Strange child support situation

[Henry&Eliana 3]

My partner will be filing for citizenship based on marriage (3 year rule) after a k1 visa.

 

He was previously married and has a son. The mother is refusing to accept any child support. She wants nothing to do with him, so she wont sign any contract. She definitely wont write up a notarised letter for him.

 

My partner has still sent her money every month. Will simply proof of payment every month be sufficient in the citizenship interview?

 

Is there anything else we can do?

Edited January 13, 2020 by Henry&Eliana

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

28 minutes ago, Henry&Eliana said:

My partner will be filing for citizenship based on marriage (3 year rule) after a k1 visa.

 

He was previously married and has a son. The mother is refusing to accept any child support. She wants nothing to do with him, so she wont sign any contract. She definitely wont write up a notarised letter for him.

 

My partner has still sent her money every month. Will simply proof of payment every month be sufficient in the citizenship interview?

 

Is there anything else we can do?

I guess is an odd situation, so not sure... but it will help in proving he’s trying to do the right thing at least provided it’s the correct amount based on his earnings and deposited into his ex wife’s account (childs mothers name). 

[NikLR 13,227]

Court system. It's there for a reason.  

[Going through 5,671]

1 hour ago, Henry&Eliana said:

The mother is refusing to accept any child support.

 

1 hour ago, Henry&Eliana said:

My partner has still sent her money every month.

So....what exactly has she been doing with the monthly payments sent to her, then?  

 

Unless he's been willfully sending an extremely low amount, or willfully not providing support to his child at all, if he has proof of the payments sent (ie. bank statements), that's definitely a mark in his favour. 

 

There was no official custody/divorce/support arrangement drawn up to show a set amount expected (and received) monthly to coincide with his proof of payment?

 

 

[Henry&Eliana 3]

2 hours ago, NikLR said:

Court system. It's there for a reason.  

Unfortunately they won't allow the man to go to court to create a child support contract. The mother has to request it. At least in South Africa where the mother and son live.

[Henry&Eliana 3]

2 hours ago, Going through said:

 

So....what exactly has she been doing with the monthly payments sent to her, then?  

No idea. It gets transferred directly to her bank account, but she goes on vacation often. She is from a wealthy family and they provide most everything for her.

Quote

 

Unless he's been willfully sending an extremely low amount, or willfully not providing support to his child at all, if he has proof of the payments sent (ie. bank statements), that's definitely a mark in his favour. 

 

There was no official custody/divorce/support arrangement drawn up to show a set amount expected (and received) monthly to coincide with his proof of payment?

In the divorce agreement, it states that the matter will be decided in maintence court, then during the maintence hearing she withdrew the maintence request. So no there is no agreement, and we have bo way of getting an agreement as in South Africa the mother has to request for child support contract in court. 

 

He pays her the equivalent of $300 a month in Rands (south african money) which was what the mediator had advised was a fair amount. Life and income in South Africa is cheaper than in the USA.

 

Would monthly bank transfers be enough evidence at the citizenship interview? Even without an agreement of any form to show?

 

Edited January 13, 2020 by Henry&Eliana

[NikLR 13,227]

Are you sure on this? I would talk to a couple of lawyers in south africa about if he should be sending it to the other parent or go to court or putting the money into a fund for the child.  I think providing all the evidence that hes paying, that she requested no payment, that shes refused payment, etc.  If you can get a notarized letter from her would also be ideal.  

[Going through 5,671]

8 hours ago, Henry&Eliana said:

He pays her the equivalent of $300 a month in Rands (south african money) which was what the mediator had advised was a fair amount. Life and income in South Africa is cheaper than in the USA.

Do you have any paperwork from the mediator outlining any of this?  This is also a good piece of evidence to bring.

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

16 hours ago, Henry&Eliana said:

 

 

He pays her the equivalent of $300 a month in Rands (south african money) which was what the mediator had advised was a fair amount. Life and income in South Africa is cheaper than in the USA.

 

 

 

So your sending a little over 4,000 Rand a month and the average monthly earning is 21,000 a month so roughly 1/5 of average earnings? It may or may not be enough or fair I don’t know, maybe not if your ex is not working or on minimal wage.. 

 

not sure how the system works there, or the USA, but here it’s based on my earnings regardless of where that money is earnt...and the % - % of care... as a general rule if your % of care is zero it’s roughly 1/3 of your income at least.. 

 

is your hubby earning +/< $900 usd a month? If he’s earning well in excess it may be that he should up the amount irrespective of the low cost of living in SA, it can only help raise the standard of living for the child.. 

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Curious as to when the mediator advised the amount. Inflation in South Africa is noticeable and if it was say ten or even five years ago, there is a big real difference between what R4000 could buy then and what it buys now.  It doesn’t sound from what you said that he has annually inflation adjusted it. 

[Henry&Eliana 3]

Thanks everyone for your replies. We are still living in South Africa and are doing a k1 visa to marry in the states in April. Our interview is in 2 weeks. So luckily we still have time to correct things and get prepared to prove 3 years of payments. Getting a letter from the mediator is a good idea, thanks. His ex will not sign a letter for us so that's not an option. 

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

He needs to sort this out long term as well. Proof of child support will be required for his eventual naturalization application as well. 

[NikLR 13,227]

11 hours ago, Henry&Eliana said:

Thanks everyone for your replies. We are still living in South Africa and are doing a k1 visa to marry in the states in April. Our interview is in 2 weeks. So luckily we still have time to correct things and get prepared to prove 3 years of payments. Getting a letter from the mediator is a good idea, thanks. His ex will not sign a letter for us so that's not an option. 

Im lost.. i understood that he is filing for citizenship now... now its a k1 visa? What is it?

[Going through 5,671]

12 hours ago, Henry&Eliana said:

Thanks everyone for your replies. We are still living in South Africa and are doing a k1 visa to marry in the states in April. Our interview is in 2 weeks. So luckily we still have time to correct things and get prepared to prove 3 years of payments. Getting a letter from the mediator is a good idea, thanks. His ex will not sign a letter for us so that's not an option. 

In your original post, you said he was filing for citizenship?

 

Edited to add:  Or are you just looking further down the road when the time for citizenship comes around and asking questions now?

 

Edited to further add:  Just saw your posting history, looks like you are filing for the K1...get through that first, citizenship is still quite a ways away.

Edited January 15, 2020 by Going through