Let’s stop praising men who deign to date women almost their own age

[Boiler 45,981]

Keanu Reeves comes across as a sweetheart, but I’m not sure he actually deserves a sainthood for dating artist Alexandra Grant, who, at 46, is still nine years younger than him.

Nevertheless, their recent appearance on the red carpet (Grant, elegant with natural grey hair) was hailed as refreshing, even groundbreaking. So it goes with the twisted maths of male-female age-appropriateness, especially in Hollywood – a man seen with anyone who isn’t half his age is hailed as a feminist god walking among us.

But why wouldn’t Reeves date Grant? She appears to be smart, talented, fun, a catch. But this is beyond one couple – this is about the gender politics of success and how society tells successful men that they “deserve” not only a beautiful, but also a much younger woman.

At least this (smallish age gap) counts as a novelty. Usually, we nosy types find the larger age gaps intriguing. Some such relationships defy the odds and work. Others look unhealthy, especially if one party is not just younger, but also young, period – too young for them to have much hope of real agency in their relationship. Then there’s that other kind of age gap, with the freaky gendered socioeconomic dimension – where snagging a much younger woman becomes as much a signifier of male success as a mansion or a Porsche. Here, the younger woman is less a human being than a male acquisition or achievement. I always wondered why some men were forever moaning nastily about gold-diggers.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/09/stop-praising-men-who-date-women-almost-their-own-age-keanu-reeves

[Boketto 211]

Lol... It’s only an issue when the media makes it an issue! 

 

Some men want to date very young and beautiful women purely for appearances sake, and some fall in love with women who are incidentally much younger than them because they fit well together as a couple.

 

What a shocker - different people have different needs depending on what they are looking for at that particular point in life. It’s not always about politics! 

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

28 minutes ago, Boketto said:

Lol... It’s only an issue when the media makes it an issue! 

 

Some men want to date very young and beautiful women purely for appearances sake, and some fall in love with women who are incidentally much younger than them because they fit well together as a couple.

 

What a shocker - different people have different needs depending on what they are looking for at that particular point in life. It’s not always about politics! 

Exactly!  Who cares about ages?

 

My wife is younger than me, but she's looking for a BF several years younger than she, so shouldn't that offset our age difference??  Seems like it should...

[Boketto 211]

11 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Exactly!  Who cares about ages?

 

My wife is younger than me, but she's looking for a BF several years younger than she, so shouldn't that offset our age difference??  Seems like it should...

As long as her age + her potential bf’s age > your age, I think you’re golden 😉

[yuna628 9,700]

Handsome man dates a beautiful woman. Who cares how old they are?

[laylalex 7,300]

Personally I'm only really attracted to men my own age but I don't care what other people do in their bedrooms. They look happy so big whoop!

[90DayFinancier 910]

49 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

Handsome man dates a beautiful woman. Who cares how old they are?

Careful, some might be triggered. Does she bring him lunch on time?

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,378]

PS the myth of the submissive Asian women is just that, telling for a friend

[laylalex 7,300]

Just now, 90DayFinancier said:

Careful, some might be triggered. Does she bring him lunch on time?

Lolololol I read all of that, been at a wedding all day (not my own). I have some thoughts but we're still on our way back from this thing. I gave Al the gist and he also had a Mood about it too.

 

Btw, they gave us very disappointing prosecco for the toasts while the bride and groom had Perrier Jouet. Not impressed!!

[TBoneTX 45,998]

2 hours ago, laylalex said:

the bride and groom had Perrier Jouet

Gesundheit, and I hope that they recover soon.

[Neonred 3,633]

8 hours ago, laylalex said:

Lolololol I read all of that, been at a wedding all day (not my own). I have some thoughts but we're still on our way back from this thing. I gave Al the gist and he also had a Mood about it too.

 

Btw, they gave us very disappointing prosecco for the toasts while the bride and groom had Perrier Jouet. Not impressed!!

Who's the snob?

 

I have a fine bottle of prosecco in the fridge that I picked up at Costco last week....for about $8.

[yuna628 9,700]

10 hours ago, 90DayFinancier said:

Careful, some might be triggered. Does she bring him lunch on time?

She might, she might not. Either way Mr. Reeves will likely appreciate the effort and be kind. 

[laylalex 7,300]

3 hours ago, Neonred said:

Who's the snob?

 

I have a fine bottle of prosecco in the fridge that I picked up at Costco last week....for about $8.

It wasn't the price I had a problem with -- I have been known to drink more than a few bottles of well-priced prosecco myself -- but the quality. It wasn't nice -- too sweet, and I hate a sweet sparkler. It was just like... why are you giving only the best to yourselves and forcing your guests to drink stuff that isn't very nice? It's kind of rude. It's not like these people couldn't afford something a little nicer (and I'm not saying give every table its own bottle of grand cuvee or anything), just something not quite so aggressively nasty.

[Boiler 45,981]

The issue is the differential in the quality of the wine, personally if I am not paying well I have no right to complain as a general comment, but if somebody else is and they get the nice stuff and give me the nasty well...

[yuna628 9,700]

Maybe I'm old fashioned. Planning a wedding and steeling ourselves from having tons of people furious about our choices even as we graciously paid for them to be there, and worked around their needs at expense of our own, I don't know if some have the right to complain you know? For ours half drink and half don't, and to keep costs low and prevent fighting, we said no alcohol. We got a nice bottle for ourselves later. Some wanted to bring their kids, and we said no, again to keep costs down low and keep the peace. Oh how there was wailing and childish behavior. But since everyone wanted us to have a 'wedding' instead of eloping, then why complain when we have a wedding the way we want it?

 

I'm not a fan of alcohol snobbery. Alcohol is alcohol, there's nice tasting ones and bad tasting ones. What one enjoys, may not be enjoyed by another. It's only a toast, it could have been no booze at all - and afterall it's a wedding, and someone else is paying for it.