Man drowns during underwater marriage proposal

[laylalex 7,300]

2 hours ago, ALFKAD said:

Formal proposal???

 

#walkaway

I don't know why this seems to be such an issue with people on here, sorry, with men on here. I have seen other people post about EXACTLY the same thing. They have a discussion about getting married, and then one of them flies over from America to wherever the non-USC is and they have the ring and then the "formal proposal" happens. How is what we are doing any different? He is giving me the proposal he thinks I deserve, not just the slightly shambolic one I got on my loveseat at the end of July. It was endearing, but he didn't have the ring with him as it's currently in Scotland (it's a family heirloom). Since we will be up there next month, it made sense to have the proposal at his family's house, so we could share it with his mother and sister as well. How is this so out of line with what other people do? The only difference is that we were together when the first discussions started. You guys are so weird.

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,382]

7 hours ago, laylalex said:

I don't know why this seems to be such an issue with people on here, sorry, with men on here. I have seen other people post about EXACTLY the same thing. They have a discussion about getting married, and then one of them flies over from America to wherever the non-USC is and they have the ring and then the "formal proposal" happens. How is what we are doing any different? He is giving me the proposal he thinks I deserve, not just the slightly shambolic one I got on my loveseat at the end of July. It was endearing, but he didn't have the ring with him as it's currently in Scotland (it's a family heirloom). Since we will be up there next month, it made sense to have the proposal at his family's house, so we could share it with his mother and sister as well. How is this so out of line with what other people do? The only difference is that we were together when the first discussions started. You guys are so weird.

do you think someone would spend hours a week in here, that wasnt weird. ?

 

BTW those of us that know we are weird and embrace are light years ahead of those that have not realized they are weird yet !

[Dashinka 24,803]

34 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

do you think someone would spend hours a week in here, that wasnt weird. ?

 

BTW those of us that know we are weird and embrace are light years ahead of those that have not realized they are weird yet !

The first step is admitting one's weirdness.

 

 

Edited September 23, 2019 by Bill & Katya

[laylalex 7,300]

45 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

do you think someone would spend hours a week in here, that wasnt weird. ?

 

BTW those of us that know we are weird and embrace are light years ahead of those that have not realized they are weird yet !

Well, and I say this only for you, Nature Boy, my ex always did say there was something not quite right in the head about me!

 

Seriously, do you see anything wrong with my proposal plans? I think it's sweet that he wants it to be just right for me, and not when I'm sitting around in yoga pants and a sports bra talking about the primaries with him. He made such a mess of it I actually thought he was breaking up with me at first! I think he can have a second chance to make it perfect. Not so sure why @ALFKADand @Boris Farage think it's a sign of anything terrible. 

 

Weird! 

[Dashinka 24,803]

24 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Well, and I say this only for you, Nature Boy, my ex always did say there was something not quite right in the head about me!

 

Seriously, do you see anything wrong with my proposal plans? I think it's sweet that he wants it to be just right for me, and not when I'm sitting around in yoga pants and a sports bra talking about the primaries with him. He made such a mess of it I actually thought he was breaking up with me at first! I think he can have a second chance to make it perfect. Not so sure why @ALFKADand @Boris Farage think it's a sign of anything terrible. 

 

Weird! 

People can propose any way they want.  Expecting it to be perfect is like expecting a wedding ceremony to be perfect, there is no such thing.  In our case, the proposal went something like this, "do you want to get married?" with a response "sure" over Skype.  Neither myself, nor my wife thought it was an extremely important event.  Now, I did make sure I came to the fiancé visa interview as to me that was a much more important event overall, and now five years later we are still happier than ever. 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

if the fiance retrieves the ring, is it considered naval salvage? 

[TBoneTX 46,129]

1 hour ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

do you think someone would spend hours a week in here, that wasnt weird. ?

We Mods are completely unweird.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

13 hours ago, laylalex said:

I don't know why this seems to be such an issue with people on here, sorry, with men on here. I have seen other people post about EXACTLY the same thing. They have a discussion about getting married, and then one of them flies over from America to wherever the non-USC is and they have the ring and then the "formal proposal" happens. How is what we are doing any different? He is giving me the proposal he thinks I deserve, not just the slightly shambolic one I got on my loveseat at the end of July. It was endearing, but he didn't have the ring with him as it's currently in Scotland (it's a family heirloom). Since we will be up there next month, it made sense to have the proposal at his family's house, so we could share it with his mother and sister as well. How is this so out of line with what other people do? The only difference is that we were together when the first discussions started. You guys are so weird.

Well, if you were going to Scotland anyway, then it makes sense.  You made it sound like he had to take you to Scotland and propose cuz it’s what you deserve, as a high-falootin’ CA girl who lives so fancy (does the ex’s money end when you tie the knot?).  (IOW, I was messing with you)

And yes, I am weird.  Duh!

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

4 hours ago, laylalex said:

Well, and I say this only for you, Nature Boy, my ex always did say there was something not quite right in the head about me!

