Does she have any legal recourse?

[Villanelle 4,122]

Re-Custody

 

Family courts in the US do not consider ones immigration status when making decisions. It is possible for someone who is 100% illegal with no path to legal residency to get custody or on the flip side have to pay child support. Immigration status is completely irrelevant in family court. 

 

With that said if the child is born in the US the first issue is going to be the names on the birth certificate. Because they are not legally married his name will not automatically go on the birth certificate. She will have to check with the hospital what the procedures are for adding his name. In most jurisdictions you can not simply add a mans name to the birth certificate with out his consent. I do not know if he would be willing to put his name on the birth certificate since he expressed not wanting the child. Plus to do so would require communication between them which is never recommended with abusive situations. Most likely she will end up leaving the fathers name blank either due to his non agreeing to sign it or her simply not involving him in the birth. She will then have to contact the local child support agency to find out what their process is for getting his name on the BC and obtaining a child support judgement. (most likely a DNA test will be done). With the child support judgement will come custody arrangements. Again the child support agency can advise her on what needs to be done and how to do it after the child is born- depending on if his name ends up on the BC or not. 

 

Its also worth noting that if the child is born in the US (and both parents are listed on BC) she will not be able to remove the child from the US with out custody orders saying she can do such. Unless he agrees she will never get permission from the court to remove the child from the US. So if she is considering leaving she would want to do so before the child is born. I understand this is not the plan but I just want you to have all the information.

 

Now regarding DV issues and custody.... unfortunately the court has a unique view on this. Courts feel a parental relationship is the most important thing for the child. People just assume that if one parent is abusive the court will remove them from the childs life. They DO NOT. Depending on the specifics of the situation they may not award full or partial custody to the abusive parent but they most likely will get visitation (can be supervised or unsupervised). Courts feel having a parental relationship is in the best interest of the child- even if the parent is a piece of trash. 

[mymarriagejourney 113]

16 minutes ago, Villanelle said:

Re-Custody

 

Family courts in the US do not consider ones immigration status when making decisions. It is possible for someone who is 100% illegal with no path to legal residency to get custody or on the flip side have to pay child support. Immigration status is completely irrelevant in family court. 

 

With that said if the child is born in the US the first issue is going to be the names on the birth certificate. Because they are not legally married his name will not automatically go on the birth certificate. She will have to check with the hospital what the procedures are for adding his name. In most jurisdictions you can not simply add a mans name to the birth certificate with out his consent. I do not know if he would be willing to put his name on the birth certificate since he expressed not wanting the child. Plus to do so would require communication between them which is never recommended with abusive situations. Most likely she will end up leaving the fathers name blank either due to his non agreeing to sign it or her simply not involving him in the birth. She will then have to contact the local child support agency to find out what their process is for getting his name on the BC and obtaining a child support judgement. (most likely a DNA test will be done). With the child support judgement will come custody arrangements. Again the child support agency can advise her on what needs to be done and how to do it after the child is born- depending on if his name ends up on the BC or not. 

 

Its also worth noting that if the child is born in the US (and both parents are listed on BC) she will not be able to remove the child from the US with out custody orders saying she can do such. Unless he agrees she will never get permission from the court to remove the child from the US. So if she is considering leaving she would want to do so before the child is born. I understand this is not the plan but I just want you to have all the information.

 

Now regarding DV issues and custody.... unfortunately the court has a unique view on this. Courts feel a parental relationship is the most important thing for the child. People just assume that if one parent is abusive the court will remove them from the childs life. They DO NOT. Depending on the specifics of the situation they may not award full or partial custody to the abusive parent but they most likely will get visitation (can be supervised or unsupervised). Courts feel having a parental relationship is in the best interest of the child- even if the parent is a piece of trash. 

Thank you!

 

All of you taking the time to write thoughtful and detailed responses has very literally made me cry this morning.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

22 hours ago, mymarriagejourney said:

Unfortunately, what you are saying isn't legally accurate.  I wish it was.  It's not.

As a trafficked alien she has a lot of recourse.  No extremist wife beater would win custody of a child.

 

But:  That isn’t enough.  The mother, the husband, the Imam who performed the “marriage” without a license, the witnesses who signed the “contract” should all be scooped up.  
Citizens prosecuted, rest of them sent back to the Islamic dumps they moved here from, the poor girl relocated far away from the whole lot.
I saw so much of this in saudi it made me sick to be there.
If we tolerate even one minute, one instance of this we are no better than they are.  

Edited October 11, 2019 by Nitas_man

[Nitas_man 3,100]

14 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

But if she doesn’t have means to support herself in either country, I completely understand why she would rather stay in the country where she wouldn’t be ostracised or treated like a social pariah. Besides, her sister is here, so she has someone at least.

 

I’ve read a few threads on here re single mother’s returning to their home countries, where the cultures aren’t accepting of single mothers...and sometimes think people underestimate just how horrible a situation it is. Being a victim of abuse and a newly single mother would make for an incredibly upsetting and emotionally-fraught time...to then add returning to a country where you are shunned, scorned, treated like less than a human being? That sounds like a recipe for a serious mental health breakdown.

 

As a side-note, I work in Internal Communications and have been working on a big campaign for Mental Health Awareness Day, which was yesterday. Part of this included talking to colleagues to record their personal stories re mental health - and several of these included post-natal depression - without the added burden of abuse from your spouse/being a single parent/having to move countries/abuse from family and friends.

 

So if I had to make the choice between starving in America or starving in a country where I’d be ostracised and abused, I’d pick America, every time.

Kudos

 

Girl’s from an Islamic country probably.  Worst thing that can happen to her.

Edited October 11, 2019 by Nitas_man

[mymarriagejourney 113]

I took her to the police station.  They were very kind, very thorough, took photos of her injuries.  They issued a warrant for his arrest, and they picked him up at 4am today.  He is in jail awaiting being brought before a judge on Monday.

 

When hearing of all of this, her mother booked a flight from her home country and arrived here late last night.  She now has lots of love and support surrounding her and I will continue to help as much as I can.

 

I have spoken with attorneys, hotlines, community advocates....I spent literally all of yesterday making calls and I now have a list of many organizations to utilize in the coming days and weeks. 

 

Thank you for all of the advice here.  It was via this forum that I was able to clear my head and find the first steps to take in this situation.

[designguy 1,179]

14 minutes ago, mymarriagejourney said:

I took her to the police station.  They were very kind, very thorough, took photos of her injuries.  They issued a warrant for his arrest, and they picked him up at 4am today.  He is in jail awaiting being brought before a judge on Monday.

 

When hearing of all of this, her mother booked a flight from her home country and arrived here late last night.  She now has lots of love and support surrounding her and I will continue to help as much as I can.

 

I have spoken with attorneys, hotlines, community advocates....I spent literally all of yesterday making calls and I now have a list of many organizations to utilize in the coming days and weeks. 

 

Thank you for all of the advice here.  It was via this forum that I was able to clear my head and find the first steps to take in this situation.

Wow she is lucky to have such a supportive friend. It looks like she is on track to get the support she needs, with a big thanks to you!

[mymarriagejourney 113]

1 hour ago, designguy said:

Wow she is lucky to have such a supportive friend. It looks like she is on track to get the support she needs, with a big thanks to you!

Thank you.  I'm of the firm belief that in this world, "it takes a village."