VAWA, Part 16

[Roms2017 115]

16 hours ago, portorusa said:

The key word is “approved” . After VAWA is approved you can remarry with no negative consequences to your VAWA status. You get your green card through VAWA, it means you can get naturalized 3 years from the GC date. Your new marriage has nothing to do with it.

True

[Shroy123 749]

2 hours ago, Nu B said:

Hello guys,

I share my story, I was married with USC for almost 5 moths, he has like mental problem, I didn’t know until I live in the house. He never hit me but for me he is over controlling me. Before we married he said never stop my religious activity but after married, he changed. He say I can go wherever I want while he is not home. They like to watch adultery movie while I don’t be as long as I sit with them it’s enough, they like to hiking every weekend at the same spot but I don’t because it’s boring. While they often off the track too which is I don’t like because it’s danger. That’s why, weekend always become the stressed days ever for me since married.
The things that I don’t like because he always say that this is our time together as a married couple, we need to spend time together. I feel something isn’t right and I feel trap. I gave up.

That’s why, I run away from the house and after I had some suggestions from USCIS officer and the police officer. I move to a friend’s house in another city.

Until now, my husband tried to call me and leave some voicemails also my father-in-law to ask me comeback to the house again, and the things that made me surprised, they said they will pay my credit card bill (since they know I’m not working since I move to their house and I don’t have money) and they said wants to continue my i130, as long as I comeback home.

But, for me it’s enough, since the 1st and the 2nd month my father-in-law always pays my credit card bill, stop in the 3rd and 4th month but remember again in the 5th month after I left them.

Also, the weekend time become a nightmare I’m afraid, they will ask me to go hiking to unknown place and do something bad to me.

 

What should I do know guys?

Since I move to another city and call some legal aid services and they didn’t know vawa and they said it stop already, they suggested me to make restraining order and go to the court. I don’t want to see my husband and my father-in-law (he is a lawyer too) for now.

 

Any suggestions will help me sooo much. Thank you guys. I’m sorry if too much. God bless you all!
 

over controlling you means? He did not hit you that is a good thing but did he tried to isolated you, mental abused you? Because what you are saying, by watching adultery movies with you and forcing himself on you without your wish might consider as sexual abuse. But if he doesn't do that, it cant be count as an abuse. Also, he likes to travel and you do not. I can say this cannot be count as any kind of abuse. Does he force you to do things against you like forcing you to try adventurous rides? You have an option to say NO. if he force you or starts getting physical, then you have certain options. but according to me, if he is loyal with you, you should loyal with him. Marriage is a two way traffic.  if you are not in a abusive relationship, which i think you are not (I might be a wrong) you cannot apply for a vawa. Also, they paid for your credit card so you are not financially abused. it is just like you do not want to stay in this marriage 

@Stillwinning!!!😊 @FeDaniela what are your thoughts? or she did not explain her situation that much in detail? 

Edited October 16, 2019 by Shroy123

[Stillwinning!!!😊 4,570]

10 minutes ago, Shroy123 said:

over controlling you means? He did not hit you that is a good thing but did he tried to isolated you, mental abused you? Because what you are saying, by watching adultery movies with you and forcing himself on you without your wish might consider as sexual abuse. But if he doesn't do that, it cant be count as an abuse. Also, he likes to travel and you do not. I can say this cannot be count as any kind of abuse. Does he force you to do things against you like forcing you to try adventurous rides? You have an option to say NO. if he force you or starts getting physical, then you have certain options. but according to me, if he is loyal with you, you should loyal with him. Marriage is a two way traffic.  if you are not in a abusive relationship, which i think you are not (I might be a wrong) you cannot apply for a vawa. Also, they paid for your credit card so you are not financially abused. it is just like you do not want to stay in this marriage 

@Stillwinning!!!😊 @FeDaniela what are your thoughts? or she did not explain her situation that much in detail? 

I've read it through and through..I mean the posters story! If she can skip the making you watch "adultery" movies and participating in outdoor activities and just focus on the control...expand on it and his mental imbalance..she may have a chance if not there's not much strength in the overall story! She should read previous threads then she would be equipped to know if she's qualified and where her strong points are!💁

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

2 hours ago, Nu B said:

Hello guys,

I share my story, I was married with USC for almost 5 moths, he has like mental problem, I didn’t know until I live in the house. He never hit me but for me he is over controlling me. Before we married he said never stop my religious activity but after married, he changed. He say I can go wherever I want while he is not home. They like to watch adultery movie while I don’t be as long as I sit with them it’s enough, they like to hiking every weekend at the same spot but I don’t because it’s boring. While they often off the track too which is I don’t like because it’s danger. That’s why, weekend always become the stressed days ever for me since married.
The things that I don’t like because he always say that this is our time together as a married couple, we need to spend time together. I feel something isn’t right and I feel trap. I gave up.

That’s why, I run away from the house and after I had some suggestions from USCIS officer and the police officer. I move to a friend’s house in another city.

Until now, my husband tried to call me and leave some voicemails also my father-in-law to ask me comeback to the house again, and the things that made me surprised, they said they will pay my credit card bill (since they know I’m not working since I move to their house and I don’t have money) and they said wants to continue my i130, as long as I comeback home.

