I am really confused and I need VJ's help!

[Fandango 1,439]

Ok guys, not sure if this is where this topic should be posted, but what the hell.

I am recently engaged to a Brit boy...we've been together over 6 years. Our relationship has been fine the way it has been - without talk of 'the future' etc....I am once divorced...got married wayyyyyyyy too young, and for the most part of this relationship, I have been enjoying adulthood & the freedom of not being married. Not freedom to mess about, just gaining my own sense of who I am. I love my boo dearly & cannot imagine a life without him - so it's not that I didn't want to get married to him, just haven't been ready until now.

Anyways, lately that has changed & I am sick of the transient nature of this relationship. So we're planning a wedding. That's what brought me here to VJ in the first place. Now I have been reading up on all the rules, laws, forms, etc...but I'm still kinda lost.

Our original plan was to have him come on a K-1, get married on a carribbean cruise with 20-odd people (and boy are they odd , jk) and all would be fine. And now I know that's not poss cos of the restrictions with leaving the country on a K-1. But I do want a nice wedding! I don't want the whole 'we'll do another ceremony later' thing cos that's not the same feel. However, I suppose this wouldnt' be the end of the world if we had to postpone a nice do. I wouldn't have him come over the full three months before, because I'd rather him stay in the UK for as long as poss before the wedding because he has a good job & makes a nice wage. The more time there=the more money he can bring over.

Plus, if I had to start paperwork now, there are a couple of issues (listed below) that are problematic.

I have also not worked for about 4 years...been traveling back and forth to the UK...so the whole support issue might be a probbo. Though I've started working late last year in the real estate field (I am a licensed Realtor) and the money has been great...but as far as tax returns go, it's pitiful...because I only started in Sept.

I'm also living right now with my family. I didn't want to look into buying a house until after D gets here...cos then it's not all on me....Plus, right now, I would like the oppt'y for us to save as much as we can so that we can have a massive down payment. While the RE profession is great, the one thing it doesn't supply is a regular wage you can depend on. This also concerns me because with him not being able to work when he first gets here, it's all on me to bring in the cash. Of course, we can live off our savings, but that always gets me nervous as I'd rather keep that as a safety net in case something goes wrong.

I don't want to get a co-sponsor. I don't want to have to ask my family to help me...I feel I've leaned on them enough & want to somehow do this on my own.

So then I started looking into k3/cr1...but from what I've read, some people have been apart for about a year after that! And since the wedding won't be until the latter part of this year, that would mean him not getting here til late 2007/early2008. However, I'm told that if it was a spousal visa, his finances could be taken into account as joint finances. I do like the fact that he can travel with this visa, as if something goes horribly wrong back home, he can just go at a moment's notice & not have to worry about getting AP.

Any advice/personal experiences you guys can share would be greatly appreciated. I'm not looking for anyone to give me magic answers, and I know that I have to familiarize myself with the terms so that if someone says 'file a 1234cblahblah form' I don't have to go look around as to what that term refers to. But I'm still hopelessly lost & feeling a bit like a hyper poodle going in 50 million different directions.

Thank you for reading this!

[pax 0]

I wouldn't have him come over the full three months before, because I'd rather him stay in the UK for as long as poss before the wedding because he has a good job & makes a nice wage. The more time there=the more money he can bring over.

Just so you know--with a K-1, he has six months to use the visa, and then, upon entry into the States, 90 days in which to marry. So, theoretically, he could work for 5 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days, and then come to the States. Most people don't do it that way, but there's nothing saying you can't.

I have also not worked for about 4 years...been traveling back and forth to the UK...so the whole support issue might be a probbo. Though I've started working late last year in the real estate field (I am a licensed Realtor) and the money has been great...but as far as tax returns go, it's pitiful...because I only started in Sept.

If you file for a K-1 or K-3 in London, you do NOT need to present tax returns unless you are self-employed. An I-134 accompanied by a letter from your current employer (stating your position, starting date, and current salary) and a letter from your bank (stating the age of your account, your present balance, and your total deposits for the past year) will suffice.

I'm also living right now with my family. I didn't want to look into buying a house until after D gets here...cos then it's not all on me....Plus, right now, I would like the oppt'y for us to save as much as we can so that we can have a massive down payment. While the RE profession is great, the one thing it doesn't supply is a regular wage you can depend on. This also concerns me because with him not being able to work when he first gets here, it's all on me to bring in the cash. Of course, we can live off our savings, but that always gets me nervous as I'd rather keep that as a safety net in case something goes wrong.

I don't want to get a co-sponsor. I don't want to have to ask my family to help me...I feel I've leaned on them enough & want to somehow do this on my own.

I can completely relate! Plenty of VJers have felt the same way. But at the same time, marriage in its original intent was about the union of two families. You and your DH will need, and want, the support of your families in many ways. There's no shame in asking them to back you up on it. You can make clear to your family that you understand it will be your obligation as a couple to support each other, but that the DoS simply wants to ascertain that your sweetie will not be a public burden.

