Not quite sure what I can do!!!!

[denali_1963 0]

She didnt abandone her kids she threw papers out didnt she? What is her crime really?

[babybunny 2]

She didnt abandone her kids she threw papers out didnt she? What is her crime really?

huh?

I dont know the he11 that means.

oh I think I know what you are saying.

she is treating her kids like yesterdays news.

I think so tossing them aside.

[gwenneh 7]

Janice,

Get a lawyer. No one on this forum is really going to know the ins and outs of custody laws or how they vary between the two countries. You may have options available to you. You need a lawyer for this one; I would suggest doing a search for organizations that might be able to help you subsidize the cost.

Unfortunately I know nothing about it either or even where to tell you to begin. My former-almost-brother-in-law went to the local bar association and was able to get some referrals to people who had handled child support/custody cases before, that might be a place to start. At the very least, you should speak with someone (a lawyer) about it. There may not be much legal recourse from your side of the pond.

Good luck, and we're thinking of you!

[denali_1963 0]

Oh your bad just like leaving your fiance's family in the cold. Even your own parents.

correction i mean husbands parents!

[arwensun1965 1]

Thanks Gimy and Gwen

I thought as much, well all I can do at this moment in time is talk to my children, which I do each day anyway and see what they want to do, I know at this moment in time they want to stay in England.

Gimy ..No I have never signed or given permission for the grandmother to sign anything although if she were to ask then of course I would..but nobody has bothered to ask me.

This thread is not about the grandmother ... I know I should be asking about her but I know the children are happy and in a safe enviroment.

What I should of asked really is can her son do all that he is doing inspite of him not being on the birth certificate???

[Kajikit 65]

I'm sorry, but you can't have somebody else look after your children full-time while you are ten thousand miles away and NOT give them parental rights! It's not exactly a babysitting job... what if something went wrong and they had to be rushed to hospital and have surgery or something? You couldn't exactly give your permission from America. If you want your children back you should have made arrangements to bring them with you on K2 visas.

[babybunny 2]

Oh your bad just like leaving your fiance's family in the cold. Even your own parents.

correction i mean husbands parents!

I never abandoned my parents you dumb azz. my mom and dad have their home

and their life. so does my husbands parents.

[Fuzzness 2]

Oh this is getting good.

Just one question, Janice. Why didn't Jon move to the UK?

The reason I am moving to the US is because Karen can't legally bring her daughter with her.

I hope you do find a good lawyer that can help you in this mess. Best of luck!

[ChristinaM 0]

Janice,

As I see it, the kids were living with your exs mother previously. They have a stable home with her, although they did see you regularly. With you leaving the country, it makes sense for someone local to have parental custody of them - particularly the person thay are already living with and their father.

You said yourself that your kids did not want to come to the USA, and you allowed their grandmother custody at that time. Now all she's doing is taking care of the paperwork - through her son, perhaps, but that's all it is.

It's impractical for you to have full parental custody rights when you don't live in the same country, but you will always be their mother. I think the wording of any agreement is more important than the fact that there is one, because you don't want to have very restricted access to your own kids. You have to accept that you chose for your life to be here with Jon and your kids did not, and make appropriate sacrifices for the ultimate benefit of your children. I dare say the last thing they need with their mother away is a bitter and drawn-out fight affecting their lives, right?

Good luck in getting it sorted

[denali_1963 0]

Oh your bad just like leaving your fiance's family in the cold. Even your own parents.

correction i mean husbands parents!

I never abandoned my parents you dumb azz. my mom and dad have their home

and their life. so does my husbands parents.

[gimygirl 0]

What I should of asked really is can her son do all that he is doing inspite of him not being on the birth certificate???

janice ...

i will tentatively answer this with a yes (99% certainty). he is their biological father. they will also take into account that the children have been living with their paternal grandmother, he has had complete access to them during this time and was the one who actually had to bring them to you once a week for a visit.

i'm sorry but it just doesn't look good on paper no matter which way you cut it. you are really going to need to ring a solicitor and see what can be sorted out.

question though (and you don't have to answer) ... if they are with his mum and he sees them whenever he wants, what are the reasons that you do not want to share custody with him or give him full parental rights? are you able to contribute to their welfare at this point in time?

[desert_fox 32]

She didnt abandone her kids she threw papers out didnt she? What is her crime really?

Well, here in the US, if you are served with a court summons, and you ignore it and dont file a response, then the other party is entitled to take a default judgement...i.e. they win.

I would think the laws there would be similar since US law is based upon British Common Law.

[arwensun1965 1]

question though (and you don't have to answer) ... if they are with his mum and he sees them whenever he wants, what are the reasons that you do not want to share custody with him or give him full parental rights? are you able to contribute to their welfare at this point in time?

This goes back to when I was pregnant with the twins, he did not want me to have them, told me to get rid of them, well as you can see I didn't, not because of religious reasons but because of my own personal reasons. Over the years we have been not quite friends but not the worst of enemies either everything was ok until I got those court papers. The grandmother has never asked me for money, they are pretty well off.

I did ask them about it once but was told not to worry about it. His mother never thought she would get any grandchildren, the twins are her only grandchildren. I do not begrudge her the right to do things for my children, what gets me is that they did all this without even talking to me about it. Not once did they say Janice we need to talk about the responsibility of the children and what they could sign or not sign. IF they had of asked I would of probably agreed.

Janice

[babybunny 2]

I'm sorry, but you can't have somebody else look after your children full-time while you are ten thousand miles away and NOT give them parental rights! It's not exactly a babysitting job... what if something went wrong and they had to be rushed to hospital and have surgery or something? You couldn't exactly give your permission from America. If you want your children back you should have made arrangements to bring them with you on K2 visas.

[ktun 0]

Your question was if your ex can really do anything if he is not on the birth certificate?!

The answer is YES. He does NOT need your permission to add himself to their birth certifcates and obtain parental responsibility for them. It is easier if does get your permission, but he is perfectly within his rights to add himself though a court order or dna testing if required to add himself. Since the children have lived with their paternal grandmother for a significant period of time then I dont think there will be any real question as to their paternity.

Since you did not make any formal legal arrangements for the children when you left the country, he and/or their grandmother will most likely be able to gain legal custody of them.

I think if you want to have sole custody of your children you are going to have a hard time. This is not something that can be handled effectively by an American attorney as you are dealing with British law. You will need to find a British lawyer and probably return to the UK if you want to fight this. Your actions the night before you left the UK will not be looked favourably upon either.

This is not a personal judgement, these are the legal facts.