Ex has his Green Card but has been cheating on me and living in Mexico.

[Olivia85 1]

Hello,

 

I wanted to see if I could get advise on my situation. I married a man from Mexico. Unfortunately, I am still married to him. I will be filing for divorce next month. He left me 2 1/2 years ago because he was cheating on me with someone from work. During this time he has been living in Tijuana, Mexico. He crosses to work in San Diego. He has stayed here at my house off and on since he can’t be crossing back and forth from Mexico to the US because he gets questioned. He is still on the lease but pays no rent. Yes, I’ve been stupid enough to still provide a home for this ####### to live in even after everything he has done. We have talked many times and he has told me during this time he is trying to work on himself and become a better person because he still wants to work on our marriage (Lies). Well I found out two weeks ago that he has been in a relationship with someone else in Mexico for the past year and a half. I really do not want this man to get his citizenship. He doesn’t deserve it. I need some advise. I’m trying to get him off the lease and he is no longer staying here. This man has just taken advantage of me. I feel used at this point. We have been married for almost 10 years and I regret not filing for divorce sooner. 
 

Thank you.

Edited December 28, 2019 by Olivia85

[Boiler 45,558]

US Citizenship? That has nothing to do with you, how long has he been a LPR, if more than 5 years he can apply now.

 

From a practical point of view do you not want to be free of your sponsorship requirements?

[Olivia85 1]

Yes, he has had his permanent resident card for more than 5 years now. I just don’t think he deserves any of it. Not after everything he has done. 
 

Of course. I want zero association with him. 

[Boiler 45,558]

Well just from an Immigration perspective and this is an Immigration site, him naturalising is good for you.

[SalishSea 17,847]

2 minutes ago, Olivia85 said:

I just don’t think he deserves any of it. Not after everything he has done. 

Whether he "deserves" any permanent resident/citizenship benefit is not of concern to USCIS.  They only care about whether he is legally eligible.

[Going through 5,671]

4 minutes ago, Olivia85 said:

Yes, he has had his permanent resident card for more than 5 years now. I just don’t think he deserves any of it. Not after everything he has done. 
 

Of course. I want zero association with him. 

Immigration-wise, there's nothing you can do about it unless you have documented evidence that he entered into the marriage with fraudulent intentions. 

A hard thing to now prove since previously you both swore it was a bonafide marriage in any previous filings (ie. CR-1, AOS, ROC etc.).

 

Him cheating later on, while shows he was a crappy husband,  is not showing immigration fraud, though.

 

Divorce and move on with your life, that's all you can really do now.  His route to citizenship does not include you as he can file based on residency regardless of marital status.  With divorce you will have zero association with him (unless there are children involved).

 

Whether he "deserves" citizenship or not, is up to USCIS not you.

[Crazy Cat 41,904]

21 hours ago, Olivia85 said:

Hello,

 

I wanted to see if I could get advise on my situation. I married a man from Mexico. Unfortunately, I am still married to him. I will be filing for divorce next month. He left me 2 1/2 years ago because he was cheating on me with someone from work. During this time he has been living in Tijuana, Mexico. He crosses to work in San Diego. He has stayed here at my house off and on since he can’t be crossing back and forth from Mexico to the US because he gets questioned. He is still on the lease but pays no rent. Yes, I’ve been stupid enough to still provide a home for this ####### to live in even after everything he has done. We have talked many times and he has told me during this time he is trying to work on himself and become a better person because he still wants to work on our marriage (Lies). Well I found out two weeks ago that he has been in a relationship with someone else in Mexico for the past year and a half. I really do not want this man to get his citizenship. He doesn’t deserve it. I need some advise. I’m trying to get him off the lease and he is no longer staying here. This man has just taken advantage of me. I feel used at this point. We have been married for almost 10 years and I regret not filing for divorce sooner. 
 

Thank you.

It would be to your benefit that he DOES gain citizenship. That is one of the few ways a sponsor is relieved from "the hook" of supporting an immigrant. 

Edited December 29, 2019 by missileman

[NikLR 13,227]

 

~~moved to effects of major changes with other like topics from AOS family based.~~

[NikLR 13,227]

So you stayed in a somewhat relationship with someone after you caught them cheating, haven't divorced, and are upset that they are still using you?  I think you're probably more upset with yourself than anything else.  You really can't do anything about the fact that your husband (soon to be ex husband finally?) was smarter than you about his immigration plans than you.  If being a bad person meant that people couldn't be US citizens, we'd have a much lower population than we currently do.  

 

Highly suggest you cut him out of your life and move on.  Do better for yourself.  Go to the gym.  Eat healthy.  Adopt a dog.  Go back to school.  Make new friends.... It's the new year! Try something to put your life onto a happier path and forget about those that "did you wrong."  Karma may come for them one day and if it doesn't, you've surrounded yourself with good instead of negative. 

[JFH 12,190]

10 hours ago, Olivia85 said:

Yes, he has had his permanent resident card for more than 5 years now. I just don’t think he deserves any of it. Not after everything he has done. 
 

Of course. I want zero association with him. 

Immigration status is not a prize. At the time he applied for it he was deemed eligible and it was granted based on his marriage to you. You wanted it as much as he did at that time.

