Rante Macabre

[TBoneTX 44,690]

8 hours ago, Asia said:

Why Bath & Body Works doesn't ship their products to Poland?

Because they cost $Many, oj tak.

And don't Poles bathe on a different schedule than do gringos, oj huh?

[Ontarkie 14,133]

11 hours ago, Asia said:

Morning rant...

Why Bath & Body Works doesn't ship their products to Poland? Yes, we can buy the originals over here too, but they're like twice the original price! I mean hello! How could that be?! Seems like we're richer than the Americans.

Not.

Yeah, I'm in the mood to rant about it, since I'm about to start the last of the body creams I got last year and it makes me depressed.

😎

 

The stores here in the US are shutting down many locations.

[DaveAndAnastasia 2,082]

2 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Everybody:  It helps to accept that everything costs $Many, that's it man.

Sometimes it's $Many, sometimes it's €Many, ₽Many, £Many, ¥Many, or ₩Many ...

[TBoneTX 44,690]

The U.S. -- being the headquarters of the planet's premier POTS emporium -- is the center of the world, so everything costs $Many, AmeriCentric position on the matter man.

[TBoneTX 44,690]

Thrilling Friday report, see man:

 

Wrapped up yet another week of record-breaking sales of Pre-Owned Toilet Seats, buy yours today man.

 

Mowed full lawn straight through without stopping, intrepid we man.

Started at Many p.m., cool of the evening man.

Finished (including blowing débris) in Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2+2+2+1) minutes, efficient we man.

 

Got a great bid for replacing back fence that blew over on Wed. morn, only $Many man.

Share-fencing neighbor readily agreed to split the cost, fair dude man.

Plus, he wants to hire fence guy to repair his fence gate, serendipity man.

 

Two ESs available on Sat., although not geographically desirable man.   

[cdneh 3,112]

Informed delivery this morning said I had 5 packages coming today. Post lady, a substitute who was very very late, brought me four. Tracking still showed out for delivery. Right up until I had a further email telling me it is ready to pick up?!? 20 miles return trip tomorrow to pick up blessed printer ink 

 

I've just finished my lawn as well. Neighbor over the road ran his ride-on over it a week ago, as it was over a foot tall when I came home. No way was my dinky battery mower dealing with that. I am trying to keep ahead of it from now on. Weather permitting.

 

Himself's transplant team sent me a nice card today. I am a bit confused. First, in that this fantastic clinician has handwriting I could read.  He said he will miss us, however..."don't be a stranger"? Signed it Joe? I mean I know the man has a first name, but we've never called him that.

 

In order for me not to be a stranger, I'd need another Husband, and a Veteran, in need of a liver TX. Unlikely to all of those. 

 

 

[TBoneTX 44,690]

40 minutes ago, cdneh said:

Informed delivery this morning said I had Many packages coming today. Post lady [...] brought me Many.

Use P-math and everything works out perfectly, si Eh ma'am!   

However, if they promised Many and brought Many, call them Uninformed Delivery, si Eh ma'am.

42 minutes ago, cdneh said:

blessed printer ink

St. HP is the patron saint of this, si Eh ma'am.

43 minutes ago, cdneh said:

I've just finished my lawn as well.

Great minds work alike, see message above Eh ma'am.

43 minutes ago, cdneh said:

this fantastic clinician has handwriting I could read.

With the distinct exception of Dr. Denton Cooley, the quality of the physician is in directly inverse proportion to the legibility of his handwriting, medical truth Eh ma'am.

45 minutes ago, cdneh said:

don't be a stranger

Then be strangest or merely strange, perfect solution Eh ma'am.

46 minutes ago, cdneh said:

the man has a first name, but we've never called him that.

He wants to be perceived as a regular Joe off the street, that's it Eh ma'am.

47 minutes ago, cdneh said:

In order for me not to be a stranger, I'd need another Husband, and a Veteran, in need of a liver TX.

Find a stowaway in a package that needs to be de-livered, got it first try Eh ma'am.

48 minutes ago, cdneh said:

Unlikely to all of those. 

