Rante Macabre

[TBoneTX 45,159]

To help people feel better, here is an article (with fotos) about Texas bluebonnets, see man:

https://www.wildflower.org/learn/how-to/grow-bluebonnets

 

[NikLR 13,227]

10 hours ago, janet3 said:

I shut down my business today. I have applied for all of the loans and hopefully we will be able to pay the employees and keep the buildings (including my house next door). Hopefully all of this will work out. I am feeling a bit like a failure. 
 

I'm sure my lead team feels the same way.  Running a gym and Physiology center just doesnt need operations managers *edit* when we are closed to the public and everything is virtual, even though the senior lead are not good with the program we use.  At least I have a job still.  I have 60 days. I feel like a bit of a failure that I couldnt help more?

Edited April 1, 2020 by NikLR

[NikLR 13,227]

11 hours ago, cdneh said:

Oh no. That totally sucks. If they are covering your benefits you will still have health insurance though?

 

There is a lot of that going on here. On the way back tonight, everything looks closed up.

I thought about doing a bit more grocery shopping online an having delivered here, but I think I might wait and see. I don't know how much longer I will be here.

After a stellar day yesterday, Himself had a poor night. He apparently began vomiting at 0330, and created quite a stir. The nurse didn't understand that DNR means DNR, and so paged half the place out urgently. Fortunately for Himself, cooler heads prevailed.

So today he did not speak. He really didn't do much of anything at all, other than sleep. He dislodged his feeding tube during the episode, so they stopped feeding at 0400. Started it up again this afternoon, but in order to find out why the vomiting he had to have xrays which didn't determine anything. Feeding was started briefly at 1400, but only ran for an hour as they decided xray showed the NG tube needed advancing. They didn't start it again, as he needed yet another image to see if it is where they want it. That wasn't done before I had to leave.

 

I had to leave earlier than usual. The Hotel called to say due to lack of business, the shuttle would for the future be stopping at 1800.  So it was either walk or leave early.

I am the only person on this floor. It is creepy. I am tired, and sad, and I want to go home.

 

I'm sorry hes vomiting. How does his colour look? I know this is a such hard time for you. I am glad you are able to be with him though instead of stuck waiting at the hotel. 

[DaveAndAnastasia 2,090]

9 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

This is because you missed out on the Pre-Owned Toilet Seat industry's ground floor, sigh DA man.

I like computers. They usually do what I tell them to. 🤣

[TBoneTX 45,159]

36 minutes ago, DaveAndAnastasia said:

I like computers. They usually do what I tell them to. 🤣

So do POTSs themselves and all our employees, si DA man.

[cdneh 3,112]

13 hours ago, NikLR said:

I'm sorry hes vomiting. How does his colour look? I know this is a such hard time for you. I am glad you are able to be with him though instead of stuck waiting at the hotel. 

His color looks great. Even the night I called the ambulance in he looked himself, other than the raging dyspnea. From pulmonary flash edema as it happens.

 

Today again he did very little. He nodded a few times at the speech swallow chap, but that was about it. He spends most of his time more or less staring off into space. He will track anyone moving, and look at you when you speak or call him, but that is about all.

His transplant doc came by as he does every day once clinic is over. He's been great, all along. We sorted things out by way of going forward.

 

Taking him home isn't an option. Taking him back to AR is out of the question; the only care facility is in LR and I am adamant he will not go  back there.

 

He said that if I choose to put him in long term care in TN he would have to be moved to the Murfreesboro VA. That's about half an hour south of Nashville. As it is a separate VA to the one he is in, his doc would not have any say at all in how we proceed. He also doesn't believe they will be allowing visitors of any sort admission until the end of the summer. So in effect, he would end up in a strange place with no one he knows, possibly for a very long time, warehoused .

That's a hard no from me on all counts.

 

If he goes into hospice, he can stay right where he is. He won't be moved from the room he is in, and his Doc is still in charge. They will stop the feeding, no more meds, or insulin. They will still treat his hypertension, and of course see that he is comfortable.

 

I have asked to see how he goes until Sunday. If there isn't any  improvement, and I don't see how there can be at this point, that is what we will do.

It certainly isn't the outcome any of us wanted, but it is the best I can do for him.

 

I wish I had better news. I'm sorry for all the miserable depressing posts of late.

 

[Ontarkie 14,193]

1 hour ago, cdneh said:

His color looks great. Even the night I called the ambulance in he looked himself, other than the raging dyspnea. From pulmonary flash edema as it happens.

 

Today again he did very little. He nodded a few times at the speech swallow chap, but that was about it. He spends most of his time more or less staring off into space. He will track anyone moving, and look at you when you speak or call him, but that is about all.

His transplant doc came by as he does every day once clinic is over. He's been great, all along. We sorted things out by way of going forward.

 

Taking him home isn't an option. Taking him back to AR is out of the question; the only care facility is in LR and I am adamant he will not go  back there.

