Scared what to do? Please hlep me

[ATLANTA1 1]

21 hours ago, sillymeinUSA said:

I have been reading this forum since I began a K1 visa journey to the United States.

 

I have my AOS interview in one week.

 

My relationship with my husband isnt working well. I dated him two years before living together in Miami, and everything seemed fine,

until I arrived here and we lived together and everything became a nightmare. We have been in counselling since one year ago, but it hasnt worked. 

We fight quite a lot. He was lay off three weeks ago and we have this interview with USCIS which I dont think he wants to attend and obviously without a job I cant be aproved! I am crying right now.

 

Since two weeks ago he has been giving me threats on daily basis. He said he is not suporting me financially anymore etc.

 

I am tired of this and today he told me he wants to divorce. I aslo want to divorce since we are uncompatible at so many levels and I had endured quite a lot of abuse.

 

I had a huge financial lost while coming to the United States. Huge one. I feel I did a huge mistake and I will never trust anyone as I did with this man.

 

I have a ton of debt and I need to work in the United States to pay my debt and move on with my life.

 

What can I do ?

 

I have an EAD and looking for a job right now.

 

FILE I-360 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

[Unidentified 2,930]

14 minutes ago, ATLANTA1 said:

FILE I-360 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

Don't see how she's eligible. 

[belinda63 3,047]

She hasn't reported abuse, just the normal arguing that people who are incompatible have. 

[TBoneTX 46,062]

17 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

will need to return to your home country.

Will need to leave the United States.  Returning to the home country is probably what most end up doing, but that's not a specific requirement.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

3 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Will need to leave the United States.  Returning to the home country is probably what most end up doing, but that's not a specific requirement.

fair point

[sillymeinUSA 0]

On 12/14/2019 at 10:35 PM, Amadia said:

First off.....breathe.

I'm sorry to learn that you are going thru this and it is never easy when you don't have your family around for support 😕 

It can all become very overwhelming transitioning from one country to the next and starting a new life. I won't ask you to get into details of how you both met and decided to marry but the signs of his negative behaviour and clashing personality may have been apparent before you two got wed.

 

No, they werent apparent.

There are certain aspects of a person that you only get to know after living together.

Even if you were a normal couple meeting at the same city ...you only see the real person when you live together.

I was very careful about engaging in a long distance relationship being that the reason why we engaged with a couple therapist. 

Two different worlds, two different cultures, two different personalities and two levels of maturity but only one person doing a professional and financial sacrifice and leaving behing her family and friends.

 

 

 

 

[sillymeinUSA 0]

I dont know if I want to report abuse. 

I do think my husband behavour is emotional abusive, with all these threats concerning inmigration status, since I arrived here.

He has been violent during the arguments, but the therapist and I explained to him that it is a federal crime to engage in a violent behaviour so he stopped. 

I dont know if I want to go down that route, I have a written a account and taken photos of what he has done to me. It is all detailed explained.

But I dont want to go down that route. 

 

Anyway, I will see a lawyer this week concerning my rigths during the divorce process, if I have any (!)

 

The other option I have is to delay the interview with USCIS, this will allow me to work with the EAD card in whatever job (waitress ???) and save some money to return home and pay debts. Is that an option ....?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[geowrian 22,338]

13 minutes ago, sillymeinUSA said:

Anyway, I will see a lawyer this week concerning my rigths during the divorce process, if I have any (!)

 

The other option I have is to delay the interview with USCIS, this will allow me to work with the EAD card in whatever job (waitress ???) and save some money to return home and pay debts. Is that an option ....?

For divorce, you have the exact same roles and responsibilities as everybody else. Immigration status is not a consideration.

 

It is possible to delay things, albeit for how long is unknown and for what reason that will be acceptable is questionable. The obvious question would be "What is the reason for needing to reschedule?", and you do not want to misrepresent yourself or else you will be digging a hole that is very hard to get out of.

The process would be to contact them and request it. If they ask why, you need to be honest.

You can work up until AOS is denied.

Your spouse has the option to pull the I-864 anytime before AOS approval, at which point AOS must be denied, too.

Edited December 16, 2019 by geowrian

[Nat&Amy 623]

1 minute ago, sillymeinUSA said:

The other option I have is to delay the interview with USCIS, this will allow me to work with the EAD card in whatever job (waitress ???) and save some money to return home and pay debts. Is that an option ....?

Delaying your interview might not help you much if your spouse withdraws his i864. If that happens, your AoS is dead, with or without an interview.

 

From what you have reported, he is unlikely to cooperate, but have you even talked to him about what his role will be in the AoS process? Be aware that if you choose to file with an abuse waiver, the burden will be on you to prove bonafide marriage AND abuse. For that, you will need reports from specialists and very strong evidence. You mentioned he was violent, did he ever assault you? Do you have police reports? Evidence of his threats? 

 

Emotional abuse and marital disagreements are not the same thing, so be very mindful of your next steps. 

[Going through 5,671]

5 hours ago, sillymeinUSA said:

I dont know if I want to go down that route, I have a written a account and taken photos of what he has done to me. It is all detailed explained.

But I dont want to go down that route. 

To go down that route, USCIS will need (for example) psychologist evaluations, hospital records for any medical treatment you received, police reports regarding domestic violence, etc.  Photos can be doctored so USCIS will require a bit more than just that and a written statement from you to go down the VAWA road.  It's a higher set of criteria to fill, as you have to prove not only that the marriage was bonafide, but also prove the abuse happened.

