B1B2 visa and boyfriend

[Canerican 242]

2 hours ago, Paf94 said:

Yes I feel like if we did actually get a visa then I would be just be stressing over the airport arrival. It's crazy cause the US is really one of the only countries that regular denies border entry to people it approves visas for. 

 

I understand that it's strict because people break the rules, but at the same type our system is incredibly slow and being together with a spouse or family is pretty important. To sponsor a spouse (not the k1 but to sponsor their residency) it takes like a year doesn't it? A year of just waiting in your country without getting to live with your spouse. And then k1 still takes time and it doesn't make sense for the sponsoree since they won't be able to work nor leave the country for a while once they arrive. So I don't blame someone who lied because they didn't want to spend a year waiting to see their loved on, I'm blaming our system for being inadequate. 

 

Out of curiosity, I checked to see how long it would take for me to do the same thing in France if I got married. TWO WEEKS. 

As was said earlier, there are people before you who have caused the process to be the way it is today. 

 

I came here on a K-1 fully knowing what was going to happen. Is the wait long? Yes. That is why my now wife and I did the research to be able to understand how long it was going to take. My wife and I looked at the approval statistics here and she wanted a December wedding. My file did not get to the National Visa Center (NVC) till October 10, 2012 and we applied March 2012. We probably could have done a December wedding if the Consulate was not so busy but we came to the conclusion that this process was not in our control. Once I was done with all the information that I had to send in it was October 26 and then 4 months later was my interview. It was pretty much a year from the time we applied for the K-1 to my US entry. Did it suck to be apart? Yes. But we kept in contact and spoke to or videoed each other on a daily basis. Long distance relationships are hard but they do succeed. The myriads of us here that have marriages that have lasted throughout and after the process are proof that long distance relationships work for a year or so. 

 

As others have posted, if you want to meet with him over the holidays then either go to France or meet in a 3rd country. 

 

This process is long and at times not fair. I understand your frustration that you have to pay for other people's mistakes but the fact of the matter is that there is a process to immigration. 

[JFH 12,191]

6 hours ago, Paf94 said:

 It's helpful for me that it's super easy and painless for me to enter the EU, but I know it's not fair that I pay nothing and have no conditions to lose my visa waiver when that's not the case for Europeans. 

In your first post you said you are currently living in France. Now you say you are on a visa waiver (so you don’t have residency in France?). Are you “living” in France in a tourist status? Or do you have permanent residency? If it’s the former, you can see why your boyfriend is being refused. They obviously believe he’s going to pull the same trick. 

[Paf94 0]

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

In your first post you said you are currently living in France. Now you say you are on a visa waiver (so you don’t have residency in France?). Are you “living” in France in a tourist status? Or do you have permanent residency? If it’s the former, you can see why your boyfriend is being refused. They obviously believe he’s going to pull the same trick. 

No, of course not! I'm here on a student visa, I don't have permanent residency but I can work and have healthcare and all that jazz. 

 

Trust me I wish there was an easy answer as to why he was refused that we could fix. I want to maybe a try a third time before I have to go back next summer, but I feel like it'll just be another waste of 160 dollars. I don't know if anyone here has ever heard of a situation where someone got the visa on the third try.. 

 

But yeah I wasn't saying I used my visa waiver now, I'm just saying it's good that I have it in general because next year I'll be the only one who can visit when I have to go back to the US. 

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

3 hours ago, Paf94 said:

Yes I feel like if we did actually get a visa then I would be just be stressing over the airport arrival. It's crazy cause the US is really one of the only countries that regular denies border entry to people it approves visas for. 

 

I understand that it's strict because people break the rules, but at the same type our system is incredibly slow and being together with a spouse or family is pretty important. To sponsor a spouse (not the k1 but to sponsor their residency) it takes like a year doesn't it? A year of just waiting in your country without getting to live with your spouse. And then k1 still takes time and it doesn't make sense for the sponsoree since they won't be able to work nor leave the country for a while once they arrive. So I don't blame someone who lied because they didn't want to spend a year waiting to see their loved on, I'm blaming our system for being inadequate. 

 

Out of curiosity, I checked to see how long it would take for me to do the same thing in France if I got married. TWO WEEKS. 

It’s not “regular”, and that doesn’t usually happen with a new visa. Just for some perspective. An esta is NOT equivalent to an “approved visa”, which requires a lot more detailed information and an interview.  Even then it is not “regular” to get refused entry. 
 

The flip side of the above is that the US allows many more family relationships than most other countries to get visas. (Siblings of citizens and their families , married children of citizens and their families etc. pretty sure France doesn’t. ). I understand you’re focusing on your situation but there is a wider context in which the US is extremely generous with regards to family visas, many think too generous. 

