Rante Macabre

[TBoneTX 44,926]

22 hours ago, Asia said:

I've been watching the last season of Vikings.

Irresponsible Asia!  Irresponsible, IRRESPONSIBLE Asia!

7 hours ago, DaveAndAnastasia said:

saying soda instead of pop

And it's pronounced "Wus-CAN-sin," horrible dialect DA man.

12 hours ago, SAT said:

kimchi [...] Jinro

Gesundheit, get better soon Steveklar man.

6 hours ago, trudi said:

care they have shown, small town living

Live-town-smalling T ma'am!  Live-town-smalling, LIVE-TOWN-SMALLING T ma'am!

[TBoneTX 44,926]

Thrilling Friday report, genuinely man:

 

We had a real Friday, si and see man.

 

Went to doc to get shot up, firing squad man.

Got meat-tenderizer in wrist, manage case of awristed development man.

Got meat-tenderizer in hip, hip individual we man.

 

Had to drive right past an ES in order to be on time for visit from phone/internet co., timely we man.

This was to be an upgrade from Many to Many Manybytes (MB) of internet, free to us man.

 

Technician showed up at half-past 1 p.m., quite within estimated range man.

Long story short, Many (2+2+2) hours later, we had NO phone and NO internet, blown man.

Tech spent most of that time consulting colleagues, puzzled everyone man.

We learned a lot of in-house tech lingo, bilingual now we man.

Finally found a way to upgrade us from Many not to Many, but to Many Manybytes, acceptable to us man.

Total appointment time = Many (2+2+2+1 + half an hour) hours, egad man.

 

In best news of all, everyone in doc clinic and in Internet Land is buying a Pre-Owned Toilet Seat, $i man.

[TBoneTX 44,926]

Miu T-B. is zzz-ing on Mini-B.'s bed with her big brother's arm atop her, zzz miu and wee man.

Sleeping children are so cute, zzz miu and wee man.

[Ontarkie 14,175]

I fell off the carnivore diet today. Ate a few fries and a bite of mac and cheese. Within seconds my head started feeling off now my whole body is hurting. I'm nauseous, dizzy and achy. Hopefully I learn from this and not cheat again. 

This is day 9 btw and not one single day of acid reflux, bloating or asthma attack. 

[TBoneTX 44,926]

2 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

my head started feeling off now my whole body is hurting. I'm nauseous, dizzy and achy.

Definition from new book, "How to Talk PURE OZARK in One Easy Lesson," see D ma'am:

 

PORELY - Ontarklar wuz feelin' so porely, she had t' git in the bed.

[TBoneTX 44,926]

Saturday GS/ES report, see man:

 

We did quite well, see the take man:

 -- huge table-lamp*, 2 hammers, pliers = $Many ($2x2x2) = steal man

       *original price $Many ($2x2x2x2x2-2), got it for $Many ($2+2+1)

 -- umbrella, full box Kleenex, full box dryer-sheets, toucans pinto beans, 

       full bottle Chlorhexidine, 2 tubes lotions = $Many-&-a-half ($[2+2+1]-&--half), deal man

 -- pack of foam trays, book "How to Talk PURE OZArk' = half a buck, steal man

 -- shoes for Mini-B. = $1, deal but didn't fit him man

Total = $Many ($2x2x2x2-1)

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

So we were having a decent day today getting everything ready for my youngest daughter's birthday tomorrow and the kids just got done doing a balloon arch. When my 7 year old was sliding around the hardwood floors on her socks when she fell and broke her permanent tooth on the floor. Luckily the break didn't affect the nerve in the tooth but we will have to go in for a emergency appointment on Monday morning. My wife is devastated right now because she has worked so hard to take care of her teeth. 

 

[TBoneTX 44,926]

36 minutes ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

we will have to go in for a emergency appointment on Monday morning

What a shame, sorry man.

Mini-B. has been very fortunate so far not to have damaged himself similarly, knock on wood man.

[TBoneTX 44,926]

Thrilling non-GS/ES Saturday report, see man:

 

Awoke with hip feeling great, hip individual we man.

Awoke with wrist partially unusable, case of awristed development man.

 

Mini-B.'s last full day of being Many years old, no more single digits man.

Dropped Mini-B. with Ex-Mrs.-T-B. for the morning, her request man.

 

Lunched at McDonald's (in the T-B.-mobile), before we fell over man.

