Can I still come if my husband doesn't want me to?

[KATERINA123 10]

We've been married for 2 years and 2 months, I received my IR1 visa a month ago and bought a ticket for January.

I sold my apartment, my car and quit my job, I have a new job waiting for me in the states.

Two weeks ago my husband sent me a screenshot and he didn't notice that at the top a message popped, it was from some woman and it was clear from that message that he is cheating on me (I have to admit that I kinda felt that he changed and became more cold in the past few months).

I confronted him about it and after that he started cursing me and completely changed, started accusing me, said that I abandoned him and that I should have applied form the US and not left to apply from my country, that no man would wait, basically said that everything is my fault.

Obviously I don't want to be with him anymore and I want to get a divorce, I don't want a cheating husband, he said that he doesn't want me to come anymore and said that he is going to cancel my visa and file for divorce based on abandonment.

He also said that if I want to get my green card he wants me to give him the money I got from the apartment that I sold.

 

Can I still come and rent my own place? can I change the address so he won't get my green card? he won't give it to me if he gets it.

Please don't judge me for still wanting to come. 

 

  

[Lemonslice 4,922]

You have your visa, you can come. Note that he might try to notify the embassy or CBP that he'd prefer if you did not enter the US.  

 

If you are certain you want to move, you might want to come in as soon as possible.

[KATERINA123 10]

16 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

You have your visa, you can come. Note that he might try to notify the embassy or CBP that he'd prefer if you did not enter the US.  

 

If you are certain you want to move, you might want to come in as soon as possible.

I don't have to live with him? what if they come to check? I am worried what if they notice that only I changed the address and he didn't.

Also won't they think it's suspicious at the POE that I changed the address? 

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

Ummmm, no, you cannot immigrate if you are not going to live with the spouse that filed for you.  That is immigration fraud.  

[Boiler 45,757]

IR1 is a family reunification visa, fascinated to see how the ToS addresses this.

[KATERINA123 10]

8 minutes ago, Boiler said:

IR1 is a family reunification visa, fascinated to see how the ToS addresses this.

What is TOS?

[LoveAlways2 90]

OMg are you Brian's wife??

 

 

[Boiler 45,757]

7 minutes ago, LoveAlways2 said:

OMg are you Brian's wife??

 

 

Seems otherwise coincidental, wonder of this thread will get closed?

[KATERINA123 10]

9 minutes ago, LoveAlways2 said:

OMg are you Brian's wife??

 

 

I hope not LOL I am not a model

I was just reading this now

Edited December 4, 2019 by KATERINA123

[Carpe Vinum 2,327]

I'm not going to comment on what you should or should not do. I just want to say that I empathize with you. It must be terrible to give up almost everything in your home country and have your partner turn their back on you. I hope things work out in your life whatever you decide to do...All the best.

[carmel34 3,646]

If you have the IR1 visa in your passport you can enter the US immediately.  At POE, give the CBP officer that processes your case and stamps your visa the address you want your SS card and green card mailed to.  Then contact USCIS after you enter the US and make sure they also have your correct mailing address.  There's nothing your husband can do about this, you'll get your 10-year green card without him.  He can't cancel your visa or extort money from you. You can come to the US if you want to.  It's up to you if you tell him where you are living in the US.  If I were in your situation, I wouldn't tell him.  File for divorce after you enter the US and move on with your life.  The only change this will have on your immigration journey is that you will need to wait five years to apply for US citizenship instead of 3.  And, save all your documents showing that your marriage was entered into in good faith, that it was bona fide for those two years or more that it lasted, as you might get asked about this if you apply for citizenship or renew your green card in ten years.  Good luck!

Edited December 4, 2019 by carmel34

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

No one seemed to raise any ToS issues when Brian was told his wife could still come to the US. Not sure why it’s different in this case?

[Boiler 45,757]

3 hours ago, MorganandMichael said:

No one seemed to raise any ToS issues when Brian was told his wife could still come to the US. Not sure why it’s different in this case?

Never ever second guess the ToS, I am certainly not qualified to do so hence my comment.

 

We have had situations with a degree of similarity where a parent sponsored a child but moved back to their home country and it was pretty clear had not intention to ever return so no family reunification, similar to this situation.

 

I did not read the whole Brian thread but someone mentioned getting the visa pulled and I am not sure how realistic that is but would scupper the deal if it was.

 

From a Brian 2 perspective then he of course supplied the I 864 and would presumably not be that keen on it going through.

 

Not the first time this has come up but I can not recollect what happened previously.

Edited December 5, 2019 by Boiler

[Villanelle 4,122]

23 minutes ago, Boiler said:

 

 

Not the first time this has come up but I can not recollect what happened previously.

The advice given to Brian that there was nothing he could do about it was incorrect. A petitioner can pull their underlying 130 and/or 864 up until the moment the visa is used at POE. When the 130/864 is pulled the visa is no longer valid.

 

For this thread her flight to the US is not until Jan, so theres plenty of time for the US spouse to pull their support and she will not be allowed entry... She may want to look into getting a sooner flight. As for TOS IMO its a tricky situation. Yes there is the concept of family unity to consider however in policy as long as the info was correct at the time of the visa issuance and no formal withdraw is made it is still considered to be valid. So I feel it is appropriate under the TOS to advise her of such.

 

There was another user a while back (kkk1 or something like that) who was CR and also had no intentions of living with the spouse and was able to enter with no issues as the spouse did not withdraw prior to his entry. He has to go through ROC (or maybe already did? Dont remember how long ago it was now). But in this case there will be no ROC - perhaps if she applies for citizenship in the future her entry and non cohabitation with spouse may be questioned..

 

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

46 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Never ever second guess the ToS, I am certainly not qualified to do so hence my comment.

 

We have had situations with a degree of similarity where a parent sponsored a child but moved back to their home country and it was pretty clear had not intention to ever return so no family reunification, similar to this situation.

 

I did not read the whole Brian thread but someone mentioned getting the visa pulled and I am not sure how realistic that is but would scupper the deal if it was.

 

From a Brian 2 perspective then he of course supplied the I 864 and would presumably not be that keen on it going through.

 

Not the first time this has come up but I can not recollect what happened previously.

I wasn’t second guessing anything, I was asking a question. That’s what a “?” generally indicates.

 

I’m on my phone so posting direct quotes is a little different, but there were multiple posts by different users along the lines of “your wife can still use her visa to come to the US” and “your wife has completed the required steps to obtain a visa, she has a valid visa”. Change “your wife” to “you” in those comments and post them here, automatic TOS violation? I’m honestly interested to know.

 

As for Brian 2’s obligations Re: I-864, that sounds like his issue, not OP’s. Probably should have thought that through before cheating on his wife. 

Edited December 5, 2019 by MorganandMichael