Please Help!

[Hello729 74]

Hi everyone,

I am so depressed and I am not sure where to turn and I am posting in here asking for help.  We have been married for 8 months but throughout those 8 months we are constantly fighting.  Now I finally realize that we are not compatible and I believe divorce is the only option for us.  We are currently at the adjustment of status stage.  To complicate the matter,  we are going to have a newborn in November.  

 

I would like to do what’s best for the baby that’s coming.  But, I don’t know where to begin.  Looking back, I now believe I have made the biggest mistake of my life by marrying my spouse.  I am so depressed and I don’t quite know what to do.

 

What should I do?

[payxibka 10,047]

Only you can decide 

[USS_Voyager 1,972]

3 minutes ago, Hello729 said:

 But, I don’t know where to begin

Begin with that. What do you want to do? Do you want to stay in the US or do you want to go back to your home country? Do you just have a pending I-485? Do you want to raise the baby here in the States? 

[Hello729 74]

1 minute ago, USS_Voyager said:

Begin with that. What do you want to do? Do you want to stay in the US or do you want to go back to your home country? Do you just have a pending I-485? Do you want to raise the baby here in the States? 

Thank you for your quick reply.  I feel like I am going out of my mind here.  I am a USC.  My spouse is from China.  She was divorced.  So this is her second marriage.  We have a pending I-485.  She does not want to go back to her home country.  And she does not want a divorce.  She is vindictive and she is using the newborn against me.  I am crying every day.  

[payxibka 10,047]

Just now, Hello729 said:

Thank you for your quick reply.  I feel like I am going out of my mind here.  I am a USC.  My spouse is from China.  She was divorced.  So this is her second marriage.  We have a pending I-485.  She does not want to go back to her home country.  And she does not want a divorce.  She is vindictive and she is using the newborn against me.  I am crying every day.  

Well, you need to put your "big boy " pants on and make a decision.   You don't need her cooperation to facilitate a divorce.   Have you thought about marriage counseling 

[Boiler 45,813]

Pull the I 485

 

Appoint a Divorce Lawyer

 

Read up about VAWA, I have a strong feeling it will be coming your way.

[Hello729 74]

6 minutes ago, payxibka said:

Only you can decide 

Thank you for your quick reply.  I feel like I am going out of my mind here.  Yes, I believe that, too.  I just want to do what’s best for the baby.  I also own my own home prior to entering into this marriage.  I am just afraid that I might lose the house and the baby.  I digged my own grave I know.  I am an idiot for believing her and marrying her.  I am crying every day.

[Hello729 74]

2 minutes ago, payxibka said:

Well, you need to put your "big boy " pants on and make a decision.   You don't need her cooperation to facilitate a divorce.   Have you thought about marriage counseling 

She does not want marriage counseling.  She is vindictive and she is using the baby against me.  

[Hello729 74]

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Pull the I 485

 

Appoint a Divorce Lawyer

 

Read up about VAWA, I have a strong feeling it will be coming your way.

How do I pull the I485?

 

[payxibka 10,047]

Just now, Hello729 said:

She does not want marriage counseling.  She is vindictive and she is using the baby against me.  

Then your path may be chosen already.   Speak with an attorney to understand your rights and discuss all your concerns.   Immediate action is to stop the AOS by pulling the affidavit of support,  if that is the path you take.   There are ramifications if you stop AOS and you must understand how your decision affects the child 

[geowrian 22,337]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Pull the I 485

 

Appoint a Divorce Lawyer

 

Read up about VAWA, I have a strong feeling it will be coming your way.

I-864* OP is the petitioner...they can't pull the I-485.

 

 

1 minute ago, Hello729 said:

How do I pull the I485?

You can pull the I-864 via a letter to USCIS requesting your withdrawal of it. No reason is even needed.

 

As noted above, she may or may not try to stay via VAWA (abuse-basis). Avoid being alone with her whenever possible.

[Hello729 74]

1 minute ago, payxibka said:

Then your path may be chosen already.   Speak with an attorney to understand your rights and discuss all your concerns.   Immediate action is to stop the AOS by pulling the affidavit of support,  if that is the path you take.   There are ramifications if you stop AOS and you must understand how your decision affects the child 

Thank you your quick reply because I am going out of my mind here.  I am new to the whole process:  How do I stop the AOS by pulling the affidavit of support?

[payxibka 10,047]

1 minute ago, Hello729 said:

Thank you your quick reply because I am going out of my mind here.  I am new to the whole process:  How do I stop the AOS by pulling the affidavit of support?

See geowrian's previous post 

Edited September 10, 2019 by payxibka

[Hello729 74]

4 minutes ago, geowrian said:

I-864* OP is the petitioner...they can't pull the I-485.

 

 

You can pull the I-864 via a letter to USCIS requesting your withdrawal of it. No reason is even needed.

 

As noted above, she may or may not try to stay via VAWA (abuse-basis). Avoid being alone with her whenever possible.

Can I do that even though we are still married?  🙏

1 minute ago, payxibka said:

See geowrian's previous post 

Ok and thank you 🙏 

[Boiler 45,813]

From her point of view she should want to leave soon as once the child is born most unlikely a Court would let her take the child with her.