Hunting for a Rich Husband

[Jenn! 918]

June 6, 2007, 7:04PM

CAN YOU DIG IT?

Going for the gold

You have to use the right bait if you want to land a rich fish - er, husband

By EILEEN McCLELLAND

Copyright 2007 Houston Chronicle

Hunting for a rich husband?

Think camouflage, but not the woodsy kind - unless, of course, you're at a rattlesnake roundup, prime husband-hunting grounds in Texas.

In an urban milieu, you've got to look prosperous enough to blend in with your prey's elite social circle. For example, drive a leased Lexus only if you can't borrow a Mercedes.

J.C. Conklin, author of a snarky new novel about Texas women and their pursuit of a rich husband, advises that even spiritual matters matter. Choose a popular Texas religion, Methodist or Baptist.

And don't hesitate to resort to plastic surgery. At the very least, bleach.

"You should have long hair and if you can, be blond, be blond,'' says Conklin, author of The Dallas Women's Guide to Gold-Digging With Pride (Ballantine, $22.95). "Every man I've ever talked to has never described a woman who's blond as mousy.''

In the satirical novel, ex-New Yorker Jenny Barton, 29, works for a frumpy female boss-from-hell at the Wall Street Journal's Dallas bureau. Recovering from a recent split from slacker journalist Rafe and under the influence of her blond, husband-hunting roommate, Aimee, Jenny attempts to lure a rich Texan or two.

There are certain parallels to the author's life. During Conklin's four years in Dallas, as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal and then the Dallas Morning News, she was surprised to meet women in their 20s stalking wealthy men in their spare time. Women who wear stilettos to shop at Whole Foods. Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns. Who order room service for their traveling boyfriends to make sure they're spending the night where they say they are.

Born in Houston, Conklin grew up in upstate New York and graduated from the University of Washington in Seattle with a degree in comparative religion. Landing in Dallas was a culture shock.

The women she met weren't hunting for just any husband, but the super-rich variety. To that end, they underwent plastic surgery, starved themselves, bought clothes they couldn't afford and even popped pain killers so they could sleep with guys they found revolting. (Sexy and rich is not that common a combination, Conklin's characters lament.)

"Some of it's exaggerated but a lot of it is what people told me," said Conklin, now 29 and living in Austin. "There is a high premium on looks. I don't think that's exaggerated. There is a high premium on tracking the men. There has been breaking and entering, or breaking into e-mail at the very least."

And when they weren't snooping, they were grooming.

"You can't be too overt," Conklin said. "You can't have a short skirt and a lot of cleavage. You have to choose one or the other. You have to imagine what he would be thinking of you as a wife. Dress appropriately, not desperately. Heels are always good. Accentuate the assets that you have, not the style of the day, because men never know what's in. They only know what looks good on you."

Other strategies apply once you have set your sights on a particular target.

"Find out what he likes so you can pop those things into the conversation before he does. And learn to cook one really phenomenal dish so it looks like you're a good cook."

You can always hire a chef after the nuptials.

It helps if you're not too squeamish to engage in sports, or better yet, hunting. Wrangle an invitation to a rattlesnake roundup.

"Anytime you show no fear of blood or killing that adds to your ranking," Conklin said. And Texas guys reportedly love to play with rattlesnakes. "I saw a guy holding five rattlesnakes by the tail in his mouth. His left hand was all shriveled from the venom. It's a very macho, very Texas thing to do."

Conklin's Dallas friends had jobs, careers even, but didn't expect to work for very long. After the wedding, the marriage becomes a full-time job.

"What you have to do to keep the rich husbands is just amazing," she said. "All the exercising, all the devotion to this other person. It's not your life. It's the other person's life and you're just staffing it."

Still, there was something about their goal-oriented pursuit that started to change career-girl Conklin's thinking about the whole marriage thing.

"I didn't husband-hunt for a rich guy," she said, "but I was dating a lot of guys who were slacker-reporter guys, and being in Dallas made me realize that was a dead-end proposition. It made me look for guys who wanted the things that I wanted, like a family. In New York, you don't think about getting married until you're well into your 30s."

Some of the changes she made when she moved to Dallas made her more approachable, she said, more marriageable. In addition to becoming nicer and less competitive, she said, "I got a lot blonder.

"I started to work out a lot more. I never used to get my nails done, never used to get my eyebrows waxed, all the beauty maintenance. And when I was living in Dallas, I was wearing heels every day, skirts, suits, very dressed."

Today, she has an 11-month-old son and a daughter on the way. And yes, she is married, not to a millionaire but to a guy with a stable income and goals she shares.

"All my friends in New York are living the kind of life I led 10 years ago," she said. "I got married last year. That's a very Texas influence, I would say."

Dress for Success

Author J.C. Conklin offers the following tips for what to wear while husband-hunting.

Heels: At all costs.

Bra: The pushup is best.

Hair: Long and blond, if at all possible.

Thong: Always, and it should match the bra.

Accessories: Now is not the time for big jewelry or purses. Both scream high maintenance to men.

Makeup: Most men don't even realize you're wearing it. They think you naturally look that good. Now is not the time for them to find out otherwise.

Know your strengths: If you have good legs or arms, show them off.

But remember: Dress like the girlfriend, not the one-night stand.

Source

[Nessa 23]

blonde long hair? I thought us brunettes were hotter

[Alex+R 0]

Ugh, a good friend of mine who just moved back North from Texas tells me it's like that even in Austin. You wouldn't get me to move to Texas for love or money.

[almaty 19]

Ugh, a good friend of mine who just moved back North from Texas tells me it's like that even in Austin. You wouldn't get me to move to Texas for love or money.

same here sister..texas suxs

[mawilson 2,133]

Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns.

And if that fails, there's always MENA.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

besides are they really any rich man still out there? and i doubt they would be worth all this effort, the grass is usually NOT greener once you start being someone your not you have to continue this game....

[Alex+R 0]

Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns.

And if that fails, there's always MENA.

WHOA. Here comes the shitestorm....

[Jenn! 918]

Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns.

And if that fails, there's always MENA.

Oh so witty.

Searched that entire article to try to find something to rile me up with, didn't you? ;)

[mawilson 2,133]

Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns.

And if that fails, there's always MENA.

Oh so witty.

Searched that entire article to try to find something to rile me up with, didn't you? ;)

Yes Jenn. You are going to be on the receiving end of my tongue-lashings for a LONG time.

[Jenn! 918]

Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns.

And if that fails, there's always MENA.

Oh so witty.

Searched that entire article to try to find something to rile me up with, didn't you?

Yes Jenn. You are going to be on the receiving end of my tongue-lashings for a LONG time.

That's what you think.

[almaty 19]

[Nessa 23]

I was just waiting for this thread to become a popcorn thread

[mawilson 2,133]

That's what you think.

Oh yes, I forget that you have an "in" with the moderator crowd... fellow Meanie.

[Jenn! 918]

That's what you think.

Oh yes, I forget that you have an "in" with the moderator crowd... fellow Meanie.

Grow up.

[Mags 112]

OKay, hat time. Can we keep this thread on the topic of blondes, Vera Wang and size 4s please? What happened yesterday should stay there, let's not carry it over...ok?

Thanks!

Edited June 7, 2007 by mags