Rante Macabre

[ledingham 68]

5 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Texas is superior to just about anywhere (well, in fact, to anywhere, period), and there's no state income tax.

---

Try to visit various places for even a getaway weekend, si Tea ma'am.

It's TOO hot though! I would certainly die there.

[Ontarkie 14,306]

10 hours ago, Teacake said:

Yeah, just really concerned and disappointed at the moment. He seemed so irked by me bringing it up. I was told by someone here on VJ I think to look into Pennsylvania and I’m glad I did - Pittsburgh seems more comparable to what I’d like, though I haven’t been and at this rate, wouldn’t get a chance to scope it out anyway.

I'm trying not to read too much into your posts, but how is he with other things? Is it his way or the highway for everything?

 

I like the idea if he can be open to things like a visit to places to get the feel of things. 

 

Any chance he has any ideas that would be a good fit to live? Has he been anywhere or always stuck in place?

 

 

[Teacake 76]

29 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

I'm trying not to read too much into your posts, but how is he with other things? Is it his way or the highway for everything?

 

I like the idea if he can be open to things like a visit to places to get the feel of things. 

 

Any chance he has any ideas that would be a good fit to live? Has he been anywhere or always stuck in place?

 

 

No, you’d be correct in assuming he’s a stubborn person because he is; and this is a big side of him that only really became apparent after we got married and were able to live together.

 

I would love to visit places to see how we’d go potentially moving in a year or two, but he is seriously adamant about not even exploring the idea at all. Not even to just a different part of this city. We’ve been living in this house (pretty much given to us - we didn’t househunt, so we/I had no say in the location or anything) less than two months. I’m the only one that’s tried to make it feel more like a home and less like an amalgamation of junk all over the floor.

 

I spent days single-handedly deep cleaning the kitchen and appliances before we moved in because they were caked with years of grime, mouse droppings, dead bugs and whatever other evidence of neglect left behind from the previous owners. We were sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a month because he kept putting off setting up our bed frame. There’s an IKEA TV stand we bought together still in pieces scattered all over the joint 6 weeks after purchase because I’ve had to keep prompting him every so often to work on it. Yet, he tells me the reason he doesn’t want to leave is because he’s happy where we are and that he “has plans” for this house. I have no faith that these “plans” have concrete details or timelines.

 

He’s lived in this area most of his life, but he has so few anchors. His career in law enforcement is new, about 6 months in, and he can realistically become certified to work in any state or territory or whatever in the US. He has no deeds or mortgages or anything to his name. His family already have plans in the coming years to up and relocate to New Hampshire or Maine. I just don’t get it.

 

I gave up everything for this - my own life, my plans; left family and friends, all for our relationship. And he’s not willing to give me an inch.

Edited February 6, 2020 by Teacake

[Ontarkie 14,306]

14 minutes ago, Teacake said:

No, you’d be correct in assuming he’s a stubborn person because he is; and this is a big side of him that only really became apparent after we got married and were able to live together.

 

I would love to visit places to see how we’d go potentially moving in a year or two, but he is seriously adamant about not even exploring the idea at all. Not even to just a different part of this city. We’ve been living in this house (pretty much given to us - we didn’t househunt, so we/I had no say in the location or anything) less than two months. I’m the only one that’s tried to make it feel more like a home and less like an amalgamation of junk all over the floor.

 

I spent days single-handedly deep cleaning the kitchen and appliances before we moved in because they were caked with years of grime, mouse droppings, dead bugs and whatever other evidence of neglect left behind from the previous owners. We were sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a month because he kept putting off setting up our bed frame. There’s an IKEA TV stand we bought together still in pieces scattered all over the joint 6 weeks after purchase because I’ve had to keep prompting him every so often to work on it. Yet, he tells me the reason he doesn’t want to leave is because he’s happy where we are and that he “has plans” for this house. I have no faith that these “plans” have concrete details or timelines.

 

He’s lived in this area most of his life, but he has so few anchors. His career in law enforcement is new, about 6 months in, and he can realistically become certified to work in any state or territory or whatever in the US. He has no deeds or mortgages or anything to his name. His family already have plans in the coming years to up and relocate to New Hampshire or Maine. I just don’t get it.

 

I gave up everything for this - my own life, my plans; left family and friends, all for our relationship. And he’s not willing to give me an inch.

Oh man that really sucks. He's stuck in his own way to be able to move forward. 

 

I can see how being given a house makes it hard to move but he has put no effort into making it a home. Living like that would drive me nuts. I give my husband a warning because he too does not like to improve things in the house. Simple as painting the place. In his defense though he is a big time nerd that stuck his head in books. His parents did nothing when he was young to teach things like painting, doing electrical, plumbing and such. He's learned everything from me. Now I just tell him we are doing this and go buy the stuff. I wouldn't encourage you to spend money you don't have but just start doing things. Straight out tell him he has until this date to pick out what ever you want to do and then remind him you will do it anyway but if he wants input speak up now. I think if you start making the place more of a home then just a house it will help. You can work on the other parts of him slowly, or decided he is just not worth the effort. But Give it your best to make yourself happy and try to include him.

