No kids please, we're selfish

[Alex+R 0]

Having more kids than you can care for--not necessarily just financially but also emotionally--is to me very selfish.

[SteveLaura 0]

After the child is born, obviously there is a level of selflessness that occurs, if you're parenting right, at least. You wouldn't choose to get up several times a night otherwise. But for those that choose to try for a baby, isn't that selfishness? If my wife and I decide to have a kid, which is the plan, that's for us. Not for my family, the country, the world at large. For us.

[Sinergy 3]

I love my kids. They are the greatest joy of my life, oh and food

I have alot of respect for anyone who wants to wait until they are READY for kids.

I wish i had done that, but had the same kids when i was ready

My daughter is 11 and my son is 2, im still trying to cope with having a baby after raising one for 11 years already. I wont do it again tho, i feel too old

[KarenCee 3]

What I find to be a hard question in life is why some people who do not even want to have a baby end up pregnant while some couples try desperately for years to have a baby and still it won't happen for them. It's one of those crazy things in life. But I do believe that the child is born for a reason, even if it wasn't planned. Even if I can't understand why that sort of thing happens, I'm sure there is a reason for it all. But I think couples who have tried for years and years for a baby truly know about how special and miraculous and wonderful having a baby is and it's not something to take for granted.

The forming of a baby is such a miracle that I think it's the most amazing thing in the world. It has to be the most amazing thing to be formed or else we wouldn't all be here. I love babies.

When I was reeling from the death and burial of my twin sons several years ago, after trying for soooo dam long to have a baby all there was on the news stations like CNN were reports of young girls having babies and killing them. And here I sat...desperately wanting my boys and knowing I can't have them because they were dead...not at my hands either. Doesn't make sense to me either. *sigh*

I haven't read all of this topic, so this point may already have been raised, but is it possible that choosing to have children is also selfish?

HOW?????

After the child is born, obviously there is a level of selflessness that occurs, if you're parenting right, at least. You wouldn't choose to get up several times a night otherwise. But for those that choose to try for a baby, isn't that selfishness? If my wife and I decide to have a kid, which is the plan, that's for us. Not for my family, the country, the world at large. For us.

Still...I don't understand the logic in choosing to have children as possibly being selfish.

[mawilson 2,133]

Still...I don't understand the logic in choosing to have children as possibly being selfish.

Children = your social security (in a way.)

[KarenCee 3]

Still...I don't understand the logic in choosing to have children as possibly being selfish.

Children = your social security (in a way.)

ROFLMAO. Hardly Mark. I'm not expecting my daughter to take care of us in our old age...nor do I expect her to support us in any way financial. If she chooses to take care of us when we get old and decrepit then fine...but it's surely not going to be expected.

[SteveLaura 0]

I'm suggesting it can be argued that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish. For reasons that I already stated.

[KarenCee 3]

I'm suggesting it can be argued that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish. For reasons that I already stated.

ooooooookay.

[SteveLaura 0]

I'm suggesting it can be argued that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish. For reasons that I already stated.

ooooooookay.

I get the impression you disagree.

If this woman is being 'selfish' because of a choice she makes, what makes my choice to have a kid different? Like I said, the choice, I believe, is the selfish act. Selflessness happens afterwards, perhaps. I'm choosing to have a child 'jus' cos' i wan' one!'

[Marilyn. 340]

if wanting a child makes me selfish than so be it... I am selfish!!

[Yaads 0]

Having more kids than you can care for--not necessarily just financially but also emotionally--is to me very selfish.

Exactly

They are only thinking of themselves and what they want...not how life would be for the child.

Edited June 8, 2007 by Jme3584

[LaL 418]

I'm suggesting it can be argued that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish. For reasons that I already stated.

then again there are very cool scientists who suggest that it's our genes that are selfish not the person.

[SteveLaura 0]

I'm suggesting it can be argued that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish. For reasons that I already stated.

then again there are very cool scientists who suggest that it's our genes that are selfish not the person.

OK, I'll accept that, provided they are way cool scientists. Those geeky ones, tho, I don't give 'em much credence.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

After the child is born, obviously there is a level of selflessness that occurs, if you're parenting right, at least. You wouldn't choose to get up several times a night otherwise. But for those that choose to try for a baby, isn't that selfishness? If my wife and I decide to have a kid, which is the plan, that's for us. Not for my family, the country, the world at large. For us.

Interesting point. Perhaps the decision to have a child when it is fully fathomed wouldn't be a selfish motivation, knowing what's in store and all the responsibilities that come with it?

[PlatyPius 5]

Still...I don't understand the logic in choosing to have children as possibly being selfish.

Children = your social security (in a way.)

ROFLMAO. Hardly Mark. I'm not expecting my daughter to take care of us in our old age...nor do I expect her to support us in any way financial. If she chooses to take care of us when we get old and decrepit then fine...but it's surely not going to be expected.

You don't have a choice, really. Your daughter WILL be paying to take care of you. Everybody in the US pays social security, and most people collect it when they retire. Ergo, your daughter will be "your social security".