Thursday Here

[~Jess~ 0]

this is the internet, i will not let someones opinions of me and my life bother me. i know myself. my family knows me. you all however DO NOT. like i said before, you wont 'scare' me away, i am stronger then that, but i will be choosey about what i say because i know now that EVERYTHING gets ripped apart and only bits and pieces thrown at you during a fight.

[sarah and hicham 3]

this is the internet, i will not let someones opinions of me and my life bother me. i know myself. my family knows me. you all however DO NOT. like i said before, you wont 'scare' me away, i am stronger then that, but i will be choosey about what i say because i know now that EVERYTHING gets ripped apart and only bits and pieces thrown at you during a fight.

No one is trying to "scare" you. Why else would so many people say they think it's wrong unless it really seemed wrong? Maybe you should try taking what others say into consideration even if it's not what your heart wants to hear.

[LaL 418]

sarah, that thread was locked. there is no point to giving that subject mouth to mouth in this thread unless you're trying to get it locked too.

Agreed. Both of the threads being mentioned are locked, and for very good reason. If there is an issue, please take it to PM's. Let's move on gals! Thanks!

[~Jackie~ 30]

Happy Thursday

[~Jess~ 0]

because i know my life. i am living it. i dont have to argue my points about that. he is in a stable environment right now, where he is happy and understanding of what is going on around him. he is doing excellent in school. why would i pull him out of a stable environment to drag him all over the place right now when im not settled down? when we are settled it will be a totally different story. parents leave there children in divorce all the time. fathers do it and you dont see them bashed nearly as much as when a mother needs to make a life for her and her child. but like i said, defending myself here is useless, im not getting anywhere with it, nor is anyone else telling me how worthless i appear to be.

[sarah and hicham 3]

because i know my life. i am living it. i dont have to argue my points about that. he is in a stable environment right now, where he is happy and understanding of what is going on around him. he is doing excellent in school. why would i pull him out of a stable environment to drag him all over the place right now when im not settled down? when we are settled it will be a totally different story. parents leave there children in divorce all the time. fathers do it and you dont see them bashed nearly as much as when a mother needs to make a life for her and her child. but like i said, defending myself here is useless, im not getting anywhere with it, nor is anyone else telling me how worthless i appear to be.

Your reasoning is heinous.

Just because most of America is divorced doesn't make it ok for you to leave your child for a man. That doesn't make any sense.

Don't drag him out of school to go to Saudi Arabia- STAY HOME WITH HIM AND DON'T LEAVE HIM WITHOUT HIS MOTHER.

How do you know your son is ok? He's so young and I doubt that he has any understanding of why you are leaving him constantly. Like I said, you're convinving yourself that everything is ok so that you can leave your son with a clear conscience. Sad.

Edited June 8, 2007 by Captain Ewok
Please do not hijack another thread on this. Again take things to PM if you feel strongly and want to talk to another member on this. Thanks.

[doodlebug 3]

I know that certain people don't want this rehashed but seriously this is an issue that pertains to a LOT of women and men who have spouses in distant lands. Perhaps not as big of a deal for someone who's SO is in Canada or Mexico, or some other more commutable country but definitely for MENA.

Certainly a child should not be carted around from country to country but absolutely a responsibility lies with the parent to not leave in the first place. Why do people think there have been soooooo many heartbroken women on this board who miss their SO's so badly????? We chose not to go live with our loved ones because we have a first and foremost obligation to our children. There are VERY FEW cases where the father gets sole custody and that is for a reason, which is that 99% of the time it is in the best interest for the child to be with his/her mother up until a certain age. In some religions, Islam for example, it's actually written that if the parents get divorced the child should be with the mother up until a certain age.

