Can I still come if my husband doesn't want me to?

[WaterLeaf 201]

1 hour ago, KATERINA123 said:

I know that this is not an immigration thing, but maybe you guys know how soon I can get a divorce? I read that we need to be separated for a year before filing?

He also said that he will take 50% of my money if we divorce and that I will get nothing because everything he has is not in his name.  I said he is an idiot for thinking that. 

I don't want anything from him, just for him to leave me alone.

Yeah whenever you do come in, don't let him know anything and have no communication at all. You should seriously change phone number/email address so he doesn't trace to you (and bug the hell out of you with giving you much stress and annoyance in life) but on your end you'll want to only update the USCIS/Your Embassy your new phone number/email and they generally do not give out that info. This will put you in a better place, and as soon you find a job (easiest one to start out with is the public related job like fast food, they are always hiring and people can always help you around with anything and tell you more!)

In the meantime, please take some time to check out this thread to prepare yourself.

You can do it very well and move on much easier like that. I would do the same if this situation happened to me. Good luck!

[LoveAlways2 90]

17 hours ago, KATERINA123 said:

I hope not LOL I am not a model

I was just reading this now

Well, it was pretty coincidental. I wish you the best on whatever you decide to do. I personally cannot give any advice in regards to the immigration visa because I don't have any experience with your specific situation. But I did went through divorce because my husband cheated. I was in the middle of removal of conditions so it was scary facing immigration in that regard letting them know I was going through divorce. But my 10 year green card was approved, and my life just changed for the better after i left my ex. My ex was also a blamer, he used really bad language with me when he was mad. 

 

So it may be hard, but it will get better.  Best of luck

[dwheels76 5,468]

8 hours ago, KATERINA123 said:

What is ToS??

Visajourney.com Terms of Service

[Russ&MaryAnn 110]

1 hour ago, WaterLeaf said:

and as soon you find a job (easiest one to start out with is the public related job like fast food, they are always hiring and people can always help you around with anything and tell you more!)

OP said she’s got a job lined up 

[JeanneAdil 6,583]

Lots of advice here to ponder

but aside from the immigration part,  he is your husband

that requires he needs to accept some responsibility as your spouse 

he can not just shovel you off by saying "don't want you anymore"

if you do come to the USA ,  do not sign divorce papers without seeing a lawyer here

he can serve papers to you if he wants a divorce thru the lawyer

 

If you are unable to come,  still do not sign papers he sends

i usually don't say anything when it comes to divorce but you gave up a job and sold everything to come to him

he now,  needs to understand how much this impacted you and your future and the pain it caused

 

on lighter side,   you are lucky you don't have to live with someone who blames others and can't accept his own issues

[Ontarkie 14,324]

~~Hijack post post removed along with one reply. Please do not post your own questions for your own case in other members threads.~~

[carmel34 3,646]

3 hours ago, KATERINA123 said:

I know that this is not an immigration thing, but maybe you guys know how soon I can get a divorce? I read that we need to be separated for a year before filing?

He also said that he will take 50% of my money if we divorce and that I will get nothing because everything he has is not in his name.  I said he is an idiot for thinking that. 

I don't want anything from him, just for him to leave me alone.

Katerina, your best next step is to get on the first flight possible to enter the US, even if it's only a quick trip and then you return home to get your affairs in order before you come back with all your stuff.  Use that IR-1 visa as soon as you can and take your evidence that the marriage was entered into in good faith with you in case CBP questions you because of something he does between now and then, like contact them or the consulate abroad or USCIS and claims fraud.

 

As for the divorce, I suggest that you file for divorce in the state where you take up residence in the US.  Get a good divorce attorney.  Maybe do some research about divorce law in the state where he lives and the state you will be living in to understand how property is divided in a divorce.  File wherever it is advantageous for your situation.  Normally, only the property that you accumulated while married is subject to the 50% division guideline, so most likely in your case that will be minimal.  If you own property together it could be more complicated.  If he fights the divorce it could be a long and expensive process unfortunately, with discovery and depositions and accountants and attorneys.  Save your evidence that he cheated, that he was abusive.  Don't give him any money, and fight for your rights.  Ask your divorce attorney to file a restraining order against him so that if he harasses you or threatens you, a police report can be filed, he can be arrested.  So sorry that you are going through this, but the light at the end of the tunnel is a new life in the US that hopefully will be good for you in the end.  You can always go back home later if you don't like it here.  Reach out to family and friends for emotional support.  Good luck to you!

Edited December 5, 2019 by carmel34

[Villanelle 4,122]

13 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html
 

This was given to Brian.  I did it.  9FAM and literal interpretation of 9FAM is not a TOS violation and never will be.

 

There is little to nothing that can be done once a visa has been issued in the passport, and even if rescinded the beneficiary has the right to appeal it.  It is not a matter of just cancelling the affidavit.  That can be done until the physical visa is issued just as it can be done during AOS up to the time the green card is issued.  After that, the rules change, the applicant is approved to immigrate, and the process is complete.