 

He said that if I choose to put him in long term care in TN he would have to be moved to the Murfreesboro VA. That's about half an hour south of Nashville. As it is a separate VA to the one he is in, his doc would not have any say at all in how we proceed. He also doesn't believe they will be allowing visitors of any sort admission until the end of the summer. So in effect, he would end up in a strange place with no one he knows, possibly for a very long time, warehoused .

That's a hard no from me on all counts.

 

If he goes into hospice, he can stay right where he is. He won't be moved from the room he is in, and his Doc is still in charge. They will stop the feeding, no more meds, or insulin. They will still treat his hypertension, and of course see that he is comfortable.

 

I have asked to see how he goes until Sunday. If there isn't any  improvement, and I don't see how there can be at this point, that is what we will do.

It certainly isn't the outcome any of us wanted, but it is the best I can do for him.

 

I wish I had better news. I'm sorry for all the miserable depressing posts of late.

 

I'm so very sorry. I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug ever. 

[TBoneTX 45,159]

Equally big hug from us, si Eh ma'am.

And this is exactly what we are all here for, si Eh ma'am.

[Lil bear 4,171]

1 hour ago, cdneh said:

His color looks great. Even the night I called the ambulance in he looked himself, other than the raging dyspnea. From pulmonary flash edema as it happens.

 

Today again he did very little. He nodded a few times at the speech swallow chap, but that was about it. He spends most of his time more or less staring off into space. He will track anyone moving, and look at you when you speak or call him, but that is about all.

His transplant doc came by as he does every day once clinic is over. He's been great, all along. We sorted things out by way of going forward.

 

Taking him home isn't an option. Taking him back to AR is out of the question; the only care facility is in LR and I am adamant he will not go  back there.

 

He said that if I choose to put him in long term care in TN he would have to be moved to the Murfreesboro VA. That's about half an hour south of Nashville. As it is a separate VA to the one he is in, his doc would not have any say at all in how we proceed. He also doesn't believe they will be allowing visitors of any sort admission until the end of the summer. So in effect, he would end up in a strange place with no one he knows, possibly for a very long time, warehoused .

That's a hard no from me on all counts.

 

If he goes into hospice, he can stay right where he is. He won't be moved from the room he is in, and his Doc is still in charge. They will stop the feeding, no more meds, or insulin. They will still treat his hypertension, and of course see that he is comfortable.

 

I have asked to see how he goes until Sunday. If there isn't any  improvement, and I don't see how there can be at this point, that is what we will do.

It certainly isn't the outcome any of us wanted, but it is the best I can do for him.

 

I wish I had better news. I'm sorry for all the miserable depressing posts of late.

 

Words fail. You are facing the “unfaceable”...just sitting with you as you grieve ..... big hugs... may you see the way forward when it’s time. 

[TBoneTX 45,159]

We went out on a grocery run today, run we man.

The original chief goal was to replenish our supply of G2 and get a couple of other items, completely out man.

The replacement chief goal was to replenish Mama T-B.'s & Uncle T-B.'s larders, altruistic we man.

 

We went to Aldi Foods, long time since there man.

They had almost everything that we needed, missed it by that much man.

We found Uncle T-B.'s two items for half of what other stores would charge, no surprise man.

 

At checkout was a youngish and pregnant Indian lady, facemasked she man.

For some reason (infection?), she hadn't rented a grocery basket, balancing many items she man.

She managed to get them to the shelf beyond checkout, struggle she man.

We said, "Let us dump our stuff, and we will bring this cart back for you, si ma'am," si man.

We did, and she pulled down her mask to smile at us, drop-dead-gorgeous she man.

However, she returned the cart herself and didn't refund us our half-of-half a buck rental fee, sigh man.

 

Upon T-B.-mobiling our purchases, we forgot about the cardboard boxes still occupying the trunk, for books man.

 

We went to a slightly distant other store, larger man.

Few shoppers and nicely stocked shelves, nice to behold man.

We got our casa-hold items and Mama T-B.'s items, success man.

Mama T-B. and Uncle T-B. both grateful, imprisoned in "independent-living" facility man.

 

When we returned to the casa, we realized that we had completely forgotten to get G2,  man.

[trudi 1,317]

10 hours ago, cdneh said:

His color looks great. Even the night I called the ambulance in he looked himself, other than the raging dyspnea. From pulmonary flash edema as it happens.

 

Today again he did very little. He nodded a few times at the speech swallow chap, but that was about it. He spends most of his time more or less staring off into space. He will track anyone moving, and look at you when you speak or call him, but that is about all.

His transplant doc came by as he does every day once clinic is over. He's been great, all along. We sorted things out by way of going forward.

 

Taking him home isn't an option. Taking him back to AR is out of the question; the only care facility is in LR and I am adamant he will not go  back there.

