The derailment exempt thread

[Steeleballz 7,550]

16 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

You can donate it to me. As of yesterday I have to put a crown on one of my 7 year old's front teeth. 

 

 

 

  I'll ask my son, but he's probably going to say no. 

[TBoneTX 45,571]

Thought for the Day, see man:

We can pick our friends, and we can pick our nose, but we can't wipe our friends on the furniture.

[TBoneTX 45,571]

Just got a spam e-mail from Raging Bull Casino, titled "Claim your free $50 chip!  No deposit needed!"

 

This bears witness to this truth of life:  "When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty."  And it sounds as though the raging bull made a deposit.

Edited January 23, 2021 by TBoneTX

[Dashinka 24,628]

Where do folks from the Atlanta area learn how to drive?

[Crtcl Rice Theory 2,432]

14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Just got a spam e-mail from Raging Bull Casino, titled "Claim your free $50 chip!  No deposit needed!"

 

This bears witness to this truth of life:  "When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty."  And it sounds as though the raging bull made a deposit.

I am still willing to sponsor a bad-dad-pun wing of the VisaJourney if it will guarantee that I don't have to read them here. Tell me where to send the check.

Edited January 23, 2021 by CanAm1980

[TBoneTX 45,571]

11 hours ago, CanAm1980 said:

Tell me where to send the check.

Hmmm... upvotes count.  Donate generously, and eventually it will be seen whether they're lavished acceptably for sponsorship.

[Crtcl Rice Theory 2,432]

3 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Hmmm... upvotes count.  Donate generously, and eventually it will be seen whether they're lavished acceptably for sponsorship.

A bit of a conundrum: if I upvote bad puns, I move toward sponsorship and eventually meet the goal of removing them, but by upvoting I encourage bad-dad-pun behavior. 

[laylalex 7,293]

Speaking of dad jokes, I was subjected to this one last night.

 

Christians, Jews and Muslims have been at war with each other so often throughout  history but the Hindus have never had any beef.

 

(This was met with an appropriate silence.)

[Crtcl Rice Theory 2,432]

5 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Speaking of dad jokes, I was subjected to this one last night.

 

Christians, Jews and Muslims have been at war with each other so often throughout  history but the Hindus have never had any beef.

 

(This was met with an appropriate silence.)

I am so dissapointed, I really thought there was hope for you. 

[laylalex 7,293]

Do they give new fathers joke books at the hospital? I swear he wasn't this bad when I met him. Worst I can remember is years ago, me telling him about a guy I was dating who I really liked, and I said the guy was really into me as a person, and he said yeah, I bet he got really into you as a person. 🙄

 

To be fair, if this is his greatest sin, I can live with it.

Edited January 24, 2021 by laylalex

[TBoneTX 45,571]

18 hours ago, CanAm1980 said:

A bit of a conundrum: if I upvote bad puns, I move toward sponsorship and eventually meet the goal of removing them, but by upvoting I encourage bad-dad-pun behavior. 

Then perhaps quit conun-drumming and upvote as though sponsorship depends on it.  

[Ban Hammer 13,419]

and a dad joke for layla

==========================================

Did you hear about the monkeys that shared an Amazon account?

They were prime-mates.

[laylalex 7,293]

That was painful and you made me cry.

 

I am working on blotting them out at home. He told me one the other night and I have completely forgotten --

 

Oh no, now I remember. An imam, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The phlebotomist tilts his head in disbelief and opens his mouth as if to ask a question. The rabbit cuts him off, saying, "I think I might be a Type O."

 

It took a lot of self-control not to walk out of the room and slam the door behind me.

[Steeleballz 7,550]

18 minutes ago, laylalex said:

That was painful and you made me cry.

 

I am working on blotting them out at home. He told me one the other night and I have completely forgotten --

 

Oh no, now I remember. An imam, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The phlebotomist tilts his head in disbelief and opens his mouth as if to ask a question. The rabbit cuts him off, saying, "I think I might be a Type O."

 

It took a lot of self-control not to walk out of the room and slam the door behind me.

 

      They say T-Bone wouldn't even repeat that one.  He would just tell it once.

[TBoneTX 45,571]

A man opened his refrigerator door and was surprised to see a live rabbit inside.

"What are you doing here?" he asked the rabbit.

"This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" asked the rabbit.

"Yes," said the man.

"Well, I'm just Westing," said the rabbit.