im so depressed

[tiki 0]

hi to everyone. i came here in america trough K1 visa and been here for almost 6 months now.i just did filed my AOS and will have my biometrics next week.right now i am in the point of my life that i am so down and deprresed. my story goes like this and i hope someone could give me advise on what to do. me and my husband just found out recently that i am pregnant and the news is a big shocking to us. we didnt planned this at all. before, we talked that we will have a baby when we are stable enough but then we were so irresponsible that we didnt make any precautions. i havent sleep for 4 days now,thinking and worrying. my husband is acting different now, he said that everything goes so fast like we married too early that even though we've been talking in the internet for more than a year he just realized that that time is not enough for us to know each other and now i got pregnant so fast.i am so shocked also that i am pregnant but theres nothing i can do anymore cos the baby is already here and i am happy cos i am blessed with a little angel that came from a man that i really love so much.it seems that my husband wanted a space and i feel like he wants to send me back in the philippines but he saying that he loves me and he is so stress out to see me like this bieng depressed and stress out too. i couldnt sleep and eat at all and i am so worried to our baby. and now i am thinking if im gonna go back in the philippines without my greencard yet then i cannot go back here anymore and also i want to born my baby here with my husband beside me and i want him to grow with a mommy and a daddy togther. i really love my husband,i am so afraid to lose him. we were so happy before and no worries till we founf out that i am pregnant. i am so hurt that he is changing his feelings because i am pregnant. i feel like he is so afraid of me as her responsibilities and now another baby that will become a big responsibility to him. i know having a baby here is very hard especially u cant just leave ur baby to someone unlike in the philippines u can just leave the baby in ur family or yaya so that u could able to work.im really confuse on what to do? he said that he loves me but at the same time he is changing also? i thought having a baby will make us more stronger and closer but i was wrong it makes us more apart.with my members here..i really need ur help on what i am going to do. i am so much in pain now...thank u in advance.

[JODO 2]

hi to everyone. i came here in america trough K1 visa and been here for almost 6 months now.i just did filed my AOS and will have my biometrics next week.right now i am in the point of my life that i am so down and deprresed. my story goes like this and i hope someone could give me advise on what to do. me and my husband just found out recently that i am pregnant and the news is a big shocking to us. we didnt planned this at all. before, we talked that we will have a baby when we are stable enough but then we were so irresponsible that we didnt make any precautions. i havent sleep for 4 days now,thinking and worrying. my husband is acting different now, he said that everything goes so fast like we married too early that even though we've been talking in the internet for more than a year he just realized that that time is not enough for us to know each other and now i got pregnant so fast.i am so shocked also that i am pregnant but theres nothing i can do anymore cos the baby is already here and i am happy cos i am blessed with a little angel that came from a man that i really love so much.it seems that my husband wanted a space and i feel like he wants to send me back in the philippines but he saying that he loves me and he is so stress out to see me like this bieng depressed and stress out too. i couldnt sleep and eat at all and i am so worried to our baby. and now i am thinking if im gonna go back in the philippines without my greencard yet then i cannot go back here anymore and also i want to born my baby here with my husband beside me and i want him to grow with a mommy and a daddy togther. i really love my husband,i am so afraid to lose him. we were so happy before and no worries till we founf out that i am pregnant. i am so hurt that he is changing his feelings because i am pregnant. i feel like he is so afraid of me as her responsibilities and now another baby that will become a big responsibility to him. i know having a baby here is very hard especially u cant just leave ur baby to someone unlike in the philippines u can just leave the baby in ur family or yaya so that u could able to work.im really confuse on what to do? he said that he loves me but at the same time he is changing also? i thought having a baby will make us more stronger and closer but i was wrong it makes us more apart.with my members here..i really need ur help on what i am going to do. i am so much in pain now...thank u in advance.

This is so sad. Somebody help her.

[Sinergy 3]

First of all, having a baby doesnt make a marriage stronger and closer, the 2 ppl involved are supossed to do that.

secondly, if he has changed bc your pregnant and you feel he is taking on too much responsibility with you and now a soon baby, then he shouldnt have married

My advice, talk to him, tell HIM how your feeling, ask him how he is feeling and how he wants to handle everything. If you both love eachother as much as you did when you came here 6 months ago, then you wont have any worries.

If hes upset over you being pregnant, introduce him to condoms.

A baby is a joy that comes from 2 ppl who love eachother, it shouldnt be how you explained.

