Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do

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https://nypost.com/2019/09/25/women-are-struggling-to-find-men-who-make-as-much-money-as-they-do/?_ga=2.238572163.203496041.1569778338-1350108040.1568158385

 

“There are shortages of economically attractive men,” lead study author Daniel T. Lichter tells The Post. Although we like to think marriage is based on love, he says, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.

Lichter, who has been studying marriage for 30 years, says the gig economy and a “lack of good jobs” have contributed to the dearth of well-to-do dudes. So has the fact that women are outpacing men educationally, upending the age-old dominance of the male breadwinner over the past five to 10 years.

“Now it’s the case that more highly educated women are marrying down,” says Lichter. “Men have to get with the program.”

 

Not sure what getting with the program means.

[Dashinka 24,995]

So which narrative are we supposed to believe?

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it is confusing, seems to contradict the Gender Pay Gap?

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,394]

56 minutes ago, Boiler said:

it is confusing, seems to contradict the Gender Pay Gap?

When you are single in your 40s and 50s. Make decent money, dont live with momma, and use soap, the pickens are easy. So little competition.   Then you factor in secretary mom, with 2 child supports about to run out, it gets embarrassing easy .

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6 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

When you are single in your 40s and 50s. Make decent money, dont live with momma, and use soap, the pickens are easy. So little competition.   Then you factor in secretary mom, with 2 child supports about to run out, it gets embarrassing easy .

I have a feeling this was not about hook ups. Which is a different ball game, seems more about the ones who realise that even the hook ups are getting harder never mind something long term.

[laylalex 7,300]

My best friend at home is dealing with this right now. She's a family law attorney in LA (associate, not partner yet) and has been practicing for about six years. She makes quite a bit of money, but not an insane amount. She's doing internet dating right now and while she has been able to meet more than a few men who intellectually are her equal (which is very important to her, she doesn't want a himbo), she finds that the ones who don't make near or more than she does want to stick around because they find her pay intimidating -- they just aren't comfortable earning less than she does. She is fine with being the breadwinner and she doesn't have an issue with a guy's salary -- she's looking for a smart guy who is passionate about what he does, and has ambition to keep pursuing his passion. Her longest relationship was with a guy who was an adjunct professor or lecturer or something at a local university, and he made very, very little in comparison, even when she was first starting out in practice. They were both okay with the pay differential because he never saw it as emasculating, nor did she. They only broke up because he got a better deal on the other side of the country, and she didn't want to follow.

 

I just wish men wouldn't have such outdated ideas about who can hold the pursestrings to the bigger purse. It's really holding them back.

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19 minutes ago, laylalex said:

My best friend at home is dealing with this right now. She's a family law attorney in LA (associate, not partner yet) and has been practicing for about six years. She makes quite a bit of money, but not an insane amount. She's doing internet dating right now and while she has been able to meet more than a few men who intellectually are her equal (which is very important to her, she doesn't want a himbo), she finds that the ones who don't make near or more than she does want to stick around because they find her pay intimidating -- they just aren't comfortable earning less than she does. She is fine with being the breadwinner and she doesn't have an issue with a guy's salary -- she's looking for a smart guy who is passionate about what he does, and has ambition to keep pursuing his passion. Her longest relationship was with a guy who was an adjunct professor or lecturer or something at a local university, and he made very, very little in comparison, even when she was first starting out in practice. They were both okay with the pay differential because he never saw it as emasculating, nor did she. They only broke up because he got a better deal on the other side of the country, and she didn't want to follow.

 

I just wish men wouldn't have such outdated ideas about who can hold the pursestrings to the bigger purse. It's really holding them back.

I can speak for most men and certainly initially quite what her salary is would not be a factor, begs the question how it arises? Does she put it on her profile.

 

I have a feeling you are looking at it from a female perspective and reversing it.

[Steeleballz 7,550]

2 hours ago, Boiler said:

it is confusing, seems to contradict the Gender Pay Gap?