 

I think we agree more then we disagree... Im not comfortable with the wording 'the process is complete' (after issuance but before entry) because technically it can be revoked after issuance but before entry, so thats not process complete nothing can be done. It can still be revoked but it would need to be done before entry. After entry then I would consider it 'complete' and not able to be undone. Now Im not saying the process of getting a withdrawal acknowledged after issuance but before entry is simple! But it is possible and she does have 1 month + time until her scheduled entry so there is time for him to pursue a withdrawal. Right now she has been 'approved to immigrate' however until she actually does there is a way (and chance) for it to be stopped, so I am not comfortable presenting her with advice of you are 100% safe and nothing can happen to stop you.

 

Based on my understanding of how it works she would most likely know its being canceled before she starts to travel- the consulate would contact her to come back in so they could cancel her visa. But if they are unable to or by some odd chance of timing they are taking action while she is enroute or she avoids responding to their requests to come in,  they could alert CBP and theoretically grab her at a layover or at entry point to cancel it.  Very slim chance that happens but since it is possible she should be aware of such. 

 

And as a side note- I think its not so much of a TOS issue as it is a moral issue. Many people feel if a couple divorces the alien should not be allowed to ROC quoting the purpose of residency is for family unity so if they are not going to be with the US spouse they shouldnt have residency. Obviously ROC is allowed for those that divorce. And its similar in this case. Once the CR/IR visa is issued the alien is allowed to use it regardless of what the relationship status is. Many people may not like that and find it morally reprehensible but because it is allowed under policy we should not be withholding applicable information just because we dont agree with it.  Fortunately theres not much of that going on in this thread but I have seen it in other threads..

 

 

 

[R&OC 371]

Katarina,

 

I would make sure that you secure all the documents you may need. Do you guys have a shared account? Do you share bills? Can you get your hands on such copies? You may also need the tax reports.

 

He filled out an affidavit of support for you. Based on that, unless you guys had a sponsor, you know what he is earning.

 

All in all, dogs that bark do not necessarily bite when it comes to division of assets. The more noise he is making right now the less concerned I am. I don't think he thought this was coming. It doesn't sound like he had a plan in place and was meticulously executing that. And to hear him say that you need to pay him etc sounds more desperate than anything.

 

If I were you, I would disengage and ignore any discussion about finances. If possible, I would book a quick weekend trip to the US and activate your GC, change your address, find a place to stay and contact a lawyer.

[KATERINA123 10]

1 minute ago, R&OC said:

Katarina,

 

I would make sure that you secure all the documents you may need. Do you guys have a shared account? Do you share bills? Can you get your hands on such copies? You may also need the tax reports.

 

He filled out an affidavit of support for you. Based on that, unless you guys had a sponsor, you know what he is earning.

 

All in all, dogs that bark do not necessarily bite when it comes to division of assets. The more noise he is making right now the less concerned I am. I don't think he thought this was coming. It doesn't sound like he had a plan in place and was meticulously executing that. And to hear him say that you need to pay him etc sounds more desperate than anything.

 

If I were you, I would disengage and ignore any discussion about finances. If possible, I would book a quick weekend trip to the US and activate your GC, change your address, find a place to stay and contact a lawyer.

We share nothing, I refused to open an account with him because he is reckless with money.

I do have his tax reports because I am the one who has the password to his IRS account, he is too lazy to take care of thing, I used to do his taxes.   

[R&OC 371]

3 minutes ago, KATERINA123 said:

We share nothing, I refused to open an account with him because he is reckless with money.

I do have his tax reports because I am the one who has the password to his IRS account, he is too lazy to take care of thing, I used to do his taxes.   

Then secure copies of everything in case passwords are changed. And just keep a file safe somewhere.

[Boiler 45,767]

Well we know the OP has assets, well the cash results anyway, unclear about her husband. Anyway as others have said an equitable distribution would be a matter for the Courts and to some extent depends on the State involved.

[WaterLeaf 201]

4 hours ago, Russ&MaryAnn said:

OP said she’s got a job lined up 

My bad.

 

Questionably, does the guy know where is she going to work at? Something she may have to consider for safety reasons.

[arken 4,197]

19 minutes ago, WaterLeaf said:

My bad.

 

Questionably, does the guy know where is she going to work at? Something she may have to consider for safety reasons.

It doesn’t matter. Finding one isn’t that difficult in the US. They will probably encounter each other during divorce anyway. She will have to involve cops if she gets threatening approach from him.

 

[Boiler 45,767]

1 minute ago, arken said:

It doesn’t matter. Finding one isn’t that difficult in the US. They will probably encounter each other during divorce anyway. She will have to involve cops if she gets threatening approach from him.

 

Well her job/income is part of the discovery process.