I wish you luck, i really really do

Edited June 7, 2007 by Ionescu

[Alex+R 0]

How pregnant (how many months along) are you?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Is he alot older than you? he may have wanted the fun and not the responsibility...babies dont usually wait to come when a couple are ready if they did no one would ever have one. Babies are a gift to enjoy maybe after the shock is over and you can talk he will change. I think this will allow yourself to see the true him i truly hope he is who you thought he was going to be. Good luck...also does he already have children he is responsible for payment on? My personal thought no man comes before my kids...

[Nessa 23]

what does it matter how many months she is?

[tiki 0]

i thought i am 9 weeks pregnant but when i went to my OB and had my sonogram im just 6 weeks pregant. me and my husband are still young im 23 and he is turning 27 this month and no he has no children yet.its his first time to have a baby. what should i do? should i just give up on him but i really love him as much i love myself and our baby. im so afraid to lose him cos i love him and especially now that we both are gonna have a baby soon.;

[Reynaldo 0]

what does it matter how many months she is?

It matters if you are going to get an abortion.

[Alex+R 0]

what does it matter how many months she is?

Because I couldn't understand from the post if she just found out or the baby was already born or if she were about to give birth.

what does it matter how many months she is?

It matters if you are going to get an abortion.

I think that's what Nessa was implying that I was asking, but I wasn't.

[Sinergy 3]

I dont really think an abortion is an option here. Shes expressed how much she loves him and how she does seem to want this baby. And no one wants to get an abortion with the man they love.

[doodlebug 3]

If he just found out give him time. We all have the fairytale vision of the hubby hugging the wifey after finding out the strip turned pink but life is not always a fairytale. He probably just needs time to adjust. Think about it, you just recently got here right? That's an adjustment in and of itself. Couple that with being a newlywed and you've got two of life's biggest stressors that you're dealing with. Add a baby to the mix and it's the trifecta. I think he's acting pretty normal given the circumstances.

If, however, after about a month he does not come around, I'd be thinking seriously about counseling. Can't hurt even if he doesn't come around since you have a LOT on your plate right now. Good luck!

[S & J 0]

First of all you need to cut your husband a bit of slack. He loves you, but you have given him a bit of a shock. When my brother got married he had a whole five year plan and then his wife got pregnant after 6 months of marriage. When a man has a plan and it doesn't go that way it is a surprise and they have to process it. Your husband loves you and you love him. You will get through it. Don't even think about him sending you back - he has committed to you through marriage...it is just marriage isn't always easy - it takes work. I think he is probably just disappointed that life is not happening the way he thought it would and you are wrongly thinking that he is disappointed in you.

My advice would be to love your husband. Do not bring up the subject about him sending you back, etc. Believe in him and his love. If he brings it up, then definitely talk about it, but (in general) men are different that way. He might need time just to think.

From one woman to the other, I understand why you would be feeling this way. It must be very hard for you to have to go through the cultural change, etc and be pregnant. Life must feel very insecure - just know that your emotions are real, but so is the fact that your husband loves you and is committed to you.

[Nessa 23]

I think that's what Nessa was implying that I was asking, but I wasn't.

I thought you were talking about having an abortion, yes.

Maybe he's too young and he's scared. If it was me, I'd try to work on my marriage. I don't think a child should grow up only with 1 parent, unless there is no alternative. Maybe he'll change his mind about everything. Talk about it with him and give him time to get used to the idea. If the worst happen and he really wants you to move back to your country and to raise the child alone, then you should do it, not because he wants it, but because he doesn't deserve you and your baby and you'll probably be better off without him in your life, cuz men like that are cowards.

[Alex+R 0]

I dont really think an abortion is an option here. Shes expressed how much she loves him and how she does seem to want this baby. And no one wants to get an abortion with the man they love.

Of course, that's why I didn't mean to insinuate it. It's clearly not an option for her.

*PS: I would absolutely get an abortion with the man I love, if I were to find myself pregnant. No question.

I think that's what Nessa was implying that I was asking, but I wasn't.

I thought you were talking about having an abortion, yes.

Maybe he's too young and he's scared. If it was me, I'd try to work on my marriage. I don't think a child should grow up only with 1 parent, unless there is no alternative. Maybe he'll change his mind about everything. Talk about it with him and give him time to get used to the idea. If the worst happen and he really wants you to move back to your country and to raise the child alone, then you should do it, not because he wants it, but because he doesn't deserve you and your baby and you'll probably be better off without him in your life, cuz men like that are cowards.

good advice

[Nessa 23]

*PS: I would absolutely get an abortion with the man I love, if I were to find myself pregnant. No question.

you never know eh? Lots of wackos in the world