Jump to content

6 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: Timeline
Posted

Overview: I had to take my son’s lizard to the vet. Here’s what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, dad, can you help?”

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom.

One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed.

I immediately knew what to do. “Honey,” I called, “come look at the lizard!”

“Oh my! gosh,” my wife diagnosed after a minute. “She’s having babies.”

“What?” my son demanded. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!”

I was equally outraged.

“Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn’t want them to reproduce,” I accused my wife.

“Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?” she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

“No, but you were supposed to get two boys!” I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

“Yeah, Bert and Ernie!” my son agreed.

“Well, it’s just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,” she informed me.

(Again with the sarcasm) By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on.

I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

“Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced.

“We’re about to witness the miracle of birth.”

“Oh, gross!” they shrieked.

“Well, isn’t THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?”

My wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too.)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. “We don’t appear to be making much progress,” I noted.

“It’s breech,” my wife whispered, horrified.

“Do something, Dad!” my son urged.

“Okay, okay.” Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared.

I tried several more times with the same results.

“Should I call 911,” my eldest daughter wanted to >know.

“Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.” (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

“Let’s get Ernie to the vet,” I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

“Breathe, Ernie, breathe,” he urged.

“I don’t think lizards do Lamaze,” his mother noted to him.

(Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for heaven’s sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

“What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” I suggested scientifically.

“Oh, very interesting,” he murmured. “Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?”

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. “Is Ernie going to be okay?” my wife asked.

“Oh, perfectly,” the Vet assured us.

“This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn’t EVER going to happen… Ernie is a boy.

You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um….um….pleasure themselves. Just the way he did, lying on his back.”

He blushed, glancing at my wife.

“Well, you know what I’m saying, Mr. Cameron.”

We were silent, absorbing this.

“So Ernie’s just…just… excited,” my wife offered.

“Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle.

And then even laugh loudly.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face.

Laughing “It’s just…that…I’m picturing you pulling on its… its…teeny little…”, she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

“That’s enough,” I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

“I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you’ve done, Dad,” he told me.

“Oh, you have NO idea,” Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Lizards - $140…

1 - Cage - $50…

Trip to the Vet - $30…

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard’s winkie… Priceless!

Moral of the story - finish biology class - most lizards lay eggs!

(This was NOT me, rather it was some other poor soul… I got it off a post on an engineering message board that I frequent. It was too good to pass up!)

source http://www.mostlycajun.com/wordpress/

Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Now that was funny :lol:

Married on 11/21/06 in her hometown city Tumauini located in the Isabela province (Republic of the Philippines)

I-129 Timeline

12/12/06 - Mailed I-129 package to Chicago Service Center

12/14/06 - Received by Chicago Service Center

12/18/06 - NOA1 notice date from Missouri (NBC)

12/21/06 - NOA1 received in mail

12/27, 12/29, 12/31 - Touches

01/06/07 - Transfered to California Service Center

01/11/07 - Arrived at California Service Center

1/12, 1/16, 1/17, 2/6 - Touches

02/06/07 - NOA2 from California Service Center

02/11/07 - Received NOA2 in mail

02/15/07 - Arrived at the NVC - MNL case # assigned

02/20/07 - Sent to US Embassy in Manila

02/26/07 - Received at Embassy

03/30/07 - Packet 4 received

05/09/07 - Medical scheduled (did early)

05/16/07 - Interview

05/23/07 - Visa Delivered

05/25/07 - POE in Newark, NJ

I-130 Timeline

11/27/06 - Mailed I-130 package to Texas Service Center

11/29/06 - Package received by Texas Service Center

12/06/06 - NOA1 notice date from California Service Center

12/09/06 - Touch

12/11/06 - NOA1 received in mail

02/06/07 - NOA2 from California Service Center

02/11/07 - Received NOA2 in mail (I-130 held at CSC)

--------------------

Pinoy Info Forum - For the members of Asawa.org in diaspora

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Jamaica
Timeline
Posted

I would rather beleive that the thing was pregnant :jest::lol::lol:

12/03/2005: Married

10/13/2006: Interview Approved

10/26/2006: POE: EWR (ARRIVED) [/size]

182 days from filing to Visa in Hand!!![/color]

AOS/EAD

01/22/2007: Sent to The Lockbox.....let the games begin.....again

02/02/2007: NOA1's for both....the waiting game officially begins

02/15/2007: Biometrics appt.

04/11/2007: EAD APPROVED!! YI-HAW

04/21/2007: Received SSN#

05/23/2007: AOS Interview -------> APPROOOOOOVED!!!!!!

05/29/2007: Received Welcome letter

06/04/2007: Green Card in Hand!!!

122 Days from filing AOS to Green Card in Hand!!!

REMOVING CONDITIONS

05/21/2009: Filed to Remove Conditions

6/18/2009: Biometrics Done

09/14/2009: Approved!!!

Citizenship

2/15/2011: Filed N-400

3/28/2011: Biometrics <-- Done

5/09/2011: Naturalization Interview <--- APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5/09/2011: Swearing in Ceremony (We're Done)

MY HUSBAND IS NOW A US CITIZEN

Proudmomwife.gifI_love_my_baby_boy.gif

3051_1113026182751_1139795553_30500807_687968_s.jpgZackie.jpgthumb_3051_1113025702739_1139795553_30500806_7039703_s.jpg

 

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -

Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...