/manic woman on my hands.  It will suck, but I've broken up with girlfriends FOR MUCH LESS.

 

The K1 visa really is huge gray area.  We all know that the vast majority of people never spend enough time together before the visa, and the 90 day period is really 'the test' to see if you can be together 100% of the time.  If anything the COST of the K1, the visits, etc are probably more of a deterrent than anything a CO can look for.  Most people simply can't afford a foreign relationship.

 

So yes, many, many people see the K1 period as the real test, and even though they intend to marry, I would say that most people are barely above the 50% commitment level.  I do. 

 

I just withdrew an I-129 that was at the consulate, after a year of dating, 5 weeks together in person, and daily communication.  She got cold feet and wanted me to leave the US.  NOPE. 

 

My current fiance is a wonder woman.  I love her dearly.  I support her and have already seen her twice in the 4 months we known each other.  I intent do marry her.  But its not gonna be on the first day her feet hit JKF.  Will she like the area I live in?  Will she handle the fact that there are no Vietnamese to talk to?  Her English is good, but what about her son?  Will he make friends.

 

So yes, you should have the INTENT to marry, there are many more concerns to look at (mentioned above) that no amount of time overseas could predict.  So yes.  Like it or not.  The K1 is a trial period.  For the BENEFICIARY more than the Petitioner.

 

To think otherwise is foolish.  Your rose colored glasses will need some cleaning.

Edited January 18, 2020 by SmallTownPA

[Boiler 45,486]

Good luck with the Consulate using that position.

 

Sort of explains the many posts we see of K1's who come to the US end up stranded with no desire to return home due to financial and family issues.

 

10 minutes ago, SmallTownPA said:

Absolutely not. 

 

Even the USCIS language doesn't say you must be 'ready', only that you intend to.  Intent is little more than a plan.  I plan to marry my fiance, but I will not commit until we can determine that she can handle life in a new country.  If she cannot handle the stress (and face it, most of the world is MUCH MORE FAMILY CENTERED THAN THE AVERAGE AMERICAN FAMILY) we will not marry as I don't want a depressed/manic woman on my hands.  It will suck, but I've broken up with girlfriends FOR MUCH LESS.

 

The K1 visa really is huge gray area.  We all know that the vast majority of people never spend enough time together before the visa, and the 90 day period is really 'the test' to see if you can be together 100% of the time.  If anything the COST of the K1, the visits, etc are probably more of a deterrent than anything a CO can look for.  Most people simply can't afford a foreign relationship.

 

So yes, many, many people see the K1 period as the real test, and even though they intend to marry, I would say that most people are barely above the 50% commitment level.  I do. 

 

I just withdrew an I-129 that was at the consulate, after a year of dating, 5 weeks together in person, and daily communication.  She got cold feet and wanted me to leave the US.  NOPE. 

 

[SmallTownPA 72]

8 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Good luck with the Consulate using that position.

 

Sort of explains the many posts we see of K1's who come to the US end up stranded with no desire to return home due to financial and family issues.

 

 

 

I have every intent to marry my fiance.   But 60 days in and she's homesick or hit hard with depression you're going to deny her the possibility to return home and call everything off?

 

There is no way you can say with certainty that everyone will adjust.  So yes, the K1 gives you that buffer to allow them to acclimate to EVERYTHING being new.  My wife's life in Vietnam is so different than anything I can think of in the US.  What part of me going to 'nam will change the culture shock that she will face?

 

If you think you can power through a bad relationship where your new husband/wife is depressed, alone and scared then you really need to consider if you have the ability to show any compassion.

 

Using the 90 days to allow the relationship to either thrive or wither is not a bad thing.  And its certainly not illegal.

 

And for the record.  I have completed an I-130F (first wife).  Withdrew an I-129F (fiance got cold feet) and now am on the 3rd go around.

 

Should I feel bad that my 'first choice' was not perfect?  Of that my 'second choice' couldn't give up her family?  No.  Absolutely not.   I didn't do anything wrong... some matches are just not perfect, or compatible.  Time (which dating a foreign person does not really allow a lot of) will tell.

Edited January 18, 2020 by SmallTownPA

[geowrian 22,337]

A K-1 does not force anybody to marry. It certainly does not force anybody to stay.

At the same time, the 90 days is purely to do exactly that - get married. It is not to get acclimated. it is not to get to know your partner better. It is not to see what living together is like.

Things happen and sometimes getting married does not work out. And that's fine. Sometimes the marriage gets called off. That's also fine.

But there are far too many cases of people that have used the K-1 as a sort of "trial period" before determining if they truly want to get married or not.

Edited January 18, 2020 by geowrian