Huge age difference

[laylalex 7,300]

6 minutes ago, HelpGuys12 said:

We already talked about this allot and i think i will never find someone as kind and lovely as her i respect your opinion and thank u for replying but i really wanna be with this person and she really want to be with me we are ready to give everything to this relationship to succeed. anyways i have been through a lot in my life and i know exactly what to do and what to not do and im planning ahead everything we just hope the best for this relation and we leave it in god hands.

Sweetie, I've been 19 before. I know what it's like. I fell in love with my ex-husband when I was not much older than you and we had SO many red flags that came up before we got married (he infantilized me, made me feel like I couldn't do things without letting a big strong man like him take control, etc) but I dismissed them all because we were In Love and we were just going to "hope for the best" that the issues we had would resolve themselves. "Hoping for the best" isn't a good recipe for a lasting marriage -- it's setting yourself up for divorce. DO THE WORK NOW. Are you in this for forever? Do you plan to stay married? DO THE WORK NOW. 

 

There is an excellent article I read yesterday about the kinds of questions people getting engaged should ask each other before making the leap : https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/12/24/before-you-get-engaged-ask-your-partner-these-tough-questions/ 

 

My fiance and I have been together now for over two years, we live together and have known each other for 14 years, and when we started going through these questions we began learning new things about each other. Try going through some of them together,, answer honestly and see if you are on the same page. The time is NOW to understand if you are ready. Marriage is too important than to just hope it will all work out.

[Going through 5,671]

8 minutes ago, HelpGuys12 said:

She is divorced and with 2 children

Highly uncommon for a 19-year old Tunisian man to marry a woman who is not just older by many years, but also a divorcee with children. 

And I'm guessing her kids are not much younger than you...or perhaps even older than you. 

 

Step-parenting might be awkward, to say the least, going forward.  Are the children attending the wedding?  Have you spoken to them frequently online/FaceTime?  Those are factors as well the CO will consider.

 

 

 

[BadAmmoWitch 213]

22 minutes ago, HelpGuys12 said:

We already talked about this allot and i think i will never find someone as kind and lovely as her i respect your opinion and thank u for replying but i really wanna be with this person and she really want to be with me we are ready to give everything to this relationship to succeed. anyways i have been through a lot in my life and i know exactly what to do and what to not do and im planning ahead everything we just hope the best for this relation and we leave it in god hands.

That's great to hear! As others have pointed out, it is probably best that your fiancee moves to Tunisia to live with you for a few years before attempting a Visa. The two of you can be together, your love will blossom, and everyone will be happy. Have you looked into Tunisia's immigration requirements? 

Edited December 27, 2019 by BadAmmoWitch

[Downloader 199]

How old are her children? 

 

[JeanneAdil 6,617]

pay attention to all of the above posts

these are from experience people who have witnessed all issues here

all the following are red flags

1. 34 years is a huge huge age difference

2. not the same religion 

3. financial issues 

4. marrying on the first visit 

5.  she is past the child bearing stage and having children are important in your culture

6. she is divorced and men in your country do not tend to marry divorced or widowed Tunisian women

How will your family feel about this relationship ?

 

if you even get to an interview stage,  the CO would probably deny without asking you to produce a cosponsor

 

I am married almost 9 yrs now with a big age difference and it took us 3 applications, an appeal,  and 6 years to get a visa

so,  your uphill climb i do understand

 

if you are in for the long long haul say 5 or more years ,  you will have plenty of time for getting to know each other giving her time to straighten out her money issues

 

but please ,  do not marry on this 1st visit 

[JeanneAdil 6,617]

56 minutes ago, laylalex said:

You are 19. Sorry, but you're basically a kid. I met my fiance when he was 20 and he was in no way, shape or form ready to do much more than finish his degree program and play a LOT of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. He wasn't ready to get married back then -- he still was figuring out who he was and what he wanted from life. I obviously don't know you, but I guess you probably are still figuring out who YOU are too. That is fine! That is what we are supposed to do when we're very young. Getting married is a HUGE step for someone as young as you are, let alone all the red flags that you have. 