...However, I'm told that if it was a spousal visa, his finances could be taken into account as joint finances.

But only if you have been jointly domiciled for at least six months. So if you're currently living apart, that's a no-go.

I do like the fact that he can travel with this visa, as if something goes horribly wrong back home, he can just go at a moment's notice & not have to worry about getting AP.

Yep, that's definitely the beauty of the CR-1.

No one can tell you what you should ultimately do, and you obviously have a lot of factors to take under consideration. If you filed for a K-1 now, you could probably expect to have everything wrapped up by late summer. That would give your sweetie until, say, January or February 2007 to come to the States. And that's at the outside. Going through London is generally not too painfully slow, assuming you have an ordinary case and you stay on top of everything. It would also give you enough time to build up some money in the bank and have a more solid income history, since you don't need to provide the Affidavit of Support until the interview itself.

Again, no one can tell you what to do, but you might want to consider that, since a spousal visa will not (in your case) help your financial cause, a K-1 will be quicker and cheaper. Best of luck with whatever you choose.

[Fandango 1,439]

Pax, wow, you really cleared a lot of things up for me! Thank you so much!

Unfortunately, I am self-employed so that totally sucks. However, I feel a little better knowing I don't need an AoS until the interview. I'm wondering if I can show my quarterly tax payments for this upcoming year? I do know that you need to make min of $16,000 a year (a lawyer told me this, so I'm hoping it's true)...and that won't be a problem if I can show a partial year's money & not have to wait until I get my 1099 next year.

As far as getting a co-sponsor...my fiance's a proud man as well & absolutely does not want to involve my family. He is very independant, and even the idea of me having to show an AoS is upsetting to him...*sigh*...but I think he'd rather poke his eyes out with a hot stick than ask my father & mother for help...even if it's just on paper.

I'm wondering if he could transfer money to my bank account, if that would help with the Aos? Or would that set off red flags to the IRS, hahaha.

But the CR-1 was most attractive to me cos of the joint finances...and now that that's proven to be an impossible option, that kinda blows that out of the water.

Pax, you are a lifesaver..thank you so much for your help.

[pax 0]

One thing I forgot to tell you, too...if your fiance does have significant cash assets, or assets that are easily convertible to cash, he can also offer this evidence at his interview in London. Not many consulates seem to allow this, but there are several VJers who have taken this "self-sponsorship" tack for K visas when they are able to document cash holdings of maybe £4000. Granted, not everyone has four thousand quid lying around, but it's an option!

Try searching the OLD forums for "self-sponsorship London." You should find some threads about it. Don't expect your fiance's assets to be able to replace an I-134 and supporting evidence from you, but they can supplement your information.

And as for quarterly tax receipts substituting for a tax return, I can't see why that wouldn't be accepted, but you might want to ask around to be certain. There are a lot of USCs who are self-employed and sponsored through London. Maybe try British Expats, too.

www.britishexpats.com

Edited February 1, 2006 by pax

[Fandango 1,439]

One thing I forgot to tell you, too...if your fiance does have significant cash assets, or assets that are easily convertible to cash, he can also offer this evidence at his interview in London. Not many consulates seem to allow this, but there are several VJers who have taken this "self-sponsorship" tack for K visas when they are able to document cash holdings of maybe £4000. Granted, not everyone has four thousand quid lying around, but it's an option!

Try searching the OLD forums for "self-sponsorship London." You should find some threads about it. Don't expect your fiance's assets to be able to replace an I-134 and supporting evidence from you, but they can supplement your information.

And as for quarterly tax receipts substituting for a tax return, I can't see why that wouldn't be accepted, but you might want to ask around to be certain. There are a lot of USCs who are self-employed and sponsored through London. Maybe try British Expats, too.

www.britishexpats.com

You have seriously made me so happy today...thank you for giving me all this wonderful information!

Now when I think of this whole process, I'm not getting that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach anymore. I feel at least happy knowing which direction we need to pursue now...it's going to be so much less confusing.

Edited February 1, 2006 by LisaD

[almaty 19]

Pax , you are too cool for school..

[SOlcayto 0]

If he puts money in her account, couldn't it look like he paid her to marry him? I know at the interview, they asked my husband if he gave me any money and that's what they were getting at. They wanted to see if he paid me to marry him. Retarded, but it does happen.

SOL

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

If he puts money in her account, couldn't it look like he paid her to marry him? I know at the interview, they asked my husband if he gave me any money and that's what they were getting at. They wanted to see if he paid me to marry him. Retarded, but it does happen.

SOL

That's actually the custom in Thailand. You give money to her parents to compensate them for raising her.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

That's actually the custom in Thailand. You give money to her parents to compensate them for raising her.

