Not quite sure what I can do!!!!

[arwensun1965 0]

I'm trying to get some advice here as I really at this moment in time cannot afford a lawyer. Several years ago I decided to go back to work and my ex partners mother said she would have my children for me so that I could do just that. The two youngest (they are twins) went and stayed with her, she put them in school and everything went along just fine. Little bit later I meet Jon on the internet and we started meeting, the twins still stayed with granny, the ex partner bringing them over to me every Sunday. Little bit more insight...The twins are not in his name as he did not want to put his name on the birth certificate and I have never given his mother any rights concerning my children. The children did not want to come to the USA and so I said they could stay with there grandmother.

The night before I came to the USA a chap from the local court came to the house asked if I was Janice ... and gave me some court papers concerning my children, these papers said that the ex partner was going for a parent responsibility order and to have control over my children. As you can imagine things were not easy for me, I decided to come and marry Jon anyway. I do not know if I have made a mistake in everything that I have done (coming here) but I do love Jon.

The fact that the ex partner did this the night before I came here show's what kind of character he is. As i've previously said he did not want his name on the birth certificate and he never gave me a penny in maintenance but now him and his mother want control over my children. I was so angry I put the court papers in the trash and phoned and called his mother a heap of names. Her son would not answer the phone and talk to me, which shows what a coward he is.

The ex partner went to court on the 8th of March 2006 and was told that the Judge needed more time to act and he has been told to go back on the 15th of May 2006.

Now what I would like to know is what can I do?? Have I left it too late to do anything??

Janice

Edited March 27, 2006 by arwensun1965

[ace13 0]

If you left the children with their grandmother, I think it is only natural that they would be given rights. You moved to another country without them. There are many responsibilities as a parent and if you are thousands of miles away, how do expect to be a parent to them. I think it would be honorable to release custody or partial custody especially if you are not planning on returning.

[dalegg 143]

I'm trying to get some advice here as I really at this moment in time cannot afford a lawyer. Several years ago I decided to go back to work and my ex partners mother said she would have my children for me so that I could do just that.

Hey! Remember there are americans reading these posts. That phrase had me a bit confused.

The two youngest (they are twins) went and stayed with her, she put them in school and everything went along just fine. Little bit later I meet Jon on the internet and we started meeting, the twins still stayed with granny, the ex partner bringing them over to me every Sunday. Little bit more insight...The twins are not in his name as he did not want to put his name on the birth certificate and I have never given his mother any rights concerning my children. The children did not want to come to the USA and so I said they could stay with there grandmother.

The night before I came to the USA a chap from the local court came to the house asked if I was Janice ... and gave me some court papers concerning my children, these papers said that the ex partner was going for a parent responsibility order and to have control over my children. As you can imagine things were not easy for me, I decided to come and marry Jon anyway. I do not know if I have made a mistake in everything that I have done (coming here) but I do love Jon.

The fact that the ex partner did this the night before I came here show's what kind of character he is. As i've previously said he did not want his name on the birth certificate and he never gave me a penny in maintenance but now him and his mother want control over my children. I was so angry I put the court papers in the trash and phoned and called his mother a heap of names. Her son would not answer the phone and talk to me, which shows what a coward he is.

The ex partner went to court on the 8th of March 2006 and was told that the Judge needed more time to act and he has been told to go back on the 15th of May 2006.

Now what I would like to know is what can I do?? Have I left it too late to do anything??

Janice

I surely feel for you but I cannot imagine anyone here is going to have any advice for you other than to go get a lawyer.

[babybunny 2]

If you left the children with their grandmother, I think it is only natural that they would be given rights. You moved to another country without them. There are many responsibilities as a parent and if you are thousands of miles away, how do expect to be a parent to them. I think it would be honorable to release custody or partial custody especially if you are not planning on returning.

To me its like you abandoned the kids. now all of a sudden you wanna play mama again. how dare the grandma and the father want to do anything. *for shame* on them let you tell it. Any reasonable

person would have said " Jon I love you but, we gotta wait til I take care of my babies." but no

you decided it was not important enough!

[chocolaterie 0]

if you can not afford a lawyer there are many charitable organizations that can help you. Like a community center or a local church.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

If you left the children with their grandmother, I think it is only natural that they would be given rights. You moved to another country without them. There are many responsibilities as a parent and if you are thousands of miles away, how do expect to be a parent to them. I think it would be honorable to release custody or partial custody especially if you are not planning on returning.

To me its like you abandoned the kids. now all of a sudden you wanna play mama again. how dare the grandma and the father want to do anything. *for shame* on them let you tell it. Any reasonable

person would have said " Jon I love you but, we gotta wait til I take care of my babies." but no

you decided it was not important enough!

Hey! we agree.

[denali_1963 0]

Why are we so hard on mothers. I think if the man had done this we would not be so judgemental. Sounds like your x is a momas boy and listens to whatever she says. I hope you make the right decision for your kids sake.

[babybunny 2]

If you left the children with their grandmother, I think it is only natural that they would be given rights. You moved to another country without them. There are many responsibilities as a parent and if you are thousands of miles away, how do expect to be a parent to them. I think it would be honorable to release custody or partial custody especially if you are not planning on returning.

To me its like you abandoned the kids. now all of a sudden you wanna play mama again. how dare the grandma and the father want to do anything. *for shame* on them let you tell it. Any reasonable

person would have said " Jon I love you but, we gotta wait til I take care of my babies." but no

you decided it was not important enough!