 

I say this out of kindness: you barely know this woman. You barely know her, you do not know her culture, you do not know her likes and dislikes very fully, you do not know the complexity of her hopes and dreams yet -- just as you do not know all of your own. Give it time. Love is amazingly forgiving if you tend it and cultivate it like a beautiful flower -- give it space to grow and flourish. Feed it with kindness and restraint. Do not crowd it, do not force it to blossom. 

 

Please think carefully on what it is you aim to do. Marriage is an act of love, but it is also an act of sacrifice. Are you completely sure you are ready to give what is required? 

Well said,   love has no room to grow when 2 people have difference in likes and dislikes

3 decades of differences in music,  films,  cultural shock

love does not last when you start disliking everything the other person likes

 

I have spent a long visit in your country and i know most young men may be born muslim but do not carefully follow the 5 pillars of Islam mostly the Salat as they do not pray as they should

but most do fast in Ramadan so, is she willing to support this ?

think of all this

Edited December 27, 2019 by JeanneAdil

[designguy 1,179]

I wonder how many of these relationships last when the visa is denied and the USC would have to move to the other country...

[Cryssiekins 976]

1 hour ago, missileman said:

Possible chapter of my book "Tales of the Green Card".......coming to a bookstore near you soon.

Just one book?  That’s going to be a mighty thick book my friend!  There’s a LOT of threads

on this forum that make it difficult for me not to be judgey, but when it quacks like a duck...  

 

@HelpGuys12:  Admittedly I don’t know the logistics of a Tunisian citizen travelling to other countries, but it may be more cost effective for her to fly to Canada (or even drive if she’s geographically close to the border).  Echoing everyone else here:  it’s not the best idea to marry on the first meeting, or to rely on a third party sponsor.  It sounds like you’re more financially stable, so having her relocate, even for a couple years, is a better way to be able to eventually settle together in the US. 

[KOLCHI barri 7]

she's way too old for you , you still kid (19) don't do it . 

 

[SalishSea 18,123]

2 hours ago, HelpGuys12 said:

Everyone im from Tunisia and im 19 years old 8 months ago i met a woman from the US she is so nice we r now in love the problem is she is 53 years old i dont have a problem but im afraid that everyone else will do. so is it gonna affect the timeline or we r gonna get rejected .

We dont share the same religion 

No chance for approval.

[Faisal1 235]

19 years old ?  straight denial.  Marry to grandmother age.  Ofcourse no chance at all

[momofmeli 13]

3 hours ago, HelpGuys12 said:

Everyone im from Tunisia and im 19 years old 8 months ago i met a woman from the US she is so nice we r now in love the problem is she is 53 years old i dont have a problem but im afraid that everyone else will do. so is it gonna affect the timeline or we r gonna get rejected .

We dont share the same religion 

What your parents says? Are they ok with their new 53 years old bride? How many kids you want? Midesiz 

[Suze1 366]

3 hours ago, HelpGuys12 said:

any good ideas.

help me in this now u scared me guys i have no idea what to do. 

Slow down. Focus on having a real relationship to the greatest extent possible.

Spend as much time together within those limitations. Meet her friends, her family, your friends, your family.

Don't focus on the visa right now.

 

 

 

 

[Roqia 0]

7 hours ago, HelpGuys12 said:

Everyone im from Tunisia and im 19 years old 8 months ago i met a woman from the US she is so nice we r now in love the problem is she is 53 years old i dont have a problem but im afraid that everyone else will do. so is it gonna affect the timeline or we r gonna get rejected .

We dont share the same religion 

You will have to prove a legitimate relationship and as long as you can do that you should have no problem with the age gap...best wishes to you both

[Nitas_man 3,100]

10 hours ago, HelpGuys12 said:

any good ideas.

help me in this now u scared me guys i have no idea what to do. 

Marrying someone your own age or growing up first would be a huge help

Edited December 27, 2019 by Nitas_man