Edited December 8, 2019 by SusieQQQ

[JFH 12,191]

15 minutes ago, Paf94 said:

because next year I'll be the only one who can visit when I have to go back to the US. 

Many of us are in that situation. Europe is not as welcoming as you might think. In our case my husband (USC) will never, ever be able to even visit my home country (the UK). He has a criminal record and because he was sentenced to 3 years in prison in the early 1990s that’s barred him for life. If it were me with a three-year sentence, at least the US has a waiver of ineligibility system in place. The UK does not. The US also accepts joint sponsors for immigrant visas. The UK does not. So I was the one who had to do all the traveling. And my husband will never meet the elderly relatives in my family who cannot travel here to see us. It is what it is.

 

I understand that you’re upset and angry about his denials. But that won’t change the situation. When life gives you lemons you make the best lemonade that you can. You are lucky that you have had as much time together as you did. Enjoy the good things. Ignore the bad things.

[dwheels76 5,468]

2 hours ago, Paf94 said:

No, of course not! I'm here on a student visa, I don't have permanent residency but I can work and have healthcare and all that jazz. 

 

Trust me I wish there was an easy answer as to why he was refused that we could fix. I want to maybe a try a third time before I have to go back next summer, but I feel like it'll just be another waste of 160 dollars. I don't know if anyone here has ever heard of a situation where someone got the visa on the third try.. 

 

But yeah I wasn't saying I used my visa waiver now, I'm just saying it's good that I have it in general because next year I'll be the only one who can visit when I have to go back to the US. 

If his situation hasn't change there it is a waste to apply again. Everything that got him denied is still there. You are still is US girlfriend.
They are probably thinking you guys are just waiting to get to US to marry and adjust status to get him a green card.

 

Even if you married him now and he tried for a visitor visa the ties now are no longer France, but US. You keep on applying you are showing immigration the desperation of trying to come to US and that raises a red flag to them. You need to just step back and wait it out and just accept he can;t get a visitor visa. Sorry.

[carmel34 3,650]

We make a choice when we start a serious relationship with someone who lives far away from our family in the US.  There are many drawbacks and they all factor into our decision to continue with it or not.  My now husband, whom I first met in Brazil, did not even apply for a tourist visa to visit me in the US during our dating period, because we knew he would likely be denied because of his love interest in the US.  So I went to be with him in Brazil 9 times in our two-year long distance relationship.  He finally was able to meet my family when he recently immigrated to the US on a CR-1 visa.  Life is good, but now he misses his friends and family a lot.  They cannot afford to come here and see him, even if they were able to get a B visa.  We're hoping to go back and spend time in Brazil next year.  In the meantime he does a lot of video calls.  In your case, your family could spend time with him virtually, video calling, as much as you want to.  It's not the same as in person but it is amazing how much you can get to know someone through the miracle of technology.  After all, that's how many of us started our relationships with our spouses or fiances.  We also realize that if we ever left the US, to live in Brazil down the road, that unless he is a US citizen by then, it will be very difficult for him to get a B visa to visit the US with me to see my family because of perceived immigrant intent.  So we make the best of our situation and do what we can.  We decided to go down this path of cross-border romance and relationship, no one forced us to.  We love each other, and we knew upfront all of the disadvantages of doing it--time apart, not being able to be with family, the cost of travel, immigration bureaucracies, waiting, time apart, etc.  As others have said, if meeting your boyfriend in person is important, maybe Canada or Mexico is a cheaper option for your family.  Good luck with your journey!

Edited December 8, 2019 by carmel34

[Paf94 0]

2 hours ago, JFH said:

Many of us are in that situation. Europe is not as welcoming as you might think. In our case my husband (USC) will never, ever be able to even visit my home country (the UK). He has a criminal record and because he was sentenced to 3 years in prison in the early 1990s that’s barred him for life. If it were me with a three-year sentence, at least the US has a waiver of ineligibility system in place. The UK does not. The US also accepts joint sponsors for immigrant visas. The UK does not. So I was the one who had to do all the traveling. And my husband will never meet the elderly relatives in my family who cannot travel here to see us. It is what it is.

 

I understand that you’re upset and angry about his denials. But that won’t change the situation. When life gives you lemons you make the best lemonade that you can. You are lucky that you have had as much time together as you did. Enjoy the good things. Ignore the bad things.

Thank you for your message. It's good to hear this from someone in a similar (or I'd say worse) situation. That really sucks that he can't visit. And you make a good point that I generalize when I say Europe, while many EU countries have some similar laws regarding immigration it's not all the same. France and the UK are definitely very different in that regard, I've heard the UK is pretty bad when it comes to immigration. 