Hey! we agree.

really? *whew *

[arwensun1965 0]

To me its like you abandoned the kids. now all of a sudden you wanna play mama again. how dare the grandma and the father want to do anything. *for shame* on them let you tell it. Any reasonable

person would have said " Jon I love you but, we gotta wait til I take care of my babies." but no

you decided it was not important enough!

Hold on a minute...just like a few VJers how dare you pre judge my situation.

I did talk this situation over with my children they are not abandoned they are with a loving grandmother, that is not what I am asking but it is just like you to pre judge what I did or am doing. I suggest you know the whole story before you do what you do best. How nasty can a person be??? Is that your best shon or can I expect more disparaging remarks from you...Shame on you for not acutally reading what I had put, but I kind of expected that from you.

There father does not live with them he just visits them, what I would like to know is can he actually do what he is doing without being on the birth certificate??

Janice

[babybunny 2]

Why are we so hard on mothers. I think if the man had done this we would not be so judgemental. Sounds like your x is a momas boy and listens to whatever she says. I hope you make the right decision for your kids sake.

let me see. if this guy is a MAMAs boy. he has a dayum good mother!!!

because she < grandma> encourged him to step up to the plate and take care of the twins

togeather they are doing that . while " natural mom " decides running around the world abanding

her kids is more important! mind you she gave them up before she came to the USA. coz she could not work and have kids.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

To me its like you abandoned the kids. now all of a sudden you wanna play mama again. how dare the grandma and the father want to do anything. *for shame* on them let you tell it. Any reasonable

person would have said " Jon I love you but, we gotta wait til I take care of my babies." but no

you decided it was not important enough!

Hold on a minute...just like a few VJers how dare you pre judge my situation.

I did talk this situation over with my children they are not abandoned they are with a loving grandmother, that is not what I am asking but it is just like you to pre judge what I did or am doing. I suggest you know the whole story before you do what you do best. How nasty can a person be??? Is that your best shon or can I expect more disparaging remarks from you...Shame on you for not acutally reading what I had put, but I kind of expected that from you.

There father does not live with them he just visits them, what I would like to know is can he actually do what he is doing without being on the birth certificate??

Janice

LOL Judge? Of course we are judging. What do you expect when you post on a message board?

[babybunny 2]

To me its like you abandoned the kids. now all of a sudden you wanna play mama again. how dare the grandma and the father want to do anything. *for shame* on them let you tell it. Any reasonable

person would have said " Jon I love you but, we gotta wait til I take care of my babies." but no

you decided it was not important enough!

Hold on a minute...just like a few VJers how dare you pre judge my situation.

I did talk this situation over with my children they are not abandoned they are with a loving grandmother, that is not what I am asking but it is just like you to pre judge what I did or am doing. I suggest you know the whole story before you do what you do best. How nasty can a person be??? Is that your best shon or can I expect more disparaging remarks from you...Shame on you for not acutally reading what I had put, but I kind of expected that from you.

There father does not live with them he just visits them, what I would like to know is can he actually do what he is doing without being on the birth certificate??

Janice

he is at least visiting the kids ... your behind is at the PC in the USA.

you are the one telling all your " Business " on a PUBLIC forum!!!!!!!!!!

I was abandoned before. when i was a baby and I am also a twin. so I know how it feels.

I have a twin brother. so your not gaining sympathy from me. NONE.

[denali_1963 0]

I had a grandma after my kids and becouse i couldn't support them by myself i stayed with ####### for 23 years. If i had left him good ol grandma would of taken them from me. Maybe she decided the kids would of been better off at the time with grandma. That don't mean she wants to give them up.

[babybunny 2]

I had a grandma after my kids and becouse i couldn't support them by myself i stayed with ####### for 23 years. If i had left him good ol grandma would of taken them from me. Maybe she decided the kids would of been better off at the time with grandma. That don't mean she wants to give them up.

so you like airing your business too? how does airing your business relates to her

abandoning her kids?

[gimygirl 0]

janice .... *hands you a thicker skin* << you're going to need that to get through this thread you created. it is an EXTREMELY touchy subject: mothers & their children. i suggest you quickly get over the posts that have nothing constructive to add, you have opened your private life on a public forum. most people will call it as they see it - myself included.

as you put it, it does come off a bit odd that you are questioning your ex's character while most will find leaving their children, albeit with their consent, a bit left of center. as much as i loved geoff, we were apart for 22 months while i went back and forth with my ex regarding custody of my children. in the end, i have full legal and physical custody of them ... my children's happiness was tantamount to my own and geoff agreed wholeheartedly.

i realize that this was sprung on you in the 11th hour ... but it was a reasonable move on your ex's part. as their only legal parent/guardian out of the country ... someone needs to be responsible for them now in the UK. does your ex MIL have legal permission to get them medically treated, sign school documents, etc? have you been sending your ex MIL maintenance since you've been in the US?

as for whether you made a mistake?? only time will tell and of course, how you decide to proceed from here. lucky this was not in the US because if you had not shown up for court, your ex would have been awarded full custody. as i see it, it is going to be pretty hard for us here in the US to give you any sort of advice at all regarding UK child custody issues. i do feel that since your ex MIL has had the children under her charge for quite some time and you did not respond OR show up in court on 8th ... this is only going to make his case stronger. i would never advise anyone to throw away court documents.

how old are the twins now and is there any way that they would consider moving to the US? if you trusted them enough to make the decision to remain in the UK, maybe you should ask them about this current situation?? i would suggest calling a solicitor in the UK and see if you have to attend the hearing in may.