What's the take for raising a daughter? If it's somewhat decent, maybe India could adopt such scheme to help fight the alleged targeted abortion of female fetuses?

[j&js 0]

That's actually the custom in Thailand. You give money to her parents to compensate them for raising her.

What's the take for raising a daughter? If it's somewhat decent, maybe India could adopt such scheme to help fight the alleged targeted abortion of female fetuses?

Yes, and then instead of aborting the female fetuses, they could sell grown women as if they are property...

Not implying thats the way it is in Thailand, but feel like if you brought in a system like that to a place where its not customary, it would become all about the money

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

That's actually the custom in Thailand. You give money to her parents to compensate them for raising her.

What's the take for raising a daughter? If it's somewhat decent, maybe India could adopt such scheme to help fight the alleged targeted abortion of female fetuses?

Yes, and then instead of aborting the female fetuses, they could sell grown women as if they are property...

Not implying thats the way it is in Thailand, but feel like if you brought in a system like that to a place where its not customary, it would become all about the money

Well, I never said it would be a fix for all the ills. Just for one apparent issue that had been discussed here recently. Besides, women are married off in arranged marriages as it is. And I think that parents are more likely to marry them off to the one with the dough...

But now really:

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I know you have to have the I 134 Affidavit (like you said) for London...are you SURE you don't have to have tax returns to back that up? I know we brought them but not sur eon the actually NEEDED or not front anymore(I don't remember...) but I thought you had to prove with one year at least? (not trying to be a party pooper!!! just tryin to make sure! ) Also..you are referring to the affidavit of support Lis...that IS what the I 134 is...I'm assuming you know that tho..it's just not quite as stringent as the I 864 affidavit that's used for Adjustment of Status later. I've never heard of them accepting quarterly wages either..maybe that's just another thing I don't know..but I've never heard of it. I think they are going to NEED and REQUIRE that you can prove one years income over and above the limit...either by you or with a cosponsor..even if you don't want to. Sorry to be a downer, and I hope it all works out well for you...wishing you all the best!!!! Michelle

PS..maybe if your fiance can help or self sponsor as was already suggested that would work for you...

Edited February 2, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[pax 0]

You definitely do not need to submit tax returns with the I-134 in London unless you are self-employed. I didn't. You *can* submit them, but since I didn't have a full tax year with full-time employment under my belt, I went with the I-134 + bank letter + employment letter. Ewen said they didn't even look at the supporting evidence, FWIW (though I know that they do often look).

Now, in this case the OP *is* self-employed. I wouldn't necessarily say the same thing to someone applying through Lagos or Manila. But London COs *tend* to not dissect the financial evidence provided. It seems to me that if she doesn't have a full year of tax payment behind her... 1.) She has a good reason for that, having lived in the UK and not making money for several years; and 2.) She obviously has a well-paying job now. Again, were this a more stringent consulate we were dealing with, I would tell her to line up a co-sponsor, no doubt, no matter what a wound to the pride it might be. But in this one, particular, singular London case, *I* *personally* *think* (note emphases ) the OP will be okay. I could be wrong. But probably other Londoners will tell her what I did.

[Fandango 1,439]

Well, I just am happy right now because we at least have some direction of what visa to pursue...

I'm going to look into self-sponsorship, and by the time the appt rolls around, hopefully I've had a good year workwise. I'm right now working one one deal alone that could almost meet the year's requirements...and if that flies, well not only will I be running down the street nekkid doing cartweels, the year will be quite a good one.

We've decided not to file anything until April. That'll give me enough time to get some cash into my acct...hopefully enough so that tax returns aren't a problem if there's such a substantial amt of money in the bank. We've also decided that January 2007 or so will be a good time to get married...and maybe if the tax return thing is an issue, I'll request one from my company 1st of Jan so that there will be something there in the case if it's reqd,

We're also waiting until April because hopefully he'll be able to take off work & come over for a visit. One of my customers today gave me the name of a supposedly 'very good' immigration atty, so I'd like D here to go for a consult together. Hopefully, this lawyer will be able to give us some more answers about this whole tax return issue

Thank you all for posting...it is so appreciated that you've taken the time to educate me & I really appreciate any and all comments (even if it's not what I want to hear!!!)

You guys rock!

[Fandango 1,439]

It's wierd...I wanted to edit my post, but the button's gone...

I'm wondering if I could have my broker draft a letter stating how much I earned. Not saying I make a steady wage, but if I could get something on letterhead saying my license is indeed hung there, and I've made x amt and I've been there since 2005, that might suffice!

Oh, and Sol...I think you are right, it might look dodgy with the bank transfers. Now I don't know what to do! As far as validating our relationship, I have loads and loads of stuff for that dating back to 2000, so I'm not concerned with having to prove it's legitimate...I'll just tell them about our fights, lol...if that don't mean we're real, I dunno what would...heh.

Plus, I have phone bills that would curl their hair! You all know what I mean...we work to support the phone companies