Implications of divorce before ROC on Green card

[MaleAlpha 314]

Just a piece of advice.

 

I'm a guy that's been married for about 8 and going on 9 years now. Your husband's behavior is not excusable however from a guy's perspective I think he really wants things to work with you hence why he told her no, he's married and wants to be faithful.

 

I can understand your frustration but marriage is very different from a normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where you can break-up for any reason. Divorce is not easy (never been divorced before - my 1st marriage - and never planning to but I'm echoing what I have read and seen others go through) and should be the very last resort. Instead of inquiring about your ROC, I think you should be having a conversation with your husband. Let him know you know what he's been up to. Give the man a chance to explain to you and come clean on everything and if you do love him, perhaps give him a chance to right his wrongs. We're not talking about you catching him in bed with another woman but email communication. Again I'm not excusing his behavior but in the grand scheme of things, I think this is something you two can work through - if you are willing to give him a chance and he is willing to stop his shenanigans.

 

Now regarding immigration, it will actually look good for you if you gave this man a chance, went through counseling etc. and he didn't hold his end of the stick. If I am an immigration officer, I will find the situation very very suspicious (regardless of the story) because of the timeline. You married in December 2019, it's just mid-January and you're already talking of divorce and ROC etc. Not faulting you at all, but just look at things from USCIS perspective.

 

Alright, enough with my essay. I wish you the very best!

[Orangesapples 1,954]

29 minutes ago, MaleAlpha said:

Just a piece of advice.

 

I'm a guy that's been married for about 8 and going on 9 years now. Your husband's behavior is not excusable however from a guy's perspective I think he really wants things to work with you hence why he told her no, he's married and wants to be faithful.

 

I can understand your frustration but marriage is very different from a normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where you can break-up for any reason. Divorce is not easy (never been divorced before - my 1st marriage - and never planning to but I'm echoing what I have read and seen others go through) and should be the very last resort. Instead of inquiring about your ROC, I think you should be having a conversation with your husband. Let him know you know what he's been up to. Give the man a chance to explain to you and come clean on everything and if you do love him, perhaps give him a chance to right his wrongs. We're not talking about you catching him in bed with another woman but email communication. Again I'm not excusing his behavior but in the grand scheme of things, I think this is something you two can work through - if you are willing to give him a chance and he is willing to stop his shenanigans.

 

Now regarding immigration, it will actually look good for you if you gave this man a chance, went through counseling etc. and he didn't hold his end of the stick. If I am an immigration officer, I will find the situation very very suspicious (regardless of the story) because of the timeline. You married in December 2019, it's just mid-January and you're already talking of divorce and ROC etc. Not faulting you at all, but just look at things from USCIS perspective.

 

Alright, enough with my essay. I wish you the very best!

While I agree with you on a lot of what you said, the husband is most definitely cheating. She might give him a chance if she chooses to but she shouldn't be the one to bend over backwards for him, he should bend over backwards to earn her trust back. Otherwise their marriage is doomed and she will never have his respect. Her job right now is to hold him accountable and not let him walk all over her. 

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

How are you performance skills? My response to this situation would be to write of a parody to “Look at Me I’m Sandra Dee” from Grease and express my displeasure and let the Mister know I know through the art of musical theatre. But I’m not one for subtlety. 
 

That aside, I’m not going to get bogged down on debates on whether he’s “actually” cheating or if the marriage is salvageable. Only you can decide that! In the end, even if he does express regret and makes it clear Sandy is outta there, you shouldn’t stay in a marriage you don’t want to be in anymore. Your happiness comes first!

 

As others have said, you do not need to be married in order to file for ROC. Plenty of people get by with a divorce waiver as long as they have reasonable evidence of co-mingling to submit from the beginning of the marriage.

 

As for divorce, it can be hard when there are a lot of contested assets and custody issues at stake, but it doesn’t have to be! Also since it varies by state things can get a little goofy. I don’t see it as any more challenging than immigration processes, though.

[ineedadisplayname 501]

On 1/14/2020 at 12:54 PM, Mike&Lulu Burton said:

I need advice here visa journeys. I know it might sound suspicious to USCIS when somebody gets divorced way before the ROC time comes.

I have known my husband for 20 years and we got married in April 2019, Green card was issued in December 2019.

I noticed dating sites emails coming to his spam since I moved in and I tried to be calmed and just took it as unwanted publicity. I also noticed a woman emailing him since 2016 asking why she was blocked and that she would have wanted them to work out.

Bottom line, I discovered she was his friend since 2014, she visited him in 2016 for 4 days, he blocked her months after that and she kept sending emails that went to the spam folder, but in November 2019 before my green card interview I traveled to my country with my EAD for a few days and medical purposes, when I got back I found out that he had been talking to her and found photos showing him her naked body. I also found an email from him where he tells her that unfortunately he cannot be with her at this moment and that he wouldn't want to cheat on his wife.

I took a long breath and have been checking his emails once in a while. She has emailed him around 7 times since November, she is supposedly still blocked in his phone. 

 

This morning I found 3 emails from her, all of them go to the spam so he was not able to see them, she tells him she got his text that says the following:

Hi sandy, I am sorry I haven’t communicated better. I am stuck and unsure of myself. I miss you and want to be with you but the reality is that I am married for better or worse. To continue to entertain the thought of being with you is unfair and unrealistic to us both.

 

Right after I tried to order on our amazon account and I found out he placed an order for her last week, and 15 minutes later of placing the order he cancelled it maybe thinking I would notice. But he didn't delete the shipping address, so when I wanted to check out from my order the default shipping address is hers.

I definitely cannot keep closing my eyes and thinking that his ¨I love you¨ are truth, I tried to think that it was not cheating because she lives in Florida and we in Arizona, It hurts much and I really married him for good and  made a commitment to be with him for ever, but this is too much and it is overwhelming me. 

 

He doesn't know I know and that I have found everything. I don't know if I can keep hiding it and just wait 2 years for ROC, the other part of me wants to tell him, get divorce and keep on going with my life, but I have started a life here in the U.S. and don't want to loose my green card. Nobody deserves this when we have been so loyal, faithful and supportive as a wife should be.

Looks like he chose you after all. 

[Dalila Gonzalez 49]

On 1/14/2020 at 12:42 PM, GP1977 said:

Divorce is not a bar to removing conditions.

 

When you file your waiver, the burden will be on you to prove that you entered into a bonafide marriage.   Retain this evidence now  and you will be fine.

 

Exactly! Try to get copies of the paperwork emails and texts. Have a digital and paper copy just in case you need them. And maybe take screen shots of the interaction between you two. That way you can prove it is him stepping out of the marriage in a way and not you. It’s not your fault if the marriage ends even if you are the one to ask for the divorce and therefore you shouldn’t be punished for it, you went in with the best and long lasting of intentions