 

You're right that we have to count our blessings. As much as I hate US hegemony I'm lucky that I have a powerful passport due to my citizenship, and that I'm not left in a tough mobility situation like some of my friends who have DACA. 

[Paf94 0]

23 minutes ago, dwheels76 said:

If his situation hasn't change there it is a waste to apply again. Everything that got him denied is still there. You are still is US girlfriend.
They are probably thinking you guys are just waiting to get to US to marry and adjust status to get him a green card.

 

Even if you married him now and he tried for a visitor visa the ties now are no longer France, but US. You keep on applying you are showing immigration the desperation of trying to come to US and that raises a red flag to them. You need to just step back and wait it out and just accept he can;t get a visitor visa. Sorry.

It's true what you're saying, it's not the answer I want to here but that's it. I think maybe the only time we could really try is if somewhere down the road we're very established in France (or some other country) like we would have property or something there. 

[geowrian 22,338]

7 hours ago, Paf94 said:

Although I do wonder if there's a general decline in visa issuance overall with the way our administration is handling things. I know for immigrant visas this is the case but not about non-immigrant visas. 

Other than countries that are barred from certain visas (without a waiver), non-immigrant visas are fundamentally unaffected. There do appear to be some longer waits with background checks in some cases.

 

6 hours ago, Paf94 said:

So I don't blame someone who lied because they didn't want to spend a year waiting to see their loved on, I'm blaming our system for being inadequate. 

Yeah, the system is slow. That's mostly due to very heavy demand and a large backlog.

No amount of wait justifies lying to immigration.

[Boiler 45,913]

1 hour ago, Paf94 said:

Thank you for your message. It's good to hear this from someone in a similar (or I'd say worse) situation. That really sucks that he can't visit. And you make a good point that I generalize when I say Europe, while many EU countries have some similar laws regarding immigration it's not all the same. France and the UK are definitely very different in that regard, I've heard the UK is pretty bad when it comes to immigration. 

 

You're right that we have to count our blessings. As much as I hate US hegemony I'm lucky that I have a powerful passport due to my citizenship, and that I'm not left in a tough mobility situation like some of my friends who have DACA. 

ROFL

 

You might want to take a drive to Calais.

[LegalAlienn 125]

 

4 hours ago, Paf94 said:

No, of course not! I'm here on a student visa, I don't have permanent residency but I can work and have healthcare and all that jazz. 

 

Trust me I wish there was an easy answer as to why he was refused that we could fix. I want to maybe a try a third time before I have to go back next summer, but I feel like it'll just be another waste of 160 dollars. I don't know if anyone here has ever heard of a situation where someone got the visa on the third try.. 

 

But yeah I wasn't saying I used my visa waiver now, I'm just saying it's good that I have it in general because next year I'll be the only one who can visit when I have to go back to the US. 

Hi.. unfortunately there is no third try luck.. my fiance and I met in college where we both played sports for college.. after that he worked in the states for a year on the OPT visa and after being rejected for his P1 visa, he had to leave the country.. we managed to do the long distance, where we were seeing each other at least once a year when I could go to visit, because he couldn't get a tourist visa for the US (tried three times, he didn't have any criminal records or anything bad)

Now, we are in process for K1 visa after he proposed this summer, and hopefully all those rejections won't affect this case. We've been dating for over 5 years.

Not sure to suggest you there, but I believe that the best option is just get married in France. If the reason is family meeting, then maybe your parents can come to Paris for a nice vacation and you guys can enjoy the time. 

Good luck

[HRQX 4,145]

12 hours ago, Paf94 said:

I pay nothing and have no conditions to lose my visa waiver

Note that the European Travel Information and Authorization System (ETIAS) will be implemented in 2021. It'll cost €7 to apply.

[SalishSea 18,073]

8 hours ago, Paf94 said:

Out of curiosity, I checked to see how long it would take for me to do the same thing in France if I got married. TWO WEEKS. 

Just a guess, but France probably has a way smaller backup volume of applications for family reunification visas.....

[SalishSea 18,073]

9 hours ago, Paf94 said:

Well my boyfriend read a blog of someone who did the same thing as him and had no trouble with getting a visa, but it was older. And the person in question was probably just lucky and also probably older and with a better job. But this blog post said that it's easy and the visa process is "just a formality" where you have to pay up more. Of course this is SO wrong and I think he really wasted his first try by not taking it seriously enough. 

 

Although I do wonder if there's a general decline in visa issuance overall with the way our administration is handling things. I know for immigrant visas this is the case but not about non-immigrant visas. 

Not smart to falsify information to get a visa, even if someone wrote about doing so in a blog.