Do You Believe Unconditional Love Can Exist In A Marriage?

[Savanphil 3]

I beleive it can exist between parent- child, and in marriage...in fact I have witnessed it in my own family. Trust me people have done some un-lovable stuff. But they are loved just the same.

[Queen Jenn 0]

I believe that it can exist in a family as well as in a marriage. BUT, it depends on a person's CAPABILITY to love. Love comes easier to some people than others.

I believe it exists in my family. I definitely love my brother unconditionally. He's bi-polar and has DEFINITELY done some VERY un-lovable things. But I still love him TONS.

And I definitely love my SO unconditionally. It doesn't matter what he has done in the past (or what comes in the future). I will ALWAYS love him.

[Jackie&Yosdani 0]

I think so, It's just very hard to find..

[*JG* 2]

I believe it exists in and out of marriage. You can love someone, no matter what, even if you can't live with them.

[Uzume 0]

I suppose it depends on one's definition. I think "conditions" have a negative stigma to them but if they are called "boundaries" which is the same thing really, this is what I mean by conditions. It also depends if it's mutual.

What happens in a relationship where one side loves the other unconditionally but it's not reciprocated?

For me, it has always been logical and necessary for my relationships to be healthy to have certain conditions. Not necessarlily written but I do make it clear that I don't accept bullying behaviour, disrespect or cheating for example. Now, those who do believe in unconditional love, if this applies to you also, it is not unconditional at all.

I don't have to worry about any of the above with my beloved Chris however ( ) because he's adorable.

[Nessa 23]

I believe in order to love my SO unconditionally it would possible if I didn't love myself unconditionally.

Let me try to explain, I'd forgive, accept a lot of things that he would do in the present/future (what he has done in the past stays in the past), but if he did something real bad for me or someone else I love and I just accepted and forgave it because I love him no matter what, wouldn't that be like someone kicking you and you stay there, still, quiet, not only doing nothing about it, but encouraging, accepting, and demonstrating that they can keep doing that because you have no self-love, self-respect to put a stop on it?

Does it make sense?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I believe in order to love my SO unconditionally it would possible if I didn't love myself unconditionally.

Let me try to explain, I'd forgive, accept a lot of things that he would do in the present/future (what he has done in the past stays in the past), but if he did something real bad for me or someone else I love and I just accepted and forgave it because I love him no matter what, wouldn't that be like someone kicking you and you stay there, still, quiet, not only doing nothing about it, but encouraging, accepting, and demonstrating that they can keep doing that because you have no self-love, self-respect to put a stop on it?

Does it make sense?

I think it's an ideal to strive for - maybe there's a better term than 'unconditional love' but I can't think of one that explains that you don't set any specific conditions to your love for your spouse beyond the condition of mutual love for one another. Negative behavior that is abusive is not love and allowing a spouse to be abusive is in effect not loving yourself.

I can't imagine having a marriage where the love is based on any concrete conditions (that they never smoke, that they eat healthy, that they are gainfully employed, etc).

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Not in mine. There are certain things I won't forgive.

[Nessa 23]

btw I voted yes, even though its not my case, but the question was if I believe it can exist in a marriage, I believe so yes.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Not in mine. There are certain things I won't forgive.

I don't think I could stay in a marriage if I found out my spouse had an affair, but I don't want to make such blanket conditions because I can't foresee the circumstances. But like someone said, you don't have to continue living with someone to still love them. Any act that my spouse would do that would make me consider leaving them would be an act outside of love, so in the meantime I'm going to love my spouse without any strings attached under the presumption that the love is mutual.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I voted no and I haven't read the rest of the responses yet. That's because I wanted to go with my gut and not be swayed..I will read the rest after this. Almost anything can be a condition, which is why I voted no. I love Craig to bits, and he loves me. If he beat me on a regular basis, however, I would (at a minimum...) over time fall out of love with him. If he cheated on me repeatedly, I would fall out of love with him...so those are conditions. I find it very difficult to believe that almost anything is truly unconditional...and maybe even this is...but if I were to say anything is...I would say the love of a child to a parent...but even that can change. I can't imagine not loving MY son,oersonally, but I have seen what other children have done to their parents (in the news) *shudder*!!! M.

[doc_cute 0]

i think yes for the time being i havent seen an aiota of condition btw us but yes it may arise in future god knows i dunno

in my bro - in laws case

he n his partner havent married yet n they have put so so so many conditions i just cant belive it

its looks so synical to hear those pitty patty conditions omg !

[sparkofcreation 0]

On the one hand, I don't believe it exists, period.

On the other hand, I have the worst dog in the world, and even though she's aggressive and I hate her and want to get rid of her, I still love her.

Whether it exists or not, I don't believe it matters whether it's in a marriage or not. That is, if it exists, it exists. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Marriage has nothing to do with it.

Edited June 9, 2007 by sparkofcreation

[SierraYDiego 0]

This seems to be a controversial topic even among so-called relationship experts. Your thoughts?

I think it exists anywhere two people accept each other and approach a relationship with openness, honesty, respect and loyalty.

[ILIKEALLCAPS 0]

Do I think it's possible to love someone and expect absolutely nothing in return? Yes. Can this happen in a marriage? Yes.

Example: When my first wife was dying of cancer, and it had taken enough of her brain that she no longer was who she was.....I loved her. When she didn't know who I was, that didn't matter, because I loved her. When it was a question of when, not if, to let her go....I loved her. I didn't love her only if she'd recover. I didn't love her to have love returned. I love her still, and have no conditions placed upon that love.

I say if you're stuck on the "what if"s of life.....then you can't unconditionally love. But if you're truly there, living in your marriage, loving not to be loved in return.....not for sex, or comfort, or companionship, or even to be in love.....just loving.....then you've got it made.

*goes off to beam madly at Cerise*