Can I still come if my husband doesn't want me to?

[Canerican 242]

7 hours ago, LoveAlways2 said:

OMg are you Brian's wife??

 

 

Funny story....I was just thinking the same thing as I was going through the posts. Thank you for clarifying @KATERINA123.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

2 hours ago, Villanelle said:

The advice given to Brian that there was nothing he could do about it was incorrect. A petitioner can pull their underlying 130 and/or 864 up until the moment the visa is used at POE. When the 130/864 is pulled the visa is no longer valid.

 

For this thread her flight to the US is not until Jan, so theres plenty of time for the US spouse to pull their support and she will not be allowed entry... She may want to look into getting a sooner flight. As for TOS IMO its a tricky situation. Yes there is the concept of family unity to consider however in policy as long as the info was correct at the time of the visa issuance and no formal withdraw is made it is still considered to be valid. So I feel it is appropriate under the TOS to advise her of such.

 

There was another user a while back (kkk1 or something like that) who was CR and also had no intentions of living with the spouse and was able to enter with no issues as the spouse did not withdraw prior to his entry. He has to go through ROC (or maybe already did? Dont remember how long ago it was now). But in this case there will be no ROC - perhaps if she applies for citizenship in the future her entry and non cohabitation with spouse may be questioned..

 

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html
 

This was given to Brian.  I did it.  9FAM and literal interpretation of 9FAM is not a TOS violation and never will be.

 

There is little to nothing that can be done once a visa has been issued in the passport, and even if rescinded the beneficiary has the right to appeal it.  It is not a matter of just cancelling the affidavit.  That can be done until the physical visa is issued just as it can be done during AOS up to the time the green card is issued.  After that, the rules change, the applicant is approved to immigrate, and the process is complete.

 

Edited December 5, 2019 by Nitas_man

[KATERINA123 10]

What is ToS??

[R&OC 370]

I am so sorry you are going through this all. If he hadn't cheated, I would have put it down to last minute panic but this is a different story.

 

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I am hearing this among immigrants. We go through so much risk to be with out partners without having the advantage to experience them on a daily basis. A lot of decisions are based on faith and hope.

 

As for his personality: He is a blamer. A blamer doesn't take responsibility for his own actions or lack of actions. It won't change and gets old very quickly unless a blamer has the potential to grow up and change. So no matter what, you would have to deal with someone blaming you (or whomever) for whatever goes wrong in his or her life.

 

Since you already sold everything, go and take up that new job. Start all over! I went through a divorce before I met my husband and really had the best life ever AFTER the divorce. I wish I had known that before because I spent years fixing a marriage that couldn't be fixed (and now I am watching my ex-husbands new partner going through the exact same issues). If I were you, I would leave a little earlier just to be on the safe side even if you have to return a few days later to your home country and celebrate the festive season at home.

 

Good luck!

[KATERINA123 10]

3 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html
 

This was given to Brian.  I did it.  9FAM and literal interpretation of 9FAM is not a TOS violation and never will be.

 

There is little to nothing that can be done once a visa has been issued in the passport, and even if rescinded the beneficiary has the right to appeal it.  It is not a matter of just cancelling the affidavit.  That can be done until the physical visa is issued just as it can be done during AOS up to the time the green card is issued.  After that, the rules change, the applicant is approved to immigrate, and the process is complete.

 

I'm super scared and probably won't sleep until I get there.

He's been calling me and being very angry, he keeps saying everything is my fault for leaving, I left because my family needed me, my mother was dying.

I did everything for him, I helped him open his business, I never would have left my country if it wasn't for him, I had a good job.

I feel so sad that he is talking to me now the way he does, I was not the one who cheated.

I am scared that he will find out where I live somehow and do something to me.

 

[KATERINA123 10]

7 minutes ago, R&OC said:

I am so sorry you are going through this all. If he hadn't cheated, I would have put it down to last minute panic but this is a different story.

 

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I am hearing this among immigrants. We go through so much risk to be with out partners without having the advantage to experience them on a daily basis. A lot of decisions are based on faith and hope.

 

As for his personality: He is a blamer. A blamer doesn't take responsibility for his own actions or lack of actions. It won't change and gets old very quickly unless a blamer has the potential to grow up and change. So no matter what, you would have to deal with someone blaming you (or whomever) for whatever goes wrong in his or her life.