But, for me it’s enough, since the 1st and the 2nd month my father-in-law always pays my credit card bill, stop in the 3rd and 4th month but remember again in the 5th month after I left them.

Also, the weekend time become a nightmare I’m afraid, they will ask me to go hiking to unknown place and do something bad to me.

 

What should I do know guys?

Since I move to another city and call some legal aid services and they didn’t know vawa and they said it stop already, they suggested me to make restraining order and go to the court. I don’t want to see my husband and my father-in-law (he is a lawyer too) for now.

 

Any suggestions will help me sooo much. Thank you guys. I’m sorry if too much. God bless you all!
 

This does not sound like abuse.  It sounds like incompatibility.  If you want to divorce and go home you have that option.  They are not denying you anything by paying your bills.  What basis is your restraining order...You don't like the outside?  @sandranj

[Screecher 50]

16 hours ago, Shroy123 said:

Thank you. Almighty is Great 😀😀@Stillwinning!!!😊 actually they received it on Sep 23 and approved on Oct 10. Within few days 😀😀

@Screecher i want to say thank you to you as well you forced me to apply for it and I did and see it has been approved within two months.

@sandranj should I wait for an EAD card or i can show approval notice to my employer so that they can put me back on payroll? They approved it on October 10. Today I received notices and probably within 2 to 3 days i will receive my combo card IA

I am so happy for you .... it’s the congressman involvement that gets it done so quick ... personal experience...

anytimr there is a issue involve your congressman 

I am super thrilled for you ... go back to work 👍

[Shroy123 749]

20 minutes ago, Screecher said:

I am so happy for you .... it’s the congressman involvement that gets it done so quick ... personal experience...

anytimr there is a issue involve your congressman 

I am super thrilled for you ... go back to work 👍

might be. but the congressman expedite request that I made on c31 EAD that i filed on Dec 2018 was not accepted and it is still pending. they said i did not provide much evidences of financial need. So Remember last month I applied for another EAD application based on my I485 pending when we had a conversation on paying fees or not? that's the same ead that got approved within 3 weeks 

[Screecher 50]

5 minutes ago, Stillwinning!!!😊 said:

first you worry too much..and then I'm wondering why you are still opening the doors of communication between you and your ex..his lawyer too!💁 you are giving them the opportunity to scare and intimidate you the more! They already know your weak point and are using it against you! Also I see you now have an attorney like you mentioned!👍 shouldn't your attorney be the intermediary? Designate that duty to him since he's representing you! Focus on gathering evidence that will be your strong point not divorce! Divorce is not a requirement to qualify or get approved for Vawa! Things are moving along at least your NOA arrived!👍

I couldn’t have agreed more with @Stillwinning!!!😊 

Nataly - just focus on your petition , collect evidence get a decent pyschological evaluation through a pyschologist on Skype ( even though it’s not first choice ) but “ a pyschologist “ evaluation is better than none ... you can explain in your affidavit that why you had to resort to a online pyschologist evaluation since your Russian pyschologist were not willing to as per that country law .

then send your documents ...

focus on all this 

don’t even bother to communicate with your ex or his lawyer 

you don’t have to divorce him as per him and his terms and conditions 

they can file lawsuit or whatever they want to ... nothing will happen to you 

don’t get scared .... every problem has a solution .... there are legal ways to beat all that .... get your petition approved come to USA and lead your life ....

as far as your husband is concerned why don’t you disappear ! 
completely stop communicating 

is he going to come to Russia to find you ?
No

how will he know you came fo USA ?
 

you need to stop communicating with him ... period  

[Screecher 50]

3 minutes ago, Shroy123 said:

might be. but the congressman expedite request that I made on c31 EAD that i filed on Dec 2018 was not accepted and it is still pending. they said i did not provide much evidences of financial need. So Remember last month I applied for another EAD application based on my I485 pending when we had a conversation on paying fees or not? that's the same ead that got approved within 3 weeks 

I understand ... but the point is that you involved the congressman so your case had the congressman’s communications on it ..... hence when you applied for EAD it applied as well ... I thoroughly remember your case .

 

[Shroy123 749]

32 minutes ago, Pinkrlion said:

This does not sound like abuse.  It sounds like incompatibility.  If you want to divorce and go home you have that option.  They are not denying you anything by paying your bills.  What basis is your restraining order...You don't like the outside?  @sandranj

And also they want to continue her I130 so there is no immigration threat as well. Like in my case, my ex wife used to threat me by calling USCIS if I go for a prayer or meet with my friends or if I did not spent my savings on her. 

[Shroy123 749]

17 minutes ago, Screecher said:

I understand ... but the point is that you involved the congressman so your case had the congressman’s communications on it ..... hence when you applied for EAD it applied as well ... I thoroughly remember your case .