 

The marriage didn’t work out (along with 50% of all marriages these days) so move on. His status is of no concern to you now. He’s an adult and you are not his sitter. But citizenship would actually be beneficial to you as it ends your sponsorship obligation. 

 

You are acting like you have done him a huge favor by marrying him and thus opening the door to him being able to live in the US. In reality it was exactly what *you* wanted at the time. Let him do you a huge favor and naturalize so you are no longer on the hook for him.  

 

[Quarknase 1,072]

You have been married to this man for over 10 years, he obtained the Greencard over 5 years ago, and the first thing that comes to mind is that you want to take Greencard and possibly Citizenship away from him? How salty. Have you also been telling him for the past 10 years how grateful he is supposed to be because you gave him access to the US?

 

Your marriage lasted longer than probably a third (if not more) of domestic marriages. Makes one wonder if some USCs only sponsor spouses because they think the foreign spouse owes them for the rest of their life and doesn't have the same right to mess up a marriage that a USC has. Cheating and false promises happen every.single.day in the US.

[Olivia85 1]

There’s a lot of ignorance in some of the things that are being said in these posts that I am reading. I did not come on here for that. I am not acting like I’ve done him a huge favor and in anyway have I ever thrown it in his face that he should be grateful for everything he has gained through this. I’m also not salty about anything. I can’t with these comments 🤦🏻‍♀️  I’m a good person and none of you know the life I have lived next to this man so you cannot make comments and go based off of a small post I made. Making ignorant comments when you don’t even know me, my life and my situation is not ok. I came on here for intelligent feedback. Yes, I have been lied to, deceived and betrayed. I’m a human being and it hurts. Thankfully, I have an amazing support system who have helped me so much through this whole process and I’m moving on. 

[laylalex 7,289]

You know, I understand your impulse. About two weeks after my husband walked out on me after flinging lies at me about my supposed infidelity and accusing me of "hoodwinking" him about my ability to have a baby (infertility isn't always the woman's fault, I'm just saying), I found out he was applying for citizenship under the five year rule. I was furious -- he'd just pulled the rug out from under my life and now he thinks he's entitled to this? He had made my life a living hell for years through emotional abuse and now he gets to be a citizen too? I wanted to stop him if I could. But I spoke with an attorney and found out that there really was nothing I could do. God, it hurt! It still hurts sometimes, especially now that I know that he's thinking about bringing over a fiance at some point from his home country.

 

So I sucked it up and focused my energy on getting the divorce and making a new life for myself. It has been almost 3 years since he left me and my life is starting to be the one I always wanted to have. Take the pain and the anger and the feelings of mistrust and abandonment and plough them into a force to transform yourself out of this toxic relationship. There is nothing you can do about his citizenship -- you entered the marriage in good faith, and so did he, presumably. I know it hurts, I know you feel betrayed. But the best thing you can do is walk away from the disaster with your head held high and live your very best life without this loser. ❤️ 

[SalishSea 17,847]

24 minutes ago, Olivia85 said:

There’s a lot of ignorance in some of the things that are being said in these posts that I am reading. I did not come on here for that. I am not acting like I’ve done him a huge favor and in anyway have I ever thrown it in his face that he should be grateful for everything he has gained through this. I’m also not salty about anything. I can’t with these comments 🤦🏻‍♀️  I’m a good person and none of you know the life I have lived next to this man so you cannot make comments and go based off of a small post I made. Making ignorant comments when you don’t even know me, my life and my situation is not ok. I came on here for intelligent feedback. Yes, I have been lied to, deceived and betrayed. I’m a human being and it hurts. Thankfully, I have an amazing support system who have helped me so much through this whole process and I’m moving on. 

People are reacting mostly to your statement that he doesn't "deserve" citizenship due to his infidelity.  Immigration doesn't work that way.

[NikLR 13,227]

33 minutes ago, Olivia85 said:

There’s a lot of ignorance in some of the things that are being said in these posts that I am reading. I did not come on here for that. I am not acting like I’ve done him a huge favor and in anyway have I ever thrown it in his face that he should be grateful for everything he has gained through this. I’m also not salty about anything. I can’t with these comments 🤦🏻‍♀️  I’m a good person and none of you know the life I have lived next to this man so you cannot make comments and go based off of a small post I made. Making ignorant comments when you don’t even know me, my life and my situation is not ok. I came on here for intelligent feedback. Yes, I have been lied to, deceived and betrayed. I’m a human being and it hurts. Thankfully, I have an amazing support system who have helped me so much through this whole process and I’m moving on. 

The best advice is the one you're doing, move on.    

 

You posted on a public forum about making sure your husband can't get citizenship and you didn't expect people who understand immigration to comment?  We aren't your friends.  While we understand your situation and many people on this forum have even been through similar life stories, we know the law regarding these types of items.  While people jump to conclusions, as they always will, take things with a grain of salt.  Not everyone will agree with you, you don't need a support system, you just need to believe in yourself. Walk away and be happy.  Each person in your life gives you a learning tool, even people like your husband who has lied to you.  How you learn and if you learn is up to you.