 

Seriously, do you see anything wrong with my proposal plans? I think it's sweet that he wants it to be just right for me, and not when I'm sitting around in yoga pants and a sports bra talking about the primaries with him. He made such a mess of it I actually thought he was breaking up with me at first! I think he can have a second chance to make it perfect. Not so sure why @ALFKADand @Boris Farage think it's a sign of anything terrible. 

 

Weird! 

Ok, the rest of us won’t read the first sentence.

You wear bras?  I thought you were liberated???

[laylalex 7,300]

23 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Well, if you were going to Scotland anyway, then it makes sense.  You made it sound like he had to take you to Scotland and propose cuz it’s what you deserve, as a high-falootin’ CA girl who lives so fancy (does the ex’s money end when you tie the knot?).  (IOW, I was messing with you)

And yes, I am weird.  Duh!

Oh, that totally wasn't it at all -- it was to get the ring from his family. I would have been happy with a piece of twine around my finger, but he wants it to be RIGHT. We both had such messes of first marriages, and he wants to make this one right from the very start. I can't even believe that he got the ring back from Wife No. 1 but he did. 

 

The support payments do stop when I remarry, and believe me, whatever the ex's reservations are about me remarrying this particular person, he will be relieved to no longer have to throw money at me. I have a lump sum he paid as well as part of the settlement which I haven't really had to touch, and that's not going anywhere. It's enough that I don't really need to worry too much about my lifestyle changing dramatically.

 

22 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Ok, the rest of us won’t read the first sentence.

You wear bras?  I thought you were liberated???

Liberated women wear bras too! It's particularly important to have decent support when you're doing anything involving impact. But that night I was just kind of slobbing out after work and it's loungewear as well as having a more practical use. It isn't particularly glamorous!!!!

[Boris Farage 353]

10 hours ago, laylalex said:

Seriously, do you see anything wrong with my proposal plans? I think it's sweet that he wants it to be just right for me, and not when I'm sitting around in yoga pants and a sports bra talking about the primaries with him.

Red flag number one (in this conversation anyway): a man who proposes to you while you're wearing the dregs of your wardrobe is a man who sees it as a foregone conclusion, and is merely going through the motions.

 

10 hours ago, laylalex said:

I actually thought he was breaking up with me at first! I think he can have a second chance to make it perfect. Not so sure why @ALFKADand @Boris Farage think it's a sign of anything terrible.

Red flag number two: a man who cannot even articulate his intentions is a man who hasn't practised his proposal. Because he sees your acceptance as a foregone conclusion, and is merely going through the motions.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

35 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

 

Red flag number two: a man who cannot even articulate his intentions is a man who hasn't practised his proposal. Because he sees your acceptance as a foregone conclusion, and is merely going through the motions.

Practice his proposal?  Why?  If it comes from the heart, it needs no practice.  I'd be leery of a person who had to write their proposal down and practice it.

[Boris Farage 353]

11 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Practice his proposal?  Why?  If it comes from the heart, it needs no practice.  I'd be leery of a person who had to write their proposal down and practice it.

You don't have to write it down. But you should practice it. It's one of the most important moments in your life. More importantly, it's the most important moment in HER life. A man serious enough to propose should be serious enough to make sure it is absolute perfection.

[laylalex 7,300]

42 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Red flag number one (in this conversation anyway): a man who proposes to you while you're wearing the dregs of your wardrobe is a man who sees it as a foregone conclusion, and is merely going through the motions.

Well, GREEN flag number one, it was NOT a proposal. It was a... demi-proposal. A "watch this space" discussion -- he had finally summoned up the nerve to tell me it was not fair to string me along without telling me that a proposal that was the one I deserved was on its way. But he wanted to make sure I knew how he felt, and that marriage was in the cards. We have not set a date, but I expect it will be next year. No rush. He can have his L1B renewed for another 2 years, I think.

 

42 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Red flag number two: a man who cannot even articulate his intentions is a man who hasn't practised his proposal. Because he sees your acceptance as a foregone conclusion, and is merely going through the motions.

Okay, he kind of made a hash of it, I admit.  I just checked my diary because I wrote it all down in there because it was so dumb and effed up. He said,: "Layla, I’m not ready to get married now but I’d like to think I will. Someday soon. And I’d like to think you will, too. To me. Someday. [Expletives deleted]. Idiot boy. Can I try this again?"  I wrote it all down because it was so messed up. He didn't see it as a foregone conclusion, he's just a bit of a mess at the proposal thing, so he wants to get it right.

 

7 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Practice his proposal?  Why?  If it comes from the heart, it needs no practice.  I'd be leery of a person who had to write their proposal down and practice it.

EXACTLY!!!!! It came from his heart, even if it came out totally garbled. We got there in the end. 

[Boris Farage 353]

2 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Okay, he kind of made a hash of it, I admit.  I just checked my diary because I wrote it all down in there because it was so dumb and effed up. He said,: "Layla, I’m not ready to get married now but I’d like to think I will. Someday soon. And I’d like to think you will, too. To me. Someday. [Expletives deleted]. Idiot boy. Can I try this again?"  I wrote it all down because it was so messed up.

Sounds like Freudian slip for "I'm going to get cold feet" to me.

 

But it's your life. I promise not to gloat (much) when it unravels. It all just seems very off to me.