waiting another 6 months to see fiance

[mandajoy98 68]

1 hour ago, Russ&Caro said:

Speaking from my own experience, the first six months of marriage and life together in the USA were extremely stressful - more stressful than the 1.25 years of waiting for a visa/gc. Had we had something like what you're experiencing, i.e. accommodating a sibling's wedding and his/her attendance at our wedding, our marriage would likely have failed. The straw that breaks the camel's back. We like to think of relationships as mutual sacrifice, unconditional love, etc. But just like any other relationship, e.g. family members or co-workers, power dynamics come into play. Seems to me your spouse to be is exerting a large amount of power in your relationship right now. You might come to resent it in the future. You might consider a 3rd party (online therapist) to mediate right now.

I feel as if its a “who is sacrificing more” game and whoever wins gets what they want. If we are waiting 6-7 more months to see each other i would atleast want a wedding to look forward to and to plan. But is that too much of me? 

[Lemonslice 4,951]

8 minutes ago, mandajoy98 said:

I feel as if its a “who is sacrificing more” game and whoever wins gets what they want. If we are waiting 6-7 more months to see each other i would atleast want a wedding to look forward to and to plan. But is that too much of me? 

I think you guys should discuss what it means to immigrate. I'm sure you know, but what will it be in your lives?  No matter who sacrifices more, or less, or how often you can travel, missing some family/friends events will happen regularly from now on.  

What's the most important for you? For him?  What's realistic? 

 

Start from there and see what works for you two.

 

Best of luck.

 

 

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

13 hours ago, mandajoy98 said:

 Not only are we delaying his arrival for his sisters wedding, he wants me to change our potential wedding date (july 29) in Alaska so his sister can come, but if we pushed it to September for HER, most of our guests couldnt come because of work, school etc.  gotta love family huh 

Your fiancé is (or is going to be) your family now. I questioned why his sister’s wedding was being prioritized above your own in your previous thread, and I stand by that.

[LilyJ 1,258]

There is something very big on the table. What is more important to him? His sister and her wedding? Or you and your/his OWN wedding? His answer to this is huge to your future. As others have said, what happens if his visa is to expire before the sister's wedding? Would he just blow off the whole visa and make you start the whole process over, just for her wedding?

Edited January 3, 2020 by LilyJ

[jaysaldi 213]

21 minutes ago, MorganandMichael said:

Your fiancé is (or is going to be) your family now. I questioned why his sister’s wedding was being prioritized above your own in your previous thread, and I stand by that.

I totally agree. I think he should just come as soon as he gets the visa, then hope he gets AP by the end of June. If he doesn't, he doesn't.

 

The OP's compromise should be to get married on February 13, 14, 15, or whenever he arrives even though OP doesn't want to get married then.  I actually agree with the husband that waiting two weeks could make all the difference as to whether he gets AP before the sister's wedding or not. 

 

Pushing the  wedding into September if he arrives in July gets a little dicey because as I learned from personal experience, you really don't want to wait until the last thirty days before getting married, as it can take time to get the marriage certificate back, submit the paperwork, get the I-797 back, etc.  I know many people have waited up until or beyond 90 days to get married but I don't think it is wise.

[jaysaldi 213]

13 hours ago, mandajoy98 said:

 Not only are we delaying his arrival for his sisters wedding, he wants me to change our potential wedding date (july 29) in Alaska so his sister can come, but if we pushed it to September for HER, most of our guests couldnt come because of work, school etc.  gotta love family huh 

Aww, why can't his sister go to your wedding in Alaska on July 29? Is that date inconvenient for her? More inconvenient than you guys putting your entire lives on hold for 5-6 months just so he can attend her wedding?

 

No one wants to go to Alaska in September.