I normally don't get into this stuff but these types of subject cut me in my gut. I do hope that someday, God willing, you can be a family again with your little boy but I cannot condone anyone leaving their child like that just to satisfy their own emotional/physical desires. You might think he's all stable now but trust me, these things rear their heads later on in life. Hopefully not in this case but I wouldn't want to gamble with my children's emotional well being just to satisfy my own needs.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I know that certain people don't want this rehashed but seriously this is an issue that pertains to a LOT of women and men who have spouses in distant lands. Perhaps not as big of a deal for someone who's SO is in Canada or Mexico, or some other more commutable country but definitely for MENA.

Certainly a child should not be carted around from country to country but absolutely a responsibility lies with the parent to not leave in the first place. Why do people think there have been soooooo many heartbroken women on this board who miss their SO's so badly????? We chose not to go live with our loved ones because we have a first and foremost obligation to our children. There are VERY FEW cases where the father gets sole custody and that is for a reason, which is that 99% of the time it is in the best interest for the child to be with his/her mother up until a certain age. In some religions, Islam for example, it's actually written that if the parents get divorced the child should be with the mother up until a certain age.

I normally don't get into this stuff but these types of subject cut me in my gut. I do hope that someday, God willing, you can be a family again with your little boy but I cannot condone anyone leaving their child like that just to satisfy their own emotional/physical desires. You might think he's all stable now but trust me, these things rear their heads later on in life. Hopefully not in this case but I wouldn't want to gamble with my children's emotional well being just to satisfy my own needs.

Uh oh, we agreed again!

Very well said, and I agree completely. It's nice to hear that insight from a mother.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Oh dear.

[Captain Ewok 1,895]

Sarah do not hijack other threads on this. PM the member if you want. You may disagree but you really have no right to tell anyone else how to live their life or what decisions to make. You may disagree with what they do and you can tell them -- but once they tell you to stop please do.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Sarah Do not hijack other threads on this. PM the member if you want. You may disagree but you really have no right to tell anyone else how to live their life or what decisions to make. Yuo may disagree with what they do and you can tell them -- but once they tell you to stop please do.

I am not the only one who has said something to Jess. Why can't it be discussed here? It's a major part of family immigration. I'm not telling anyone what to do, I am sharing my opinion on the matter, like doodle and others have done.

[Captain Ewok 1,895]

You hijacked another thread. If you want to talk to them talk via PM. If you want to talk in General on issues fine but using them as an example and lecturing another member on what you think are bad decisions is borderline harassing.

[sarah and hicham 3]

You hijacked another thread. If you want to talk to them talk via PM. If you want to talk in General on issues fine but using them as an example and lecturing another member on what you think are bad decisions is borderline harassing.

Then I will assume that this message applies to others who have "lectured" her as well. Thanks.

[LaL 418]

Sarah Do not hijack other threads on this. PM the member if you want. You may disagree but you really have no right to tell anyone else how to live their life or what decisions to make. Yuo may disagree with what they do and you can tell them -- but once they tell you to stop please do.

I am not the only one who has said something to Jess. Why can't it be discussed here? It's a major part of family immigration. I'm not telling anyone what to do, I am sharing my opinion on the matter, like doodle and others have done.

Well, it CAN be discussed here. Discussion isn't what happened in the other thread, and it is escalating here (no doubt due to the other thread). People can be inquisitive and maybe learn something from each other, but not by the way the other thread went.

sorry! I see Ewok already responded to your post.

Edited June 8, 2007 by lal_brandow

[Captain Ewok 1,895]

You hijacked another thread. If you want to talk to them talk via PM. If you want to talk in General on issues fine but using them as an example and lecturing another member on what you think are bad decisions is borderline harassing.

Then I will assume that this message applies to others who have "lectured" her as well. Thanks.

No one should harass other members despite how strongly you disagree. They have a right to make their family decisions and once they have asked not to be attacked for their decisions it is responsible to stop. I am sure that any parent would be quite offended for someone else to lecture them and tell them how to raise their kids.

Discussion is a healthy thing. Attacking and harassing is the thing that everyone needs to remember is bad and there is a difference.