The derailment exempt thread

[Boiler 45,374]

14 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Here's a general question for everyone:

 

This morning I got a Facebook friend request from someone I didn't know, but we are (apparently) in the same FB group together. The group has, from what I can tell, a lot of overlap with VJ itself. Anyway, this person is clearly married to a USC and lives somewhere there is a lot of visa fraud (not giving specifics). His last status update I could see on FB was a pic of him and his wife with him saying something like, "So proud to call her my Mrs.!!!" And let's just say there is a bit of an attractiveness/age gap between them that was very apparent. I cannot think why this person would be reaching out to me -- I think I have only ever liked posts in the group, never made a post. If it were you, would you just delete the request or respond to the guy, tell him to stop skeeving on random women on the internet and then block him? I am sure I can't be the only woman in that group he's done this to. 

 

Thoughts appreciated! I am not on FB much, really only to take part in a couple of groups, only one of them having to do with immigration. I only accept friend requests from people I have ever known in real life, so this is an obvious delete.

I do not accept friends requests at all, I have to have a personal account to run my other two, they made you have one. And those they can join without asking me.

 

Well I do not follow your posts on here just wanted to make that absolutely clear, but I have seen you respond very sympathetically to threads which Missleman would call Tales of the Greencard. So I am guessing that might be a connection.

[laylalex 7,284]

Yeah, I learned my lesson a long time ago about friend requests from randos and making myself too clearly identifiable on the internet. It was not a fun time.

 

I just wonder whether to tell this guy to be honest with himself or just delete. Normally, the friend requests I get are friends of friends who like whatever I may have commented on our mutual friend's page. That, I understand. It's not creepy, I just don't accept them. This is just... I mean.... DUDE you post that you just celebrated your 1st wedding anniversary so why are you sending friend requests to other women, especially when the woman in question has (on the limited info visible to strangers) indicated she is ENGAGED on her own page? I mean, I know the answer: delete. Don't engage. (I remember this was a good instruction to myself when I was internet dating briefly and I got gross messages. Don't engage or you will get even grosser stuff.) Yes, men are pigs! Well, not all of them. But this one is. 

 

I don't recall liking any of this person's posts about anything so I guess he just went through profiles in the group and picked out the women whose pics he liked most.  

[Boiler 45,374]

I used to ignore them and kept on getting reminders so just delete them.

 

It is Facebook not the real world.

 

There is a lady who has a cabin near me and I remember her telling me of her time finishing her PHD in maybe Algeria?, forget which one, anyway she is reasonably attractive and I do not know her age but not in her 20's and she was telling me about the guys who hang around the Internet Cafe's looking for basically a ticket out, they had a specific name which I now forget. Anyway big business and not just the US, we see it quite a bit on here. 

 

She was worldly wise and quite aware of what was going on, some are not.

[laylalex 7,284]

I guess it's just a delete, and I think I might leave the group until we actually file for AOS. If I get one, I assume I will get more.

 

I sent an email last night to Boris Farage because I was concerned he hadn't responded to my tagging him in a post, which I thought might lure him back on here. (I miss my old flyer of red flags. ) I had thought it was just the woman trouble (i.e. too many of them) that was keeping him away but it turns out he broke a few ribs skiing in Aspen and has not been doing too well. The woman trouble isn't making things any better and he's pretty down, so he's staying away from VJ and social media for the time being. I hope he won't hate it when he comes back on here and sees that I have said he is actually pretty nice in his e-mails!!! 

 

@Boris Farage, when you see this, I hope you are feeling better. 😘

[Boiler 45,374]

Does the tagging work, I have been tagged a few times but never seen a notification.

[laylalex 7,284]

 

8 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Does the tagging work, I have been tagged a few times but never seen a notification.

Yes, I get emails when I get tagged. Here, I'll tag myself: @laylalex

 

I'll post a pic of the notification I get.

 

Hmmmm that didn't work tagging myself. I'll check for old emails. I know I get them.

Edited January 7, 2020 by laylalex

[TBoneTX 45,076]

7 hours ago, yuna628 said:

We aren't all maladjusted unsocialized weirdos.

If this is true, I'm completely crushed, and life is no longer worth living.

[laylalex 7,284]

Okay, so I have been advised to expect dinner to involve uncured ham and artisanal cheese, and that Alex will definitely be cooking something, not just unwrapping a sandwich he picked up on the way home. I appreciate the effort, as I have spent much of the day tying up loose ends over here for the move. Movers come on Thursday afternoon.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

As to the FB friend request thing...

 

I don't add anyone unless:

 

A) I know them well

Or

2) We have at least 25 mutual friends.

 

And even at that, it is time to cull my tiny list of friends.  I'm using the criteria of: If we haven't spoken in the past 12 months (PM, thread replies, etc.), then you will be deleted. 

 

The only exceptions are the few liberal friends who haven't already unfriended me (only a couple that I am aware of thus far), because I do not believe that friends should unfriend over stoopid politics.  I will continue to argue my viewpoints as professionally as I can, while reading and trying to understand THEIR viewpoints.   But IMO, those who have unfriended me because we don't agree politically are weak individuals, and it's probably best that we are no longer friends.

 

TLDR: If I don't know you well, I won't add you as a FV friend.  Nor LinkedIn.

[TBoneTX 45,076]

4 hours ago, laylalex said:

uncured ham

I just bought a cured ham.  Wonder what it had?

[laylalex 7,284]

What is an FV friend?

 

So I got my homecooked meal featuring artisanal cheese and uncured ham. Let's just say that while I appreciate the effort, I wasn't expecting or terribly thrilled by a Lean Pocket.

Alex thought it was extremely funny. He had the meatball Hot Pockets which he deemed delicious, even though they gave him indigestion. (He deserves it.)

 

I ate the Lean Pocket (just one) because I was hungry. He will pay for this!

[TBoneTX 45,076]

4 hours ago, laylalex said:

Alex will definitely be cooking something, not just unwrapping a sandwich he picked up on the way home

Taking the long view, this is a horrible precedent.

This is dangerously -- nay, perilously -- mistaken strategy on his part.

He might never recover.

This is grave.

Immediate intervention involving Manly Counseing is called for.

If it has been emphasized and understood that this is absolutely, undeniably a one-time anomaly, I withdraw my concerns.

[TBoneTX 45,076]

1 minute ago, laylalex said:

I wasn't expecting [...] a Lean Pocket.

Ah, thank the heavens!  He is redeemed in our eyes!

[TBoneTX 45,076]

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

What is an FV friend?

Probably an FB friend, camouflaged by a one-key-away fingergraphical error.

4 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I ate the Lean Pocket (just one) because I was hungry.

If you ate just one, you weren't hungry, sorry Dear.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

9 hours ago, laylalex said:

What is an FV friend?

 

Pro-lingo code for FB.  You must NOT be in the inner circle, since you had to ask.  I am not allowed to reveal more, sorry.