[Maria002 54]

13 hours ago, mandajoy98 said:

 Not only are we delaying his arrival for his sisters wedding, he wants me to change our potential wedding date (july 29) in Alaska so his sister can come, but if we pushed it to September for HER, most of our guests couldnt come because of work, school etc.  gotta love family huh 

 

I wonder why he doesn't ask his sister to move her wedding date instead for a later time so he is able to visit his sister after he gets the advanced parole. 

 

He ask you for things that are out of your control but he can't ask for it to his sister who could also change her wedding date?🤔

 

Maybe he is the kind of person who always do what their family ask him to do, or maybe he haven't  let them know your process took long time to the point it is now and the dates can't be changed as desired😪. If that is the case then let them know, otherwise they are just being selfish.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Maria002

[mandajoy98 68]

1 hour ago, jaysaldi said:

Aww, why can't his sister go to your wedding in Alaska on July 29? Is that date inconvenient for her? More inconvenient than you guys putting your entire lives on hold for 5-6 months just so he can attend her wedding?

 

No one wants to go to Alaska in September.

July in Alaska would be perfect for everyone besides his sister because she is a full time teacher back in Australia and doesnt think she can get time off. My fiance has made it clear he wants her there so bad in September but thats a) close to the 90 days, b) not gonna work for either of our parents c) it turns into gross weather in Alaska. All my family lives in Alaska and are willing to put the entire wedding together for us but hes being so stubborn.  I hate telling him to suck it up. 

[Boiler 45,930]

So brother has to wait 6 months yet when the boot is on the other foot she thinks she can not get the time off?

[LilyJ 1,258]

18 minutes ago, mandajoy98 said:

July in Alaska would be perfect for everyone besides his sister because she is a full time teacher back in Australia and doesnt think she can get time off. My fiance has made it clear he wants her there so bad in September but thats a) close to the 90 days, b) not gonna work for either of our parents c) it turns into gross weather in Alaska. All my family lives in Alaska and are willing to put the entire wedding together for us but hes being so stubborn.  I hate telling him to suck it up. 

Does he really NEED his sister there that badly, that he is willing to sacrifice both your parents’ attendance so that she can be there? This is so strange to me. My sister didn’t attend my wedding, and she lives in the same state as me. I didn’t care. I would rather my parents be there than my sibling

[NikLR 13,231]

Lady, put your foot down or be walked over forever. 

[KittyKat3072 235]

He's going to have to see reason and grow up. He's being incredibly selfish by putting his sister's schedule and his wants before yours as a couple. Especially after he already made you wait 6 months for his sister once. His risking his visa and his future with you by being self-centered and accommodating his sister so much. His priorities are wrong and it's not asking too much from you for him to be reasonable. 

There are some serious questions and convos that need to be had between you two before he moves to the States. J/s 🤷🏻‍♀️

 

She could just come see him in September after the wedding.

 

 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

13 hours ago, MorganandMichael said:

Your fiancé is (or is going to be) your family now. I questioned why his sister’s wedding was being prioritized above your own in your previous thread, and I stand by that.

Because he’s an Aussie male... why you think I married an American? 😂😂

[Kidayi 15]

On 1/1/2020 at 5:35 PM, Dale. said:

I did not mean to take over this thread.  I simply wanted to offer support to the OP.  As the delays and wait can be very hard.  

 

@Rob Beri most noa2s come thru within that time frame but not all.  There are still june, july, august filers still waiting.  Every case is different.  Unfortunately our case is one of them

How do you know what month they are processing applications (from the time sent.)like from what I understand they're still processing applications sent in from August. How do you know they are processing August applications? Is there a way to check? 

[Rob Beri 68]

17 minutes ago, Kidayi said:

How do you know what month they are processing applications (from the time sent.)like from what I understand they're still processing applications sent in from August. How do you know they are processing August applications? Is there a way to check? 

Because members from VisaJourney are updating their timeline. That is one of the ways to confirm what cases USCIS is currently working on. Currently people who filled in September are receiving their NOA 2, however, as noted some cases take longer.