 

You are right 😉 I already notified both of my employers. They sent my EAD card yesterday so hoping to be delivered by tomorrow.. Buddy you are amazing

[Stillwinning!!!😊 4,570]

5 minutes ago, Screecher said:

I couldn’t have agreed more with @Stillwinning!!!😊 

Nataly - just focus on your petition , collect evidence get a decent pyschological evaluation through a pyschologist on Skype ( even though it’s not first choice ) but “ a pyschologist “ evaluation is better than none ... you can explain in your affidavit that why you had to resort to a online pyschologist evaluation since your Russian pyschologist were not willing to as per that country law .

then send your documents ...

focus on all this 

don’t even bother to communicate with your ex or his lawyer 

you don’t have to divorce him as per him and his terms and conditions 

they can file lawsuit or whatever they want to ... nothing will happen to you 

don’t get scared .... every problem has a solution .... there are legal ways to beat all that .... get your petition approved come to USA and lead your life ....

as far as your husband is concerned why don’t you disappear ! 
completely stop communicating 

is he going to come to Russia to find you ?
No

how will he know you came fo USA ?
 

you need to stop communicating with him ... period  

You're right my dear..any evaluation is better than none! Also she sounds like she's a loner...there should be friends or family who can write to attest of the abuse..surely someone knows about it..it will help! Together with the evaluation however initiated!💁

[Screecher 50]

8 minutes ago, Shroy123 said:

You are right 😉 I already notified both of my employers. They sent my EAD card yesterday so hoping to be delivered by tomorrow.. Buddy you are amazing

I feel personally victorious when one of us receives a good news ... we all are victims and survivors... every one of us deserves a life that is free of living under a thumb of anyone - be it the abuser or the immigration ... we all didn’t choose any of this ... we loved our abuser, we put trust and we dreamt of a normal life full of love and a humanitarian freedom and unfortunately we got stuck and thrown at mercy of savage abusers 

i wish all vawa petitioners get approved ...

we deserve to work and earn and breathe free, not asking too much 

Edited October 16, 2019 by Screecher

[Stillwinning!!!😊 4,570]

13 minutes ago, Shroy123 said:

And also they want to continue her I130 so there is no immigration threat as well. Like in my case, my ex wife used to threat me by calling USCIS if I go for a prayer or meet with my friends or if I did not spent my savings on her. 

I keep forgetting you are male..LOL this here statement just jolted me back to reality! 😀😀 sir!

[Screecher 50]

6 minutes ago, natalysmile said:

Thank you my dear
But still, you misunderstood me, or I misunderstood.
Lawyers offer to sign a settlement agreement. That agreement even indicates the amount for me from my husband.
So that the divorce case is not in court.
If I do not sign his lawyer, he filed a lawsuit to pay for my husband's services.
Suppose !!!
The court assigned me to pay my husband’s lawyer.
I do not pay and do not pay.
Now the important question.
Will I have trouble entering the United States if I don’t have it paid

So you are not signing out of court settlement because ?????

________
this seems complicated.

my only thing is why will you be sued if you didn’t sign anything ? 
 

have you read all the vawa threads ? 
Do you know what documents help prove bonafide marriage and abuse ? 
Have you collected any ? 
did you send any ? 
@portousa had said she will help you as she speaks Russian and is well versed with vawa 

did you connect with her ? 
 

get your personal affidavit done ... that’s the most important thing 

collect some affidavits from friends attesting to abuse 

affidavits from people attesting to bonafide marriage 

get a Skype evaluation done - 

contact Rosa brambleweed in queens NY , she does Skype evaluations 

collect evidence of abuse ... 

pictures of bonafide marriage 

pictures of abuse 

get good moral certificate done from Russia 

send them before they even ask for RFE 

send all of these documents in few months ... 
make your case stronger Before they issue a RFE .....you have a NOA - that means your case is with them ....

concentrate of all of this 

[Nu B 5]

That’s what my husband and my father-in-law said, that they taking care of me, so why I went from the house, but my counselor said they’re clever and manipulated me.

1. I like hiking but I don’t like hiking off the trail because anything could be happen and it happened one time. We get lost. Even my husband already get mad and screaming because we can’t get back to the trail. I don’t like hiking off the the trails, for me it’s kinda danger.
2. Father-in-law pay for the first and second month but not 3rd and 4th, and wants to pay the 5th since I’m runaway. I stopped work since May 2019 since I moved to their house and they know my condition.

3. They know I don’t like some kind of movies according to my belief, I’m not saying I’m perfect, but they force we to sit with them as spending time with them.

4. Not only movies, show or sports, they forced me to have the same favorite team, interests, political views, etc

5. They suggested to cancel all my religious activities or any kind of invitations from friends became we need to spend our time together.

6. Even, they asked me to stop any kind of social media, and phone, because they love old fashioned, and they force me to do the same.

7. Also all the food, the vitamins, and so on.....

No physical abuse, but I feel trapped. 
 

I know my husband didn’t about withdrawing i130 but my father-in-law sent email to me that they can’t wait forever. 
 

I don’t want comeback since I’m not sure they will change as I want. I just afraid.

PS: 2 years ago, my mother-in-law did suicidal through overdose xanax, in their house. Now I understand what the mother-in-law feeling that time.

 

Edited October 16, 2019 by Nu B