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Egghead

Marrying a Nigerian Man

By Egghead in Africa: Sub-Saharan

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Egghead Newbie

Egghead   0

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I have met someone through social media and am in love with him. I have not yet met him in person, but we talk daily and I have briefly been introduced to his family. He is very compassionate and sincere, but I'm wondering if I should make this move to marry him. It's all just moving so quickly. I truly don't believe he's a scammer because he has not once asked me for anything and always talks about moving me and my children there with him sometime later. He has expressed interest in coming here with us and having a living, but wants all of us to return to his home, which I would consider. I want to go visit him but am truly nervous. I don't want to take this chance for some bs to take place, marry him, and then think we're gonna live this life together and it's all just a joke. 

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! I will also be making this trip by myself to visit him. I'm excited but nervous and overwhelmed at the same time. 

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Lil bear Mentor

Lil bear   4,207

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
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16 minutes ago, Egghead said:

I have met someone through social media and am in love with him. I have not yet met him in person, but we talk daily and I have briefly been introduced to his family. He is very compassionate and sincere, but I'm wondering if I should make this move to marry him. It's all just moving so quickly. I truly don't believe he's a scammer because he has not once asked me for anything and always talks about moving me and my children there with him sometime later. He has expressed interest in coming here with us and having a living, but wants all of us to return to his home, which I would consider. I want to go visit him but am truly nervous. I don't want to take this chance for some bs to take place, marry him, and then think we're gonna live this life together and it's all just a joke. 

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! I will also be making this trip by myself to visit him. I'm excited but nervous and overwhelmed at the same time. 

Please please please meet him ..  several times .. different places and environments .. talking of marrying , moving to another country , big long term promises etc before spending significant time together is unwise. I hope it all proves to be sincere and true .. but anyone can be who they want online .. and  unfortunately some from Nigeria have tainted the immigration system for the bonafide ones..and USCIS considers it a high fraud country. If you do decide to go ahead in the relationship, you have a very high bar of scepticism to overcome. Prepare yourself for a long expensive journey that involves many trips to be together. 

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   45,288

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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Country-specific thread is moved from Off Topic to the African/Sub-Saharan regional forum, for highest concentration of potential responses.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Oliversmom Enthusiast

Oliversmom   250

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
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Please don't marry on the first visit.  For two reasons.  First of all it is for you.  You have talked online to this man but you don't know him in person.  Meet him.  Spend time with him and with his family.  Stay as long as  you can.  Then come back on subsequent visits.  This is your life and you need to be sure.  Second reason is for immigration.  Nigeria is a high fraud country.  I don't know any statistics but I think they like to see more time spent together.

 

My husband is from a high fraud country too.  I met him the first time and stayed 5 weeks.  The second time I went was three months and we got married.  Spending all that time together was very good for our relationship.  We had issues that came up like a health issue for me.  We did not agree on some issues. We had different outlooks on some things. And I got to see how he handled himself in difficult situations.  I got to see how we worked out our differences.  It showed me how our relationship was going to be and I was 1000% sure that getting married is the right thing.  And he got the visa and we are very happy together now.  

 

And believe me I know how exciting and nerve-wrecking it is too fly to another country and meet your love for the first time.  I will never forget that experience.  I remember when I saw him for the first time standing at the airport.  So go, enjoy the excitement, get to know this man, enjoy your time together.  And then think about marriage.

 

I wish you all the best

 

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