 

5 hours ago, sillymeinUSA said:

The other option I have is to delay the interview with USCIS, this will allow me to work with the EAD card in whatever job (waitress ???) and save some money to return home and pay debts. Is that an option ....?

You can ask for the AOS to be rescheduled, yes, with what the policy manual states as "good cause".   The policy manual also goes on to say the following:  In order to reschedule the interview, the adjudicator, in his or her discretion, must determine that the applicant, petitioner, beneficiary, or other individual is unable to appear at the scheduled date and time because of circumstances beyond the individual's control.   If the adjudicator determines that good cause exists for the applicant or petitioner's request, the adjudicator will reschedule the interview and mail a new interview notice. If the adjudicator determines that no good cause exists, the adjudicator will adjudicate the application or petition as instructed in AFM Chapter 15.1(d)(2) .Just saying you "need more time" probably isn't going to cut it.   USCIS is under no obligation to honor any request for rescheduling.

 

As mentioned, if your husband withdraws the i-864 (he doesn't need your consent or even your knowledge that he is doing so), then the AOS is automatically denied.  

 

 

Another option if you are looking to get funds to return home is to ask family and friends to loan it to you.

[AA1 4]

On 12/14/2019 at 6:52 PM, sillymeinUSA said:

I have been reading this forum since I began a K1 visa journey to the United States.

 

I have my AOS interview in one week.

 

My relationship with my husband isnt working well. I dated him two years before living together in Miami, and everything seemed fine,

until I arrived here and we lived together and everything became a nightmare. We have been in counselling since one year ago, but it hasnt worked. 

We fight quite a lot. He was lay off three weeks ago and we have this interview with USCIS which I dont think he wants to attend and obviously without a job I cant be aproved! I am crying right now.

 

Since two weeks ago he has been giving me threats on daily basis. He said he is not suporting me financially anymore etc.

 

I am tired of this and today he told me he wants to divorce. I aslo want to divorce since we are uncompatible at so many levels and I had endured quite a lot of abuse.

 

I had a huge financial lost while coming to the United States. Huge one. I feel I did a huge mistake and I will never trust anyone as I did with this man.

 

I have a ton of debt and I need to work in the United States to pay my debt and move on with my life.

 

What can I do ?

 

I have an EAD and looking for a job right now.

 

Your husband is afraid of your "ton of debt".

[Ortolan 381]

Just wondering: since you don't have a job now (I understand) and he's probably going to withdraw your financial support and not help you with your AOS, how on earth do you expect to survive here?  Perhaps the best thing might be to negotiate him paying for a move back to your home country, where at least you'd have family and friends.Seems like the least your husband could do since things seem to have broken down irretrievably.

 

Again, so very sorry; it's a really rotten situation.

[sillymeinUSA 0]

5 hours ago, AA1 said:

Your husband is afraid of your "ton of debt".

 Actually I got into debt because of him & I wanted to help him.

I learnt never to lend my credit acccount to anybody not even my mom !

Edited December 18, 2019 by sillymeinUSA

[sillymeinUSA 0]

55 minutes ago, Ortolan said:

Just wondering: since you don't have a job now (I understand) and he's probably going to withdraw your financial support and not help you with your AOS, how on earth do you expect to survive here?  Perhaps the best thing might be to negotiate him paying for a move back to your home country, where at least you'd have family and friends.Seems like the least your husband could do since things seem to have broken down irretrievably.

 

Again, so very sorry; it's a really rotten situation.

I know this is the right thing to do and I told him so.

I deserve to be put safely in my home country whatever is the result of this relationship-

I manage to make a couple of good friends in this city and have a little network here, they will allow me to stay here until I find a job. I think.

They know what it means to be alone here, not job and what it means what my husband is doing to me. They are inmigrants without family. 

 

 

Edited December 18, 2019 by sillymeinUSA

[sillymeinUSA 0]

On 12/16/2019 at 3:59 PM, Going through said:

To go down that route, USCIS will need (for example) psychologist evaluations, hospital records for any medical treatment you received, police reports regarding domestic violence, etc.  Photos can be doctored so USCIS will require a bit more than just that and a written statement from you to go down the VAWA road.  It's a higher set of criteria to fill, as you have to prove not only that the marriage was bonafide, but also prove the abuse happened.

 

You can ask for the AOS to be rescheduled, yes, with what the policy manual states as "good cause".   The policy manual also goes on to say the following:  In order to reschedule the interview, the adjudicator, in his or her discretion, must determine that the applicant, petitioner, beneficiary, or other individual is unable to appear at the scheduled date and time because of circumstances beyond the individual's control.   If the adjudicator determines that good cause exists for the applicant or petitioner's request, the adjudicator will reschedule the interview and mail a new interview notice. If the adjudicator determines that no good cause exists, the adjudicator will adjudicate the application or petition as instructed in AFM Chapter 15.1(d)(2) .Just saying you "need more time" probably isn't going to cut it.   USCIS is under no obligation to honor any request for rescheduling.

 

As mentioned, if your husband withdraws the i-864 (he doesn't need your consent or even your knowledge that he is doing so), then the AOS is automatically denied.  

 

 

Another option if you are looking to get funds to return home is to ask family and friends to loan it to you.

 

Yes, this is the result of huge quarrels and the tension of not having enough money and debts and this AOS.

It is not domestic violence per se. I think . Anyway I dont want to go down that route.