Almost as good, if not better, is to order yourself a new Pre-Owned Toilet Seat and upvote all our posts, si and whee Eh ma'am!   

[TBoneTX 44,690]

50 minutes ago, cdneh said:

my lawn [...] was over a foot tall when I came home.

(We forgot to propose the solution to this, apologies Eh ma'am)

Get a goat, si ma'am!

Ontarklar probably has one in her home zoo, One Call Does All ma'am.

[TBoneTX 44,690]

With use of a spatula, we are eating crunchy* peanut butter straight from its jar, efficient we man.

     *creamy is worthless, gag man

[TBoneTX 44,690]

Scintillating Saturday conversation, yawn man.  Therefore, man:

 

Saturday ES report, see man:

 

We attended the only 2 ESs within reach on Saturday, si and whee man.

The take, see man:

  -- silk tie; flashlight; 2 small pump-bottles eyeglass-cleaner; 2 packs foam snack-plates; 

       half-bottle windshield fluid; scissors = $Many ($2x2x2+2+1), OK man

  -- Many-pack ([2+1]-pack) globe bulbs; pack of coffee filters; canned peas; 2 boxes spaghetti; 

       Morton salt = $Many ($2+1), steal man

Total = $Many ($2x2x2x2-2)

 

 

 

[TBoneTX 44,690]

Scintillating Sunday repartee, yawn man.

 

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

Fence dudes working since Many a.m. to replace shared fence with back neighbor, work they man.

Might even finish today, optimistic end of the timing estimate man.

 

Mrs. T-B. has disappeared, perhaps visiting the Rojo she man.

The rubias are on standby, albeit with little time before "America's Funniest Videos" comes on man.

[TBoneTX 44,690]

 

Here is convenient ordering information for your Pre-Owned Toilet Seat on this week's National Days, order today man:

 

Mon., May Many'th

International Respect for Chickens Day = respect your chickens by buying yourself a POTS

World Give Day = (duh) give (duh) the world a (duh) POTS

 

Tues., May Many'th

Silence the Shame Day = silence YOUR shame by buying yourself a new POTS

Manyo (2+2+1) de Mayo = cómprate hoy mismo un asiento de inodoro de propiedad previa

 

Wed., May Many'th

National Skilled Trades Day = with great skill, trade your money for a POTS

 

Thurs., May Many'th

National Day of Reason = be nationally reasonable and buy a new POTS today

 

Fri., May Many'th

National Provider Appreciation Day = appreciate your provider of POTSs by buying one today

 

Sat., May Many'th

World Fair Trade Day = trade your funds fairly by buying a POTS for the world today

 

Sun., May Many'th

National Hamster Day = make your hamster happy by buying your POTS today

Mother's Day = buy your mother and all other mothers a POTS today

 

 

The first Many (only!) customers to mention this ad when ordering will receive a handsome 0.0000001% discount off full retail, $i man.  Get your POTS today, whee man!

[TBoneTX 44,690]

Thread-Laundress report, see man:

 

We, the official Thread-Laundress, did Many (2+1) laundry loads today, si man.

We, yet again, had to bifurcate Mrs. T-B.'s stuff, good grief man.

However, we utilized our expertise to keep workload to a minimum, proficient we man.

This impressive demonstration is worth an upvote, si and please comply man.

[Ontarkie 14,133]

On 5/1/2020 at 9:58 PM, TBoneTX said:

(We forgot to propose the solution to this, apologies Eh ma'am)

Get a goat, si ma'am!

Ontarklar probably has one in her home zoo, One Call Does All ma'am.

Sadly I do not. Funny thing is this is Arkansas shouldn't it be against some Hillbilly law to prevent me from having pigs, goats or whatever I want in my yard gees! 

On 5/1/2020 at 10:05 PM, TBoneTX said:

With use of a spatula, we are eating crunchy* peanut butter straight from its jar, efficient we man.

     *creamy is worthless, gag man

We call the spatula the pot licker. Mmmm all the goodies.

[TBoneTX 44,690]

12 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Sadly I do not.

However, check this out, see D ma'am:

 

Mon., May Many'th

International Respect for Chickens Day = respect your chickens by buying yourself a POTS