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The derailment exempt thread

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Steeleballz Mentor

Steeleballz   7,550

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On 10/10/2020 at 3:23 PM, laylalex said:

Wedding in two weeks! Alex asked what I'd like as my wedding present. I said, hmmm, a nice piece of jewelry, I'll send you an idea or two.

 

So I sent him this:

 

https://www.langantiques.com/art-deco-75-carat-multi-color-natural-sapphire-and-diamond-necklace.html

 

I see it as an investment -- we could always unmount all the gems and stuff them in our underwear when violent roving gangs of Antifa come to eat the rich in the coming months and we have to flee. :D 

 

        Wow. Free shipping too!!

   

995507-quote-moderation-in-all-things-an

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laylalex
laylalex

Well, the die is cast. 15 years, 1 month and 2 days ago, I peeked over the back of a sofa at a boring party and found a tall, dark-haired guy squinting to read a magazine in low light and drinking out

Voice of Reason
Voice of Reason

To all my VJ friends and acquaintances, I wish apologize for a link I inadvertently posted last week.  It was about Hunter, and the thread title was something about p0rnhub.  When I posted the link, I

Neonred
Neonred

Just returned from a short hop to Key West to pick up "groceries" at the "European Market".  European my #######.  It's an Uzbek store, but close enough for my wife.   Discovered a new game

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   45,089

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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4 hours ago, Ban Hammer said:

the rub forum about 10 years ago disproved the above

Has it been THAT long?  Gary disappeared only in Feb. 2014.

Slim still pops in about once every year or two.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Nature Boy 2.0 Veteran

Nature Boy 2.0   8,370

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13 hours ago, Burnt Reynolds said:

I've got some reading to do...

Just search Kip and Rub

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laylalex Veteran

laylalex   7,284

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Family, ugh, weddings, ugh. Even a cere-mini. Anyone have any dumb jokes to break me out of this? I'd even take a dad joke and give an upvote for it.

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Nature Boy 2.0 Veteran

Nature Boy 2.0   8,370

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46 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Family, ugh, weddings, ugh. Even a cere-mini. Anyone have any dumb jokes to break me out of this? I'd even take a dad joke and give an upvote for it.

Baiting. Reported.. very very obvious baiting 

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Boiler Grand Master

Boiler   45,402

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Voice of Reason Grand Master

Voice of Reason   10,298

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3 hours ago, Boiler said:

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Probably my favorite joke of all time.  I wish I got paid as much as a certain simian for repeating this one...

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   45,089

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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On 10/12/2020 at 7:27 PM, laylalex said:

Anyone have any dumb jokes to break me out of this? I'd even take a dad joke and give an upvote for it.

No dumb jokes; just excellent ones, as always, see LL ma'am.

 

How many men does it take to open a beer?
  None.  It should be opened by the time she brings it.
   ----------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
  Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
   ----------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
  It's one of those "evolutionary things" that enables them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
   ----------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
  When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
   ----------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
  You don't.  There's a clock on the oven.
   ----------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?
  The dog, of course.  He'll shut up once you let him in.
   ----------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
  A woman who won't do what she's told.
   --------------------------------------
What's the correct answer when your wife asks "What's on the TV?"
    "Dust!"

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   45,089

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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On 10/13/2020 at 12:26 AM, Voice of Reason said:

I wish I got paid as much as a certain simian

If you have to wish, it'll never happen.  The one Hail Mary is via upvotes.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   13,282

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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On 10/12/2020 at 7:27 PM, laylalex said:

Family, ugh, weddings, ugh. Even a cere-mini. Anyone have any dumb jokes to break me out of this? I'd even take a dad joke and give an upvote for it.

121165705_3701378166596321_4950930613083593839_n.png.e00f853127fa765a00a6796fd5e8def1.png

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Dashinka Grand Master

Dashinka   24,438

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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Is it snowing yet?

Visa Received : 2014-04-04 (K1 - see timeline for details)

US Entry : 2014-09-12

POE: Detroit

Marriage : 2014-09-27

I-765 Approved: 2015-01-09

I-485 Interview: 2015-03-11

I-485 Approved: 2015-03-13

Green Card Received: 2015-03-24 Yeah!!!

I-751 ROC Submitted: 2016-12-20

I-751 NOA Received:  2016-12-29

I-751 Biometrics Appt.:  2017-01-26

I-751 Interview:  2018-04-10

I-751 Approved:  2018-05-04

N400 Filed:  2018-01-13

N400 Biometrics:  2018-02-22

N400 Interview:  2018-04-10

N400 Approved:  2018-04-10

Oath Ceremony:  2018-06-11 - DONE!!!!!!!

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