The derailment exempt thread

[laylalex 7,293]

17 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Royally confused by the above, LL ma'am...

You need to brush up on your Henry VIII.

 

So.... I learned something this morning from one of my moles (i.e. friends). My ex, aka Voldemort aka Voldy aka the Guy Whose Netflix I Borrowed for a While, has decided that he has waited long enough to find the next Mrs. Voldy, specifically the next Mrs. Voldy who will be able to (and want to) procreate with him. He has a long term, long distance girlfriend who lives in the UK, but she doesn't want to move here, and she is ambivalent about having a child, with him or anyone else.

 

But he has found a solution! He and his best friend here (a woman) have decided they are both ready to be parents and because this is LA, they are going to have a baby as "platonic co-parents".   My mole tells me that Voldy was very clear that there would be no sex involved -- strictly artificial insemination. I told my husband and he said what, he wanks into a Baccarat crystal tumbler and then they use a gold turkey baster?  

 

This is so crazy, but hey, he always wanted to have a child. I know his best friend from before the divorce, and she's an intelligent, attractive woman, a bit younger than we are. I always liked her a lot. He could do a lot worse! I want to hate this more because it's so nutty, but at least this child will be wanted. I have no idea how his girlfriend will take this, but my moles are an effective bunch and I am sure I will hear soon.

 

More on platonic co-parenting: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/oct/31/i-wanted-to-meet-a-mate-and-have-a-baby-without-wasting-time-the-rise-of-platonic-co-parenting

[Bettie Page 118]

4 minutes ago, laylalex said:

 

 

But he has found a solution! He and his best friend here (a woman) have decided they are both ready to be parents and because this is LA, they are going to have a baby as "platonic co-parents".   My mole tells me that Voldy was very clear that there would be no sex involved -- strictly artificial insemination. I told my husband and he said what, he wanks into a Baccarat crystal tumbler and then they use a gold turkey baster?  

 

 

Was the platinum turkey baster not available?

[moxy 1,051]

4 minutes ago, laylalex said:

But he has found a solution! He and his best friend here (a woman) have decided they are both ready to be parents and because this is LA, they are going to have a baby as "platonic co-parents".   My mole tells me that Voldy was very clear that there would be no sex involved -- strictly artificial insemination.

I know from previous posts that he wasn't very nice to you. So on the one hand, I can't say I'm super happy for the dad-to-be. On the other hand... kids bring out a different side of people. He could turn out to be a great dad. Let's hope so anyway. The world needs less damaged children brought up by terrible parents.

[laylalex 7,293]

Just now, Bettie Page said:

Was the platinum turkey baster not available?

LOL! There's still time! I can always send him a link to one... He doesn't know that I know (as far as I know) so I was planning on writing him a note sending him and his friend best wishes on a successful.... implantation? What DO you say in these circumstances?

 

Just now, moxy said:

I know from previous posts that he wasn't very nice to you. So on the one hand, I can't say I'm super happy for the dad-to-be. On the other hand... kids bring out a different side of people. He could turn out to be a great dad. Let's hope so anyway. The world needs less damaged children brought up by terrible parents.

COVID has kind of mellowed him out after him losing his mind at the beginning of the pandemic. He texted me back in April 2020 if he could get the virus through the HVAC system in his building. I purposely did not reply to him for several hours because I loved the idea of him freaking out on the terrace outside of his apartment, afraid to go back inside. I am not always so nice!  Anyway, his friend's marriage split up during COVID, he asked her to move in so she'd have someone to ride out the pandemic with, and she has been (in my opinion) a great influence on him to be less awful. I don't know how she did it, but she did. (Maybe it really WAS me after all? ) Maybe he just needed to be loved by someone in an unromantic way.

[moxy 1,051]

14 minutes ago, laylalex said:

He texted me back in April 2020 if he could get the virus through the HVAC system in his building. I purposely did not reply to him for several hours because I loved the idea of him freaking out on the terrace outside of his apartment, afraid to go back inside.

LOL! That is my kind of mind-trip!

[TBoneTX 45,570]

Perhaps we can put our differences aside and agree that THIS is the most crucial website ever:

http://corndog.io

 

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,376]

On 6/12/2021 at 6:27 PM, laylalex said:

 

Layalex I went to Atl yesterday.  It always amazes me to see the money people shell out for these elite designer products

 

2 hours in line to get in the Gucci store. Dud standing in line with us has on what appears to be Gucci PJ pants and Gucci sneakers. Looks like he dressed at walmart. Well over 1300 bucks in the PJ's and ugly cheap looking sneakers. I just dont get it 

 

I laughed at these people until my wife picked out her Birthday present lol 

[Boiler 45,715]

On 6/12/2021 at 4:39 PM, laylalex said:

LOL! There's still time! I can always send him a link to one... He doesn't know that I know (as far as I know) so I was planning on writing him a note sending him and his friend best wishes on a successful.... implantation? What DO you say in these circumstances?