Never again will we patronize a place with closed dine-in facilities, forget it man.

 

Retrieved Mini-B., Two Guys man.

Napped like a dead thing, zzz we man.

Awoke with wrist nearly unusable, mobilize aspirin and all icepacks man.

 

Took Mini-B. out for pre-birthday din-din, intend to ingest we and wee man.

Red Lobster apparently out of business, building completely deidentified man.

Chili's ignored us in entry lobby for a full Many (2+1) minutes, they can stuff it man.

IHOP gave Mini-B. a free short stack of Many (2+1) pancakes, pleased we and wee man.

 

Bedded Mini-B. with story about our Many'th birthday, famous day in U.S. history man.

Transported miu to big brother's bed, sleep again miu with wee man.

Note to self, self-note man:  immediately buy and mobilize more icepacks, urgent man.

 

Must transport load of Mini-B.'s presents downstairs, delivered by Birthday Claus man.

[NikLR 13,227]

11 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I fell off the carnivore diet today. Ate a few fries and a bite of mac and cheese. Within seconds my head started feeling off now my whole body is hurting. I'm nauseous, dizzy and achy. Hopefully I learn from this and not cheat again. 

This is day 9 btw and not one single day of acid reflux, bloating or asthma attack. 

Maybe it’s the gluten? Have you tried non gluten pasta in the past?  I agree that trying things one at a time would be best though. You don’t know if it was the potato or the pasta (I’m assuming not the cheese?) 

[NikLR 13,227]

Got promoted to store manager. Yay. Worked 57 hours last week. Not yay.  We had a floor cleaning and since I couldn’t add hours to my schedule that was already posted it was me who stayed. After I already worked a full shift. By 230am I was feeling the waxing fumes and was so tired. I fell off my diet and ate candy. Perked me up enough to last the next 45 mins.  Found out the CSM took the truck keys home and didn’t put the club on the work truck. Technically a write up offense so next day I worked he seemed really subdued.  I’m going to make a memo but not write him up because this change to management has been difficult for him. Especially now that his favorite Barbie is sick. Getting him to use other drivers is difficult so I’ll need to do some hiring. Just need to get through inventory next week and the massive planograms. Got all the recalls done. Just need to fix up one more planogram and then make sure the store is perfectly labeled and organized by Monday night. 

[SAT 9,609]

My upstate neighbor died. Went to the funeral, a graveside service, in the snow. 

You guys ever been to a Jewish funeral? They're very long...

[TBoneTX 44,926]

Here is convenient ordering information for your Pre-Owned Toilet Seat on the upcoming week's National Days, order today man:

 

Mon., January Many'th

National Thesaurus Day = order, purchase, request, reserve, buy a POTS today

 

Tues., January Many'th

World Quark Day = it's no quark of nature that everyone should buy a POTS today

 

Wed., January Many'th

Inauguration Day = inaugurate your pleasure by ordering a POTS today

 

Thurs., January Many'st

National Hugging Day = hug everybody in the country after you (and they) buy a POTS today

 

Fri., January Many'nd

Answer Your Cat's Questions Day = assure your miu that you'll order a POTS today

 

Sat., January Many'rd

National Handwriting Day = the handwriting is on the wall that you should buy a POTS today

 

Sun., January Many'th

National Compliment Day = earn one from everybody after you buy a POTS today

 

The first Many (only!) customers to mention this ad when ordering will receive a handsome 0.0000001% discount off full retail, $i man.  Get your POTS today, whee man!

[TBoneTX 44,926]

17 hours ago, NikLR said:

Got promoted to store manager. Yay. Worked Many hours last week. Not yay.

Loftily elevated Niki-B. ma'am!  Loftily elevated, LOFTILY ELEVATED Niki-B. ma'am!

The mantle of leadership is a heavy one, si Niki-B. ma'am.

Survival is predicated on delegating everything except that which only you can do, si ma'am.

And could not the clean-flooring have waited another night, huh ma'am?

[TBoneTX 44,926]

5 hours ago, SAT said:

1.  My upstate neighbor died.

2.  Went to the funeral, a graveside service

Many.  in the snow. 

Many.   You guys ever been to a Jewish funeral? They're very long...

1.  Sorry, Steveklar man.

2.  Surprised that this was allowed, coronaveerus restrictions man.

Many.  Had to turn on the A/C today, Texas weather Many Nueva York weather sucky man.

Many.  Many, and they need not be, si and no man.