Everything is terrible and I am desperate for help

[cyclone27 710]

Evidence - sure the local police or DEA might be interested in the drug dealing aspect.

Edited November 6, 2019 by cyclone27

[Sandra G. 5,047]

8 hours ago, Lotts said:

Hello.

 

Okay, so, a few updates. 

I've had to install a sleep talk app to I could record all the things that have been going on; the abuse, stuff behind my back etc..

 

So, I found out that he has been continuing to contact and arrange to meet some girl he was (trying to be) secretly in and out of bed with since I've been here, even though he swore blind he wasn't.

 

After all the being so skint and living on hot pockets and cheap noodles... Spent the money his mum gave us for my AoS TWICE, tells everyone that he can't get my green card etc., because bills, food etc., I found out today that since march 19th, he's spend around $1500 illegally obtaining Adderall, "powder" and crystal meth. All behind my back, sneaking out at weekends, staying behind after work, making me walk around a Walmart in an area I wasnt comfortable with whilst he "fixed his steering wheel"... But picked up drugs. Taking them, selling them to his cousins etc.

 

I have everything on audio. I took photos of the texts between him and this woman selling him her prescription and asking for money in general. The deals are going on in his place of work!!! A Christian mechanic auto shop!!!!

Yet, I cannot get some conditioner. 😒 Some decent food or nutritional drinks.

All I got from the confrontation was a shrug, "sure", "what ever you think", "what ever you say".

 

My new passport is currently being mailed back to me. I've told him I want out, I want this divorce badly and I'm going to speak to his mother because she needs to know. She things I'm the bad person. So, as usual, I've been threatened with the repercussions, I'll be on the street, ICE, etc and I should not say anything... Gave me the whole I'm a bad wife, if I was a wife he wouldn't have to do these things etc.. all that BS. Classic him turn around move.

I'm absolutely fuming. He's done NOTHING but lie to me and mugged everyone else off.

 

I cannot wait to get my passport. I'm out of here. I've married a pathological liar, a cheater, a dealer, a deadbeat, an abusive a-hole. I am SO mad at myself. So, so mad. 

I just need to sort out Ed, I've basically packed all my stuff apart from clothes I've been wearing... I need to go home back to a place of love, support, positivity, and kindness. Not this prison cell of a basement with this controlling sociopath. 

 

So, a couple of questions, where does all of this stand with VAWA/WAVA(?) 

 

What would you do with all of this evidence? The audio, photos of texts etc..

 

Does anyone know where I can find a money tree so I can get out of here 😆

 

Thank you for letting me rant. I appreciate you all.

You mentioned here  that he is a drug user and a cheater, well these two things are not considered abuse by the USCIS. USCIS is very clear that allegations of drug use ,alcohol,cheating,sexuality WILL NOT be considered ground  for VAWA.

 

To prove psychological abuse you need to prove a pattern of CONTROL (checking your emails,phone,Facebook,controlling who called you and who you called,calling you all day to check your whereabouts; and/or ISOLATION (prohibiting you to talk or to see your family and friends ); and/or HUMILIATION (making remarks about your appearance , clothes, accent etc); COERCION( telling if you don’t follow What he is asking you then he will hurt you or hurt some of your family);DEGRADATION (calling you names ,humiliating you in public,making fun of your religion etc)and you need to prove that you are suffering depression  and /or PTSD due to the abuse suffered,if you are depressed because your husband uses drug or is cheating on you Uscis won’t take this  into consideration,then forget about mentioning these things to immigration.

 

.USCIS does not accept recorded material and most States consider illegal to record someone without the person consent, plus his confession might be about cheating and drugs and as I mentioned before these things won’t get your Vawa approved .

 

You have a disfuncional and unpleasant marriage for sure.I am not saying you are not being abused but considering what you are posting here I don’t see circumstances of abuse.I saw just one circumstance of abuse (you are just  eating noodles), will Uscis approve  your Vawa because of this?NO,noodles won’t get your Vawa approved.

Edited November 6, 2019 by sandranj

[Boiler 45,486]

I thought the plan is to go home.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

To reiterate: if the plan is to go back to the UK then VAWA is irrelevant anyway.

[Lotts 1,433]

Well, I came to rant after everything I uncovered. In the middle of red hot anger looking for some clearance.

 

So, with my situation then, how the hell am I supposed to show what's going on? I have people I live with that have seen what's going on. 

I have friends and their kids here I want to come back and see. People have said about filing for VAWA so I can have the bar waved. I don't want that monster shutting down any more of my life and preventing me from my full freedom.