 

He said that if I choose to put him in long term care in TN he would have to be moved to the Murfreesboro VA. That's about half an hour south of Nashville. As it is a separate VA to the one he is in, his doc would not have any say at all in how we proceed. He also doesn't believe they will be allowing visitors of any sort admission until the end of the summer. So in effect, he would end up in a strange place with no one he knows, possibly for a very long time, warehoused .

That's a hard no from me on all counts.

 

If he goes into hospice, he can stay right where he is. He won't be moved from the room he is in, and his Doc is still in charge. They will stop the feeding, no more meds, or insulin. They will still treat his hypertension, and of course see that he is comfortable.

 

I have asked to see how he goes until Sunday. If there isn't any  improvement, and I don't see how there can be at this point, that is what we will do.

It certainly isn't the outcome any of us wanted, but it is the best I can do for him.

 

I wish I had better news. I'm sorry for all the miserable depressing posts of late.

 

I am so sorry that you are facing such hard decisions right now

keeping you both in my prayers

[NikLR 13,227]

11 hours ago, cdneh said:

His color looks great. Even the night I called the ambulance in he looked himself, other than the raging dyspnea. From pulmonary flash edema as it happens.

 

Today again he did very little. He nodded a few times at the speech swallow chap, but that was about it. He spends most of his time more or less staring off into space. He will track anyone moving, and look at you when you speak or call him, but that is about all.

His transplant doc came by as he does every day once clinic is over. He's been great, all along. We sorted things out by way of going forward.

 

Taking him home isn't an option. Taking him back to AR is out of the question; the only care facility is in LR and I am adamant he will not go  back there.

 

He said that if I choose to put him in long term care in TN he would have to be moved to the Murfreesboro VA. That's about half an hour south of Nashville. As it is a separate VA to the one he is in, his doc would not have any say at all in how we proceed. He also doesn't believe they will be allowing visitors of any sort admission until the end of the summer. So in effect, he would end up in a strange place with no one he knows, possibly for a very long time, warehoused .

That's a hard no from me on all counts.

 

If he goes into hospice, he can stay right where he is. He won't be moved from the room he is in, and his Doc is still in charge. They will stop the feeding, no more meds, or insulin. They will still treat his hypertension, and of course see that he is comfortable.

 

I have asked to see how he goes until Sunday. If there isn't any  improvement, and I don't see how there can be at this point, that is what we will do.

It certainly isn't the outcome any of us wanted, but it is the best I can do for him.

 

I wish I had better news. I'm sorry for all the miserable depressing posts of late.

 

You will make the right decision.  Trust in that.  *hugs* you're doing so well in such a hard time.  Saying that what you are dealing with is hard, is an understatement of epic proportions.   

[janet3 1,170]

23 hours ago, cdneh said:

His color looks great. Even the night I called the ambulance in he looked himself, other than the raging dyspnea. From pulmonary flash edema as it happens.

 

Today again he did very little. He nodded a few times at the speech swallow chap, but that was about it. He spends most of his time more or less staring off into space. He will track anyone moving, and look at you when you speak or call him, but that is about all.

His transplant doc came by as he does every day once clinic is over. He's been great, all along. We sorted things out by way of going forward.

 

Taking him home isn't an option. Taking him back to AR is out of the question; the only care facility is in LR and I am adamant he will not go  back there.

 

He said that if I choose to put him in long term care in TN he would have to be moved to the Murfreesboro VA. That's about half an hour south of Nashville. As it is a separate VA to the one he is in, his doc would not have any say at all in how we proceed. He also doesn't believe they will be allowing visitors of any sort admission until the end of the summer. So in effect, he would end up in a strange place with no one he knows, possibly for a very long time, warehoused .

That's a hard no from me on all counts.

 

If he goes into hospice, he can stay right where he is. He won't be moved from the room he is in, and his Doc is still in charge. They will stop the feeding, no more meds, or insulin. They will still treat his hypertension, and of course see that he is comfortable.

 

I have asked to see how he goes until Sunday. If there isn't any  improvement, and I don't see how there can be at this point, that is what we will do.

It certainly isn't the outcome any of us wanted, but it is the best I can do for him.

 

I wish I had better news. I'm sorry for all the miserable depressing posts of late.

 

Sending you love ❤️ 

 

[cdneh 3,112]

He had a quiet day. Stayed awake for long periods of time, fascinated by the tv. Hasn't said anything I could hear, although his lips are moving there is no sound at all. His breathing is back to where it was before, and he did not need suctioning today at all.

 

One bit of very good news as an aside. After 6 years of filing and submitting and denials and fiddling about with the VA, he won his claim today. Service connected.

[TBoneTX 45,159]

Little crumbs of happiness, si Eh ma'am.

Although that one indeed sounds gigantic, whee Eh ma'am.

Edited April 3, 2020 by TBoneTX