[TBoneTX 45,599]

13 hours ago, Asia said:

I'm gonna get a new toilet seat when I'm gonna remodel my bathroom this July 😀

We presume, specifically, a new pre-owned toilet seat, oj tak.

We can offer you a handsome 0.0000001% discount if you pre-order, oj tak.

[TBoneTX 45,599]

6 hours ago, Teacake said:

make it feel more like a home

How fortunate that you have crossed trails with the world's #1 dealer in pre-owned toilet seats, si Tea ma'am.

You have a standing offer (but act now before it expires) to order any number of decorative, home-improving, aesthetically pleasing POTSs (Pre-Owned Toilet Seats) at a handsome 0.0000001% discount off full retail, act today Tea ma'am!    

[TBoneTX 45,599]

10 hours ago, ledingham said:

HAHAHAA I don't think it would be very happy in the Minnesota climate

See how many times per day, week, month, & year you could freeze & thaw it, si A ma'am.

10 hours ago, ledingham said:

It's TOO hot though! I would certainly die there.

It's something like negative-Many degrees in the Panhandle now, brrrr A ma'am.

With Many inches of snow, brrrr A ma'am.

 

And, you can follow our patented method of air-conditioning, see ma'am:

        1.  Take off all your clothes, si ma'am

        2.  Blow on a friend, si ma'am

Many.  Think clean thoughts*, si ma'am

       *uh, this tends to be where the system breaks down, re-engineering necessary man

[eirinlinn 105]

Stupid dummy utah state has my stupid taxes in limbo and I'm anxious to get my friggin taxes done and over with. I hate tax season with a passion. 

[Siddsgal 80]

Anybody else find themselves wanting to hit people with no sense of humor over the head? I have gotten chapped lips from how dry the people are that I’ve had to talk to lately🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[TBoneTX 45,599]

5 hours ago, eirinlinn said:

my stupid taxes

Sorry that your patience is currently being taxed, E ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,599]

5 hours ago, Siddsgal said:

I have gotten chapped lips

After you surmount this, you can publish an account of survival and triumph, with the title "How I Licked Chapped Lips," si M ma'am.

[NikLR 13,228]

On 2/5/2020 at 8:16 AM, ledingham said:

I also feel like it would be better to wait until I go to the USA to buy a new monitor. They at lease have microcentre there.

You dont live in Alberta eh?  That's too bad. Memory Express was the bomb when I lived in Calgary.  Heck I drove to it when I lived in Red Deer! 

But i would wait anyhow, it's prolly cheaper. 

[NikLR 13,228]

9 hours ago, eirinlinn said:

Stupid dummy utah state has my stupid taxes in limbo and I'm anxious to get my friggin taxes done and over with. I hate tax season with a passion. 

Must be why you did it so early! I dont think i have my mortgage statement but I think the standard deduction is more than my itemized anyhow so I dont know why I bother. 

[NikLR 13,228]

My husband would love to move to property but the amount (or rather lack thereof) of effort he puts into maintaining our home had me say no.  I would also love it.  But I wont do that much work alone (he won't shovel the driveway.)  

Why is this ikea furniture waiting for him? Why dont you build it? While youd like to move to someplace different maybe moving scares him? A new job isn't necessarily easy to leave for people. Is he slightly or majorly introverted? My husband is very stubborn and it is all based on the fact that he gets major anxiety with too much change.  So he shuts down.  He can do it, but it takes a lot for the motivation to kick in and overcome the turtle instinct. 

[Teacake 76]

2 hours ago, NikLR said:

My husband would love to move to property but the amount (or rather lack thereof) of effort he puts into maintaining our home had me say no.  I would also love it.  But I wont do that much work alone (he won't shovel the driveway.)  

Why is this ikea furniture waiting for him? Why dont you build it? While youd like to move to someplace different maybe moving scares him? A new job isn't necessarily easy to leave for people. Is he slightly or majorly introverted? My husband is very stubborn and it is all based on the fact that he gets major anxiety with too much change.  So he shuts down.  He can do it, but it takes a lot for the motivation to kick in and overcome the turtle instinct. 

Yeah, I offered a couple times to try building it myself but he kept saying no. Maybe I should just try to get it done already, but it’s weird to me that he doesn’t want to follow through with it as a project. We live in a house that was built in the 1930s in need of a lot of renovations and general maintenance if we are to get the upstairs inhabitable, for example. so we’ve got a ways to go. I just thought it would be neat to see him show initiative in one of these smaller things to get the ball moving since he said he wants to stay and keep investing time and effort into this house. 

 

He’s not introverted, he’s a social person who gets along with others really easily. He may be scared of leaving a more rural life for sure, but thankfully we spoke about moving again yesterday and he was a lot more cooperative.

 

I wasn’t asking him to leave his new job, it was just a conversation I was wanting to have about the near future. The fact that he was unwilling to hear me out at all yesterday was what got me.