 

COVID has kind of mellowed him out after him losing his mind at the beginning of the pandemic. He texted me back in April 2020 if he could get the virus through the HVAC system in his building. I purposely did not reply to him for several hours because I loved the idea of him freaking out on the terrace outside of his apartment, afraid to go back inside. I am not always so nice!  Anyway, his friend's marriage split up during COVID, he asked her to move in so she'd have someone to ride out the pandemic with, and she has been (in my opinion) a great influence on him to be less awful. I don't know how she did it, but she did. (Maybe it really WAS me after all? ) Maybe he just needed to be loved by someone in an unromantic way.

I was wondering if here was any update?

 

And if your Sister knows, sounds like there is a script involved here.

[laylalex 7,293]

13 hours ago, Boiler said:

I was wondering if here was any update?

Yes, there is an update! I reached out the other day to say hello and I admit get a better idea if whether what I had been told was correct. I spent more time talking to... let's call her "Bella" after Bellatrix LeStrange, if my ex is Voldy aka Voldemort. (Like many other millennials, I have consumed way too much Harry Potter in my lifetime.) Bella is actually a lovely human being and not an evil witch at all, which is notable if only because she is best friends with my ex-husband, who is a toad.  

 

Anyway, neither of them were particularly surprised to hear from me, and Bella said she wanted to call sooner but Voldy thought it would hurt my feelings. 🙄 Voldy did a little vamping along the lines of, I just don't want you to feel like you missed your chance, darling, etc. (We tried for years and had a miscarriage about 6 months before we split up for good.) But essentially he confirmed what my mole told me (he knew who the mole was before I even opened my mouth, since apparently Bella told exactly one person, who was the person who told me, and in conjunction with her choice of my ex as her co-parent, who knows what that actually says about her judgment). Yes, they are trying now, and are working with a clinic in Beverly Hills for the whole IUI process. They are hoping to conceive over the summer.

 

Bella sounds really excited, and she's younger than he and I are (and we're not old) and in great health according to the doctors. She shouldn't have a hard time at all, she's been told. I am still so curious about all of this! Personally, I think I would need to be in a romantic relationship with the father of my child, but apparently she doesn't. She wants a baby while she's still fairly young so she isn't 60 years old and watching her child(ren?) walk across a high school graduation stage. The man she thought she was going to make a life with bailed before they got around to starting a family (and promptly knocked up his new partner, of course). She loves Voldy in a non-romantic way, and he has the financial wherewithal to support both of them, or just the child. She's content, and that's what's important. I think she'll be a great mom. Voldy? Who knows. Maybe he will be redeemed as @moxysaid earlier.

 

Yes, I know this is nuts, but I am just amused by all of it. (Al is less so, I think he wants Voldy miserable until the very end times, when the Four Horsemen ride out, the Armies of Heaven arrive, etc.).

[moxy 1,051]

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Maybe he will be redeemed as @moxysaid earlier.

To be clear, I said I hoped.

 

But that sounds promising. And who knows, perhaps Bella can hook you up with a sweet sweet Nimbus 2000!

[Boiler 45,715]

Please keep us updated on developments

[laylalex 7,293]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Please keep us updated on developments

I will! This is far more interesting than anything going on in my own life. Today's highlights will include collecting a book I ordered (support your local bookseller!) and awaiting further blood test results. We're still trying to get to the bottom of whats wrong with me. Besides being oversensitive and anxiety-ridden!

[Boiler 45,715]

3 hours ago, laylalex said:

I will! This is far more interesting than anything going on in my own life. Today's highlights will include collecting a book I ordered (support your local bookseller!) and awaiting further blood test results. We're still trying to get to the bottom of whats wrong with me. Besides being oversensitive and anxiety-ridden!

The bar has been set, you need to get your act together.

 

[laylalex 7,293]

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

The bar has been set, you need to get your act together.

 

True! I did get my results back just now but I am waiting to hear from the doctor what they mean. They are encouraging because my white blood cell count and c-reactive proteins are both down, and nearing normal levels. But I am still in what is often crippling pain, like last night. I couldn't even open the closet door because of it. Doctor told me yesterday than another round of steroids would work, but if I need to see the rheumo, he wants me unwell and displaying symptoms. So until I know what his recommendation is, I have to sit tight and suffer a bit more. I did get some stronger pain relievers though, to be used judiciously.

[TBoneTX 45,570]

9 hours ago, laylalex said:

Today's highlights will include collecting a book I ordered (support your local bookseller!) and awaiting further blood test results.

You've got no self-control, and you don't WANT any, no LL ma'am!

Shameless party-animal!  Shameless!!!