 

Since you already sold everything, go and take up that new job. Start all over! I went through a divorce before I met my husband and really had the best life ever AFTER the divorce. I wish I had known that before because I spent years fixing a marriage that couldn't be fixed (and now I am watching my ex-husbands new partner going through the exact same issues). If I were you, I would leave a little earlier just to be on the safe side even if you have to return a few days later to your home country and celebrate the festive season at home.

 

Good luck!

You are right, he is a blamer, I should have seen this a long time ago.

He always blamed his mother for everything that didn't work out in his life and now he found a new person to balm - me.

even for stupid things - a few months ago he booked a flight to come see me and he booked a hotel for us to stay so we won't have to stay with my family. when he got to the airport he realized that the flight was for the next day, he made a mistake, he didn't see that it said +1 days, and obviously he blamed me for not checking and not telling him, then he spent the week arguing with me that it's my fault he paid for one extra day at the hotel.

"you should have looked at the screenshot I sent you" 

[B&C2017 123]

12 hours ago, LoveAlways2 said:

OMg are you Brian's wife??

 

 

Hahahahaha, that was exactly my thought 😂

[TBoneTX 44,868]

2 hours ago, KATERINA123 said:

What is ToS??

Shorthand for the site's Terms of Service:  https://www.visajourney.com/terms-of-service/

A lot of abbreviations are used here.  

[Nitas_man 3,100]

1 hour ago, TBoneTX said:

Shorthand for the site's Terms of Service:  https://www.visajourney.com/terms-of-service/

A lot of abbreviations are used here.  

A section that Tx reminds me to review periodically LOL

 

[Nitas_man 3,100]

3 hours ago, KATERINA123 said:

I'm super scared and probably won't sleep until I get there.

He's been calling me and being very angry, he keeps saying everything is my fault for leaving, I left because my family needed me, my mother was dying.

I did everything for him, I helped him open his business, I never would have left my country if it wasn't for him, I had a good job.

I feel so sad that he is talking to me now the way he does, I was not the one who cheated.

I am scared that he will find out where I live somehow and do something to me.

 

Please read that link.  

 

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html

 

You’re in a gray area of the process and there is a possibility that he can make problems for you prior to entry.The actions that you say you have taken indicate at face value that you entered this marriage in good faith and if you are contacted to return to the embassy you have a (rare but priceless) right to appeal any further action on your case.  The burden of proof on him is to prove fraud, the burden of proof on you is to prove that you entered this marriage in good faith.

 

Save everything he says and does.  For example:  A request for payment in return for “keeping the green card” is a clear violation of law on his part and I’d advise you not to consider that for anything.  
 

Good luck

[KATERINA123 10]

41 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

Please read that link.  

 

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html

 

You’re in a gray area of the process and there is a possibility that he can make problems for you prior to entry.The actions that you say you have taken indicate at face value that you entered this marriage in good faith and if you are contacted to return to the embassy you have a (rare but priceless) right to appeal any further action on your case.  The burden of proof on him is to prove fraud, the burden of proof on you is to prove that you entered this marriage in good faith.

 

Save everything he says and does.  For example:  A request for payment in return for “keeping the green card” is a clear violation of law on his part and I’d advise you not to consider that for anything.  
 

Good luck

No way I'm gonna give him anything, he thinks he can cheat on me, use me and then blackmail me by demanding money, I have screenshots of everything he said just in case.

[KATERINA123 10]

I know that this is not an immigration thing, but maybe you guys know how soon I can get a divorce? I read that we need to be separated for a year before filing?

He also said that he will take 50% of my money if we divorce and that I will get nothing because everything he has is not in his name.  I said he is an idiot for thinking that. 

I don't want anything from him, just for him to leave me alone.

[Kartineecartoons 53]

15 hours ago, LoveAlways2 said:

OMg are you Brian's wife??

 

 

My first thought when I read the title. 😬

[Nitas_man 3,100]

15 hours ago, Boiler said:

IR1 is a family reunification visa, fascinated to see how the ToS addresses this.

https://legalbeagle.com/5720807-revoke-immigration-sponsorship.html
 

Pretty good summary of how things work with immigrant visas, very similar to AOS stage.

OP’s husband could have pulled out at any point until the visa was actually issued in the passport.  

[ThomasNC1988 762]

Book a round trip flight over the weekend and do a touchdown to activate the visa. Bing bang boom you're a greencard holder and no worries.