 

Oooh, just got an email to say my new passport will be with me by Friday. Woot.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Glad to hear passport will be with you soon. Are you able to collect /do you now have the resources to get back home?

That is priority. Once you are safe back you may want to pass evidence of illegal dealings on to the authorities. 

(I’m not an expert on VAWA but I thought it only applied if you wanted a green card, not as a general bar waiver. I do wonder if you can apply for a waiver of inadmissibility to visit based on the circumstances though. I’m sure others will comment on that.)

[Boiler 45,486]

Vawa would be because you want to get a GC and stay. Not visit.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Its not that theres a wavier for VAWA, there is no VAWA waiver; instead its the policy that says overstay and other issues are NOT considered under inadmissibility issues. So no waiver because its not considered. As I posted before the policy does have wording suggesting that it applies for all visa types- basically if the overstay was due to abuse it wont be considered but again as posted I do not know of any examples where anyone was actually able to get that to apply for a B or ESTA or even employment visa. 

 

The only way to know for sure if you qualify for VAWA is to speak to a VAWA attny (easier to do in the US but Im sure you could consult with one over the phone from the UK). If possible try to see one here before you leave to discuss with them everything that happened and to see if you are eligible. If you are looking for user opinions here- the best one is from Sandra as she is a VAWA attny. So you would have to post additional details of your story because from what you posted already you dont have much to qualify. Some people are not comfortable posting intimate and embarrassing stuff like that- or they focus on stuff that feels important like cheating and drugs, where none of that is applicable. Speaking with an attny is really the best thing to do as they will personally  review things with you and evaluate how the VAWA guidelines apply to see if you qualify. Free consults are usually available for VAWA. Its just a matter of finding one. If you do qualify and choose to move forward a VAWA case can cost you 3-10k in fees with an attny or can be done yourself with out one from in the US or overseas. Pro-bono help may be available if you are still in the US but Im not sure if youd find anyone to do it pro-bono when you are overseas. 

[Sandra G. 5,047]

56 minutes ago, Lotts said:

Well, I came to rant after everything I uncovered. In the middle of red hot anger looking for some clearance.

 

So, with my situation then, how the hell am I supposed to show what's going on? I have people I live with that have seen what's going on. 

I have friends and their kids here I want to come back and see. People have said about filing for VAWA so I can have the bar waved. I don't want that monster shutting down any more of my life and preventing me from my full freedom.

 

Oooh, just got an email to say my new passport will be with me by Friday. Woot.

The bar is waived just for VAWA petitioners, that being said  you have to file Vawa, once your VAWA and green card are approved  then the bar is lifted, 

 

Vawa was enacted  to protect victims of abuse and not to lift the 3-10 years bar .

Edited November 6, 2019 by sandranj

[Lotts 1,433]

Okay, I have a lot of investigation work to do. Think about options etc..

Thanks everyone.

 

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

On 11/6/2019 at 11:04 AM, sandranj said:

.USCIS does not accept recorded material

I understand this is a very easily-understood statement, but what ???  Can someone explain why they wouldn't and  how we know USCIS doesn't accept recorded material ?

[TBoneTX 45,284]

2 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

explain why they wouldn't

Viruses, for example.

2 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

how we know USCIS doesn't accept recorded material

Their long-standing, very sensible policy.

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

11 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Viruses, for example.

Their long-standing, very sensible policy.

I don't mean to be a pain, but is this about providing evidence for benefit applications and petitions when they receive so many for prcoessing, which I can understand.

 

Does it apply, for example, when FDNS is investigating a case and you have video or audio evidence ?

[geowrian 22,337]

27 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

I don't mean to be a pain, but is this about providing evidence for benefit applications and petitions when they receive so many for prcoessing, which I can understand.

 

Does it apply, for example, when FDNS is investigating a case and you have video or audio evidence ?

They will not accept any electronic devices, per policy. Anything submitted must be in document form (i.e. printouts).

[Lotts 1,433]

See, I'm really annoyed here. Some abusers are pretty smart and they don't leave a paper trail. 

Everything that happens to me is verbal. He never messages me anymore, his phone is on lockdown, and if there are any messages or anything, he deletes them.

 

I have 45mins of 'sleep talk' audio of him blaming me for him having to purchase these drugs illegally and other crappy things he's said. He's smart and won't put anything in writing as he knows that will get shown to someone and bite him in the derriere.

 

This thread has left me more confused than when I started. ☹️

Edited November 8, 2019 by Lotts