 

  How so? The gender pay gap asserts women are generally paid less for doing the same job as men. This research contends that women are making more than men, but it has nothing to do with them doing the same job. It is actually saying that more women are getting higher degrees/better education than men nowadays, and thus getting better jobs and earning more than men. The scenarios are not mutually exclusive.

[Ban Hammer 13,746]

31 minutes ago, laylalex said:

 

I just wish men wouldn't have such outdated ideas about who can hold the pursestrings to the bigger purse. It's really holding them back.

i'm all for women making more - then they can pay alimony.

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How can it, paying women doing the same job less is illegal.

[Steeleballz 7,550]

10 minutes ago, Boiler said:

How can it, paying women doing the same job less is illegal.

 

   Are you now suggesting corporations are incapable of breaking the law?

[laylalex 7,300]

25 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I can speak for most men and certainly initially quite what her salary is would not be a factor, begs the question how it arises? Does she put it on her profile.

 

I have a feeling you are looking at it from a female perspective and reversing it.

No it's not on her profile. I'm not talking about hookups. I'm talking about you get 2 weeks or a month in and differences in lifestyle and spending start pulling into focus. A guy who was making $45k working in a restaurant as a sous chef or whatever would be able to pick up on the difference when he knows the woman is in private practice. I'm not saying this is every man she dates. It's happened enough to be notable. 

[Steeleballz 7,550]

53 minutes ago, laylalex said:

No it's not on her profile. I'm not talking about hookups. I'm talking about you get 2 weeks or a month in and differences in lifestyle and spending start pulling into focus. A guy who was making $45k working in a restaurant as a sous chef or whatever would be able to pick up on the difference when he knows the woman is in private practice. I'm not saying this is every man she dates. It's happened enough to be notable. 

 

   I think, following on what you said earlier, maybe it's more of a cultural/social issue. My wife and I make roughly the same. Once in a while she gets a raise first and jumps ahead of me. Every time that happens,  she tells me I should be making more. To which I answer that my employer doesn't really care how much she makes. However it is sort of a cultural norm in Russia (and many countries) that the man makes more than the woman. 

 

  I don't think it's a shortage of "economically attractive men", but it may be an abundance of people uncomfortable with the concept of a woman making more in a relationship. Personally, I can see the upside. Last time my wife was making more than me, I started joking that I could start working part time soon. Didn't go over well as a joke, but I think it was well received as a concept. It's better on the whole if we both make more money, regardless of how we get there.  

 

   

 

  

   

Edited September 29, 2019 by Steeleballz

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45 minutes ago, Steeleballz said:

 

   I think, following on what you said earlier, maybe it's more of a cultural/social issue. My wife and I make roughly the same. Once in a while she gets a raise first and jumps ahead of me. Every time that happens,  she tells me I should be making more. To which I answer that my employer doesn't really care how much she makes. However it is sort of a cultural norm in Russia (and many countries) that the man makes more than the woman. 

 

  I don't think it's a shortage of "economically attractive men", but it may be an abundance of people uncomfortable with the concept of a woman making more in a relationship. Personally, I can see the upside. Last time my wife was making more than me, I started joking that I could start working part time soon. Didn't go over well as a joke, but I think it was well received as a concept. It's better on the whole if we both make more money, regardless of how we get there.  

 

 

Having a beer so not a scientific survey but nobody here has an issue and not sure why they would.

 

General consensus it is more a female issue. 

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1 hour ago, laylalex said:

No it's not on her profile. I'm not talking about hookups. I'm talking about you get 2 weeks or a month in and differences in lifestyle and spending start pulling into focus. A guy who was making $45k working in a restaurant as a sous chef or whatever would be able to pick up on the difference when he knows the woman is in private practice. I'm not saying this is every man she dates. It's happened enough to be notable. 

Well generalisations are of course generalisations, so that being said and not something I personally endured but my impression from people I know and are comfortably off but do not have standard qualifications, they feel they are basically blanked because of the tick list, even at a much lower level than Solicitor, for example 2 guys I know were talking about teachers cutting them down as they had not been to Uni.